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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #101
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Astonishing. Bit harsh considering you've never met Smiffy's one.

  2. #102
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    The cunts withheld my bonus. My boss went on holiday yesterday so I won't even pretend I'm working anymore.

  3. #103
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I gave up a due Korean bonus to come here. Worth it though.

  4. #104
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I gave up a due Korean bonus to come here. Worth it though.
    How's the change going now you've had a bit of time to settle in?

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    The cunts withheld my bonus. My boss went on holiday yesterday so I won't even pretend I'm working anymore.
    What ground do they have for that?

  6. #106
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Companies can pretty much do what they like.

  7. #107
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I literally saved someone’s life and got a £20 New Look voucher and a handshake from someone that could clear my mortgage once a year. Fuck your bonus’, fat cats.

  8. #108
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    What ground do they have for that?
    I've quit.

  9. #109
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    How's the change going now you've had a bit of time to settle in?
    Definitely a good move, there's so much more going on here and you earn your money which is a lot more satisfying.

    Might stay for 2/3 years and try to wring the maximum out of it, but I'm never going to properly learn about engines so I think that'll be it.

  10. #110
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've been offered a 10k raise and a promotion if I keep my house in order for the next 5 months. Turns out the big-big boss was at some place I was at and saw 'untoward behavior' around the same time that I made a couple of monumental fuck-ups at work. I have to prove that was a temporary blip and then I'm basically running the show from then on. Bit weird so I went out to the pub and plan not to do any coke in the toilet.

  11. #111
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    @Smiffy tells me this time it's for real, he even wrote a song about her


  12. #112
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I've been offered a 10k raise and a promotion if I keep my house in order for the next 5 months. Turns out the big-big boss was at some place I was at and saw 'untoward behavior' around the same time that I made a couple of monumental fuck-ups at work. I have to prove that was a temporary blip and then I'm basically running the show from then on. Bit weird so I went out to the pub and plan not to do any coke in the toilet.
    What? To all of that. What?

  13. #113
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Bit of an embellishment but yeah it's pretty much all there.

  14. #114
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    It read like he did the coke.

  15. #115
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    It reads like the big boss wants him out the door and they've given him a carrot to chase so he doesn't meff things up too much while they look for a replacement.

  16. #116
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Probably.

  17. #117
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    Since I now qualify as a student again, I am able to apply for student jobs. I know two principals at a national-size architecture firm, and I know the hiring manager for the Edmonton office. One of the principals told me to apply. So it's basically a shoe-in, but I'm still second-guessing everything. For example, do I include an Interests section in my resume? Do I take anything out?

    » architecture (e.g. works by Max Dudler, Terunobu Fujimori, Kengo Kuma, C.F. Moller, John Pawson, Peter Zumthor)
    » art (e.g. pieces by Franz Kline, Richard Serra, Marjan Teeuwen, Canan Tolon)
    » bad jokes (e.g. paraprosdokians, puns, shaggy dog stories)
    » community development (e.g. affordable housing, community arts programming)
    » neuroscience
    » political and social theory
    » politics (municipal, provincial, national)
    » soccer (coaching, playing)
    » urban development issues (e.g. regional farmland management, transit-oriented development

  18. #118
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Super cringe.

  19. #119
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Remember the mixology.

  20. #120
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Tell me more about these shaggy dog stories.

  21. #121
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Remember the mixology.
    And the Panda Walk.

  22. #122
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    You should take 'paraprosdokians' out so you can surprise them when you turn up completely absent a sense of humour.

  23. #123
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    who's shagging dogs?

  24. #124
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    What do you think, @SvN? You're a professional.

    EDIT @Pepe: I've included "Barefoot running and walking". This is a design firm, so that's probably something they'd find interesting.
    Last edited by Panda Bear; 22-03-2018 at 09:58 PM.

  25. #125
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Don't include interests on your CV, anyone that can bullet point their personality is someone to watch out for. Work them into your cover letter where they make you look good like the local politics/urban/community development stuff. I couldn't give less of a shit of your opinion on Dadaism unless you're going to force me to listen to it, in which case I will hate it.

