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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #3951
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    https://video.corriere.it/cronaca/co...8-27b94f5268fe

    Great Italian coronavirus content.

  2. #3952
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It's fairly broad.





    A rundown of the new restrictions announced today.
    • All theatres, clubs, gyms, leisure centres, hairdressers, marts, markets casinos, bingo halls, betting shops, libraries and other similar places are to shut.
    • All hotels and non-essential retail outlets will close - a list of those will be provided.
    • All cafes and restaurants should limit to take away and deliveries only.
    • All sporting events are cancelled - including those behind closed doors.
    • All playgrounds and holiday/caravan parks are to close.
    • All places of worship are to restrict numbers visiting.
    • All household contacts of someone waiting for a test should restrict their movements.
    • All non-essential visiting to other persons homes should be avoided.
    • All scheduled cruise ships to Ireland will cease.
    • Factories or construction sites should not have to shut - authorities can work with them to make sure physical distancing is possible.
    • There will be an increased presence of park rangers and gardaí in parks and public places to ensure that physical distancing is being observed.
    • Significantly raise the amount of money available on cashless card transactions.
    • All organised indoor and outdoor events of any size are not to take place
    • Social distancing, in as far as practicable, is to be ensured between the clients/patients in confined settings, such as:
    • long term care facilities, either for the elderly or people with special needs;
    • psychiatric institutions;
    • homeless shelters
    • prisons

    Minister for Health Simon Harris said the State would take control of private hospitals for the duration of the crisis and that patients with the virus will be treated for free with no distinction between public and private.
    Priority testing for health staff, including GPs, will be introduced.

    Mr Varadkar said the impact upon the economy and employment would be enormous.
    He announced that the Covid-19 unemployment payment will be raised to €350 per week and the Covid-19 self isolation payment will also be increased to €350.
    The Taoiseach said that in order to encourage employers and companies to keep staff affected on the payroll, a wage subsidy scheme will be introduced to co-fund 70% of salaries up to a maximum of €38,000 per year.
    He said a subsidy of €410 will be available for a wage subsidy scheme.

    The Taoiseach said the self employed will also be covered.

    He said the Cabinet approved a new bill this afternoon that will freeze rents, halt evictions and allow former members of the Defence forces to rejoin.
    Last edited by Giggles; 24-03-2020 at 06:04 PM.

  3. #3953
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    I’ve had the dry cough for 13 days, shortness of breath for 9, viral conjunctivitis over the weekend and nausea with the shits today. I’m increasingly convinced this is it.
    Sounds like you tick every box. What's your R0?

  4. #3954
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    No one's about. Thank fuck.

  5. #3955
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Sounds like you tick every box. What's your R0?
    No fever. I’m clinging to that.

  6. #3956
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    No fever. I’m clinging to that.
    Have they had you mincing about into meetings with those symptoms though?

  7. #3957
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Why have you even been at work?

  8. #3958
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He'll have been pinching toilet roll.

  9. #3959
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    I've finally had my results and apparently I've not had coronavirus, I've just had a different respiratory viral infection (and presumably have coronavirus to look forward to in the coming weeks/months).

    It's a bit of a shitter really because I've felt absolutely fucking awful (and even now my breathing is not back to normal) and I've not even had the thing that's causing all this chaos.

  10. #3960
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    I'm holding onto the benefit of the doubt here, but if a senior NHS staff member has been going to work with a dry cough for 13 days then there is no hope.

    Let it out. Let it out now.

  11. #3961
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco View Post
    In stunning news most of the office have been put on furlough until the end of May, skeleton staff only (possibly literally). My suspicion is it became cheaper to let Boris pay us our 80% than to have us schlepping about the office with no customers to speak of.

    Officially out of the running for TTH Last Man Standing.
    I'm doing exactly that starting tomorrow. Everyone other than support staff are being furloughed as soon as they've finished outstanding work.

  12. #3962
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    I don't think I'll get Furlough (the new official worst word in the English language), but by the end of this I'll probably have wished I had.

  13. #3963
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    lol at everyone getting hayfever, thinking they’re about to infect their family and wipe out their surname.
    I'm a twit

  14. #3964
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    When do we accept that 'mass death' is the only viable way forward?

  15. #3965
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    I’ve been self-isolating since last Thursday. My boss didn’t care about the cough. He argued about the definition of ‘persistent’. But my cough was a week old by that point and my shortness of breath was three days old. I reported all of this. And, yes, I was still required in meetings. I’m pretty angry about it, to be perfectly honest.

