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Thread: Yev's Sitcom - All New Thread

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    Yev's Sitcom - All New Thread

    Write the sitcom and get it commissioned

    Why would I want to?

    I've got a corking and semi-original idea. In the mould of an After-Life style show rather than an out and out sitcom. Do they even exist these days beyond Mrs Browns Boys?

    Why won't I?

    I could write it, but it'd be seriously hard work, so the problem above homes into view. Then if I have, commissioning it would be very hard without some sort of 'way-in'. As much as Gervais came from nowhere he had a failed band so obviously knew media types. Hence, I'd probably need to do the above first.

    Chances of it happening? 1/10

    Over to you....Let's do the British thing and crush each other's dreams.
    Last edited by Yevrah; 25-07-2021 at 08:16 PM.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    A little but I don't think it's too bad. I could probably wangle a Greek passport if it came down to that.

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    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Socotra was on my bucketlist 5-10 years ago as well, but I kinda forgot about it when things kicked off in Yemen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    If I had a permanent tan in my current situation people would know I’d been on the sun beds and peoples estimations of me would plummet. Plus sun beds are bad news. Whereas going on holiday every school holidays, exposing myself to the [sunny] elements, that’s the life.

    If we ever reach zero Covid [in nice countries] I genuinely reckon I’d attempt it for a year just blowing all my money, annual leave dependent, but the resulting holiday blues would probably be unrecoverable.
    On a similar note, the company and group of companies I work directly for is about to be sold (already announced to the City so I'm not saying anything I shouldn't). If I lose my job (and I don't know whether I will and it'll likely be next year if I do) I'm so tempted to rent my house out, travel the world for a year or two and write some of the above. A tan would absolutely happen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bernanke View Post
    Socotra was on my bucketlist 5-10 years ago as well, but I kinda forgot about it when things kicked off in Yemen.
    Yeah, it's a real shame, with that and the Gulf of Arden I can't see how it will be a place one can go without the serious threat of ending up on the internets in an orange jumpsuit in my lifetime.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Brew professionally.

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The one thing I want to do but feels like I'll never achieve is get to a level of competency in a foreign language. I always thought it would be Italian but if my work move comes off, maybe I'll have a chance at German.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Does your wife not speak Portuguese?

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Yes she does.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Seems like that might be an easy way to learn it.

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Aren't they doing something on channel 4 at the moment where a bunch of celebs are doing memory shit building towards learning a new language in a week or something?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Seems like that might be an easy way to learn it.
    It's not.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I think having millions of these things is the absolute definition of being a white middle class cliché, myself included.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I am a right jack of all trades.

    Languages: I can speak Spanish/French well enough to be understood, but not well enough to be respected by natives. I use them both every day at work. What's stopping me from being properly 100% fluent is I just don't come across enough different vocab. If you want to chat about engines, I'm your man. But I need to immerse myself in it to get any better than the current 'decent'.

    Guitar: I can play. I am musical. But my fingers just don't allow me to do barre chords, which keeps me at campfire strumming standard forever. If I made this my main hobby and put hours into making my fingers more flexible, I could probably get there. But I like sport more than I like guitar, so this will likely not happen unless I lose my legs in a freak accident.

    Golf: I love golf. It is poetry to me. The ultimate A to B challenge. The feeling off the clubhead when you strike a ball properly is like nothing else. I putt and chip very well for a player of my overall standard. But I'm no good with the long game. I hit down on it. I slice it. These are all problems that come from a lifetime of cricket, which is far more handsy and reactive than golf. I don't have the time or money to solve it.

    I would give myself a 3/10 chance of mastering even one of these three. I would absolutely love to do so.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    It's not.
    Okay, not easy because learning a language isn't easy but easier than learning something off duo lingo or going to a weekly class or whatever.

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I'm not sure it is. Teaching a language from scratch isn't that easy without planning it properly. Maybe when she starts talking baby Portuguese to the little one then I'll learn but otherwise it's a language app.

    Re guitar: I really wish I could play more varied stuff but I'm too lazy and can't be arsed going beyond what I know. Not listening to much new music probably hampers it as well.

