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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2501
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Not the middle of the day, as he was leaving. Common thing to do in Mexico, but who knows what you weirdos might or might not do.

  2. #2502
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Shaking hands with a co-worker every day? Yeah, we're the weirdos.

  3. #2503
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Not the middle of the day, as he was leaving. Common thing to do in Mexico, but who knows what you weirdos might or might not do.
    If he was leaving the job then fine but if someone is going around looking handshakes because they're going home for the day then they need a good slap so it only happens the once.

  4. #2504
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I understand that the French go around shaking hands with all their co-workers at the start and end of each day, but no, it isn't done here.

  5. #2505
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’ve met some Poles that go for that craic too. You can gauge how long they’re here based on whether they still do it or not.

  6. #2506
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    A few years ago we had a Romanian that did it at the start of every day, shaking hands with everyone in the office. After about a fortnight he stopped.

  7. #2507
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Being in the French part of Switzerland I do the handshake/kisses thing but only outside work. However, I've worked in mostly International places.

  8. #2508
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We have a family friend who is notionally English but married a Frenchwoman and kind of 'became' French, the story goes that when he worked in London after 20 years in France he came in on the first day, shook everyone's hands, they all stood up and said nice to meet you. In second day, goes around, shakes everyone's hands, everyone's like erm... OK, I guess. Third day, eyebrows raised. Fourth day, listen, old chap, we need to have a little talk about this.

  9. #2509
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My time in my new branch has been absolutely the same as at my previous one. Absolutely nailing the customer interaction stuff, to the extent that I've overheard my new manager say a few times to my colleagues how shit hot I am, and even asked someone to keep an eye on how I talk to customers and see if they can learn anything from it (somehow this hasn't caused my new colleagues to massively resent me, thank christ). Similarly I'm absolutely shitting the bed on everything procedural and practical. My till was a GRAND short on Monday, to the extent that it had to be shut for 3 hours while my manager and AM tried to find it.

    AM was going through all my transactions and asking my colleague if she recognised any of the names, as a last resort to see if anything seemed out of character.

    AM: "do you know Miss X, [insert my colleague's name]?"
    Me: "oh! I remember serving her, deposited 1400 quid into her account"
    AM: "...Igor, the receipt says 2400..."
    Me "...shit."

    We even have a box that comes up that gets you to manually input exactly what notes were paid in, to avoid fuck-ups like that, and I'd still managed to input that she'd paid in 2 grand in twenties, when it was only 1 grand. Fucking hell. Management's policy in this branch is to get all of us cashier plebs to do all the different jobs so everyone can do a bit of everything, but I think they might make an exception and keep me the fuck away from the tills.

  10. #2510
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    lol someone has been suspended at work for fiddling their flex-time. Seeing as everybody does it, and seeing as nobody usually cares, you can only imagine the lengths they were going to to take the piss.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    They probably won't say anything, which is another lol aspect of it, because the unit itself barely follows any rules.
    My man got sacked. Gutted.

  11. #2511
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    My man got sacked. Gutted.
    Was he shit at his job and that was just a reason to get rid?

  12. #2512
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    In Mexico it was easy. Shake all men's hands, kiss all women's cheeks. Since I moved over here I never know what to do, the whole thing is weird as fuck.

  13. #2513
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    lol someone has been suspended at work for fiddling their flex-time. Seeing as everybody does it, and seeing as nobody usually cares, you can only imagine the lengths they were going to to take the piss.
    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Was he shit at his job and that was just a reason to get rid?
    He was more pointless than shit, but you can't just go around sacking people for that.

  14. #2514
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    My boss invited us for a drink last night and was half cryptic/half coherent on the future of our wider team and what appeared to be a "do you fancy joining me elsewhere" spiel. Probably would tbh if the pay improved and it was with the other guys.

    Managed to get on a conference as well in Amsterdam for a week in December which is cool.

  15. #2515
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I forgot how to do rudimentary trend calculations I probably learned when I was 13 and haven’t used since then. Curses.

    Also one question on the first part was something like ‘explain why there may have been a decrease this year?’ and I’m staring at my graph that’s basically

    The figures were cumulative and I didn't realise. So I added up all four quarters, instead of just taking the figure from Q4.

