Thinking about this, it's probably one of the best measures we have to gauge when we've successfully navigated this wonderful period of our lives, as I can't think of anything that'll be kept closed longer than clubs.

Now clubs are awful, but in the spirit of competition I'm offering a prize to whoever gets closest to the date. To clarify, this date must be when all clubs in England* are allowed to open permanently and not a trial period for a select few.

*Scotland and Wales will obviously only allow this after we have and with enough of a time gap to give the impression they're better at handling their own affairs (they may well be btw, I don't care).

The prize will be a night out with Don, with £200 of 'fun tokens' in your pocket to enjoy all that goes on in these hell holes. I haven't consulted with Don about this, but I'm sure he's up for it. He likes clubs, right? Travel will need to be included in that £200, so if you live abroad, well, it's a harsh world and you can have the £200 if you make it to the club destination of Don's choosing - I'm assuming some side street in London.

Entry is free and my decision is final. Only decision really is what constitutes permanently open, but given hell may freeze over before that happens it'll hopefully be pretty clear when it does.