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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2251
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    If Tronald puts some big banks out of business I might even vote for him next time.
    You won't get a vote where you're going, mate.

  2. #2252
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    France?

  3. #2253
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Deporting Mexico to France is the sort of thing Trump might try as an election promise, to be fair.

  4. #2254
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    HSBC are the dirtiest I reckon. There's the obvious reason why, then there's also what I know from working there.
    From what I've seen here. It's similar to Liverpool/City, these two are in a league of their own imo. UBS are shady but they're just copying off the big boys. BNP Paribas are a similar type of arsehole to the rest of them but they're feeding off crumbs in comparison.

    JPMorgan seem to fly under the radar here but considering their size they must be as knees deep in it as the top 2. They're very minimal though, you wouldn't know their office if you didn't work there.

  5. #2255
    The Airport King Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    How was your adventure smoke?
    Terrible. I snuck round the back and listened to gangster rap with my headphones only to find out later my daughter had been crying. #fathers4justice

  6. #2256
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Terrible. I snuck round the back and listened to gangster rap with my headphones only to find out later my daughter had been crying. #fathers4justice
    Yeah, that is pretty bad. Should have got Waff to come round and babysit whilst you got the bus somewhere quiet.

  7. #2257
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    HSBC are the dirtiest I reckon. There's the obvious reason why, then there's also what I know from working there.
    Barclays is* the worst.

    Toggle Spoiler


    *In 2011.
    I'm a twit

  8. #2258
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    That lad looks like James.

  9. #2259
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Barclays is* the worst.

    Toggle Spoiler


    *In 2011.
    Paying 1% is something to be proud of these days. Nowadays you just move any profit to Ireland and declare a loss.

  10. #2260
    Meow
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    Signed contract today for old position. I was hourly last time but now salaried, it won't make too much difference but a few more benefits with salary than hourly as last time I'd get sent home early if quiet and holidays were less I think.

    £21K a year which isn't too bad considering my level, I think an experienced CDP would get around £22-23 so I can't complain.

    Booked a four hour course in Marylebone at the end of the month which looked handy. Knife skills and different cuts, the mother sauces and filleting fish. £150! Ouch.

  11. #2261
    I used to be funny.
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    Pay review came in today. 0.75%

  12. #2262
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Submitted my request to move desks.
    I'm a twit

  13. #2263
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Would anyone like to take a wild swing at which bank was involved in bankrolling the paedo?


  14. #2264
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Spent half the day on a remote fault finding session on the phone to two middling English speakers in Katowice. Christ, I'd rather dig holes for 12 hours straight.

  15. #2265
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Leave Igor alone.
    I'm not actually senior enough to open accounts. I could book you an appointment though, @Magic.

  16. #2266
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Submitted my request to move desks.
    Ever since I started there’s been talk of my team moving to the old banged up building that used to be the library in the town centre, but closed as a library due to it being unsafe. The office I currently work in is pretty swish and I was happy seeing it was just office gossip.

    We’ve now been given a moving date.

    And it’s when I’m on holiday so I’ll get the worst spec.

    The building is horrific, doesn’t have a lift (I’ll be on the 2nd floor), everywhere’s damp and it smells like school trips to a museum.

    Ah well, hopefully I will at least get to enjoy the best desk in the current place for four weeks.
    I'm a twit

  17. #2267
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Following on from that. The stupid fat lesbian who doesn’t actually have a job role has moved to the desk I wanted.

    And just now my bosses boss just rang up to speak to my boss but she’s out. “do you have access to <a certain contract> to tell me how much we contribute?”

    YES. THAT IS MY JOB. I LOOK AFTER THE CONTRACTS. OF COURSE I DO.

    I swear everyone thinks I’m just an apprentice, here to make brews and print stuff.
    I'm a twit

  18. #2268
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It's just a nicer, less direct way of telling you to do something.

  19. #2269
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Finished my first week at the new job. Really like it so far. Small team of five (including me, a sixth is joining in September) in our office and everyone's really nice. The work's a lot more interesting than my last job too.