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    Yep. I lived with a Finn and her boy for two years. I know about three words and one of those isn't an actual Finnish word.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It's almost impossible to learn a language as an adult unless you parachute your way into a place and have no choice but to learn it or die alone in a gutter.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I've tried getting my Polish from "decent" to fluent using various programmes throughout the years but it's seriously tough.

    Had an extended stretch on Duolingo not too long ago but it's only really good for teaching you some vocabulary. The grammar side (which is what I struggle with) there was almost no help.

    They'd "teach" you the various endings of words but not why they're being used in said sentence.

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    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    Been with the missus over three years and I know four words of Romanian. Her family and mates all speak English so what's the point.

  21. #21
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    Making 1000% on one trade.
    Retiring by 40.

    Losing 1000% on one trade.
    Living in a homeless shelter.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    Been with the missus over three years and I know four words of Romanian. Her family and mates all speak English so what's the point.
    "nu mai mânca lebede"

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Yep. I lived with a Finn and her boy for two years. I know about three words and one of those isn't an actual Finnish word.
    Finnish is notoriously one of the hardest languages to learn.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yevrah spending two years failing to step-dad some selectively mute Finnish sperg is another piece in the puzzle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Yevrah spending two years failing to step-dad some selectively mute Finnish sperg is another piece in the puzzle.
    We’re still great friends, so not really. It’ll all be in the sitcom though.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    In an alternate universe, this is the Finnish Yev trying to learn English to better understand his English girlfriend's friends and family


  27. #27
    I used to be funny.
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    He sounds like Mika Hakkinen. It's amazing.

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    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Yep. I lived with a Finn and her boy for two years. I know about three words and one of those isn't an actual Finnish word.
    Out of curiosity what are the words you remember?

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    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    He sounds like Mika Hakkinen. It's amazing.
    Since this is probably the first ever time Finnish has been brought up here I can be of some use and tell you that when someones English is bad (like above) it’s called ’rally-English’ in here due to the likes of Häkkinen and many others.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I also know 3 Finnish words (Perkele, Emanta and Isanta) from watching a load of Dudesons when younger.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Is the "Hoodraulic press" guy Finnish?

  32. #32
    I used to be funny.
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    I need to find a good load of lessons for German.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Why would you learn the least useful language in the world?

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    I used to be funny.
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    You asked the same question last time. I'll answer the same way. I want to visit useless countries.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Is the "Hoodraulic press" guy Finnish?
    He is.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    You asked the same question last time. I'll answer the same way. I want to visit useless countries.
    Wales is right there.

  37. #37
    heavy like led Dark Soldier's Avatar
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    I kinda wanna write a novel and/or screenplay, not sure what medium it'dbe in yet. Got the idea in my head all fleshed out alongside stuff in a notebook.

    Probably won't because I'm an absolute lazy fucker.

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    Senior Member Bam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    I kinda wanna write a novel and/or screenplay, not sure what medium it'dbe in yet. Got the idea in my head all fleshed out alongside stuff in a notebook.

    Probably won't because I'm an absolute lazy fucker.

    Do it.

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    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    I kinda wanna write a novel and/or screenplay, not sure what medium it'dbe in yet. Got the idea in my head all fleshed out alongside stuff in a notebook.

    Probably won't because I'm an absolute lazy fucker.
    Same. Problem with screenplays are you lose all creative control when it gets optioned and you have to write with a budget in mind, for us nobodys that is ultra low budget. Novels you have no worries on that side but a lot more to write.

    I keep thinking it is a pipe dream and I know it probably is, but then I see people like The Critical Drinker talking about how he wrote his first books working full time and having kids to look after, and now he just writes and does youtube videos for a living and seems happy enough.

    The problem I have is I have a lot of good ideas, which are worthless if you don't action them, but I usually start strongly on them then tail off as enthusiasm wanes and eventually put stuff down never to be seen again. I have 10,000 words of a near future sci fi novel lying around somewhere which is exactly that, starts strongly then has a bit of a wobble when the plot doesnt know where it's going.

    It would be nice to at least finish one and see something come of it at least.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Soldier View Post
    I kinda wanna write a novel and/or screenplay, not sure what medium it'dbe in yet. Got the idea in my head all fleshed out alongside stuff in a notebook.

