Tokyo Olympics

[Jimmy Floyd]

In most new events (I only know about this from golf) they only get given 2 medals (one for each gender) as a probation run and they just get told to make the best of it. Presumably the climbing authorities thought they had to showcase themselves in a certain way in order to get established and be given more medals in the future. I know in the case of golf that is why they basically use the most boring, safe format available.

All these weird mixed relays in various sports seem to be a way of gerrymandering gender equality in terms of participants.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Fun event but the scoring needs to be looked at.

[-james-]

In most new events (I only know about this from golf) they only get given 2 medals (one for each gender) as a probation run and they just get told to make the best of it. Presumably the climbing authorities thought they had to showcase themselves in a certain way in order to get established and be given more medals in the future. I know in the case of golf that is why they basically use the most boring, safe format available.

All these weird mixed relays in various sports seem to be a way of gerrymandering gender equality in terms of participants.

Yeah it makes sense that the IOC wanted to get speed involved because it's pretty eye-catching and accessible. Nobody within climbing likes the combined format but I don't see what else they could've done. The decision to make the speed component of the combined final as high variance as possible is pretty baffling though.

Speed gets its own medal in Paris, 'how. They'll probably want to separate lead and boulder further down the line as well.

[niko_cee]

What the fuck is this artistic karate bullshit?

Now, I know about katas and whatnot, but I'm sorry, no. Get out.

Be fucking gold medal keepy uppies next (admittedly probably better than the actual Olympic football).

[Jimmy Floyd]

Keepy uppie would be a great Olympic sport. You could have an artistic one with judges, a timed one, one going over an obstacle course in the skate park, some kind of mixed relay obviously.

Karate and baseball have been given the chop for Paris. Presumably pétanque and pelota are in.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Keepy uppie would be a great Olympic sport. You could have an artistic one with judges, a timed one, one going over an obstacle course in the skate park, some kind of mixed relay obviously.

Karate and baseball have been given the chop for Paris. Presumably pétanque and pelota are in.

Well they've decided to keep surfing (which will be held in nearby Tahiti), skateboarding and climbing.

This has left them with one choice for an additional "sport" which will be breakdancing...

[Spikey M]

Fuck me, Every country will send their version of Phonics.

[Pepe]

Can't wait to see Yev go for gold in esports.

[Manc]

How did Hal get on in the race walk?

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Can't wait to see Yev go for gold in esports.

He'll keep requesting a new save/challenge halfway through.

[Yevrah]

Can't wait to see Yev go for gold in esports.

I'd be nowhere near good enough, even at Bethesda games.

[Giggles]

In fairness you could probably strip over half the sports out of this.

[Shindig]

The annoying thing with eSports is I only find fighting games to be watchable. The FGC have a huge chip on their shoulder about going mainstream so IOC approval would result in a proper shitstorm.

[Pepe]

Really? I think everyone would love it. I didn't see any complaints about the Intel tournaments.

[Shindig]

Maybe they've matured over the years but I think Olympic recognition would knock a few noses out of joint.

[Pepe]

I bet most would appreciate the extra money.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Kata is absolute bobbins.

[Lofty]

I really don't care for most of the olympics but the climbing is excellent.

[Ian]

Kata is absolute bobbins.

I was surprised to see it'd even got in. It's just dressage for karate. But without the x factor of a massive stupid jumpy animal involved.

[Dave.]

Kata is completely awesome you heathens.

[Ian]

It's not.

[Dave.]

It's not.

I guess I appreciate it more because I've done karate to a reasonable standard and specialised in kata. For me, it's great to see it in the Olympics.

[Ian]

I did karate for years as a kid and doing kata for grading or whatever they called the exams just didn't excite me.

I can appreciate the control required to do it properly I just have zero interest in watching it and I have my doubts whether it ought to be an event in the Olympics.

[Baz]

TTH outing itself as a former junior karate dojo.

Let’s start a gofundme to buy Red Triangle in Liverpool.

[Spikey M]

Nothing artistic should be at the Olympics.

Or anywhere at all, ideally. Load of shite.

[Jimmy Floyd]

My rule is that anything involving judges should go. Unfortunately that means the end of boxing, how sad.