  20. #2270
    Senior Member mugbull's Avatar
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    Startup tier?

  21. #2271
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mugbull View Post
    Startup tier?
    Yeah.

  22. #2272
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Did you take the job with the geezer that's going to stick all his profits up his nose or a different one?

  23. #2273
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Did you take the job with the geezer that's going to stick all his profits up his nose or a different one?
    Different one.

  24. #2274
    Meow
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    I just enjoyed two glorious days off and then went in expecting a long week. Off tomorrow and Tuesday too. Banging.

    I spent four hours cleaning a walk in fridge, stripped it bare and went to town before joining in service for the evening whereby I did pretty much sod all. As much as I like the days off, it bugs me that when I go back in I have to rearrange my section back to as it was and having to use what has been prepared by one of the other chefs. It's only little things but I do julienne cuts for my duck salads as it tangles in amongst the watercress better but this prat just shaves it with a peeler so it's wafer thin slices of carrot and mooli which looks shit. Leaving the tiniest bit of whatever in a container being another. Why would you wrap it up and pack it up when there's not even enough for a portion?

    I've tried talking to him but his English isn't the best and he clearly doesn't understand my accent. Rabbit in headlights look but it's pissing me off.

  25. #2275
    I used to be funny.
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    I just found out the office drunk got so pissed last week she came back into work at 7:45pm thinking it was the next day. Wow.

  26. #2276
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Last day in work until September.

  27. #2277
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I always feel jealous of teachers at this time of year but then I remember what they have to do for the rest of it.

  28. #2278
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    My wife is off until April. Holiday then maternity leave starts just before she's due back.

  29. #2279
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    That's seriously short holidays for a teacher.

  30. #2280
    Meow
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    I think a new career change is in order ha. FML it's beyond roasting.

  31. #2281
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I think a new career change is in order ha. FML it's beyond roasting.
    I remember when I did work experience in a kitchen during secondary school. I keep volunteering to get anything from the walk in fridge/freezer.

  32. #2282
    Meow
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    I deep cleaned that fucker on Sunday. A nice four hours but it was nowhere near as hot. I just got absolutely slammed for lunch service too.

    Tomorrow scares the life out of me as we're due a hotter one and I already know we've got a lot of tables booked. I honestly don't know how people can eat meals in this weather, just a nice easy bite surely?

  33. #2283
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    Glad Iím not the only one - most of the country seemed to break up on Friday!

  34. #2284
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Had a meeting today and the guy was wearing a three piece suit. I was wearing shorts and t-shirt.

  35. #2285
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Had a meeting today and the guy was wearing a three piece suit. I was wearing shorts and t-shirt.
    Was he an employee, because that's ridiculously unprofessional if not.

  36. #2286
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It was a client. I work at a creative agency, not a bank.

  37. #2287
    I used to be funny.
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    Fair play to him taking it seriously, then.

  38. #2288
    Meow
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    That was honestly one of the hardest days works I've ever had, I found cementing driveways in Canada easier and it was even hotter then.

    I am most definitely not looking forward to tomorrow. It's the hottest day out the lot, isn't it? On the plus side, I smashed it throughout although evening became a little wobbly as I was jumping on starters and mains, it's the mains section that I'm trying to learn but it's difficult when you're only doing it in dribs and drabs, I'd rather have a few straight shifts on it.

  39. #2289
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Which are the best languages to learn when it comes to coding? I've been pissing about with HTML but I'd like to get proper stuck in since I've got a lot of free time at work.

  40. #2290
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I don’t know the correct answer but if I had time to learn, the one I’d aim for is React.
    I'm a twit

  41. #2291
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Which are the best languages to learn when it comes to coding? I've been pissing about with HTML but I'd like to get proper stuck in since I've got a lot of free time at work.
    If it's web stuff you're interested in, javascript is your best bet. You can do other stuff with it too but it's primarily a frontend (making shit move around and respond to the user on the page) web language.

    You can use it on the backend (server stuff that dictates what you see when you go to a url/click on a link etc) too with NodeJs.

