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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #14901
    I used to be funny.
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    Y'know, he's on the right track. What if we got ourselves a roast and trapped it in battery (as in batter, not Duracell's) goodness?

  2. #14902
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    A Yorkshire Wellington

  3. #14903
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've seen Yorkshire wraps a fair bit. Never tried one though.

  4. #14904
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    They’ve made these things called a Naanwich here. Pakora chicken nuggets bit of lettuce and onions and sauce inside Full sized cheesy naan It’s incredible.

  5. #14905
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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  6. #14906
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Because we all have Telegraph subscriptions...

  7. #14907
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It says they've softened us up for this current state to continue into January in return for the prize of a week off at Christmas.

  8. #14908
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I don't think any softening up was required. There is a bizarre fixation on Christmas in this country. It has to be perfect. Everyone has to get what they want and no amount of credit card debt or inconvenience before or after Christmas is too much.

  9. #14909
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It’s almost like it’s the one time of year where families come together. Maybe I’m the outlier but from what I’ve seen of UK culture, it’s rare for people to live in the same place as their parents and their parents the same place as their siblings.

    It’s not like Naples where there’s 35 variety of aunts/uncles/niece/newphew coming round for dinner every Sunday.

    So in a year where that’s been largely impossible since March, I understand peoples anxiety over it.

  10. #14910
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    There are numerous weekends and Bank Holidays where they can get together. And they can do so without accumulating ridiculous levels of debt or requiring the nation to go through a 2 month lockdown.

  11. #14911
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Where they can but they don't. What's with the whole 'everyone going bankrupt at Christmas' thing?

  12. #14912
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    The obsession with Christmas is absolutely insane. I always find the people who bang on about it the most are the ones who end up enjoying it the least as well. Then they also envitably depressed throughout January as they've got nothing to look forward to, this time will be even worse!

    My wife is on about isolating away form me in our spare bedroom for two weeks so she can go and visit her family for a few days over Christmas with a clear conscience and then isolate again for another 14 days when she gets back. Mental.

  13. #14913
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Where they can but they don't. What's with the whole 'everyone going bankrupt at Christmas' thing?
    https://www.stepchange.org/media-cen...christmas.aspx

    It's a big problem.

    I'm all for Christmas, good food, good company, lots of alcohol and an Eastenders special but we have an unhealthy obsession with it.

    People are willing to struggle financially for 3 quarters of the year to have a good Christmas and now, apparently, to isolate themselves from the people they love for 6-8 weeks so that they... can see the people they love for 5 days over Christmas?

  14. #14914
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    There's a bit of what phonics said, but from my observation of colleagues etc Christmas gets completely turbocharged in (many) families which have kids aged 3-11, to the point where it's literally the focal point of the entire year and everything else is just building up to it. That's where you get the demand for decorations in the shop from October and so on.

    It's a marketing orgy and there is no group of people that marketeers love more than 'mums', as they're often making spending decisions for four or five people across multiple arenas be it food and drink, presents, trips out or whatever else. Wrap those all up in tinsel with a Santa hat and you're sitting on a pot of gold.

  15. #14915
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    So many people have got their trees up already “coz wot else can we do?” but I like that we’re sticking to tradition and all being polite enough to wait for Lewis to start our Christmas 2020 thread on December 1st. Well done, TTH.
    I'm a twit

  16. #14916
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Unfortunately my time on the railway has taught me there is a spike in fatalities come January when the bills roll in and I worry this coming January could be an all time high.

  17. #14917
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Can't even enjoy the Delay Repays this year 2 or 3 years ago was superb, they were dropping like flies.

  18. #14918
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Can I recommend you Delay Repay Sniper. Works a treat when you have an annual season ticket.

  19. #14919
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    The obsession with Christmas is absolutely insane. I always find the people who bang on about it the most are the ones who end up enjoying it the least as well. Then they also envitably depressed throughout January as they've got nothing to look forward to, this time will be even worse!

    My wife is on about isolating away form me in our spare bedroom for two weeks so she can go and visit her family for a few days over Christmas with a clear conscience and then isolate again for another 14 days when she gets back. Mental.
    All that for a bad cold. Jesus.

  20. #14920
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Unfortunately my time on the railway has taught me there is a spike in fatalities come January when the bills roll in and I worry this coming January could be an all time high.
    Same in my job, I think that's why I'm so aware of it. It all starts in October when people can't pay their rent and offer various feeble excuses why. Then they end up in court in January/ February and end up with a court order that they start breaching the following October. It's nuts.