[Yevrah]

Gymnastics feels like it should be at the Olympics.

[Ian]

Yeah I dunno that I'd rule out judges altogether. Though I have spent a fair bit of time this Olympics thinking about what I think the rules should be to determine if something should or shouldn't be an Olympic sport. I remain unconvinced about shooting and archery.

[Yevrah]

Horsing definitely needs to go. Those people have already won at life.

[Jimmy Floyd]

They'd tell you they (the riders) are not rich but just from the countryside or whatever.

[Jimmy Floyd]

OK, I'll change my mind.

'Could you use the sport in a theoretical prison escape?'

Anything that isn't a yes has to go.

[Yevrah]

In the same way that every farmer you meet will tell you they aren’t rich? They’re just smart with their money and it’s all tied up working for them.

[Yevrah]

OK, I'll change my mind.

'Could you use the sport in a theoretical prison escape?'

Anything that isn't a yes has to go.

Does that bring snooker into the fold? Balls in a sock to cosh a guard with?

[Jimmy Floyd]

Does that bring snooker into the fold? Balls in a sock to cosh a guard with?

Don't think a good cue action helps you get out of Colditz.

Athletics, swimming, gymnastics, shooting, archery, martial arts, boxing, triathlon all stay. Equestrian - we'll keep cross country and showjumping, but I think a round of dressage is likely to slow you down.

[Ian]

Your rule keeps horsing in and is therefore incorrect.

It's also basically how that fella claims he invented modern pentathlon.

If we're going to base this on film/literature scenarios it should be the works of Arnold Schwarzenegger, in which case horsing would have to include an event for a man on a horse chasing a man on a motorbike, including the bit in the lift.

[niko_cee]

Are you proposing some sort of equestrian version of the Keirin?

[Yevrah]

Now if horsing involved what Van Damme does in Hard Target I’d be in.

[Ian]

With obstacles, trench coats and a much lesser regard for the wellbeing of the little fella on the motorbike. In that you're trying to bring him to justice.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It was only the other day I discovered we won Town Planning gold at the 1932 Olympics, so if anything we should be more open minded. Horsing stays.

[John Arne]

Futsal should deffo be an Olympic sport. Breakdancing, not so much.

[Dave.]

Let's have darts and snooker (or pool maybe) in the Olympics and have them in a Wetherspoons style pub.

[Dave.]

It was only the other day I discovered we won Town Planning gold at the 1932 Olympics, so if anything we should be more open minded. Horsing stays.

Town Planning.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Snooker would be a good Olympic sport, to be fair. What would you have, a 32 man knockout with max 3 per country. Using the world rankings that gets me to:

Trump, Selby, O'Sullivan (GB)
Robertson (Aus)
Ding, Yan, Zhou (China)
Un-Nooh, Saengkham, Akani (Thailand)
Doherty, O'Brien, Hill (Ireland)

And then qualifiers from Switzerland, Iran, Belgium, Jamaica, Germany, Pakistan, Ukraine, Hong Kong, Brazil, Norway, Finland... that's as international as half the sports on there. Bit top-heavy, but there are about 8 sports that China win without even trying, so who cares.

[Ian]

You were saying the other about people looking miserable because they "only" get a silver. Do you really want Ronnie O'Sullivan moping about with a gold like a cunt, bitching about how nobody's as good as him?

[Dave.]

You were saying the other about people looking miserable because they "only" get a silver. Do you really want Ronnie O'Sullivan moping about with a gold like a cunt, bitching about how nobody's as good as him?

To be fair, that would be pretty hilarious.

Maybe we could have snooker pairs in the Olympics and make him team up with Mark Selby?

[Manc]

This German lass having a mental breakdown on the horse is superb viewing.

[Ian]

Either Selby or one of the no-mark youths he loves to moan about so much.

[Manc]

Laser Run disappointingly does not involve athletes running through lasers.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Modern pentathlon gold? How have we managed that?

It seems we're good all rounders, anything that involves depth / mixing genders / being a general jack of all trades we seem to dominate. Anything where the Chinese can hothouse one person, not so much.

[Disco]

Modern pentathlon is the one that has shooting, horsing, and swording isn't it? Another one for the public school brigade.