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Thread: Coronavirus Death Thread

  1. #5501
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    City's boys charging top dollar.

    City’s owners have done more than anyone else thus far

  2. #5502
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    They're going to ban outside exercise tomorrow arent they? can only imagine how rammed the parks, beaches etc will be today.

  3. #5503
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    They're going to ban outside exercise tomorrow arent they? can only imagine how rammed the parks, beaches etc will be today.
    I don't see how that's a good idea or even remotely enforceable. Just jogging to the shops m8.

  4. #5504
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    Yeah exactly that. I’ll go for a daily walk to a supermarket slightly further away to buy ‘essentials’ instead.

    Missing the point.

    If the point is to avoid contact then only allow passengers of essential services dictated by the government on public transport and police those in groups, particularly in high risk urbanised areas. Joe blog walking to the park and sunbathing alone is more at risk by some draconian police office rocking up to them and telling them to go home. Be interesting to find out how many police offices have it and/or are asymptotically spreading it.
    Last edited by Foe; 05-04-2020 at 12:28 PM.

  5. #5505
    I used to be funny.
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    You'll be alright as long as you're not stationary which I guess is why they see sunbathing as a risk.

  6. #5506
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Just plank every 20 mins and you'll be blessed. About to go hurl some abuse at any stationary wankers now on a bike ride.

  7. #5507
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    What are we predicting today? Mass orgies in the parks? Police brutality? 1000 deaths?
    Gonorrhoea is at an all time high because so many people are having group sex.
    I'm a twit

  8. #5508
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Italians down to 525 today, let's hope this is a sign that the peak in these conditions is 2 weeks maximum.

  9. #5509
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Kyle Walker has been helping out key workers though: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-lockdown.html
    Didn't click this initially in my one one man crusade against DM/The Sun but I've just quit my job and started a new one as delivery boy for The Sun after reading this...

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/11329...irus-lockdown/

    I haven't seen a more complete work of comedy in all my time. His mug, his condoms, the sket's quotes...it's fucking [shiny] gold

  10. #5510
    I used to be funny.
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    Yep. Hopefully Spain and Italy are through the worst. Lockdown for maybe 8-12 weeks and we'll hopefully be dealing with just the dregs in terms of cases.

  11. #5511
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    The bunda isn't worth Ł220 let alone Ł2k. Poor form.

    Southgate won't forget these transgressions. Mount, Grealish and now Kai.

  12. #5512
    I used to be funny.
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    They're all replaceable too.

  13. #5513
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    lol at Kyle Walker.

  14. #5514
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The day before he made the distancing video. What's the problem?

  15. #5515
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He also didn't leave his house...

  16. #5516
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's a step down from shagging his dog too.

  17. #5517
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    Corona Cup Second Round Results


  18. #5518
    I used to be funny.
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    Belgium's only going to get stronger as the tournament goes on, Clive.

  19. #5519
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    Countries reporting similar-ish figures day-to-day making this a little more predictable.

  20. #5520
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    Switzerland knocking us out was an upset though I'd say.

  21. #5521
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Who’s getting lolled at today? Haven’t seen the body counts, sick cunts.
    Last edited by Giggles; 05-04-2020 at 05:46 PM.

  22. #5522
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Switzerland knocking us out was an upset though I'd say.
    Nah, our low population had this in the bag.

  23. #5523
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    Today may well be the lowest death count day for a while. Well, a while by today's standards at least.

  24. #5524
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Nah, our low population had this in the bag.
    We'd have beaten you had the match been held two days earlier.

  25. #5525
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    We'd have beaten you had the match been held two days earlier.
    Broken metatarsal's all over again

  26. #5526
    Senior Member Alan Shearer The 2nd's Avatar
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    Anyone else paid attention to the Scottish CMO ignoring her own rules?

  27. #5527
    Senior Member Adramelch's Avatar
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    France is way down today as well, so it could be a real derby vs Italy but I don't see either of us taking Belgium out in the semis.

    They really should have hidden the care home deaths for another 3-4 days.
    Last edited by Adramelch; 05-04-2020 at 06:12 PM.