    Freecodecamp is good and should be easily enough accessed from your work.

    Java (completely different from javascript) or python are good shouts too if you're looking for a career in it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    I don’t know the correct answer but if I had time to learn, the one I’d aim for is React.
    React isn't a language on its own, it's a framework for javascript. It'd be best to learn javascript first.

  42. #2292
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Cheers. I'll give javascript a go then. At what point did you end up applying for a developer role? I'm not sure if it's something I want to solely pursue, but I figure it's probably the best use of my spare time at the moment. Is it common for people to design as well as develop?

  43. #2293
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Cheers. I'll give javascript a go then. At what point did you end up applying for a developer role? I'm not sure if it's something I want to solely pursue, but I figure it's probably the best use of my spare time at the moment. Is it common for people to design as well as develop?
    I did a masters conversion course so about a year after starting that.

    A mate of mine taught himself python and got a job with it after about a year though. Depends how much time you've got to dedicate to it, I suppose.

    I don't think it's all that common for people to do design and development but I could be wrong. @SvN would know more about that than me.

  44. #2294
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    There was some boring email went round work this morning about a reward scheme, and then one an hour later saying it was malicious and if you’d clicked on the link you had to turn your computer off immediately and report it to IT.

    So I went back to the original email, clicked on the link and then shut my PC down.
    I'm a twit

  45. #2295
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    @Offshore Toon

    If you're serious about going into web stuff, HTML and CSS are a must before you start moving onto anything else. You don't need to be an expert, but you need to fully understand the basic principles of how the web works - especially if you want to learn something like React.

    Vanilla JS is a good starting point before you move onto frameworks, as Boydy said.

    10 or so years ago, you were expected to code if you were a designer. Since then, "development" has branched off into so many different subsets that it's no longer that common for someone to do both. It's also quite rare that someone can be creative and a competent coder - most people are either one or the other.

  46. #2296
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    There was some boring email went round work this morning about a reward scheme, and then one an hour later saying it was malicious and if you’d clicked on the link you had to turn your computer off immediately and report it to IT.

    So I went back to the original email, clicked on the link and then shut my PC down.
    The scenes when they figure out you clicked the link after the email came out

  47. #2297
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I did a masters conversion course so about a year after starting that.

    A mate of mine taught himself python and got a job with it after about a year though. Depends how much time you've got to dedicate to it, I suppose.

    I don't think it's all that common for people to do design and development but I could be wrong. @SvN would know more about that than me.
    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    @Offshore Toon

    If you're serious about going into web stuff, HTML and CSS are a must before you start moving onto anything else. You don't need to be an expert, but you need to fully understand the basic principles of how the web works - especially if you want to learn something like React.

    Vanilla JS is a good starting point before you move onto frameworks, as Boydy said.

    10 or so years ago, you were expected to code if you were a designer. Since then, "development" has branched off into so many different subsets that it's no longer that common for someone to do both. It's also quite rare that someone can be creative and a competent coder - most people are either one or the other.
    Okay, cool. Appreciate the advice. I'll just see how I get on for now then.

  48. #2298
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    What kind of personality are you Toon?

    I'd reccomend following SvN's advice with the HTML/CSS. Get yourself a pirated copy of Photoshop/Illustrator and put together a couple of projects with/for mates and see which things kept your attention more. The only way you get anywhere with either field is through repetition. If you're just pissing about and want a side-thing to learn I'd recommend pissing about with Ableton and plugins as that's already your scene.

    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Had a meeting today and the guy was wearing a three piece suit. I was wearing shorts and t-shirt.
    My boss won't let me wear shorts in the same office out IT guys are wearing NFL tops and World of Warcraft t-shirts.

  49. #2299
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    Came offshore on Monday after a week of annual leave. Was due off on Thursday. Flight cancelled. Was due off on Friday. Flight cancelled.

    So here I am, at 8am on a Saturday awaiting a helicopter to take me home to salvage my weekend.

    Fog is now my least favourite form of weather.

  50. #2300
    I used to be funny.
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    And Helicopters might be my least favourite form of transport.

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