I’ve been asked to do something similar recently re logging time.
I’m working on the assumption they want to sack us all and move jobs to India so I’m filling it in showing I do zero admin tasks and everything I do is value adding and requires specific knowledge.
I have not booked the time I spend sifting through trading212 and buying shares in Snapchat.
We'd be impossible to catch. We have impenetrable deception measures in place, such as using the same account number of the old Russian customers but putting -KZ at the end to denote we're shipping to Kazakhstan instead.
Whatever happened to the salesman the Saffas insisted had to visit Belarus or whatever to inspect a part he wasn't qualified to look at?
I've just been told my department is being made defunct and I'll be redundant before December, unless I'm found a new role.
I'm just about to receive an order for £1.1m that I'm about to tell the customer not to place.
It's done. Fuck them.
It's an open secret now that our head of IT (supposed to be full time employed, paid probably six figs) is simultaneously the head of IT for another similar sized company and gets paid two salaries while darting madly between the two. We required three days a week in the office, the other place one. You should get involved in that kind of game.
I could honestly easily pick up a second job effort wise, but not sure I'd want to do it on a schedule juggling level.
There's a whole subreddit dedicated to people doing it.
Edit: This one: https://www.reddit.com/r/overemployed/
This was all the rage during COVID particularly in the software industry because most companies were hiring like mad for a while. I thought it didn't really work in the UK though because we have PAYE and your second job would be able to tell from your tax code? Is that not true?Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd
He's probably an independent contractor for at least one of them rather than an employee. He's been with us about 20 years but has a long history of having tantrums to get more money, then fired and then re-hired so at some point during that he's probably fiddled himself into an untouchable corner.
Also has a photography business on the side.
Also is the Arab's brother, obvs.
That guy is doing it right. My side business gets me about £500 a year.
I could definitely do my previous and my current job simultaneously and I still wouldn't be anywhere near 40 hours per week of actual work.
My favourite IT story was the guy who outsourced his own job to China without telling anyone. He was paying 1/5th of his salary to a company in China to do his job and spending the day on Ebay.
They only found out because they thought they were under attack from Chinese hackers but it was just the company accessing documents to do his job for him.
You can only do that in sales if you have a good customer base (I inherited one when I moved here). So I've basically done account management and upselling rather than business development. My figures are great and I've barely worked at all.
I knew this team well before I joined so they trusted me. I am totally screwed now in the respect of getting a 'proper' sales job i.e building it up from zero. That is going to be insanely hard unless I can luck out and replace someone else who had a base already.
Fuck. Either that or I get a job to practice my counselling, but £21,000 pro-rata for 16 hours a week as a school counsellor doesn't really excite me...
The Arab, who in recent times has been an irritating prick rather than entertaining, has just told us that he's spent the last year being blackmailed by a woman. Said woman went out with him for 3 months, then asked for a lot of money, then upon the resultant breakup emailed his boss, family etc with kompromat of them together and demanded money to stop doing so. The Arab paid up and continued doing so, to the tune of £1,300 over the course of a year. He's only now got the police involved.
He also claims that three or four named people who work in our warehouse have been subject to similar blackmails in their relationships. Is this something I've missed, an epidemic of blackmailing women, or am I just naive?
I would think there is something about you that makes you a less ideal target than The Arab.
Are there any applications integrated within Teams that improve meetings significantly?
The do not disturb button
Co-pilot? Let AI figure out what people are talking about.
My GOAT.
Do I mention or put on my CV that I'm doing an MSc or do I wait until interview stage to mention it? I feel like it would disqualify me almost immediately...
I just wouldn't mention it until I was about 2 months into the job, if at all, but maybe I'm a cynical piece of shit.
I'd need approval for the 26 days off a year to attend though.
I'm with Jimmy. They'll seethe when they find out, but will just take it because companies are firing-averse. Just like you wouldn't recommend a woman to mention they are pregnant, you should do the same.
I understand, but this is sales. Firing-averse doesn't apply here.
I'm leaning towards disclosure at interview stage, or at least raising it. I don't feel all that comfortable lying, it's not my modus operandi.
What's the MSc in?
Counselling.
"This guy's studying to be a counsellor, he'll leave in a couple of years, no point in hiring him."
Presumably you can use your communication skills from your MSc to convince them.
Ignore these lunatics, you obviously need to tell them. Interview stage is probably right, ideally after you've nailed the first 90% of it.
I was counting on it being an evening course that would only result in your eventual departure, rather than five weeks off a year, no sane person would give you a job doing that unless it was commission only or something.
The truth is somewhere between SvN and Pepe.
You have to tell them, but at the same time you have to be aware that if you tell them the full details it will be received in much the same way as a woman turning up and saying "oh, I'm hoping to start a family this year". You aren't getting the job and neither would she.
So the question is; how do you tell them in such a way that you can downplay the obvious impact its going to have on the business?
I would be more wary about him turning any workplace into a mindfulness wankathon than a few days off.
'You do realise we don't have a mental health first aider?'
And then Baz swoops in.
Retired from that.
I'm a twit
"you haven't hit target"
"Thank you for sharing that with me in this safe space, I understand how hard that was for you, it was really brave. Maybe we can explore some of your feelings around that at a later session?"
"I understand you don't want the thing we're selling, but think of it from my perspective."
Last edited by Shindig; 21-10-2024 at 05:32 PM.
"Fuck you, pay me"
Tell them you’re doing one, but be vague in what it’s in. Make it seem like it’s just something you’re interested in, rather than a new career.
I'm definitely not hiring someone who does a course in counselling just because they are interested in it.
"I'm doing an MSc in Counselling, but DON'T WORRY! I'm just a busy cunt"
I'm not averse to canning it for the right opportunity, but only as a last resort. In this day and age people skills are absolutely critical for sales (unless you're selling dog shit and it needs to go at all costs).
It's not a million miles away from the job at all.
Edit: the uncertainty is killing my motivation to study.
I've decided to send a few feelers out for new things (2 year itch). I have a "senior solutions consultant" interview tomorrow with HR (the check if you're an idiot) which will be for the first time on the vendor side. Also have a friend from my old employer who seems really interested but it really will depend on the seniority (and obviously the money). I'm pretty happy to stay put but still good to know you're wanted.
We sacked our useless remote Italian today. Lovely man but doesn't get sales at all, to the extent that he steadfastly refused - for 12 years that he inexplicably lasted at the company - to lower any prices in 13 of his 14 national territories despite getting fuck all sales and his prices being obviously way too high. Our total sales to date in Switzerland this year are £7.90. Slovenia, couple of hundred quid. Montenegro - it's a small country, sure, but seven months in the total is zero. Serbia, one thousand pounds.
We came up with the theory in the office that he was being paid another salary by our competitors to be incompetent and keep our product out of these countries. Kind of stacks up. Anyway, it takes me another step closer to seizing my empire.
Not Benito Nipplini?
What do you mean vendor? Don't you work for in finance?
I work for a bank but I don't work in finance. A vendor selling the software/services banks use.
So are you like system support or something similar?
'Your free trial of Pensioner Swindler 9000 expires in 30 days...'
Anti financial crime. We try to stop the pensioner swindling.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote