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View Poll Results: Which will be the game of the month?

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  • Real Oviedo v Mirandes

    0 0%
  • Rosenborg v Valerenga

    0 0%
  • Napoli v Roma

    1 33.33%
  • AFC Bournemouth v Leicester City

    1 33.33%
  • Krylya Sovetov v PFC Sochi

    1 33.33%
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Thread: July Football: Five games

  1. #1201
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Someone with muscles. Probably Ross Barkley

  2. #1202
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Deffo not Ross Barkley, with his Nigerian roots.
    I'm a twit

  3. #1203
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Kevin De Bruyne. He's translucent, pudgy, and his technique can only be the result of there being no friction/interference between his active and standing legs, as well as nothing throwing his balance/centring off. I would go as far as to speculate that he has some sort of deformity or micropenis.

  4. #1204
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    He's not in the Premier League, but everything about Cristiano Ronaldo screams over-compensation. Especially the way he stands before a free kick. Didn't he have a kid by turkey baster as well?

  5. #1205
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Messi is a manlet too, actually. And he was pumped full of steroids as a kid. He might actually have an inny.

  6. #1206
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Messi's low politicking ways certainly suggest it. If it were otherwise, he'd have stormed out and gone to PSG a while ago.

  7. #1207
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Roy Keane obviously has a micropenis

  8. #1208
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I love that Leeds' plan to disperse the crowds outside Elland Road was to have an open top bus parade.

  9. #1209
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Frank has won everything in the game (except the World Cup, Euros, World Club Cup and the European Super Cup), I would listen to what he has to say.
    Let me guess it went:

    Serious point, light-hearted aside, but actually serious point again.

  10. #1210
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    It's hard to judge though, I know the common parlance about big dick energy but then I once worked with a guy hung like a horse who was the wettest blanket ever, always dressed in beige and was one of those geezers who constantly buys stuff from TK Maxx and then returns it. His Mrs cheated on him too.
    Last edited by Lofty; 23-07-2020 at 01:22 PM.

  11. #1211
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Lucas Moura heads up the non-caucasian market.

  12. #1212
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    It's hard to judge though, I know the common parlance about big dick energy but then I once worked with a guy hung like a horse who was the wettest blanket ever, always dressed in beige and was one of those geezers who constantly buys stuff from TK Maxx and then returns it. His Mrs cheated on him too.
    My friend knows someone with a twelve inch cock and by all accounts it just hurts people. The only use he has for it is meeting weirdos off the internet who want to wank him off.

  13. #1213
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is that how your 'friend' met him?

  14. #1214
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They're in the Navy together, which is why I trust his eyewitness account of it.

  15. #1215
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    How much does it hurt 'your friend'?

  16. #1216
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The only recourse if you are in that position is to spend the rest of your days getting paid to force it up women's arses on camera.

  17. #1217
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I can confirm it's a difficult burden.

  18. #1218
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I want us to retire 40 but they'll never listen.

    40
    Jamal Blackman Goalkeepers (18/19), Henrique Hilário Goalkeepers (06/07 - 13/14), Lucas Piazón (12/13), Lenny Pidgeley Goalkeepers (02/03 - 05/06),

  19. #1219
    I used to be funny.
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    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...yside-53521596

    Every time, without fail, this happens as soon as Liverpool win a trophy.

  20. #1220
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The need to booby trap their gaffs every time there's a presentation.

  21. #1221
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Lovable rogues.


  22. #1222
    I used to be funny.
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    Oof. That's legitimately ugly.

  23. #1223
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The video managing to keep that billboard quote in shot for almost all of it is magic.

  24. #1224
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Is there something in the audio or is it just some plebs fighting in the street?

  25. #1225
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The latter. And a shit one too. This is Liverpool fam, most dangerous motherfuckers in the country, I want gunshots ffs.

  26. #1226
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'Hendo' winning the FWA Footballer of the Year is a bit NARRATIVE when they are normally less susceptible to the sort of wankvoting that won Ryan Giggs the PFA award that time. The Premier League Player of the Season is the one that gets it right, which says a lot when they ask exactly who the fuck knows.

  27. #1227
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They gave it to Sterling last year, they're all about the narrative.

  28. #1228
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Scott Parker in 2011 as well. All though fuck knows what the narrative actually was there beyond him being a decent pro in a side that escaped relegation despite being managed by Avram Grant.

  29. #1229
    Senior Member Vercetti's Avatar
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    We didn't even manage that much.

  30. #1230
    Senior Member Max Power's Avatar
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    Oh god they came bottom wtf?

  31. #1231
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The only award with any integrity left is Jose Mourinho's Manager's Player of the Year.

  32. #1232
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    It's clearly the Brendan Rodgers Envelope Award.

  33. #1233
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The John Terry Captain, Leader, Legend of the year award.

  34. #1234
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    That's a bit different because the winner is always John Terry.

  35. #1235
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    That's a bit different because the winner is always John Terry.
    That’s just life.

  36. #1236
    I used to be funny.
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    "Thanks, John. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank John."

  37. #1237
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Mbappe’s ankle looked a bit bad.
    I'm a twit

  38. #1238
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    SFB disappearing into the Proper Football Man abyss with all this talk of 'the touchline code'.

    Good that he's trying to bring dislikeable Chelsea back though, I was beginning to soften on them.

  39. #1239
    I used to be funny.
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    I like how everyone trampled over Mbappe in their haste to defend him.

  40. #1240
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    These are great.

  41. #1241
    I used to be funny.
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    Ends on a banger.

  42. #1242
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Lampard is the best

  43. #1243
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    If Chelsea and wolves both win European comps and united finish 4th, United won’t qualify for the champions league

    Is that correct?
    I'm a twit

  44. #1244
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Yep, you can't have 6 teams in the Champions League. But there's as absolutely zero chance of that happening.

  45. #1245
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Chelsea would also have to finish outside the top 4 in that scenario (Leicester 3rd).

    But yeah, just the casual 0-3 deficit to overturn in Munich. Not happening. Wolves (or United if they finish 5th) winning the UEFA Cup is the best case scenario for English football, probably United as they'll be better positioned to take advantage of the seeding boost.

  46. #1246
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Incidentally I find all of today's games being at 4 to be quite annoying. Should be 2 or 3.

  47. #1247
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, I think the traditional Sunday finish is normally 3pm. But ... y'know, unprecedented times and all that.

  48. #1248
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Fairly sure that City today are the shortest price a premier league team has ever gone off at. How did the reverse game go again?

  49. #1249
    Senior Member Vercetti's Avatar
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    Didn't Norwich turn them over?

    Back when people thought Pukki was a player?

  50. #1250
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    I think that might have been rhetorical, but yeah, City were a shambles. A portent of things to come.

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