2019/2020 Pre-season Predictions

[Lewis]

United fans seem to be the only fans who realise that they have a binman. Frank Lampard is Tim Sherwood with a better side, mates in the media, and the shiniest club blazer you've ever seen.

[Manc]

To spend all this money and not replace the keeper is utter madness. Cut your losses with Kepa and give Blackman the gig.

[phonics]

You can tell Lampard is better than Sherwood because both teams Lampard has managed have had the same flaw. They can play but they can be got at.

I don’t rate Kepa at all but when a keeper is conceding more goals than shots blocked, it’s probably not his fault. Sczesny had similarly awful goal/shot on target record and then went to Italy and got Roma a clean sheet record (with Allison on the bench) and replaced Buffon. It’s a sign you’re conceding too many easy chances.

[Jimmy Floyd]

We don't have any defenders and don't defend well, but he's great at instilling confidence in young players and great at changing games with subs/tactical switches.

If we still leak three per game with Thiago Silva shouting/pointing and whispering well-chosen proverbs in the dressing room, and maybe with a keeper who has hands, then we can start asking Martinez-style questions of Lampard defensively. The stuff going forward is really pretty decent, and will be even better now we have chucked all these much better players at it.

[phonics]

I had no idea David Luiz was that key. You conceded 20 goals more and your attacking shape returned 6 more.

[Jimmy Floyd]

David Luiz was shite except in the odd random game when he decided to bother, same as he is for you. The difference to 18/19 was Kanté being fit and very good that year, when last year he was probably neither. Plus the football we played just wasn't as expansive under Sarri - it was just pass, pass, pass, backwards, sideways, wait for the opposition to shit the bed.

Attacking wise, I mean, we had a firing Hazard in 18/19 so I'm pretty sure Frank's lot are net about +15 or more.

[phonics]

Fair I forgot about Kante.

I’m not saying Lampard is bad but other people could do a better job.

[Don]

Everyone else is saying he's bad though. And with a short fuse so absolutely buzzing to see him fly off the handle when the pressure is turned on from the off this season and he faces up against Klopp's number two or Bielsa and Leeds