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Thread: Footballers that don't look like footballers

  1. #1
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Footballers that don't look like footballers

    Sponsored by Nathaniel Phillips


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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Peter Crouch barely looks like a human being, nonetheless a footballer.

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    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    This is just going to turn into Giggles and Luca posting female footballers and upsetting Phonics.

  5. #5
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    I knew who this was going to be inspired by before even opening the thread.

    He also doesn’t play like a footballer either.

  6. #6
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    This is just going to turn into Giggles and Luca posting female footballers and upsetting Phonics.
    I posted Luke Shaw, so close enough, really.

    How did I get lumped in with Giggles in all of this?

  7. #7
    I used to be funny.
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    Do Matt Le Tissier and Peter Beardsley count? I don't see them as playing professional sport for a living.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My main conclusion while researching this 5/10 post was how much 99% of footballers really do look exactly like footballers.

    Scott McTominay looks like something that isn't a footballer, but I'm not sure what. I get World War II vibes from him - I think he may have been either the victim or perpetrator of a truly terrible atrocity somewhere on the eastern front.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Highlighted quite remarkably when the stereotypical footballer plays on the opposite wing.
    Last edited by Baz; 30-12-2020 at 10:16 PM.
    I'm a twit

  10. #10
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Scott could have played the leading role in Sam Mendes’ 1917.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Targett is a good one. Matt from accounts.

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    Jim's post.

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    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Highlighted quite remarkably when the stereotypical footballer plays on the opposite wing.
    Disagree here. If anything, Clive, he looks too much like a footballer.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Alisson is dreamy.

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    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Trifon Ivanov.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He's got skin like a meth addict.

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    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Alisson is dreamy.

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    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    It's for Baz to decide who needs to be outed.

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    Fuck like you cook.
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    Charlie Adam.

    Looks more like a bricklayer who gets ripped all day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Jim's post.
    He has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of them

    Quote Originally Posted by Spammer View Post
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    Without cheating... Allan Cork right?

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    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    I enjoy players like John McGinn and Adama Traore who really should be on the rugby field instead.

  23. #23
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    John McGinn is the personification of "wee guy".

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    Dario Hubner, ice-cream man in Newport.

  25. #25
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Why am I getting tarred with the same brush as Luca?

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    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Poncy food pics.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Dan James should be a TikTok star.

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    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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  29. #29
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Nah, that's a classic shit footballer barnet.

  30. #30
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    No one looks more like a footballer than Jack Grealish.

  31. #31
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Grealish’s haircut is up there among the best

  32. #32
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    He has footballers hair, which is like saying someone dresses like a wrestler.

  33. #33
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He was never one of us. That’s too fine a mane and too English a face.

  34. #34
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Don't fucking crop the best bit

  35. #35
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Zlatan is the most footballesque footballer that ever footballed. Grealish is an Englishman-at-an-Aussie-hostel LAD.

  36. #36
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    He's either a greased-up club promoter in Wigan
    How did a Canadian get this description so spot on?
    I'm a twit

  37. #37
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Grealish’s haircut is up there among the best
    Always makes me think of A Bug's Life.


  38. #38
    Senior Member The Merse's Avatar
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    I could reel off a list from the 90s but surely Julian Dicks was the most unlikely, and seemed to a bouncer at every club in the midlands in the noughties.


  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    He has nailed it tbf. Cant argue with any of them



    Without cheating... Allan Cork right?
    Aye it is

  40. #40
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    That lad with the long hair who either played for Man City reserves or their New York outfit who went viral. Can't remember his name so a search was fruitless. He looked like the washboard operator in a skiffle band.

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    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Oh yes. Tommy McNamara


  42. #42
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:


  43. #43
    Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuno Reg's Avatar
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    The great Guy Butters:



    Although having seen the above picture.

  44. #44
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Tommy McNamara is a dream team player.

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    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Guy Butters might not look like a footballer, but he does look exactly like his name.

  46. #46
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    He looks more like a footballer there, I was thinking of this picture:

    He's the son of the bassist of an old metal band, now standing in for his father because he's too old / ill / dead to tour any more.

  47. #47
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    His body looks weirdly long, I don't like it.

  48. #48
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    He's like the bastard love child of Legolas and whatever the dwarf is called.

  49. #49
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Taz?

  50. #50
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    If someone told me this was a female Canadian 50m breast stroke bronze medalist, I wouldn’t immediately doubt it.

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    I'm a twit

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