  16. #3966
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    Officially at least, fewer than 18% of the deaths caused by this are now in China.

  17. #3967
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    I’ve been self-isolating since last Thursday. My boss didn’t care about the cough. He argued about the definition of ‘persistent’. But my cough was a week old by that point and my shortness of breath was three days old. I reported all of this. And, yes, I was still required in meetings. I’m pretty angry about it, to be perfectly honest.
    That is properly shocking. Apologies if I missed you explaining it first time around.

  18. #3968
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Productive day working from home. First thing I did was up the time it takes for Skype to show you as away/inactive.

  19. #3969
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    When do we accept that 'mass death' is the only viable way forward?
    The US will be a very interesting test case on that if that's the way they're going. Their numbers are absolutely shocking.

  20. #3970
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I think you’ve to try your best rather than throw in the towel. Whatever sort of world you think we’ll be left with after this, it wouldn’t even come close to one where we just said fuck everyone to avoid some inconvenience.
    That thinking is bordering on morbid fetish territory too.

  21. #3971
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    That is properly shocking. Apologies if I missed you explaining it first time around.
    I don’t think I have.

    I’ve had to pretend I had a one day fever for them to even agree to the self-isolation.

    It’s one of the reasons I’m quite willing to go off sick with something stress related and pick up the six months full pay if they fuck me around on working from home. I absolutely do not need to be in the building (a building I know the virus exists is) to do my job. I’m just not willing to increase the risk to me or Lauren.

  22. #3972
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I think you’ve to try your best rather than throw in the towel. Whatever sort of world you think we’ll be left with after this, it wouldn’t even come close to one where we just said fuck everyone to avoid some inconvenience.
    That thinking is bordering on morbid fetish territory too.
    I agree entirely, but that wasn't my question.

    The world will end up being the same whatever path is taken.

  23. #3973
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    The US will be a very interesting test case on that if that's the way they're going. Their numbers are absolutely shocking.
    Hancock says they’ve ordered 3.5m anti-body tests. That’s the way out of this. We just need to stick with things as they are for a bit.

  24. #3974
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I think you’ve to try your best rather than throw in the towel. Whatever sort of world you think we’ll be left with after this, it wouldn’t even come close to one where we just said fuck everyone to avoid some inconvenience.
    That thinking is bordering on morbid fetish territory too.
    But the rich might not have as many millions in their bank accounts as before if we all stop working for a month or two.

  25. #3975
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Immunocompromised friend is "80% back to normal". So relieved, was obviously trying not to let on to her but I was seriously worried about her.

  26. #3976
    I used to be funny.
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    For all the US pondering about this, they're trying experimental shit. Splitting ventilators between two patients, trying to inject antibodies into patients to see if they take, etc.

  27. #3977
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Immunocompromised friend is "80% back to normal". So relieved, was obviously trying not to let on to her but I was seriously worried about her.
    You banging her or something. Fucking all you've gone on about.

  28. #3978
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    I don’t think I have.

    I’ve had to pretend I had a one day fever for them to even agree to the self-isolation.

    It’s one of the reasons I’m quite willing to go off sick with something stress related and pick up the six months full pay if they fuck me around on working from home. I absolutely do not need to be in the building (a building I know the virus exists is) to do my job. I’m just not willing to increase the risk to me or Lauren.
    Honestly, that man should not be working, let alone in the NHS. Despicable behaviour.

  29. #3979
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Hancock says they’ve ordered 3.5m anti-body tests. That’s the way out of this. We just need to stick with things as they are for a bit.
    Couple of questions:

    Do these tests 100% work and have they been used anywhere else?

    EDIT: And I'm not saying I agree with the US' approach if that's what they do.

  30. #3980
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    You banging her or something. Fucking all you've gone on about.
    She's a good friend in her 20s who was at genuine risk of dying. Sorry for the over-reaction.

  31. #3981
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Couple of questions:

    Do these tests 100% work and have they been used anywhere else?

    EDIT: And I'm not saying I agree with the US' approach if that's what they do.
    Fuck knows and fuck knows. But they’ll surely have tested them before ordering that many of them.

  32. #3982
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    India does what India does.

  33. #3983
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    Fuck knows and fuck knows. But they’ll surely have tested them before ordering that many of them.
    Well, you'd think...

    You'd have also thought they'd have worked out how many people were going to die from a herd immunity strategy before embarking on it.

