Housemates

[Spammer]

Here's the thread to talk/moan about housemates and all that fun stuff.

In my flat on Friday night and went to ask my housemate something. Her door was half open so I went in to ask her and she was sat in front of her computer without any kit on. Awkward. She came to the door in her dressing gown and I noticed she had loads of obvious make-up on - big red lipstick, loads of eye stuff etc. She wasn't planning on going out but just wanted to put make-up on because she felt like it, apparently.

So yeah, I reckon she's a camwhore.

[wullie]

Seeing you walk into the shot in the background put me right off.

[SvN]

If there's ever been a thread that's worthless without pics, it's this one.

[Sam]

Was she good looking?

[Spammer]

She's alright. She could probably make a bit of money as a camwhore anyway.

[igor_balis]

I'll go and get the video of my kitchen.

[Spammer]

So my housemate who's got a bit of a screw loose has gone full mental recently and has apparently disappeared.

I feel a bit awful for saying it, but I don't really care. All she does is say horrible and inappropriate things to and about everyone, and my way of dealing with it has just been to detach from her completely. Other housemate is finding it harder.

[Shindig]

The fella upstairs seems to have left on Wednesday without knocking his light off or locking his front door.

[Spammer]

Batty housemate turned up about 6pm.

Wouldn't be anything to worry about but she put a 1000 word cry for help on Facebook a few days ago about how hard it is to live with depression, so we were a bit worried she might have offed herself.

[GS]

Did your housemate not react when you walked in on her?

[Spammer]

She was just like 'ahh!' and I was like 'sorry!' and closed the door, and then she came to the door in her dressing gown. I think she said 'shit!' to herself before opening the door.

[Giggles]

Sounds like an attention seeking cunt. Encourage her.

[Lewis]

I once heard Czech Murderer shouting at his bird (the one he used to hide), and when I went to get a drink he came storming out of his room in just his pants and a shirt with a camera around his neck, ran down the stairs, came seething back up with a bunch of bin liners in his hand, and slammed the door behind him. I was stood on the landing doing my best Cornette Face throughout, and he didn't make eye contact once. Legend.

[Danny]

So my housemate who's got a bit of a screw loose has gone full mental recently and has apparently disappeared.

I feel a bit awful for saying it, but I don't really care. All she does is say horrible and inappropriate things to and about everyone, and my way of dealing with it has just been to detach from her completely. Other housemate is finding it harder.

Batty housemate turned up about 6pm.

Wouldn't be anything to worry about but she put a 1000 word cry for help on Facebook a few days ago about how hard it is to live with depression, so we were a bit worried she might have offed herself.

[Raoul Duke]

She was just like 'ahh!' and I was like 'sorry!' and closed the door, and then she came to the door in her dressing gown. I think she said 'shit!' to herself before opening the door.

Why didn't you knock? Seems like a weird thing to just barge into someone's room.

I once heard Czech Murderer shouting at his bird (the one he used to hide), and when I went to get a drink he came storming out of his room in just his pants and a shirt with a camera around his neck, ran down the stairs, came seething back up with a bunch of bin liners in his hand, and slammed the door behind him. I was stood on the landing doing my best Cornette Face throughout, and he didn't make eye contact once. Legend.

Sounds like that scene in fight club where Brad Pitt answers the door with a rubber glove on.

I once had one of my uni housemates run out of her room with her tits out when I was walking up the hallway

[Spammer]

As the day went on I got a bit worried.

Why didn't you knock? Seems like a weird thing to just barge into someone's room.

Her door was quite open already; I could have seen her from the hall if I'd come from the other direction.

[Shindig]

Okay, so I went to the flat upstairs just to switch their landing light off. There are keys still in the door. Going to give the letting agency a ring tomorrow. Either he's away and the set is a spare or he's left and the agency's left a set there by accident. Looks like a spare set. Might just leave this one.

[The Merse]

I'm not sure I can wait until tomorrow for this mystery to be solved.

Edit - fucking edits. You're not going to follow it up now? Have some consideration for us (me) Shindig... I've not taken particularly well to Mr Robot. Fucking get up there and rummage about for some clues.

If however it smells a bit rank then do stay away from man sized holdalls/chests.

[Clunge]

My nine foot tall Czech cagefighter housemate disappeared without a trace about a month ago. Utterly bizarre.

