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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #23951
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Pissed blood last night lads. Related?

  2. #23952
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  3. #23953
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    Not my toilet FYI.

  4. #23954
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Definitely need a visit to a GP with that happening.

  5. #23955
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah, I'd get that checked out.

  6. #23956
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Have you had beetroot? I've freaked myself out with that before (it wasn't that red, mind).

  7. #23957
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    You on that beetroot heavy diet too? Absolutely swear by them, god's own balls.

  8. #23958
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    Not eaten it or anything particular red in a while.

  9. #23959
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    You on that beetroot heavy diet too? Absolutely swear by them, god's own balls.
    Preach brother.

  10. #23960
    I used to be funny.
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    It does look a little too red. All blood, no piss.

  11. #23961
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    You need to see your GP as soon as possible. Was it associated with any pain?

  12. #23962
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    White socks.

  13. #23963
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Chill, they'll be red soon.

  14. #23964
    Senior Member Vercetti's Avatar
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    I'd be more concerned about the shape of his flippers.

    Can always buy another Ribena.

  15. #23965
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    lol Beadle feet to go with his Beadle hand.

  16. #23966
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We're all missing the elephant in the room here. Where's the toilet brush? Scummy cunts.

  17. #23967
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is that the world's thickest pube by your foot?

  18. #23968
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I think it's gotten to the point where we need to help Magic. Waff, make sure he gets to the doctor next week and I'll transfer you some money for a toilet brush.

  19. #23969
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    Read the disclaimer, cunts.

  20. #23970
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Fuck your disclaimer. I wouldn't associate with vermin that don't have a bog brush.

  21. #23971
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Aren't toilet brushes basically the most filthy things on the planet? Do you wash it after use?

  22. #23972
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Aren't toilet brushes basically the most filthy things on the planet? Do you wash it after use?

  23. #23973
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Scrub with the flush.

  24. #23974
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Aren't toilet brushes basically the most filthy things on the planet? Do you wash it after use?
    All respect lost.

  25. #23975
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Pro tip: use tissue with your hand to get rid of skidmarks before they solidify and you're forced into using those horrible things.

  26. #23976
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Scrub with the flush.
    That's not going to get the little bits of shit [you've presumably been scrubbing] off though, is it?

    Spikey being fully on board with them definitely marks them out as the preserve of butlerless lower classes.

  27. #23977
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Anyway, in other toilet matters, I'm off camping next week (joy) and the wife has bought a toilet bucket. I mean, what the fuck is that?

  28. #23978
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Taz putting his hand in the shitter is no surprise.

  29. #23979
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    It's like a toilet but without the plumbing. Handy if there is a sewage dumping point nearby.

  30. #23980
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Pro tip: use tissue with your hand to get rid of skidmarks before they solidify and you're forced into using those horrible things.
    You dirty cunt.

  31. #23981
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Riverbank Frank should be running NSW

    https://fb.watch/7o1pNxJNbh/

  32. #23982
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's only the same as wiping your arse (which he doesn't even use paper for).

  33. #23983
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    That's not going to get the little bits of shit [you've presumably been scrubbing] off though, is it?

    Spikey being fully on board with them definitely marks them out as the preserve of butlerless lower classes.
    It's never been an issue. The technique is flawless as long as you aren't dropping a mudslide.

  34. #23984
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    It's like a toilet but without the plumbing. Handy if there is a sewage dumping point nearby.
    I believe there is a lake.

    There's also a pub, a café and, presumably, actual toilet facilities nearby as well though.

  35. #23985
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    I'm a glamper myself you couldn't pay me enough to go without public facilities nearby.

  36. #23986
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The white man's inability to clean his arse properly probably sets our climate change efforts back significantly. Be better.

  37. #23987
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Taz is correct here. Humanity's next great leap will not occur before the last toilet brush is eradicated.

  38. #23988
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Hold your horses PM Sco Mo has announced that we have secured another 1 MILLION pfyzer doses due to arrive in the next 24 hours.

    Edit: Sent from Poland.
    Last edited by Queenslander; 15-08-2021 at 02:29 AM.

  39. #23989
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Such a confusing page. Do I care more about Australia's plight, taz wiping the toilet, Niko bucket shitting or blood piss mj?

  40. #23990
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    That's not going to get the little bits of shit [you've presumably been scrubbing] off though, is it?

    Spikey being fully on board with them definitely marks them out as the preserve of butlerless lower classes.

  41. #23991
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Liverpool NSW, Mike.
    Oops

  42. #23992
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Taz is right here. The most civilized form of arse cleaning is obviously the bidet. The bidet separates the civilized cultures from the uncivilized ones.

  43. #23993
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It’s actually probably the opposite.

  44. #23994
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    So when I say my piss was normal apparently it's not. It's cloudy and frothy.

  45. #23995
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's a Kindey Infection then.

    I'd say get some Antibiotics, but it means getting into bed with BigPharma. Get some Cranberry Juice if you can tolerate BigSupermarkets.

  46. #23996
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    No other symptoms. No pain at all.

  47. #23997
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Do you have any means of checking your blood pressure? If it's bloody and frothy you might need to go to hospital.

  48. #23998
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    I pissed blood last Monday, turned out to just be your regular UTI that had gone to my kidneys. I pusseyed out and went for the antibiotics though.

  49. #23999
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Glomerulonephritis (kidney infection) makes you properly ill. If you didn't feel like you needed to go to hospital it was probably just a lower UTI.

    EDIT: Pyelonephritis, not glomerulonephritis.
    Last edited by randomlegend; 15-08-2021 at 09:15 PM.

  50. #24000
    Senior Member Bernanke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Glomerulonephritis (kidney infection) makes you properly ill. If you didn't feel like you needed to go to hospital it was probably just a lower UTI.
    I went to the hospital and left a urine + blood sample, but they didn't have a lab on site so I don't know exactly what I had, haven't called to check. CRP was around 60 I think, the doctor just told me to take Bactrim for a week and it should be good. Kidneys started aching progressively over Monday but woke up feeling a lot better Tuesday morning already.

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