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Thread: Hoover

  1. #1
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Hoover

    In desperate need and the market is absolutely bursting with every variation under the sun. Is opting for a pricey cordless a mug's game? Do I need 99 different nozzles? Is securing a Henry overkill?

    Help.

  2. #2
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I went all out and bought a top of the range Dyson last year and it's brilliant. Cordless is definitely the way forward, and has made me less lazy about hoovering. So easy to grab it off the wall and give it a quick run around without having to mess around finding a plug, constantly moving the cord out of the way, etc.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I 'secured' a Henry when I moved into my flat, and have never regretted it. I even talk to him sometimes.

  4. #4
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I pondered this very same problem 6 months ago. Went cheapest at Tesco and I can't for the life of me imagine the point in anything better unless you're obese or live in a mansion and need to empty it during sessions.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hoover-Whir.../dp/B018ERAROY

  5. #5
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Henry is a cunt.

    Cordless Dyson's are quality though.

  6. #6
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    I pondered this very same problem 6 months ago. Went cheapest at Tesco and I can't for the life of me imagine the point in anything better unless you're obese or live in a mansion and need to empty it during sessions.

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hoover-Whir.../dp/B018ERAROY
    I was going to say this. It's not the nineties. Everything is pretty good now, and if it dies in two years then you can buy another one.

  7. #7
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Brought to you by my four quid kettle.

  8. #8
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Miele seemed the most highly recommend brand when we got ours a year or so ago. It's been great.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    If you want something that does the job and doesn't break the bank, get a Henry. If you want the best, get a Shark. Dysons are absolutely wank, was gifted a cordless one the bastard didn't even manage hoovering up a spider the other day

  10. #10
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's probably full of crap and hair.

  11. #11
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    If you don't want to spend much, you're better off getting a Shark than a low-end Dyson. But the top range Dysons are beasts.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I bought some Vax cordless thing a while ago. It's decent but the battery doesn't last long enough for a proper thorough clean.

  13. #13
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    We have a corded Hetty (female version of Henry) and we hate it. An army tank would be more manoeuvrable than that thing. Avoid at all costs IMO.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Hetty has wider hips so can't get through some doors. Henry is a lithe, agile chap. Admittedly hoovering the stairs with him is like trying to do foreplay with an adult hippopotamus, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's probably full of crap and hair.
    Clean as a whistle, just dogshit suction. I have a Henry in the shed, relegated to cobwebs and building waste clean up. Her mum gave us her old Miele when she got a shark, it's decent enough but pricey new. We got the Dyson cordless given and it is comfortably the worst of the three by a distance, if it were up to me I'd bin the fucker.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Just hire someone to do the cleaning for you.

  17. #17
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    We have a Shark (Duo I think) and it's great as hoovers go.

  18. #18
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    100% agree with SVN on a Dyson. We have the Animal+ (corded upright one) to use on the rugs/furniture and its amazing. We also have the smaller less powerful handheld for quick things.

    For normal everyday cleaning we have a Roomba that we have run 3/4 times a week. Its a few years old but was the peak on when we bought it. A new one of those will be on the agenda in the next few years.

  19. #19
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's probably full of crap and hair.
    These mans are using cordless [because locating a plug in their own household is difficult ofc], they ain't blessed with our might.

  20. #20
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    If you want something that does the job and doesn't break the bank, get a Henry. If you want the best, get a Shark. Dysons are absolutely wank, was gifted a cordless one the bastard didn't even manage hoovering up a spider the other day
    I tested a Shark a couple of months ago and it had no suction. Wouldn't pick anything up.

  21. #21
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    100% agree with SVN on a Dyson. We have the Animal+ (corded upright one) to use on the rugs/furniture and its amazing. We also have the smaller less powerful handheld for quick things.

    For normal everyday cleaning we have a Roomba that we have run 3/4 times a week. Its a few years old but was the peak on when we bought it. A new one of those will be on the agenda in the next few years.
    With Ipod attached I hope?

  22. #22
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    We usually have a cat attached to the Roomba. He loves to kick it off its stand and take it for a spin.

    Surprised its lasted this long tbh. He is a ragdoll so not exactly small.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We're getting old lads.

  24. #24
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Yeah, this is some depressing shit.

    Fancy Dyson thing here. It's alright, but I secretly suspect all hoovers are pretty useless, particularly when it comes to hard floors.

  25. #25
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Bought a fancy Dyson, battery fucked in less than two years and apparently a very common problem. Avoid.

    Vax are good enough that they do enough of a job despite not having a MICROPROCESSOR and DIGITAL MOTOR but cheap enough that you can replace without being bothered.
    Last edited by Giggles; 05-01-2021 at 04:47 PM.

  26. #26
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I've decided cordless is the way to go. Either of the Dyson V7 Animal or Vax Blade 4.

  27. #27
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The suction didn't seem great on the v7 when I tested it out.

  28. #28
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    i am wanking as i read this thread

  29. #29
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    i am wanking as i read this thread
    Toggle Spoiler

  30. #30
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    The suction didn't seem great on the v7 when I tested it out.
    Are you rocking a V11?

  31. #31
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    I have some Argos thing that's actually not bad but want to upgrade to a cordless soon. Also a Roomba thing is on the list.

  32. #32
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Are you rocking a V11?
    I am. I wanted to make sure I bought something that got the dog hair, and it handles it no problem. We've had it a year so far, and the only problem we've had was a blockage caused by random debris that comes in with the pram.

  33. #33
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Another vote for the dependable Henry.

    The battery on cordless Dysons is shit and will be the first thing to go, the cheapo things are fine for a bit but they lose power quite quickly and you end up wondering if you've actually hoovered at all.

  34. #34
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I tested a Shark a couple of months ago and it had no suction. Wouldn't pick anything up.
    Fair enough though that's the first I've ever heard of it, in my apparent part time hobby as hoover enthusiast.

  35. #35
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Reddit reckons the Sharks all die as soon as the warranty runs out.

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