[Shindig]

I'm not sure I can wait until tomorrow for this mystery to be solved.

Edit - fucking edits. You're not going to follow it up now? Have some consideration for us (me) Shindig... I've not taken particularly well to Mr Robot. Fucking get up there and rummage about for some clues.

If however it smells a bit rank then do stay away from man sized holdalls/chests.

Nah, I'll just play the long game. If it starts stinking, I'll give the agents a ring, He's an epileptic pisshead so it could've gone a bit Bonn Scott. Or he could be in hospital or on holiday. He's got form for being gone for the odd stretch.

[Shindig]

Couldn't contain myself. Went up there to check the place out. He left all the lights on (that weren't blown) and has done a runner. Spare keys are in the door and his mattress is on the landing.

[Foe]

My flat mate is leaving today to move back down south . He's got a pretty cool job in an F1 team lined up mind (not a driver, obvs) and some personal reasonsso can't blame him .

The last flatmate did the same.

No more spotter in the gym either.

[igor_balis]

I've left Edinburgh for good now. Asked my flatmate to cart a couple of bags of my shit to the storage unit down the road, even offered him £50, but he said no so I had to get a pissing 10 hour round train journey to do it myself.

I know it is my own fault for not sorting it out earlier, and it was his prerogative to tell me to piss off, but it was still a pain in the fucking arse. I'd have done it for free if roles were reversed.

My housemate is now my mother again, for the next few months. Preferable to Edinburgh man in all honesty.

[Spammer]

The flatmate I'm really close with has moved out this week. She's probably my closest friend up here and I really miss her being in the next room. She's only up the road but it's hit me these last couple of days how different it is . Other flatmate (camwhore flatmate) is alright I guess, though she can be annoying and isn't really good at the whole 'listening to what you are saying' thing.

Her replacement seems alright. He has a PS4 and likes wrestling. He just spent 3 hours playing Diablo in the front room.

[Baz]

You should invite igor_balis to move in.

[Shindig]

Apparently the guy upstairs ran off because of some police involvement. The place is now locked up.

[Spammer]

Weird dynamic shift in my gaff.

Beforehand there was me, nice housemate and moaning housemate. Nice housemate has moved up the road now though and nice male housemate has moved in.

Moaning housemate tends to get properly vitriolic about everything if given half a chance, and me and old housemate learned not to entertain it for the sake of our own sanity. New housemate hasn't learned that though, and was sat there listening to her spit venom at everything for quite a while earlier. I'm hoping that he's just in the 'be nice all the time' stage that can happen when you don't know people that well, and that he'll deal with it properly in his own way after a couple of weeks. I'm worried though that he's simply too nice to ever just tell her to fuck off though, even if it's affecting him negatively.

The dude's just come out of a relationship and seems in a bit of a bad way - he needs time away from that kind of negativity - and the last thing he needs is to listen to her spout shit all the time. Thing is, I suspect he thinks I'm a bit of a cunt for not having time for her. Will be interesting to see how this pans out, as he needs to figure it out himself and I'm wary of just saying "she's a horrible cow mate, just stay away" as at this stage, before he's figured it out himself, it might make him wary of me rather than her.

[Spammer]

It's funny that this post follows the last one.

Things have been ok with moany housemate generally over the last few months. Largely because she moans and spits venom at everything and nowadays I respond with humour. It stops me from taking on her vitriol because I don't want to take that on when I'm at home -I get enough heavy shit at work and counselling and I want to relax when I'm at home. I'd be happy to listen to her but she just spews poison at things and generally comes out with very cynical comments and it got to the stage where I had to figure out a different way of doing things for my own good.

But now she's got pissy at me for belittling her when she moans about things. Me and male housemate were having a chat in our Whatsapp group about Trump and all this other shit, and she asked us to take it somewhere else. Then she got involved in that very same Whatsapp group. And then she got furious at me a bit later for ignoring her request to leave.

Anyway, she started shouting and generally just embarrassed herself. Apparently she's really upset at me though. Apparently it's due to me not taking her moaning seriously, and she wants to talk to me about it later. So I'm going to explain to her, with all sincerity, that I find her toxic and take the piss so I don't have to deal with her bullshit. Looking forward to it.

[phonics]

Just get the Arnie soundboard out and every time she raises her voice play the "Stop Whining" bit. Done.

