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Thread: Pick an XI if money wasn't an object

  1. #1
    I used to be funny.
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    Pick an XI if money wasn't an object

    The talk of Newcastle's takeover has got me thinking. Inevitably, you get paper chatter and pub (I guess it's zoom now) conversations about what they're going in for and who they should. So, if your club had rich benefactors with more money than sense, what XI would you bring in. What would you mould in your own image based on who's currently active?

    For me, I want a team that has character. I don't want a bunch of Gallacticos and would rather try to gather some guys that have a hunger. I want flair which sometimes leads to nothing.

    Goalkeeper: Keylor Navas
    Probably the last goalkeeper that really impressed me on a big stage. Admittedly, that big stage was 6 years ago but he just looked so assured and the kind of guy that kept you in matches you have no right to be competing in.

    Full Backs Trent Alexander-Arnold, Andy Robertson
    I like attacking full backs and these two need to come as a package deal. They've both got a good eye for a pass and have the pace to track back whenever they're caught out. At times, they hoof it about like quarter backs and I love that.

    Centre Backs Fabien Schar, David Luiz
    Yeah, defenders that do their job don't get noticed. Two lads like these that bomb forward are fun to watch. Schar seems the more disciplined but I just love how he creeps forward like Phillipe Albert used to do.

    Defensive Mid Yaya Toure
    Hey, I thought he'd retired but apparently he plays in China. He's probably not the marauding box-to-box beast he used to be but I'll happily take him.

    Wingers Gareth Bale, Allan Saint-Maximim
    It does appear Bale's at the top of the paper chatter when it comes to our Saudi Overlords splashing the cash. I love the guy and it's a shame his Madrid tenure's been so tempestuous. Definitely cleverer than Allan on the other flank. The Frenchman's got more pace than sense at times but that's what I liked about Sammy Ameobi. Run like hell and then have no idea what to do with his legs once the goal's in sight. Top stuff.

    Attacking Mid Kevin de Bruyne
    Y'know, I was trying to think of a goalscoring option but I honestly couldn't think of one I genuinely liked. I know Hazard fits the bill but I just don't get that excited by him. Kevin gets his head down and can create plenty. And he'll always look about 16 so he's not going to go rogue on you.

    Strikers Son Heung-Min, Erling Haaland
    Two unassuming lads with the world at their feet or whatever. I really, really like Son's willingness to run and take people on. The Champions League final for Spurs was a bit of a waste but Son was still running and trying to make things from nothing. Erling's in there for his interviews. I love how he hates them.

    Alright, over to you.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Sandcastle.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Is winning not an object either with that side?

  4. #4
    I used to be funny.
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    Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot there was a proven, cast-iron blueprint for success that all sides follow. All sides like Birmingham, Wigan, Swansea, Greece, Leicester, Portsmouth, Middlesbrough, etc have definitely followed.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    If money is no object why are you picking clowns like Sideshow Bob?

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    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Or a ninety five year old Yaya Toure who's been done since he was sixty.

  7. #7
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    If money is no object why are you picking clowns like Sideshow Bob?
    Because I've been watching a circus all my life.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    GK Boubacar Barry

    RB Mr Greedy
    LB Dominic Cummings
    CB 'Brum', the small car from the eponymous kids' show
    CB Stan Collymore

    RM Lady One Question
    LM Notah Begay III
    CM Sven-Goran Eriksson
    CM Mr Creosote

    ST Elvis Cridlington
    ST Ray Parlour

  9. #9
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm not sure Dom's comfortable on the left.

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    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    His references are a bit more upto date that you thought @Jimmy Floyd. Not much more, but a bit.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    If money is no option you just buy Fellaini and then pay scientists to work out human cloning.

  12. #12
    I used to be funny.
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    I was thinking about including him. First name on the sub bench, if I'm honest. It's where he's at the peak of his powers.

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    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    If money is no option you just buy Fellaini and then pay scientists to work out human cloning.
    You mean John O'Shea, but I'll excuse the transgression.

  14. #14
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post
    You mean John O'Shea, but I'll excuse the transgression.
    He's getting on a bit now sadly.

    Although surely the unlimited money could be put towards some sort of de-ageing machine or immortality.

  15. #15
    I used to be funny.
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    Or bribing the opposition. Colour me shocked but this hasn't gone as I'd hoped. I took the exercise as a "Hmmm ... who would I like to see play for us?" rather than "Who would I buy to win things here and now." Let's be honest, unless you're in France or Scotland, infinite money's not going to have that kind of immediate effect. Especially in the Premier League where there's 4-5 other clubs with that clout. It took City and Chelsea years to get there with a lot of players and managers.

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    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Maybe you should have done ‘who could Newcastle realistically buy now they have a big bag of cash’
    Like no way you’ll be signing Trent or Robertson for a start.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I reckon John Baseball would take Ł300 million for the pair.

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    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Alisson
    Trent
    VvD
    De Ligt
    Robinson
    Fabinho
    Henderson
    Kante
    Ronaldo
    Mbappe
    Mane
    I'm a twit

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    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Based on my own limited football knowledge

    Goalie - Oblak
    RB- Alexander Arnold
    CB - van Dijk
    CB - Ramos
    LB - Robertson

    CM - Bruno
    CM - De Bruyne
    CM - Kante

    CF - Mbappe
    CF - Aguero
    CF - Haaland

  20. #20
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Nobody wants Messi in there?

  21. #21
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Khashoggi's widow is in tears as we speak at the state of this thread. Get the fuck into League One in 5 years, you cunts.

  22. #22
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Yaya is only a good pick if you can get some dreamy sleepy nighty snooze snooze, a wheelchair and some fake arms for Brucie.

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    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    This is only for active players so i need to give it some thought

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    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    I like the players who are fighters. Run all game and give 100%. I don't really like flair as much as I used too.

    GK - Manuel Neuer. There are not many mad goalkeepers around anymore. Lehmann, Barry, Kamebi, etc. Nuts

    RB - Wan Bissaka - Every time I see this guy, he is winning the ball via a sliding tackle. A lost art.

    CB - Sergio Ramos - Complete scumbag

    CB - ????

    LB - Alphonso Davies - Watched german football more over the past few years and Davies as LB is brilliant to watch.

    CM - Ngolo Kante. No idea how a club hasn't bought him for Ł200m

    CM - Radja Nainggolan. Because.
    https://youtu.be/e6U92vtYh1k

    CM - KDB. What a beast.

    RW - Adama Troare. Shocking end product but ive never seen a player like him in my life.

    LW. Mane.

    ST - Messi

  25. #25
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Khashoggi's widow is in tears as we speak at the state of this thread. Get the fuck into League One in 5 years, you cunts.
    I mean, I can only hope. At this rate, that's the only way we get guaranteed derbies. At League 1 ticket prices, nonetheless.

  26. #26
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Sincere picking The Curse is one of the biggest U-turns I’ve ever seen.
    I'm a twit

  27. #27
    I used to be funny.
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    Actually, I'd swap David Luiz out for Virgil in a heartbeat. I don't remember footballers good.

  28. #28
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I mean I'm sure he could put himself about a bit but Million Dollar Champion or not I'd possibly keep Luiz in ahead of him.

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