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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #551
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure if you look in the background of some of those David revolutionary epics you can see Tyler Hamilton cruising along with a glass of bubbly.

  2. #552
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They will reduce it to whichever two stages favour a French rider.

  3. #553
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    However, I would suggest that in those societies, selfish idiocy is much less prevalent than it is in Europe.
    Why do so many shit on toilet seats then?

  4. #554
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Guernsey announced a case today. We fucking merk them in everything. Rugby, football, beaches, health, banter, everything.

  5. #555
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Their slitty bumholes spray it everywhere.

  6. #556
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    They will reduce it to whichever two stages favour a French rider.
    And they will still lose to a plucky Brit.

  7. #557
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I should think all the plucky Brits will be staying indoors given that this virus will disproportionately affect asthmatics.

  8. #558
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    The woman who has it here brought it back from Tenerife. Apparently she has a 6th form age son who didn't go on holiday with her, but has been out on the piss at various locations all weekend so, if he has it they're going to end up shutting everything down.

    Kids off school for 2+ weeks is going to see more family annihilations than corona virus deaths.

  9. #559
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    Building on that, if Bradley really wants to prove his innocence he could buy a one way ticket to Hubei province and smear himself in the juice of Coronavirus victims.

    Like the witch test, if he dies he was telling the truth all along.

  10. #560
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Do they produce a juice?

    One upside of sitting around all day is that I've discovered that the tank museum has its own Youtube channel, you can almost smell the leather elbow patches.

  11. #561
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've been trying to think what I'll do when I don't leave the flat for a month. Might finally watch the Sopranos. How many hours of that are there?

  12. #562
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    The woman who has it here brought it back from Tenerife. Apparently she has a 6th form age son who didn't go on holiday with her, but has been out on the piss at various locations all weekend so, if he has it they're going to end up shutting everything down.

    Kids off school for 2+ weeks is going to see more family annihilations than corona virus deaths.
    I'm not even sure it effects kids that much.

  13. #563
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've been trying to think what I'll do when I don't leave the flat for a month. Might finally watch the Sopranos. How many hours of that are there?
    I dunno. I stopped at episode 4. 7 series. That's got to be 21 discs, right?

  14. #564
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I'm not even sure it effects kids that much.
    Does it effect anyone who isn't about to die anyway?

  15. #565
    I used to be funny.
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    Well, Italy's on total lockdown. That was sudden.

  16. #566
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The whole of Italy is on 'lockdown' now.

  17. #567
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I read a theory earlier that its effect is perhaps proportionate to how much damage has already been done to the respiratory system it infects. It's basically Gerd Müller, but for lifelong smokers instead of loose balls in the box.

  18. #568
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    So what shares am I buying on Friday then, boys? Gotta spend my horse winnings.
    I'm a twit

  19. #569
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Think the only buys at the moment are Andrex and Cussons.

  20. #570
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    So the bloke I work with who flew out on Saturday morning won't be coming back any time soon then and when he does he'll be self isolating.

  21. #571
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The government are ramping up the panic good and proper here now anyway. Looking at well into next year.

  22. #572
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Poland for a week at the end of the month and then somewhere hot for a week and a half (likely Cuba or Dominican Republic).

    Chances?
    Looks done.

    Friend in Poland said that they're liking going to close borders tomorrow.

  23. #573
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    "No more nightlife" says Italian PM Guiseppe Conte, but you can still go to work. Are the Italians really that much of a stereotype?

  24. #574
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I got isolated for about an hour earlier at work, then everyone decided it was probably alright and we were 'de-escalated'. Probably shouldn't give any more details (or even post that) but wevs.

  25. #575
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I dunno. I stopped at episode 4. 7 series. That's got to be 21 discs, right?
    Just checked my box set and it's 28 discs. 85 episodes. 45 minutes each, I think. 62 hours ish?

  26. #576
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    What is the point of all the shit the government is talking about doing if you're going to preside over this:

    https://www.independent.co.uk/travel...-a9387072.html

  27. #577
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    The one time we are lucky to be run by fascists. We send our incoming to detention centers and army bases.

    Or did before flight bans.
    Last edited by Queenslander; 10-03-2020 at 03:37 AM.

  28. #578
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    Interesting listening to LeBron James saying he won't play if the NBA hold games behind closed doors.

  29. #579
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Our Chief medical bloke is pretty convinced that our researchers are right that the majority will only get this once.

  30. #580
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    So what shares am I buying on Friday then, boys? Gotta spend my horse winnings.
    Im buying Tui. 50% down already.

    It's a risk as they may go full Thomas Cook but it has the biggest potential reward I've seen.

  31. #581
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Be patient. We have a Mad Max phase to get through yet.

  32. #582
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'm in the same boat as Baz. Can't do anything until Friday at the earliest anyway.

  33. #583
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Catching a falling knife comes to mind.

  34. #584
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queenslander View Post
    Catching a falling knife comes to mind.
    It will all come good in the end. (Holiday companies the possible exception)

  35. #585
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Mongolia infiltrated. Top work.

  36. #586
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It will all come good in the end. (Holiday companies the possible exception)
    Yeah they will need to be bailed out down here (QLD).

  37. #587
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    Investing in tourism weeks before half the world potentially goes into lockdown

    Just be patient.

  38. #588
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellberg View Post
    Investing in tourism weeks before half the world potentially goes into lockdown

    Just be patient.
    Biggest Gainzzzzzz. They'll be about 1p share if it all goes tits up. The scenes If they can hang in there until the recovery.

  39. #589
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    They'll come down further. More gainz.

  40. #590
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Knobheads burying themselves on the stockmarket would be best bit of this whole thing.

  41. #591
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    The Forest chairman, who was at the game on Friday and taking photos with the fans, has it.

  42. #592
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    You'd imagine that's it for the season then

  43. #593
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    LOL they've just cancelled our meeting to prepare for the global conference we organize once a year.

    I'm going to be out of a job boys.

  44. #594
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Knobheads burying themselves on the stockmarket would be best bit of this whole thing.
    You mirin?

  45. #595
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    Knobheads burying themselves on the stockmarket would be best bit of this whole thing.
    My thoughts exactly.

    Hopefully this 4% rise has butt-fucked some.

  46. #596
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    The Forest chairman, who was at the game on Friday and taking photos with the fans, has it.
    He's also the owner of Olympiakos, so Wolves have now requested their game on Thursday be postponed, rather than played behind closed doors.

  47. #597
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Klopp coating off some Argentinian ESPN journo in the champions league press conference on the coronavirus subject is quite funny.

  48. #598
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    My thoughts exactly.

    Hopefully this 4% rise has butt-fucked some.
    4% is nothing with the gainz on the horizon.

    Disclaimer: I've been too lazy to even properly look into how I would go abaout buying shares, so the chances are nothing will even come of this.

  49. #599
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    What will have to happen is Euro 2020 will be postponed to 2021, and this year's seasons will be completed in June or whenever the curse is lifted.

  50. #600
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    FIFA will love UEFA turning up in their Club World Cup spot.

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