  28. #5528
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Didn't click this initially in my one one man crusade against DM/The Sun but I've just quit my job and started a new one as delivery boy for The Sun after reading this...

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/11329...irus-lockdown/

    I haven't seen a more complete work of comedy in all my time. His mug, his condoms, the sket's quotes...it's fucking [shiny] gold
    I just love how she slags him for breaking the lockdown despite her doing the same to suck cock for cash.

  29. #5529
    Senior Member Adramelch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    I just love how she slags him for breaking the lockdown despite her doing the same to suck cock for cash.
    She's an essential worker though.

  30. #5530
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Today may well be the lowest death count day for a while. Well, a while by today's standards at least.
    In Sweden at least the death reporting is lagging sometimes up to a few days as the hopsitals process and report deaths etc, and especially on weekends apparently. Dunno if it's the same in the UK.

  31. #5531
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    I see Dominic Cummings has lost an uncle. Reap what you sow and all that.

  32. #5532
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan Shearer The 2nd View Post
    Anyone else paid attention to the Scottish CMO ignoring her own rules?
    Aye. Presumably she hasn't been summarily dismissed due to THE CURRENT CRISIS.

  33. #5533
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    https://youtu.be/WERVFs8pP4A

    Peter Hitchens seems to have been drinking from the same fountain of knowledge/piss as me. Unfortunately, he also seems to have wasted the platform his name affords him by having about as clearly formulated an argument as me in bed before my final wank of the night.

    Yes, we know it's piss easy to poke holes at the government's approach but unless you can propose alternatives, you're just a crybaby.

    On a more personal note, day 37 has definitely brought some slight improvement in sense of smell/taste. Nowhere near recovered but it's enough light. My jizz is gonna taste better than ever on that first day of full recovery

  34. #5534
    I used to be funny.
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    Mate, just blow your nose.

  35. #5535
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Maybe instead of going blind, you've lost your sense of taste and smell.

  36. #5536
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Johnson has gone to hospital for extra tests? They’re being weird about him after going out then back in to isolation. Lol if he dies of it.

  37. #5537
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    https://twitter.com/andygoldstein05/...631989249?s=20

    The vid below is better for the Coleman's spoonful. I was thinking what else you could do for the TikTok views and consequent bishes but aside from Cinnamon challenge, that's pretty much the end of it. The bishes will have to wait.

  38. #5538
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Read last week Johnson was in a poor state of affairs.

  39. #5539
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Jelly and ice cream when Bojo dies

  40. #5540
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    The street party when he dies builds up herd immunity. Long term goals.

  41. #5541
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    If Boris still has symptoms now he might be in a bit of trouble.

  42. #5542
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    RIP Boris you cunt
    I'm a twit

  43. #5543
    I used to be funny.
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    What if he holds the key to beating this?

  44. #5544
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    What would happen if he did die?

  45. #5545
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    If Boris still has symptoms now he might be in a bit of trouble.
    My old man is on his 12th day today and said last night was the worst thing he’s experienced. Just got told to stay at home in isolation.

  46. #5546
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    His missus had it, so that might explain his condition. They should send a prostitute into the hospital to revive him like Popeye.

  47. #5547
    I used to be funny.
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    They split up (as in moved to different houses) once he confirmed he had it. I think she developed symptoms after him.

  48. #5548
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    What would happen if he did die?
    Acting PM Raab until they decided on a suitable time to anoint PM Sunak.

    I swear that is why Hancock rushed back from his isolation, was terrified of Sunak getting a week in the spotlight and showing up the rest of them even more.

  49. #5549
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Sunak didn't really show anyone up though, did he? He made big pledges, many of which seem more to be soundbites than anything else. People looked forward to him on screen because it was like handing out free candy until they realised they didn't get any or fell through the net.

    EDIT: You can include that Yvette woman too as the same thing happened with her. She spoke a few lines of sense then it was "Next PM!" when all it does for me is show how low the bar has been set.

  50. #5550
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    You do realise most of those things are now happening right?

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