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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3501
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    A mobile phone, you say? Like, a telephone, but you can take it around with you and answer it while not at your office desk?

  2. #3502
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    A mobile phone, you say? Like, a telephone, but you can take it around with you and answer it while not at your office desk?
    I guess it seems like a big deal to me because I'd resigned myself to UNIVERSAL CREDIT and SUICIDE.

  3. #3503
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I think he's more mocking his own situation.

  4. #3504
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I think he's more mocking his own situation.
    I can't as my speciality is fixed line telephony, so he may mock but it will never cease.

  5. #3505
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I can't as my speciality is fixed line telephony, so he may mock but it will never cease.
    No I meant that I thought Jimmy was referring to him being forced to work in the office.

    Out of interest how are they doing three weeks of onboarding from home or have they not ironed that all out yet?

  6. #3506
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    No I meant that I thought Jimmy was referring to him being forced to work in the office.

    Out of interest how are they doing three weeks of onboarding from home or have they not ironed that all out yet?
    Webinars (including partner training ones), screen sharing, and mostly going over T&Cs and processes, plus the internal systems. I don't need any other onboarding in terms of industry or products which is such a massive advantage especially at this time.

    It'll be extremely weird to be part of a team I've never met. Can't wait to get down there. Plus I don't have a company car until this is over.

  7. #3507
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    It'll be extremely weird to be part of a team I've never met.
    We were discussing this at work because our switch to WFH has (for the wider department we're in, at least) been very successful and we wouldn't be at all surprised if they look to make this the norm with smaller offices dotted about rather than paying whatever small fortune it is for an office in the middle of Glasgow. New starters were one of the main things we brought up because it'd be really hard to properly integrate into the team if you're only ever speaking to them on Teams or whatever.

  8. #3508
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    No I meant that I thought Jimmy was referring to him being forced to work in the office.
    This.

    The MD has just announced we will not be changing the furlough situation for 'the foreseeable future'. He says business is at '50-60%', though I know my territories are at 83% as of yesterday so I am clearly a fucking underpaid legend.

  9. #3509
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    We got told last week that the first furlough rotation is happening in a couple of weeks so I guess the plan is to do it in 4 week blocks until things hopefully start improving again.

  10. #3510
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    This.

    The MD has just announced we will not be changing the furlough situation for 'the foreseeable future'. He says business is at '50-60%', though I know my territories are at 83% as of yesterday so I am clearly a fucking underpaid legend.
    I hope you are pressing this home and dropping some serious hints about seeking a pay rise or a new position?

  11. #3511
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I hope you are pressing this home and dropping some serious hints about seeking a pay rise or a new position?
    Not just now while we're locked in limbo, but once things ease up I will be making reference to it.

  12. #3512
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What do you reckon? Ł50 Amazon voucher? It's what my lot would do.

  13. #3513
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I saw my pay was Ł38 higher than usual this month and wondered if El Presidente had chucked in a pack of toilet rolls each for keeping the ship afloat, but in fact it just seems to be some kind of tax change or variation that I can't be bothered to look up.

  14. #3514
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The woman I don’t like has been redeployed and now has people ringing her personal mobile asking boring council stuff like when are bins being collected and reports of broken alleygate locks.

    Meanwhile I’ve watched Monsters Inc and Monsters University so far today.
    I'm a twit

  15. #3515
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I am wilting here. Mornings are OK but every afternoon the pressure just piles on relentlessly. Desperate customers, my 4 bosses all being different types of cunt simultaneously, absolutely no way of relieving the onslaught other than coming on here and venting. I need about 8 hours sleep at the moment when it would normally be 6.

    The worst part is because I am the only one left to take phone calls (I would normally take like 20% of our incoming phone calls), any time I try to get anything meaningful done the phone rings 3 times in a row and it's fucked. Sometimes the phone will ring again while I'm still on to a customer, and it just rings into oblivion because there's no one left to handle it.

  16. #3516
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The same advice I have given twice previously applies. You need to do less. Much less.

  17. #3517
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    If it's made you up your sleep from what was no doubt an insufficient 6 hours to a far more recommended 8 hours, I suggest you buy them a gift. They may well have saved you from a host of negative outcomes if you maintain it.

  18. #3518
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    One of my 4 bosses (the one who loves my work, because it makes him commission) has promised me a 'restaurant blowout' when this is over, a nice gesture albeit one I don't expect to see redeemed this side of 2035.