    That said, they're not the ones that kill themselves in my experience. It's more likely to be the lonely and isolated people, which is where Phonics point does have merit and why the train cleaners may be very busy indeed this winter.

  21. #14921
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Part of me also feels a bit sorry for the other religions whose celebrations we happily trashed to Control the Virus, but then I remember 7/7 and think of all them girls in Rotherham and elsewhere and I might buy two advent calendars this year.

  22. #14922
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dquincy View Post
    Can I recommend you Delay Repay Sniper. Works a treat when you have an annual season ticket.
    The sweet sweet days of https://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk/ for me. DRS is probably less work but also less satisfaction as a result.

  23. #14923
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Part of me also feels a bit sorry for the other religions whose celebrations we happily trashed to Control the Virus, but then I remember 7/7 and think of all them girls in Rotherham and elsewhere and I might buy two advent calendars this year.
    You shouldn't. Over 85% of the UK's population is either Christian or non-religious. You can't please them all.

  24. #14924
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    Yeah fuck the minorities.

  25. #14925
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Tourism NSW putting their best foot forward welcoming the first flight from Melbourne to Sydney.


  26. #14926
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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  27. #14927
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    Trump is gonna love the fact that it's only 70%.

    You see in England, at Oxford, supposed to be the best school... just 70%. Our vaccine is 95%, best vaccine in the world most people are saying that. My Warp Speed program has been a tremendous success, such a legacy

  28. #14928
    I used to be funny.
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    "Our fridges are colder, too. Yeah!" <cut to syringes being buried in the arctic>

  29. #14929
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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  30. #14930
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    What time is Boris on?

  31. #14931
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    The missus’ Maw tested positive on Friday having shown symptoms from Wednesday. She’s a deputy head so no surprises there. She’s only just turned 40 though and certainly not obese or anything and has been in bed since Friday morning and hasn’t moved. The Missus has had bad headaches since Saturday which is apparently a symptom.

    The Maw has to self isolate until Saturday but we have to until a week Wednesday unless I start showing symptoms and it’s ten days from that day. Load of bollocks.

  32. #14932
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is your girlfriend 9?

  33. #14933
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I've been on the headache train for the last week too. It was very mild until the middle of last night and when I woke up this morning. I'm alright now but watch this space.

  34. #14934
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Is your girlfriend 9?
    This is Scotland, 40 is almost pension age.

  35. #14935
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Is your girlfriend 9?
    21

    19 won’t be off the average age round here for pregnancy.

  36. #14936
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    What time is Boris on?
    7pm I think.

    4k/2k/0 allowed at outdoor events (depending on relevant tier). Does that include gigs? This tier business is gonna lead to mass migration of crackheads.

  37. #14937
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Leader of the SNP at Westminster-



    He really is a cunt.

  38. #14938
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Westminster should be telling these dickheads that they have no right to be closing 'national' borders.

  39. #14939
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    We should just bin them off and they can make all the laws they like.

  40. #14940
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We can hear the 'drumming hooves' of your bumbling bollocks Boj. Get on with it.

  41. #14941
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Has Whitty gone blind? His eyes have gone weird.

  42. #14942
    I used to be funny.
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    Sign language really, really makes this.

  43. #14943
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    Hands, Face, Space mother fuckers!

    We're entering the final straight of this piece of shit time in all our lives.

  44. #14944
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I must be watching a different channel.

  45. #14945
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Get Baz back in that office.

  46. #14946
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    I must be watching a different channel.
    Multiple vaccines ready to go balls deep, 2020 ending a mere 5 weeks away and a couple of months off the days getting longer.

    It's happening.

  47. #14947
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Get Baz back in that office.
    Never again. The building was shut so long it's gone even mouldier. So what was previously seen as "not fit for a public library but fine for a workforce" is now just unfit for any purpose, it seems.

    I mean, it's a crying shame that such an iconic building has been allowed to fall into such disarray, but if it means I can have naps and watch films on my dinner, I'm all for it.
    I'm a twit

  48. #14948
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    It's happening.
    Nope.

  49. #14949
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Nope.
    Well it obviously is, just maybe not as quick as Yev seems to think.

  50. #14950
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Well the shortest day isn't until this time next month so his daylight hopes are in ruins atleast.

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