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Thread: Football, innit (24th. 25th & 26th Nov)

  1. #51
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I would sack him for that first paragraph. Forget that he sat and wrote that, and then he submitted it thinking it was clever and/or funny. It's the paint-by-numbers opening you get in every single one of these articles regardless of who writes them. It's either a shit anecdote, previously untold due to its utter irrelevance, or some strained to fuck allusion of wank.

    With the death of President Franklin D. Roosevelt on 12 April 1945, beleaguered wartime leader Adolf Hitler had, amidst the doom and gloom, a renewed sense of optimism. His birthday was only a week away, and his long-term girlfriend had recently agreed to move in with him. Eighteen days later he shot himself rather than be taken alive by invading Soviet forces that had, over the preceding months, obliterated his armies and uncovered the shocking remnants of the worse genocide in history.

    Following their improbable comeback victory over Juventus in mid-week, Jose Mourinho finds himself at a similar crossroads as his team prepares to take on their crosstown rivals. Five years on from their last league title, the 'Noisy Neighbour' might not sound much like the Soviet shelling that greeted Hitler as he blew the candles out on his fifty-sixth birthday cake, but...

    Five-hundred quid. Invoice in the post.

  2. #52
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    That was a quite entertaining 2 paragraphs. You should have been writing a blog all these years instead of posting on here/writing about shit no-one cares about like a mong. You could be at least at a Jacob Steinberg level by now.

  3. #53
    I used to be funny.
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    He'd have a Patreon and a podcast and everything. And a proper published book like those things Zoella puts out.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I'd read your articles, Lou.

  5. #55
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    If Daniel Storey, a perfectly competent writer with all the same opinions as anyone else, can make a career to the point he's now on Sky Sports/BT then you could have donned it.

    Instead you chose to talk about crappy old bombs shaped like the rocket from Wallace & Gromit

  6. #56
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    On the Argie shite, I don't understand why they are 'postponing' the final. Surely the trophy must be awarded to Boca, and River prevented from participating in any future ediition. Same applies to anyone else attacking team buses. It's not trivial. One day a gang/terrorists will go and shoot a team bus up. Already happened in cricket.

  7. #57
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You're such a reactionary.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    And you're probably one of those people who thinks football violence is edgy and cool because it was all just standing up to Fatcher wannit.

  9. #59
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    “Prevented from participating from any further edition”

    Sound like you’re chronically frustrated with being irrelevant and want your opinion to be heard. The 30 year old’s version of I Shat Myself On The Playground

  10. #60
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/...50491.html?amp

    There has never been a wankier headline.

  11. #61
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    And you're probably one of those people who thinks football violence is edgy and cool because it was all just standing up to Fatcher wannit.
    You should heed the wisdom of 'Grady's mate', or whoever it was in manc sean's old signature.

  12. #62
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Phonics calling someone a reactionary has made my day.

  13. #63
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    “Prevented from participating from any further edition”

    Sound like you’re chronically frustrated with being irrelevant and want your opinion to be heard. The 30 year old’s version of I Shat Myself On The Playground
    Don't be too reactionary about it, my little flower.

  14. #64
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Has Jordan Henderson purposely tried to look like Ross Barkley, with his new hairdo and clean shaven look? Made me bloody cold just looking at him yesterday.
    I'm a twit

  15. #65
    Senior Member Trancemeister's Avatar
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    Amazing own goal by Lerma

  16. #66
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Arsenal are due a pummelling whenever they next play someone good.

  17. #67
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dino View Post
    Arsenal are due a pummelling whenever they next play someone good.
    That's what they said about the Liverpool match.

  18. #68
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Is the Copa America cancelled again?

  19. #69
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Yep. Well, Copa Libertadores has been according to Vickery.

  20. #70
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Ah yes. Boca asking for it to be called off apparently.

  21. #71
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Vickery just now - "Meeting - probably on Tuesday - to decide date (and maybe venue) of second leg. Can't be next weekend - G20 in town. Just time the following weekend for the winner to make it to the UAE for Club World Cup (S American team in action on 18/12)"

  22. #72
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Don't be too reactionary about it, my little flower.
    No u

  23. #73
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They should just play it in secret somewhere and announce the result afterwards, like when Saint e-mailed Tim Vickery a load of shit and then claimed victory when he asked how old he was and gave up.

  24. #74
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Vickery and Saint was such a good rivalry.

  25. #75
    I used to be funny.
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    Four points clear.

  26. #76
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Libertadores going ahead early next month now but not in Argentina.

  27. #77
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Rashford isn't great at chipping.

  28. #78
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm going to miss De Gea.

  29. #79
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    He wants to start acting like Messi/Neymar and getting managers sacked.

  30. #80
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    He can do whatever he wants.

  31. #81
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    If Lyon could defend from set pieces then they could be world beaters.

  32. #82
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Fellainimania running wild to save Mourinho.

    Those two deserve each other.

  33. #83
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    The drink smash

    Utd are fucking awful.

  34. #84
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Fucking tragic. I'd almost rather lose at this point.

  35. #85
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Lads, I'm not watching this but am I to understand that Fellainimania just RAN WILD?

  36. #86
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    I used to teach Sol Pryce, who made his debut for Swindon Town tonight and scored twice (first after 14 seconds).

  37. #87
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Lads, I'm not watching this but am I to understand that Fellainimania just RAN WILD?
    You'd be frothing with glee at the finish.

    He actually used his foot.

  38. #88
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Oh. Great. Thanks. Now I'm aroused.

  39. #89
    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BBC
    There hasn't been this much disdain for a watercarrier at Old Trafford since Eric Cantona was asked for his opinion on international team-mate Didier Deschamps.
    Fair play Beeb, well done.

  40. #90
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Jackpot.


  41. #91
    Senior Member SincereTheRebel's Avatar
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    Postpone it all the way to the european champions league final and put it on the undercard

  42. #92
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Lovren against this attack?

  43. #93
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It's 3-3 in the match between Villa and Forest and there's 10 minutes until half time.

  44. #94
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Well this is disheartening.

  45. #95
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Fox View Post
    Well this is disheartening.
    It's absolutely woeful.

  46. #96
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm quite enjoying it tbh.

  47. #97
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    It's 3-3 in the match between Villa and Forest and there's 10 minutes until half time.
    Calmed down after the break ending 5-5.

  48. #98
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Given how card happy that ref seemed, how on earth did Veratti stay on the pitch to the end?

  49. #99
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    Neymar is still shite.

  50. #100
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    Nevermind tonight. Alan Hutton

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