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Thread: Eurovision 2021

  1. #1
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Eurovision 2021

    It's Eurovision week. Semis are tonight and Thursday, final Saturday. I'll cross post my post from the betting thread with links to rehearsal clips and some of the betting chat snipped out.

    Big five:
    Toggle Spoiler


    Semi 1
    Toggle Spoiler


    Semi 2
    Toggle Spoiler
    Last edited by -james-; 18-05-2021 at 10:06 AM.

  2. #2
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    James Newman's been on the pies, eh.

  3. #3
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    The production value of the UK entry is tragic compared to some others. I have no idea why they bother.

  4. #4
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I assume there must be some benefit to being in it but it's been clear for years we don't want to actually win it. Like when Ireland entered the turkey or whatever it was.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Cyprus bangs.

    I like Switzerland and Finland too.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Listened to about half of them last night, am all in on Ukraine. France have a very good song but surely the people won't vote for something so nakedly French? No one likes the French.

    Denmark should be dissolved in acid, as should Poland.

  7. #7
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I assume there must be some benefit to being in it but it's been clear for years we don't want to actually win it. Like when Ireland entered the turkey or whatever it was.
    I imagine it started off as the clout of "sure, we'll fund your silly little singing contest" and now they can't get out of it.

    They've had the odd passable song in the past decade but nothing that has been remotely engaging on stage. An example being 2019 where they bought a John Lundvik song, who himself entered the contest for Sweden and came fourth. We entered a binman in a River Island jacket and came 25th.

  8. #8
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Obviously this was a long time ago but I'm sure when Ireland won/hosted a few on the spin they basically decided that hosting it didn't bring in enough money to be worth the hassle of winning it. It wouldn't surprise me, given the state of some of our entries, if we had much the same attitude.

    Still, we'll always have Katrina and the Waves.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We last won with Katrina and the Waves in, wait for it, 1997. I'm pretty sure all our winning entries before that had some fun and life about them rather than the series of - what, twenty? - droids we have put out in the last couple of decades.

    Bucks Fizz. M-m-m-making your mind up. Really works in a Smashy and Nicey style DJ voice.

  10. #10
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Apparently since Katrina and the Waves we came third with somebody called Jessica Garlick, which I do not remember at all and I still probably normally saw Eurovision at that time.

  11. #11
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Most of the countries that really want to win (Malta, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria etc.) have delegations that get given pots of money to make them look hip and cool (cough buy votes cough). The other countries that regularly do well (Italy, Sweden, Russia) do so because they have national singing competitions that are a big deal in their own right, or a head honcho with their finger on the pulse. We have no need for the former and definitely don't have the latter.

    I've thought for a while that the UK literally just need to hire A.G. Cook and get some hyperpop zoomer to perform, it's such a perfect fit and they'd probably be up for it. But yeah, why bother?

  12. #12
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Actually it makes perfect sense that the Cyprus outright price is a result of them chucking twenty grand into Betfair to put them "into contention".

  13. #13
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The Cyprus song is a banger. It sounds a bit like a Lady Gaga song.

  14. #14
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Yeah the chorus is basically exactly the same as Bad Romance. Sort of thing the jury should very easily be punishing.

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    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Lithuania is where it's at.

  16. #16
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I was talking shit, there are zero universes in which Ireland qualify.

  17. #17
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm a big fan of the Iceland entry (although it's not as good as the one they were going to use last year) but it's not a Eurovision song.

  18. #18
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Yeah. It's hard to remember an act with this much pre event sympathy, one of them tested positive yesterday so they're just showing one of the rehearsals in the semi & final. Will be interesting to see what that's worth in any case (I suspect very little).

  19. #19
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    Iceland were good.

    I didn’t pay much attention on Tuesday, but from the few I did see Cyprus and Lithuania were proper Eurovision songs.

  20. #20
    Now in technicolor Pen's Avatar
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    These shit ballads should result in a one year ban.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Any market movers? @-james-

  22. #22
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    My gambles on Bulgaria and Greece have flopped. Prices are all over the place and I'd be lying if I said I had a clue how it'll settle. Ukraine have been given a great slot in the running order for the final which suggests they may have won their semi. I still don't buy them as contenders.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Listen, James, it's not too late to board the Ukraine train. Folk-trance with rusty tractor vibes is the sound of 2021.

  24. #24
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Tomorrow is all about that three minutes where Serbia are on the stage. How three women with the same plastic surgeon have managed to elevate a piece of Pussycat Dolls pastiche to these levels I'll never know.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Perhaps after this success they will be able to afford a full costume each.

    Jeez, that key change is not good.

  26. #26
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Surely Italy will walk it with that spot in the schedule.

  27. #27
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Yeah they've been done a huge favour. Televote winner seems almost a given.

  28. #28
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Never doing a write-up before the semi finals again.

    France or Italy should win. I'm primarily on France in the betting but hope to even it out at some point. One of Ukraine/Malta/Swiss might challenge. More aboard the Ukraine train now, they're #doing insane #numbers on the #socials.

    Here is my incredibly autistically compiled prediction:

    Toggle Spoiler

  29. #29
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    lol at Flo Rida actually coming along for fucking San Marino.

  30. #30
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Not keen on the Israel entry.

  31. #31
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Well this is a weird start.

  32. #32
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I’ve only just realised this was on tonight. Is our act as shit as we normally are?

  33. #33
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Russia.

  34. #34
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That's my favourite so far which is strange as I wasn't that keen on the little snippet in the OP.

  35. #35
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    It was fine till she left the dress.

  36. #36
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I caught act 1 and the level of the Cypriot gash along with this thread has me invested. All complete shite so far with the ethnic cleansers being particularly bad. Belgium was so dull.

  37. #37
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    I caught act 1 and the level of the Cypriot gash along with this thread has me invested. All complete shite so far with the ethnic cleansers being particularly bad. Belgium was so dull.
    I instantly forgot about the Belgian song, there was absolutely nothing to it.

  38. #38
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    I know the Cypriot woman was talking about some bloke called Diablo but I was distracted by her hips and arse mostly.

  39. #39
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Since when did Malta sign up Little Mix?

  40. #40
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Malta has a MASSIVE voice (not just the voice) but I'm not a fan of the song.

  41. #41
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    This Maltese sea mammal Lizzo tribute act would have done numbers if she had more sass. You're smiling too much, love.

  42. #42
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That was horseshit from Portugal.

  43. #43
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    We might have a winner on our hands.

  44. #44
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Actually scratch that.

    Give it to Serbia.

  45. #45
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    This blonde Serbian gash is out of this world.

  46. #46
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I was meant to go to Belgrade pre-pandemic and it got postponed. Fucking need to book that up ASAP

  47. #47
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Why do we even bother sending acts?

  48. #48
    Senior Member Pleb's Avatar
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    Why do we bother.

    Out the way Mahow.

  49. #49
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    That was Butlins Redcoat-esque.

  50. #50
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I need to cop me whatever that upper body garment is.

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