  26. #126
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    EDIT @Pepe: I've included "Barefoot running and walking". This is a design firm, so that's probably something they'd find interesting.


    I still wear my "barefoot" shoes. Don't care for the better walking mechanism or whatever, but they are very comfortable, especially the wide toe section.

  27. #127
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Well the changes that saw a bunch of people get made redundant at work mean that for April, when we're apparently in a month between people leaving or (like me and another girl) having our secondments ended early and new people coming in to fill the gaps from elsewhere as part of the reshuffle, there'll be less people to do the management-y stuff than they have people to do it.

    Can already hear me being asked to basically keep doing my secondment even though they're ending it early.

  28. #128
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    What do you do @Ian?

  29. #129
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    @phonics: apparently it's good to pair typefaces by serif for titles and non-serif for text, so I'm going with Bank Gothic and Trajan.

  30. #130
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    @phonics: apparently it's good to pair typefaces by serif for titles and non-serif for text, so I'm going with Bank Gothic and Trajan.
    Seriously? I would heartily recommend not doing that.

    I assume you mean Trajan for your title and then Bank Gothic as body text? Trajan is a headline font that you use for the front of a book cover, not for a resume title, you look like a Greek restaurant. And then for your body text you're going to force people to read a font in all capital letters? They'll zone out within 10 words. I must admit that I hate 99.9999999% of Serifs so I'm slightly biased but I'm still correct.

    Go for DIN throughout. It's versatile enough that you can use it multiple different ways in the same block of text and it all works together. You can find a pirated copy in about 15 seconds of googling.


  31. #131
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    What do you do @Ian?
    Work on a customer service team in a sort-of call centre (we don't really get enough calls for it to really be called that) and have been on a secondment managing one of the teams since December.

  32. #132
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    What type of product?

  33. #133
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    K, I'm bored of my resume charade now. There is no interests section anymore. There used to be one, but it never included bad jokes. The typefaces used are Aileron for the headings (Light, Regular, and Semibold) and Garamond for the body.

    But I do have one real question: should I include in my education section that I will be attending UBC's Master of Architecture program this fall if I am going to be applying for student internships? Or do I mention that in my cover letter and exclude it from my resume given that I haven't technically started?

  34. #134
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    I do like DIN as a typeface, though. I'm pretty into Neutraface 2 (https://houseind.com/hi/neutraface_no2) right now too.

    Pro tip for piracy using a famous search engine: "site:github.com typeface". Add ttf or otf to narrow down if necessary.
    Last edited by Panda Bear; 22-03-2018 at 10:51 PM.

  35. #135
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Times New Roman for everything and be done with it. "Typefaces."

  36. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Times New Roman for everything and be done with it. "Typefaces."
    If you're an engineer, yes.

    If you're doing anything remotely design-related, impossible.

  37. #137
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm a Calibri man.

  38. #138
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    I'm a Calibri man.
    That's the Word default, isn't it? If so, then that is also what I use most of the time.

  39. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    That's the Word default, isn't it? If so, then that is also what I use most of the time.
    Yeah, Calibri is easier to read on a screen than Times.

  40. #140
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Arial. Calibri is acceptable though.

  41. #141
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Calibri is comic sans for people who want to be taken seriously.

  42. #142
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Is it fuck, that's Arial's job.

  43. #143
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Times New Roman for everything and be done with it. "Typefaces."
    'This'.

  44. #144
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm a Courier New fan. Achieves that redacted Cold War memo vibe that is otherwise hard to nail.

  45. #145
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Cambria.

  46. #146
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    What type of product?
    Telecoms. Until now it was mostly for public sector but that'll now be a mix of private companies too.

  47. #147
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    Is it fuck, that's Arial's job.
    Like you know what it’s like to be taken seriously.

    Arial

  48. #148
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Telecoms. Until now it was mostly for public sector but that'll now be a mix of private companies too.
    In Glasgow?

  49. #149
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    Left alignment or fully justified?

    Anyone who uses left alignment is a wrong un.

  50. #150
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It depends how clever the software you're using is when it comes to justifying the text. InDesign, for instance, is very good at analysing bit blocks of text rather than individual lines, and as a result, the text is a lot easier to read.

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