  34. #3984
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    "I absolutely do not need to be in the building (a building I know the virus exists is) to do my job."

    I know those feels, papa.

  35. #3985
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The building my office is in is officially closed.

    And work sent a survey our saying “if you are happy to do any of these, how experienced are you out of 5” with stuff like driving a minibus, caring for the elderly/children, admin, driving a HGV.

    I ticked NONE of the boxes and submitted it. Fuck off with your redeployment attempts - I have actual work to be doing. It’s the end of the financial year ffs and I work in contracts.
    I'm a twit

  36. #3986
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    I have fuck all to be doing because my work requires the poor bastards gearing up to save lives through all this. And I still haven’t responded to the ‘voluntary redeployment’ form.

    ‘Would you like to support with feeding/talking to patients while our clinical staff are dedicated to managing the Covid-19 outbreak.’

    No, I fucking well would not.

  37. #3987
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Our NHS Heroes are working double hard battling this terrible disease, and pen pusher here is worrying about infected paperclips and threatening to scam six months leave off them. I'll be sending a dossier of this to the Daily Mirror, and I implore any Group members jostling for position to sell his messages in there out as well.

  38. #3988
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I reckon if Our NHS Heroes really go the extra mile, they might just burgle us a (mawkish, but handy) extra Bank Holiday. Boris would fucking love to create an extra one of those, I bet.

  39. #3989
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Our NHS Heroes are working double hard battling this terrible disease, and pen pusher here is worrying about infected paperclips and threatening to scam six months leave off them. I'll be sending a dossier of this to the Daily Mirror, and I implore any Group members jostling for position to sell his messages in there out as well.
    It’s the colleagues who have filthy disease carrying kids I care more about but if paperclips carry a risk I’m prepared to fuck them off as well.

    I’m a selfish fucker when it comes to how high a priority my job is in my life and I make no apologies. I’ll take NHS Heroes Bank Holiday off happily, too.

  40. #3990
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This NHS volunteer wheeze will be filled in ten minutes if normal sentiment if anything to go by.

  41. #3991
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    She's a good friend in her 20s who was at genuine risk of dying. Sorry for the over-reaction.
    Naughty naughty.

  42. #3992
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    Beautifully quiet in Aberdeen. Went for a walk from 6-7pm and the streets were absolutely empty. I was walking pretty centrally and saw maybe 10-15 people. Popped into the supermarket on the way home too and it was also empty. Milk and pizza available. Perfect.

    Going to go out my nut if they take away the Outdoors bit.

    Pretty disappointed golf courses are closed though. Solo golf around a countryside club would’ve been perfect right now. Annoying.

  43. #3993
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Beautifully quiet in Aberdeen. Went for a walk from 6-7pm and the streets were absolutely empty. I was walking pretty centrally and saw maybe 10-15 people. Popped into the supermarket on the way home too and it was also empty. Milk and pizza available. Perfect.

    Going to go out my nut if they take away the Outdoors bit.

    Pretty disappointed golf courses are closed though. Solo golf around a countryside club would’ve been perfect right now. Annoying.
    I hadn't given it any thought until taking the bin out and clocked how silent it all was.

  44. #3994
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Are you still 2 mins from me? The ghetto end of Carnoustie? We can do our walks together x

    And why are you taking the bin out on a Tuesday if so

  45. #3995
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lee View Post
    I don’t think I have.

    I’ve had to pretend I had a one day fever for them to even agree to the self-isolation.

    It’s one of the reasons I’m quite willing to go off sick with something stress related and pick up the six months full pay if they fuck me around on working from home. I absolutely do not need to be in the building (a building I know the virus exists is) to do my job. I’m just not willing to increase the risk to me or Lauren.
    This is Whistle blowing stuff. You really should be speaking up.

  46. #3996
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waffdon View Post
    Are you still 2 mins from me? The ghetto end of Carnoustie? We can do our walks together x

    And why are you taking the bin out on a Tuesday if so
    Down from Carnoustie Tyres.

    Recycling bin tomorrow of course!

  47. #3997
    Senior Member Lee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    This is Whistle blowing stuff. You really should be speaking up.
    We’ll see when it’s over. We’re already potentially one wage down for a while because of this, we need mine.

  48. #3998
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan Shearer The 2nd View Post
    Down from Carnoustie Tyres.

    Recycling bin tomorrow of course!
    Haha, I’m right between the two circles. Are the bins not alternate Thursdays or am I losing my mind

  49. #3999
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Killing the business.


  50. #4000
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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