[Giggles]

Telling people I don't give one tiny fuck about anything they think, do, or say is about the only thing I miss about house sharing. People can have an awful sense of self importance and she sounds right at the top of the scale.

[Pepe]

Just go live alone. Housesharing.

[Disco]

Just get the Arnie soundboard out and every time she raises her voice play the "Stop Whining" bit. Done.

'Let off some steam Bennett!' would be more appropriate, perhaps shoddily dubbing her name over the end.

[Giggles]

The Arnie soundboard is so brilliant. We killed hours years ago using that to phone in to the factory floor from the bullpens.

[Ian]

Telling people I don't give one tiny fuck about anything they think, do, or say is about the only thing I miss about house sharing.

A frank "I don't care" can be brutal to the right sort of person who would rather you said something offensive and get into a row.

Good old apathy.

[Spammer]

Turns out she's going out on a date tonight, so we haven't spoken.

This might turn out to be pretty bad news though, because she might be going on a date with a bloke I work with. She came up to me a while back with a Tinder profile of a bloke she was chatting to who told her works for the same place that I work at. Turns out I kinda know him. I saw him about a week or so and we chatted about it. He asked me what she was like and I said that she's alright but she moans a lot. He joked that he'd tell her what I'd said. If she's out with him and he mentions it then that'd be pretty bad timing.

[mugbull]

Hahaha

[mugbull]

You'll be dead this time tomorrow bub.

[Boydy]

I really hope he tells her.

[Bartholomert]

I greatly prefer living alone, but at the same time having at least one roommate keeps me more honest when it comes to hygiene, keeping things clean, going to class, doing homework, going to the gym, etc.

[Giggles]

You'll wake up tonight with her standing at the end of your bed.

RIP @Hammer

[Adamski]

I greatly prefer living alone, but at the same time having at least one roommate keeps me more honest when it comes to hygiene, keeping things clean, going to class, doing homework, going to the gym, etc.

Hygiene again? what the fuck.

[Lewis]

This 'super moon' is a fucking bust.

[Pen]

Is roommate the same as housemate, but in American English? I suspect it is, but if teen comedies haven't lied to roommate literally means roommate there.

[Spammer]

I didn't notice he used 'roommate'. I'd hate having a roommate, I need my own space. Flatmates are fine for me though.

When I shared a bed with my ex it was hard enough, and I'd genuinely consider having separate rooms once I'm in that situation again. Separate rooms with a lot of sharing beds though, obvs

[Jimmy Floyd]

I liked the Basil and Sybil Fawlty setup with two single beds in the same room.

[Giggles]

You'll wake up tonight with her standing at the end of your bed.

RIP @Hammer

I fully blame me saying this for waking up dreaming about a kid standing beside my bed staring at me in the small hours of this morning. The Mrs said I just woke up, punched the lamp on the bedside cabinet, and went back to sleep.

[Pen]

Best way to live is by yourself. If I had money I'd just buy two flats next to each other and live in them with the missus, not that I mind the current living situation but everything would be easier with 'unlimited' personal space. Housemates were great to have when living in a new city, but I doubt I could manage to live with mates or let alone randomers anymore now that I actually have some responsibilities.

[mugbull]

I'd definitely want roommates until i'm like 26-27. Always have ppl to talk to and chill out with. As long as you can vet them in advance somehow.

/ obviously not in the same room...

[leedsrevolution]

I literally can't be alone. I start going mental. After 2 days I'm a fucking wreck. Having people around keeps me in line for some reason.

If our lass ever had to work away for a few months god knows what would happen to me. She'd probs come home to me like this:

https://youtu.be/AQMNSIKThVo

[Spammer]

Not seen housemate since she went on that date. She texted me apologising for shouting at me, and i said no worries, and I've only seen her since since when she came into the living room and ignored me.

Meanwhile I think other housemate is annoyed because we were chatting about 'social justice' and I said I'd judge whether or not anyone gives a shit from what they do with their actual lives, because it's easy to talk about caring but not many people go out and do stuff, and if you just talk then you're probably full of shit.

I suggested he was nothing but hot air, basically. Which is true. Thus was on WhatsApp. He came in and seemed pretty terse with me. That might be my imagination though. I kinda want them both to be seething at some home truths though, because ive held back for too long tbh. Public enemy No.1