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Thread: Christmas 2019

  1. #351
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Actually I would draw the line at those Kwak ones that require a stand.

  2. #352
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Isn't the corona one just a straight-edged yankee style pint glass? Not that bad.

    The new Carlsberg one does my head in, coning in towards the top, funneling all the head into an insurmountable beer sundae. I guess you're (they're) meant to lop that bit off with one of those (fancy) beer palate knife things, but, well, when they don't, which is all the time, it's a right pain in the bits.

  3. #353
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    I like the short Camden Lager pint glass.

  4. #354
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Isn't the corona one just a straight-edged yankee style pint glass? Not that bad.

    The new Carlsberg one does my head in, coning in towards the top, funneling all the head into an insurmountable beer sundae. I guess you're (they're) meant to lop that bit off with one of those (fancy) beer palate knife things, but, well, when they don't, which is all the time, it's a right pain in the bits.
    I can't imagine a situation where Carlsberg would be the best beer available, so you're paying for your own poor choices.

  5. #355
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Agreed. Carlsberg or Carling drinkers should be banned from this board with immediate effect.

  6. #356
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    These are the only job.



  7. #357
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I can't imagine a situation where Carlsberg would be the best beer available, so you're paying for your own poor choices.
    It's a pissy lager, and no worse than all the rest of such filth that's usually on offer at 'child friendly' establishments. If you want to be the mongo paying 50% more for a pint of peroni then have at it.

  8. #358
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It smells like something has died inside me. That’s the stage you know it’s time for Christmas to end.

  9. #359
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    It's a pissy lager, and no worse than all the rest of such filth that's usually on offer at 'child friendly' establishments. If you want to be the mongo paying 50% more for a pint of peroni then have at it.
    They all have ales these days. No excuses. Shame. Shame.

  10. #360
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    They all have ales these days. No excuses. Shame. Shame.
    I was in one of Brewers Fayre shitholes the other week (which is where I imagine you take kids to let them run riot on a Sunday) and they had absolutely fuck all of the taps actually available and none of the first 3 bottles I asked for either.

  11. #361
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Ales are wank. Like drinking old man spunk cut with piss.

  12. #362
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'll take your word for it.

  13. #363
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I'll take your word for it.
    If you’re out of smack then you’ll do what you need to do.

  14. #364
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Ales are wank but listing plastic glasses as a positive of anything. Give your head a wobble.

  15. #365
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Need a poll, lager vs ale, to out the children.
    I'm a twit

  16. #366
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Need a poll, lager vs ale, to out the children.
    What kind of ale? They’re all better than lager but there’s a big difference between Smithwicks and something from Sierra Nevada.



    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 27-12-2019 at 08:49 PM.

  17. #367
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There's a time and a place for everything.

    Sometimes you just need something refreshing without grilling the poor minimum wage fucker entombed in a family establishment about their 'ale selection'.

    The most egregious thing about that Carlsberg glass is that they've had perfectly acceptable glasses in the past - be they a pilsner staple or this textured stalwart.

  18. #368
    Senior Member Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Erdinger has the worst glass.

    This type of glass is the best.
    I'm with you on the Erdinger glasses, I hate those. The short, fat Camden one that Mike posted it my current favourite. I'm firmly in the lager camp too. I can't get on with ale. It's like supping pond water to me. I always feel like a bit of a philistine when I get dragged into some wanky "real ale" pub and ask them what lagers they have on tap.

  19. #369
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Carling is shit but drinkable. Carlsberg and fosters are the two where the taste actually makes me feel ill.

    My fave beers are lambics, milds, and some porters and stouts. Guinness usually a safe bet if it isnt kept badly. Tbh I'm not usually a 2 or 3 pints kinda guy though, so if I'm ON ONE it's usually a couple of pints of midrange lagers like moretti then onto the spirits else I get too bloated and end up needing to do a horrible beer poo in a nightclub toilet which nobody needs.

  20. #370
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    But like if I ended up at an ALE PUB for a pint I'd generally ask one of the bar staff or old fellas at the bar what they'd recommend.

  21. #371
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    They're on minimum wage and don't give a shit.

