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Thread: Chess

  1. #1
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Chess



    Been playing loads of chess the last month or so. Was an enthusiastic but shit player as a kid, didn't learn anything except the rules, then got bored of beating my half cut dad every weekend.

    Played @phonics a few times recently while we were both off our tits, which sounds like the premise of an awful Vice podcast but was a good laugh and renewed my interest. Last few weeks all I've done extra is read BOBBY FISCHER TEACHES CHESS and watch a load of "TOP 10 WORST MISTAKES CHESS NOOBS MAKE" style youtube videos, and my ELO rating has skyrocketed. Mr Blue Skyrocketed, if you will.

    I'm now on ~800, which is still like the chess equivalent of having a 50 golf handicap but chess.com tells me I've played a few games at nearly grandmaster standard, which is definitely not a way for them to cynically motivate me to pay for their premium package. Not a chance.

    Any other players, lapsed or otherwise? plz play me xx

  2. #2
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    He wonders why I stopped playing with him when he was already smashing me prior to reading books about it like a nerd.

    I got 2 or 3 wins and one of them was me putting his moves into a chess computer and just copying it. Igor cheats by thinking 2-3 moves ahead instead of reacting to whatever happened last turn.

  3. #3
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I was in Chess club in secondary school, not because I liked it all that much or was any good (I was shit) but it was something to do when the weather outside was shit.

    Recently been playing Really Bad Chess on my phone which is quite fun.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Is there a decent app to play people on? I'll play.

  5. #5
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    chess.com

    The game reports are absolutely brutal. Here's my last match v Igor where I thought I was winning and then he moved his queen twice and I lost.

    Here's how often the AI thinks I played the right move vs the nerd reading books

  6. #6
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Shirley @Jimmy Floyd plays.

  7. #7
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Counting it as 1-1 after I got screwed by the clock.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    Shirley @Jimmy Floyd plays.
    I do, although I'm not that good and you'll need to catch me on a night when I'm not knackered from cricket. I kind of play like Tony Pulis would.

  9. #9
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I do, although I'm not that good and you'll need to catch me on a night when I'm not knackered from cricket. I kind of play like Tony Pulis would.
    Okay deal, make a chess.com account and we'll play some time.

  10. #10
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Used to play chess pretty hardcore up until about 8th grade. Donít think iíve played a game in 5 years tho

  11. #11
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    chess.com

    The game reports are absolutely brutal. Here's my last match v Igor where I thought I was winning and then he moved his queen twice and I lost.

    Here's how often the AI thinks I played the right move vs the nerd reading books
    Is a 'brilliant' move better than a 'best move'? What's 'book' mean?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm guessing 'brilliant' is something that cracks the game open and only available in certain situations, whereas 'best move' is just the best available move.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Igor slaughtered me in two games last night. I'm shit.

  14. #14
    Romulus Augustulus ItalAussie's Avatar
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    I used to be half-decent at school, but I got to the point where I was going to have to start learning openings and such, and I knew I was done.

    Barely played since.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    I enjoy it, and used to be decent for a kid, as a kid. But now I'm terrible. Still, I enjoy it.

  16. #16
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Just play your kid at it in a few years.

    I reasonably recently came across the en passant rule, although I don't think I've played in about a decade. I find the very essence of chess to be infuriating, just knowing there is a right move out there and that if you weren't such an idiot you'd see it annoys me.

  17. #17
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    chess.com

    The game reports are absolutely brutal. Here's my last match v Igor where I thought I was winning and then he moved his queen twice and I lost.

    Here's how often the AI thinks I played the right move vs the nerd reading books
    The difference a few games make



    Still lost most of them but I managed to make a fist of even the lost ones.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He's proper superkeepered you there.

  19. #19
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    He made 6 blunders to 0, I think phonics was the Karius in this game

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