Right, I've started this so let's get a proper fred on the go and share our misfortunes. I know Phonics is playing a bit and I'd be surprised if Disco doesn't. We may even lure Cord back to regale us with tales of tunnel wenches he's impregnated.

Anyway, as the classic starter point in the last game was Ireland I've decided to go as far away from that as possible. Myanmar it is!

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The light white-highlighted bit on the left is my starting point, the Duchy of Pagan, playing as this excellently-hatted gentleman:
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He is fickle, gregarious and gluttonous so I find him very relatable.

And the goal? Well let's do a possibly-realistic one and a I'm-probably-too-shit-to-make-this-happen one. First off is trying to reunite the Pagan Kingdom (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pagan_Kingdom), the less likely one? The entire Bengal Empire....
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So I began, as all good CK saves should, by trying to fabricate some claims. Well, what I actually did was sort out my council and whatnot, but after all the admin was done I THEN started trying to fabricate some claims on my neighbour to the North who has just the two counties. A good starting point, I feel. The first year or so were very quiet. I found a new wife, had a daughter, got my existing son/heir some education and life was peaceful but boring. Then I realised that with my super high diplomacy stat.... well, could I just ask this guy if he wants to be my vassal? If he likes me enough then maybe and I'm going to be getting diplomacy perks so maybe there's a chance I don't have to use these claims. I'd need to hire soldiers to do it as our realms have similar military strength.

I begin a scheme to get this lad to like me more and then by chance (ish, I think it's because I'm a diplomacy wank) I get the chance to invite a neighbouring ruler for a court visit. And who should one of the options be but Count Maha Thanbawa, the man whose land I'm determined to take by hook or by crook? Excellent, let's bring him over.

What's that, game? He's immediately turned up and tried to Indecent Proposal me???
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Alright maybe I don't feel so bad about my own schemes for this guy. The missus won't be chuffed if I say yes to this and the multi-event court visit had gone well so far so I said no and hoped he wouldn't flounce off. I didn't have the intrigue skills to try and listen in so I just rebuffed him and we got on with the rest of the visit which went really well. I paid him empty compliments and showed him the gardens and whatnot and everybody had a lovely time and his opinion of me went up a good whack and while he won't accept vassalage YET he's less against the idea now.

Only catch is that I took ill during this visit, so I had my court send for a physician and.... well....
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So as you can see, one of my options is a man wearing only a leaf, who the game identifies as a treacherous villain and when I click onto him he also has the traits Arbitrary and Sadist. Who the fuck suggested this guy?

Obviously I took the other one and was initially wondering whether I'd have been better entrusting my future wellbeing to the sadist when she suggested treating me by putting a toad on my chest. But it worked! I AM HEALTHY AND INVINCIBLE. So I am continuing my efforts to steal this fellow's lands or make him my subject and bring his lands with him and because I'm such a smooth-talking, sweet-hatted motherfucker it's going well so far. I can't wait to become best friends just so I can ask if he fancies me as his ruler. I'm sure that won't hurt his feelings at all.

I also seem to have ended up with a half-decent heir, in no small part because the wife I chose seemed to end up being an excellent tutor for him for reasons I don't understand and it wasn't intentional. He's also come of age and immediately looks like he's readying himself for war, which given my track record in these games is probably wise:

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