  19. #3519
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    I'm always so desperately in love with my co-workers but this one, however, is married with children.

    But by God I tell you what if he fucked off with the kids

  20. #3520
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    You’re a breakdown waiting to happen Jim if you try and keep this up. Tractor engines really don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

    A pals company thinks the normal workforce returning to work will be a 2021 activity..

    You got any decent noise cancelling headphones? Then you can just let the phone ring out when you’re trying to get something done.

  21. #3521
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    What do you want me to do, quit and have no income? Or just sit there not doing work to be chased up on it an hour later?

    In sales you can't really let things slide, it's not like project work. Either you get the deal or you don't. And it moves so, so fast in this industry. If you don't quote someone within a couple of hours they scream and cry until you do, as machine down costs them hundreds/thousands a day and we are often their only way out.

    They transfer that desperation onto you, which in normal times is ok as there's a team around me and we all back each other up. Now it's only me, things are rather more stressful.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 29-04-2020 at 05:01 PM.

  22. #3522
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Can they not bring someone else back off furlough?

  23. #3523
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Can they not bring someone else back off furlough?
    They're not going to, at least not before June.

  24. #3524
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    They're not going to, at least not before June.
    ...because you’re running yourself into the ground trying to keep up.

    You’re in a difficult spot absolutely, the point we are trying to bang home is you’re letting it bring down yourself and affect your mental health. Which is absolutely not the right thing to do. If you slow it down and work at a sustainable level and sales slip because of it (because there’s not enough support) the business will listen, or suffer for it.

    What happens if you get sick? The company will need another solution. Keep banging the door about call divert and working from home.

    Look after yourself. Vent all you need here, but the advice we are giving you isn’t likely to change.

  25. #3525
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    Ps hope you have good snacks.

    I’m back to being super fat again. Going to have to take up running.

  26. #3526
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    What do you want me to do, quit and have no income? Or just sit there not doing work to be chased up on it an hour later?

    In sales you can't really let things slide, it's not like project work. Either you get the deal or you don't. And it moves so, so fast in this industry. If you don't quote someone within a couple of hours they scream and cry until you do, as machine down costs them hundreds/thousands a day and we are often their only way out.

    They transfer that desperation onto you, which in normal times is ok as there's a team around me and we all back each other up. Now it's only me, things are rather more stressful.
    This isn't your problem, it's your manager's. If you don't have enough bandwidth to address all the incoming sales then they will make less money - you need to be specific in a) your complaint and b) have a suggested solution to resolve it.

    Anyone in their position with half a brain would bring someone back from furlough and help lighten the load. Capacity planning is a fundamental management task.

  27. #3527
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    What do you want me to do, quit and have no income? Or just sit there not doing work to be chased up on it an hour later?

    In sales you can't really let things slide, it's not like project work. Either you get the deal or you don't. And it moves so, so fast in this industry. If you don't quote someone within a couple of hours they scream and cry until you do, as machine down costs them hundreds/thousands a day and we are often their only way out.

    They transfer that desperation onto you, which in normal times is ok as there's a team around me and we all back each other up. Now it's only me, things are rather more stressful.
    Jim, I say this with love, but do you ever wonder if your managers take the piss because, well, because of this?

    You are far too eager to please. Fuck the deal, fuck the sale, fuck the lost revenue. Your boss said it himself. They're running at 60% capacity. You said earlier that you normally shoulder 20%. You should have 2 coworkers in.

    He's. Taking. The. Piss.

  28. #3528
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Another way of putting it is that I have a work ethic and that is maybe part of the reason why I am still earning a full salary and don't potentially have the axe hanging over me, like my furloughed colleagues do. There isn't a lot I can do about whether they bring furloughed colleagues back. If they paid me more to do this I'd be ok, but when the company has 25 people on furlough and are not sanctioning warehouse overtime because of that (even when it's in their interests to do so) then it's literally pointless bringing that up.

    I've accepted the situation as the best way I have of paying the mortgage while a pandemic is on, but it is still knackering as fuck.

  29. #3529
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    This isn't your problem, it's your manager's. If you don't have enough bandwidth to address all the incoming sales then they will make less money - you need to be specific in a) your complaint and b) have a suggested solution to resolve it.

