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Thread: Thread about nothing.

  1. #51
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The guy that runs our local shop has been asking me how my little boy is since before I had children. He's either mistaken me for someone else or he's asking about my cock. Either way, the answer has been 'fine thanks' for about 6 years now.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 28-08-2019 at 07:12 AM.

  2. #52
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I love chatty male shopkeepers and service people. They usually got banter.

  3. #53
    I used to be funny.
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    Small talk is great.

  4. #54
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    When did Football365 become so shit? Nowadays seems to be exclusively a Premier League only website, and most of that content is crappy gossip and top 10's.

    Did it not use to be half-decent, or am I remembering with rose tinted glasses?

  5. #55
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's been shit for so many years that you have to wonder whether it was ever not. I read the letters, and sometimes the sixteen conclusions, but the rest of it is just crap features and then clickbait shit that they call other outlets out for doing.

  6. #56
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    When did Football365 become so shit? Nowadays seems to be exclusively a Premier League only website, and most of that content is crappy gossip and top 10's.

    Did it not use to be half-decent, or am I remembering with rose tinted glasses?
    When they got sold by Sky about 4 years ago. Went from a team to 3 people. Now it's absolute dog shit and their social media has got really bad. Constantly writing headlines like 'Club X is absolutely dog shit' and then getting chippy when fans of those clubs get annoyed at them.

  7. #57
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    F365 mailbox used to be a daily read for me

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    The guy that runs our local shop has been asking me how my little boy is since before I had children. He's either mistaken me for someone else or he's asking about my cock. Either way, the answer has been 'fine thanks' for about 6 years now.
    Also ya I hate small talk so I think you guys must have it right, then. The way i had it pictured was more

    "How's it going"
    "Go fuck yourself you cheery prick"

  9. #59
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Nah you just think the second one.

  10. #60
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    Man we're gonna get a fucking hurricane, fellas.

  11. #61
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Somewhere a missile silo is opening.

  12. #62
    I used to be funny.
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    Our champion spirit is here to stay. Also, I found out today I haven't the first idea how to stop a woman from crying whenever I'm working the phones. I'd be shit with the Samaritans.

  13. #63
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'I see you are still having no luck catching me...'

  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Somewhere a missile silo is opening.
    The way they're talking about this shit turning into a Category 3 I fuckin welcome the nukes at this point tbqh.

  15. #65
    I used to be funny.
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    Turns out women with anxiety get triggered by the phrases, "It's nothing to worry about" and "Enjoy the rest of your day."

  16. #66
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just tell them to straighten themselves out to fuck and hang up.

  17. #67
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Man we're gonna get a fucking hurricane, fellas.
    Live stream it plz

  18. #68
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    If the wifi stays up i got you lol

  19. #69
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    @Shindig what do you do on the phones my boy

  20. #70
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    This one's called like Doryan or something. Imagine dying to a tornado that sounds like it got bullied in Primary school.

  21. #71
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    DUDE I had that exact fucking thought. If I die because of a fucking hurricane called DORIAN i'm gonna be soooo pissed.

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    @Shindig what do you do on the phones my boy
    Ring claimants up to see if they want to take something at short notice. Most of the people I ring are alright with it but the main problem is 95% of them claim anxiety and depression and you can't tell which ones are chronic until you're in that conversation.

  23. #73
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    DUDE I had that exact fucking thought. If I die because of a fucking hurricane called DORIAN i'm gonna be soooo pissed.


    you're gonna get owned by a hurricane called dorian in the shape of a cock and balls. grats.

  24. #74
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    Bruh, you are in south Florida now right? In laws are in Palm Beach but we are in Jax.

    People panic buying all the water already but no one I know really giving a shit yet.

  25. #75
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I panic bought a bag of pistachios last night.

  26. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    Bruh, you are in south Florida now right? In laws are in Palm Beach but we are in Jax.

    People panic buying all the water already but no one I know really giving a shit yet.
    ya here in Palm Beach.. gotta say on Saturday when all the models had it coming right at us i was like welp this is gonna suck lmao

    luckily supposdly supposed to start moving north soon. stationary at the moment but should miss us all

  27. #77
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    My grandmother (in-law) passed away last night. Vietnamese customs really are, well interesting. When my girlfriend and I arrived at the house where she lives, paramedics were still trying to resuscitate her, but it was clear she wasn't pulling through (she was 84, and I suspect had a heart attack). After 15 or 20 mins of further resuscitation (with neighbours watching, talking, laughing amongst themselves), the cops turned up and called it, and immediately signed a death certificate citing natural causes. Off the paramedics went, off the cops went.