    Job interview didn't feel like a complete waste of time, even though all three of us knew it was. Ah well, find out before 4.
    I'm a twit

  16. #2516
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They were dipping into the reserve list from the last application process today to replace sack man, and the best reserve was discarded for 1) 'having a good degree' (meaning she would be gone in a year from the crappy position); and 2) being too good looking. No wonder it took me ages to find something.

  17. #2517
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Sounds about right.

  18. #2518
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You are just way too sexy.

  19. #2519
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Did her CV have a photo on?
    I'm a twit

  20. #2520
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    She brought her face to the interview.

  21. #2521
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Amateur.


  22. #2522
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Didn't get that job.
    I'm a twit

  23. #2523
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Handshakegate has taken a curious turn. Both of them are back in the office and nothing has happened... except today we seem to have randomly hired a new starter in the department, and there isn't a desk for him so he's been sent into the warehouse for a week to 'learn the ropes' (we all did this but only for 1 or 2 days).

    Maybe someone is going to get the bullet.

  24. #2524
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Got to work Christmas day. Boooooo.

  25. #2525
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm on call Christmas day and Boxing day (and then that weekend) but apparently in 9 years they've had one call over that period and I'll be getting the better part of £400 for it even if I don't take a call.

    Also my sister's in-laws are really annoying so if they start to hack me off I'll just pretend I've got a call and go and get some peace for half an hour.

  26. #2526
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    That's Halloween.

    EDIT: Out of the way.

  27. #2527
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You would think there would be enough Asian in a hospital to not need white people in on Christmas Day. Unless you have to keep an eye on them.

  28. #2528
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    Bro what

  29. #2529
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    You would think there would be enough Asian in a hospital to not need white people in on Christmas Day. Unless you have to keep an eye on them.

  30. #2530
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Bro what
    Lots of people in the medical profession are Asian English people, who don’t celebrate Christmas.
    I'm a twit

  31. #2531
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    IME even the ones who are of a religion which doesn't celebrate Christmas, they still mostly kinda do celebrate Christmas.

  32. #2532
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Bro what
    Don't worry, he means the brown ones.

  33. #2533
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    New office sucks. My seat is dreadful and it’s stiflingly hot.

    Only saving grace is it’s a pokestop on Pokemon Go.

    Also the stupid fat lesbian who i moaned about stealing my seat in the last office, has stolen someone else’s seat in the new place. I loudly told everyone it’s because all she does is go on the internet all day and doesn’t want anyone to see her screen.
    I'm a twit

  34. #2534
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I loudly told everyone it’s because all she does is go on the internet all day and doesn’t want anyone to see her screen.
    Soooo literally what you wanted it for? Respek.

  35. #2535
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Donned.

  36. #2536
    I used to be funny.
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    So the lad that left for Japan on sabbatical has now been given the boot. You can't really ask for an extension twice when you've married a lass over there, really. He's also changed his name to something Japanese which just makes me think this is all very suspicious.

  37. #2537
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    King long dong?

  38. #2538
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    How brexity is Southampton?

  39. #2539
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    You'd be lynched within a week.

  40. #2540
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Grand, I'll only be 2 nights.

  41. #2541
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Giggles is off to Peppa Pig world.

  42. #2542
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Well now I am.

  43. #2543
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    We'll need footage of you turning up with your bib and two pronged fork.

  44. #2544
    I used to be funny.
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    He's got one of those in the back of his van.

  45. #2545
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'll have the van and all, 200 miles down from Fishguard. If it's really dodge I'll make arrangements and fly though.


    .
    Last edited by Giggles; 16-11-2019 at 07:02 PM.

  46. #2546
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    SvN let's all meet.

  47. #2547
    I used to be funny.
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    Okay, the lad that left for Japan has no photos of his wedding to share because, "It's not the done thing over here." Definite nonce.

  48. #2548
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    Did you immediately, as I did, google Japanese weddings and ask many, many questions?

    Cause shiiiiit.

  49. #2549
    I used to be funny.
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    Yes. Yes, I did. In other news, Customer services want to borrow some of us because Monday's their busiest day of the week. Guess what our busiest day of the week is?

  50. #2550
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It’s 500 notes for the boat for a van. I’m going to have to fly now

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