  22. #372
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    They'd probably be able to steer you in the direction of the skanky ball tickler, 4.2%, acrid, at a push

  23. #373
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    When you all say “real ale” over there, is that meaning stuff like brown ale? Like John Smiths, Tetleys, Bass, etc? Or does that cover IPA’s like Punk, etc?

  24. #374
    I used to be funny.
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    I'm guessing it's IPA. When I order that stuff blind, I just go by percentage, if they list them. It's all the same mango-infused wank anyway.

  25. #375
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    When you all say “real ale” over there, is that meaning stuff like brown ale? Like John Smiths, Tetleys, Bass, etc? Or does that cover IPA’s like Punk, etc?
    I'd say real ale is more stuff like Forty Niner, Timothy Taylor Landlord etc. The 'warm beer' non-natives moan about.

    Punk and other draft IPA type things are 'craft beer'.

    I'd call John Smith's etc bitter, not ale.

  26. #376
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    ^ yep
    I'm a twit

  27. #377
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    I'd say real ale is more stuff like Forty Niner, Timothy Taylor Landlord etc. The 'warm beer' non-natives moan about.

    Punk and other draft IPA type things are 'craft beer'.

    I'd call John Smith's etc bitter, not ale.
    That’s what I was kind of thinking alright. That way here too though we don’t have the brewery landlord type setup.

  28. #378
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    In rather appropriate fashion I'll be finishing off the year with a bastid of a cold. This Christmas has been an utter shambles, with health issues throughout the family causing chaos, so a cold ain't that bad but I'm cancelling plans for tonight and tomorrow.

    Tomorrow was only set to be a tense 'gathering' anyway. Tense, because my mate's wife has cancelled it twice, the second time because my mate has supposedly made a tit of himself when drunk too many times recently (twice from what I can tell, but tbh neither seem that bad), so I imagine the evening for him will consist of getting tipsy then being told off for laughing.

    Food and dogs is a much safer bet. The plus side of this shambolic Christmas is that I've spent a lot more time with my mum and we're getting along better and better with age. I'm tempted to move back to Jersey in March, so it's quite nice knowing that we can live together happily for however long I'd be back at her's.

    As for today, I'm going to take the dogs out then watch Twister and Congo and make a shepherd's pie.

  29. #379
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I’m going home today. Can’t wait.

  30. #380
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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  31. #381
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    I'm in Bristol, a mate is having a party tomorrow night so I'm staying at his for a couple of nights. He shares with a couple of other guys, it's a nice place but I'm fairly sure that in the 4 or so years they've been here nobody has ever hoovered or dusted. My fexofenadine is doing its best but I fear it's a losing battle.

    The worst bit is one of them works for Dyson ffs.

  32. #382
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    What’s wrong with working for Dyson? Because it’s not busking or something?

  33. #383
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    What’s wrong with working for Dyson? Because it’s not busking or something?
    Try reading the post again, I'm sure you'll figure it out chief.

  34. #384
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I trailed off at the end. I’d still be justified in jumping to the conclusion though.

  35. #385
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You’re parodying yourself with this one.
    I'm a twit

  36. #386
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Isn’t that what this is for us all?

  37. #387
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I gave the dog some clotted cream and he has spewed all over the living room.

  38. #388
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Throwback to the best post of 2019:

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Yeah on paper but they're not really. Being a doctor of mental stuff is like saying a bricklayer is a doctor of cement.
    Find a better one. You can't.

  39. #389
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Shiiiiit

  40. #390
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Happy New Year lads.

  41. #391
    Senior Member
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    Merry New Year all.

  42. #392
    Senior Member Spoonsky's Avatar
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    Happy New Year TTHers :-)

  43. #393
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Happy new year. It's pissing it down in Bali today and last night I got a firework in the swede.

  44. #394
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Happy new year. It's pissing it down in Bali today and last night I got a firework in the swede.
    Is that a euphemism? Did your wife use a strap on?

  45. #395
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Is that a euphemism? Did your wife use a strap on?
    Maz is with them and he finally relented.

  46. #396
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    It's a firework into the skull. Probably more painful than a dildo.

  47. #397
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Toggle Spoiler


    Happy New Year from me and some guy with my top. X

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