    Anyone in their position with half a brain would bring someone back from furlough and help lighten the load. Capacity planning is a fundamental management task.
    This. It's the ideal time to raise a concern Jim. You're grafting so you should be shouting about it and laying the ground work on your rise. Don't let them weasel.

  30. #3530
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Oh, I tell him every day that I am mental busy and it's hard to get everything done etc. That's very different to telling him how to do his job on the management side.

  31. #3531
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    This isn't your problem, it's your manager's. If you don't have enough bandwidth to address all the incoming sales then they will make less money - you need to be specific in a) your complaint and b) have a suggested solution to resolve it.

    Anyone in their position with half a brain would bring someone back from furlough and help lighten the load. Capacity planning is a fundamental management task.
    Every one of you up to now who has let this slide; we need to have words.

  32. #3532
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've started using 'capacity' just because other people do and it's got less repercussions than 'i'm busy, fuck off'

  33. #3533
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    There's a bloke at work that 'touches base' left right and centre. I want to cut his face off.

  34. #3534
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    What do you want me to do, quit and have no income? Or just sit there not doing work to be chased up on it an hour later?

    In sales you can't really let things slide, it's not like project work. Either you get the deal or you don't. And it moves so, so fast in this industry. If you don't quote someone within a couple of hours they scream and cry until you do, as machine down costs them hundreds/thousands a day and we are often their only way out.

    They transfer that desperation onto you, which in normal times is ok as there's a team around me and we all back each other up. Now it's only me, things are rather more stressful.
    Willy Loman over here.

  35. #3535
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    There's a bloke at work that 'touches base' left right and centre. I want to cut his face off.
    Was it on this board or the previous one we had a thread for all those hateful management phrases? 'Let's run that up the flagpole and see who salutes' should see you publicly hanged.

  36. #3536
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    That's just blue sky thinking.

  37. #3537
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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  38. #3538
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    "Backcomb the living shit out of this hairball"

  39. #3539
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I didn't have an opinion on Dominic Calvert Lewin before but that run of form before Corona and this from the other day and now he's firmly in 'Top Lad' territory.


  40. #3540
    I used to be funny.
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    He was having way too much fun with that. Rumours are going round India wants more bodies from us because of their lockdown. That would leave about 3 people in the office at this rate. It'd be another line on the CV, I suppose.

  41. #3541
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Was it on this board or the previous one we had a thread for all those hateful management phrases? 'Let's run that up the flagpole and see who salutes' should see you publicly hanged.
    I don't know so I dunno if it's recent enough for me to have said that we started making them up to mock a manager at my old work (he loved a bit of "a chain is only as strong as its weakest link" and "teamwork makes the dream work".) It was fun until he started using them.

    It's all well and good telling him you think the team should throw some ideas around in the think-wok and fry up some solutions but then the dickhead went "Yes! Brilliant! Exactly that!"

  42. #3542
    I used to be funny.
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    I don't think anything will disgust me more than seeing, "Get your nom on." in an email relating to a buffet. Management wasn't responsible for that one, thankfully.

  43. #3543
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    One more for the thought fridge.

  44. #3544
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Let's circle back Let's circle back Let's circle back

  45. #3545
    Senior Member
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    I was rota'd in to work yesterday - 12 kids in school, half were absolute arseholes. Makes you wonder what these key worker parents are like. Then had a two hour meeting in the evening with my boss to determine this years GCSE History grades for our cohort. 75 kids discussed in a fair amount of detail. Ranking is quite hard though because you have to decide on their final grade and then across three classes (one for each of us and one shared) rank them in order - so these seven kids get a five, then you have to decide most to least likely to have achieved that. Difficult when you don't know each other's class. But aside from any SLT interference, it's done.

  46. #3546
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just taken five to count up how many emails I have sent so far this week. 265

    Managed 86 on Monday, that is one every 5.87 minutes.

  47. #3547
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    And this is how Jimmy goes crazy, treating this as a high score to be beaten.

  48. #3548
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Just taken five to count up how many emails I have sent so far this week. 265

    Managed 86 on Monday, that is one every 5.87 minutes.
    You can set up a filter in outlook to count it for you. I have one for mails in - today's been relatively quiet with 150.

  49. #3549
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    Can't you just highlight the mail from this week and it'll say "x items" or something?

  50. #3550
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Or just, not count them.

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