    Probably won't because I'm an absolute lazy fucker.
    I took a notepad to the pub last night and just started scribbling stuff down when things came up. Other patrons thought it was weird, but my God do you get some gold that way just reminiscing with a couple of mates you've known for decades.

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Same. Problem with screenplays are you lose all creative control when it gets optioned
    You see, unless I was being offered silly money to whore my integrity (which would never happen with a first timer) I'd just say I'm keeping all of the creative control or it's not getting made. If it doesn't then so be it and I think that's a much easier stance to take when you're the age we are and have other stuff in your life already.

  42. #42
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    You see, unless I was being offered silly money to whore my integrity (which would never happen with a first timer) I'd just say I'm keeping all of the creative control or it's not getting made. If it doesn't then so be it and I think that's a much easier stance to take when you're the age we are and have other stuff in your life already.
    Yeah unless you were making it yourself you wouldn't get creative control. I am in a Screenwriting group with pretty successful writers (in terms of it being their sole source of income) and once your script is optioned you have no control, the producer will give you notes for changes in the rewrite and if you object they just bring someone else in to rewrite it and your credit gets split. It is gone to the point if you are ever invited on set you can't give your opinion on anything unless the director asks for it, otherwise you are kicked off.

    That said, my mate has got a sitcom in Glasgow greenlit after struggling to get it made, even being slagged off by the head of Channel 4's light entertainment department in the process. But the difference is they are producing it themselves. Similar to the Hairy Bikers (and I assume others) where they pitch the product, then when they get the nod and the money they sell the finished product to the broadcaster.

    For me, I think novels are the only way to retain complete control. I am at peace with stuff being changed to make it work/get a finished project out there with my name on it. It's worth reading screenplays of your favourite films for research, and it is interesting to see how much was changed between that and the finished film. Even names, no point getting too attached to the clever name you thought up because it will likely be changed. Casting changes things all the time, I read that in the recently DS recommended Hunter Hunter the kid was written as an 8 year old boy but changed to a 12 year old girl after a strong audition from the actor, and the dialogue changed to match in the script.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Realistically fellas, are you actually good writers? Because people here think I write funny, but I'm not sat here thinking I could write anything beyond dry historical wank.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Not only good, but good enough to demand that my vision is not altered by anyone.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Similarly, Yevrah seems to be not giving stand-up a whirl because writing a Netflix special and going on tour might get in the way of his life. Just find a five minute slot somewhere like everyone else who ever tried it.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Netflix Presents 'Yevlife Crisis', with him on the poster doing that 'Huh?' face that comedians do (scratching his head and/or with an exasperated hand out).

  47. #47
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Like people who show up to the gym for the first time ever, but don't want to get too big.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Randrew could send me some of his chocolates though. It's the least he could do after the year we've endured for his benefit.

  49. #49
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Similarly, Yevrah seems to be not giving stand-up a whirl because writing a Netflix special and going on tour might get in the way of his life. Just find a five minute slot somewhere like everyone else who ever tried it.
    Well, exactly. One of my pals is very funny (by the standards of one's mates), wrote some genuinely interesting stuff throughout his 20s (a few little youtube projects he started and got bored with etc), and even did the crappy stand-up circuit in Bristol when he was at uni (playing on plenty of bills with Jordan Brookes who actually ended up a good professional stand up), and even he was unable to get anywhere with it.

    I'm obviously biased, but I feel like if he wasn't able to get much more than having a few dozen people tell him after comedy shows/seeing his other creative things "you're actually really good!" with his combination of genuine talent and a reasonable amount of effort then what chance have you got?

  50. #50
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I actually don't think stand up would be difficult at all. In the nicest way, people are idiots. If they pay money to laugh, or plan an evening around laughing, you'd have to be pretty shit not to make them laugh.

    I'm mostly basing this off doing a best man speech where within about ten seconds I realised my previous nerves were for nothing. I get that people are generally in a great mood and more willing to support in that situation (hecklers must be pretty rare) but I feel the same logic applies. When people want to laugh, they laugh.

    I also had a mate who tried some amateur stand up at uni and I went to all his gigs so met a fair amount of other amateur stand ups. Most were really, really shit and comedy was far from natural to them, but they still got decent receptions, then some were utter messes on stage and honestly still got a few laughs.

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