    So, there we were, my girlfriend, me, 3 other family members, and grandma lying on the living room floor. Cue house tidying, putting some socks on grandma, and wrapping her tightly in a blanket. We called a small transit van and we all headed to the family home in the countryside (with her body in tow). Upon arrival, a bed was moved into the front living area, and she was placed there to rest for 8hrs. After that, finally moved to a coffin, were she will remain for 48 further hours, before being buried in the back garden.

    Oh, and during the funeral, the immediate family all wear some natty white KKK overalls.
    Last edited by John Arne; 11-09-2019 at 01:15 PM.

  28. #78
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    I gotta say that's pretty intense. I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma though.

  29. #79
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's a bit shit for your girlfriend at the start of the school year.

  30. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    I gotta say that's pretty intense. I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma though.
    Yeah it was. Without being too morbid and heartless, I lost my dad last month - so this was kinda insignificant to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's a bit shit for your girlfriend at the start of the school year.
    She finished high school a couple of years' ago, so, jokes on you.

  31. #81
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Targeted Advertising.

    When will people realise that it's not targeted at all and just spraying shit at the wall?

    In the past few days my promoted tweets have been Scientology, The El Paso Times and Turkish Propaganda saying that they're being invaded by Armenia.

    Meanwhile on Facebook, I get constant advertisements for the following three products from Wish, a company that doesn't operate in Switzerland.





    1) My relationship status is set to Single so 1 and 3 would be weird purchases
    2) The purchase of 2 would be proof that 1+3 would be weird purchases

  32. #82
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    Nah sometimes that shit is waaaaaaay too specific. Maybe it's different here but I'm convinced they've literally given suggestions based on conversations I've had out loud.

    I feel like if I started talking about how bad I wanted a cinnamon pretzel I'd start getting advertisements from Auntie Anne's Pretzels.

  33. #83
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You live in the country where the sales teams are and a large market though so I can imagine it's more filtered.

    I live in a country where podcasts say 'We'll return after this ad break' and there's no ad and it just carries on.

  34. #84
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    I've had two of those exact same Wish products advertised to me too this past week. They must really be sinking their whole budget into FB advertising. I don't think I've ever even been on their website.

    Why they think Goth Black Leather Leggings is the best thing to show prospective customers I don't know

  35. #85
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I already bought a pair thanks to phonics.

  36. #86
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yeah I always get Wish adverts too. Never for kinky trousers though.

  37. #87
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I can't even grow facial hair so this one's just mean.

  38. #88
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    If lack of facial hair is all that's putting you off perhaps they're onto something.

  39. #89
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Arne View Post
    My grandmother (in-law) passed away last night. Vietnamese customs really are, well interesting. When my girlfriend and I arrived at the house where she lives, paramedics were still trying to resuscitate her, but it was clear she wasn't pulling through (she was 84, and I suspect had a heart attack). After 15 or 20 mins of further resuscitation (with neighbours watching, talking, laughing amongst themselves), the cops turned up and called it, and immediately signed a death certificate citing natural causes. Off the paramedics went, off the cops went.

    So, there we were, my girlfriend, me, 3 other family members, and grandma lying on the living room floor. Cue house tidying, putting some socks on grandma, and wrapping her tightly in a blanket. We called a small transit van and we all headed to the family home in the countryside (with her body in tow). Upon arrival, a bed was moved into the front living area, and she was placed there to rest for 8hrs. After that, finally moved to a coffin, were she will remain for 48 further hours, before being buried in the back garden.

    Oh, and during the funeral, the immediate family all wear some natty white KKK overalls.
    I work with a Samoan girl and she gave me the run down of her cultures mourning process and I got to say a 45 minute service plus a trip to the cemetary is my limit.

    She said they have a month long service for everyone to pay respects with the coffin open for the 1st 4 days unless the body goes off. I would start to get rather annoyed being around other peoples various states of grieving after a couple of days.

  40. #90
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    @phonics. If those mannequins want to get a threesome going. I'm available. They took fire from the back.

  41. #91
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Yeah, add friction burns to your issues, Sincere. That'll soothe the pain.

  42. #92
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    No idea what they're even trying to sell me now because this definitely isn't a swimsuit


  43. #93
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Bondage gear and now asian sexdolls?

    No idea where that could be coming from . . .

  44. #94
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    How much are the dolls? For research purposes of course.

  45. #95
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Phonics 'there's no such thing as targeted marketing' platform is dying on its arse. The kinky cunt.

  46. #96
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Wouldnt even pull out

  47. #97
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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    At the moment I mainly get sponsored adds for baldness. Wont be too long untill the bots double down and suggest lifts because Im also a short cunt.

  48. #98
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Should just get your knees done.

  49. #99
    Senior Member Queenslander's Avatar
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  50. #100
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I tuned into Strictly Come Dancing as I was stupidly bored and perfectly caught the moment David James walked out to Three Lions.

    https://twitter.com/odeacon16/status...927771136?s=09

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