The All New Jobs Thread

[Jimmy Floyd]

Just received this email from the big boss:

Dear All,

I have the pleasure to announce that we have increased the annual holiday allocation by two days with immediate effect. Please note the following: -

Starting holiday is now 22 days.
After 5 years continuous service – 24 days.
After 10 years continuous service – 27 days.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Having just passed my 5 years, I'm up from 20 to 24 just like that. Now awaiting the catch, I wonder what it will be. You get nothing for free in this world.

[Waffdon]

24 days

I’m on 31 (32 past 2 years due to a ‘covid day’)with 1.5 days flexi most month. Then the usual Public Holidays which seems to be loads with the queen dying and the coronation whenever that is.

[Spikey M]

Increasing holiday from "ridiculously low" to "still pretty uncompetitive" and having Jimmy giddy enough to wonder what the catch is. The old fella still has it.

[Spikey M]

24 days

I’m on 31 (32 past 2 years due to a ‘covid day’)with 1.5 days flexi most month. Then the usual Public Holidays which seems to be loads with the queen dying and the coronation whenever that is.

I get 30 days, Bank Holidays, my birthday and whatever working days happen to fall between Christmas and New years.

[Jimmy Floyd]

I've forgotten what it's like to have a meaningful amount tbh. The Koreans were the same so this is my first increase from 20 in a decade.

[Ben]

Mine's pretty wank. 25 plus 3 mandatory between Christmas and New Year.

[Dark Soldier]

I get 30 days, Bank Holidays, my birthday and whatever working days happen to fall between Christmas and New years.

Same. It was 24 when I joined in June but now they've just bumped it to 30 for everyone rather than years of service. Plus a 15% pay rise to stay competitive and retain staff.

[Spikey M]

Same. It was 24 when I joined in June but now they've just bumped it to 30 for everyone rather than years of service. Plus a 15% pay rise to stay competitive and retain staff.

Listen lad, I was already trying to show off. Don't take the piss.

[Baz]

I get 256.82 hours, whatever that means.

[Boydy]

I get 28. Our US lot have "unlimited PTO". One of them took a grand total of three days off last year.

[Adramelch]

I had 51 in France. Which would have been insane, had it not coincided exactly with the pandemic (I started work 1 day before the first lockdown). In Greece I'm back to a pitiful 22.

[Raoul Duke]

Having just passed my 5 years, I'm up from 20 to 24 just like that. Now awaiting the catch, I wonder what it will be. You get nothing for free in this world.

You have to spend a week of it in Honduras working 17-hour days

[Shindig]

25 days + Bank Holidays. I think the extra days for seniority kick in at 10, 15, 20 years, etc. Assuming I take extra days off instead of B&Q vouchers or whatever.

[Kikó]

I think I'm on 26 rising by one ever year until it hits 30. My old place was 30 and you could buy 5.

[Shindig]

We can buy 10 (!?) but I've never felt the need to dent my payslip like that.

[Giggles]

I haven’t time to ever take all mine.

[Spikey M]

Me neither. I still do though.

[Lewis]

I sold five days back, and still have more than ten to carry over into the next leave period. I asked to be allowed a few extra and got told to fuck off because not having a life isn't an exceptional circumstance, so I'm going to take a half-day every day, work normally, and just carry loads of flexi-time over. #tradesecrets #donned

[Foe]

They gave us all an extra 2 days leave and abolished the whole “years service for extra day” stuff.

They also let us take 2 “well-being” days where we can just decide not to work any day we feel we need to, doesn’t need line manager approval and doesn’t count as leave.

I’m feeling completely run down at the moment so I think I’m going to take the week after next off.

[Baz]

u ok hun?

[Lofty]

You can salary sacrifice for more leave at my spot but fuck that, my manager is fine with people working over and taking it back as time owed if not paid as overtime.

[Foe]

We can buy up to ten days extra too. I always end up carrying five. I just don’t live an exciting life.

[Foe]

u ok hun?

NFL draft week off will give me the knowledge required to become a contender in the fantasy league you’ll invite me to join.

[Baz]

Could have joined TTH. New boy @Lofty didn’t even turn up for the draft.

[Foe]

Transfer listed.

I’m available on a free if you can free up the wages.

[Lofty]

Could have joined TTH. New boy @Lofty didn’t even turn up for the draft.

And yet made it to the final

[Dark Soldier]

I always use my annual leave. Take the odd random day off to sit on my fat arse eating crisps and playing the xbox or summat.

[Baz]

I always use my annual leave. Take the odd random day off to sit on my fat arse eating crisps and playing the xbox or summat.

My wife’s going back to work from mat leave soon, part time Wednesday to Friday. Her at work, one kid at nursery and one at school, I’m tempted to secretly book a few three-day holidays and chill at home playing Xbox and watching TV.

[Dark Soldier]

My wife’s going back to work from mat leave soon, part time Wednesday to Friday. Her at work, one kid at nursery and one at school, I’m tempted to secretly book a few three-day holidays and chill at home playing Xbox and watching TV.

Mate its so good. Took the day off the other week when missus was in office. Got up at 10, played Resi 4 all day, ordered maccies for lunch. Feet up, best time.

[AJ23]

Mate its so good. Took the day off the other week when missus was in office. Got up at 10, played Resi 4 all day, ordered maccies for lunch. Feet up, best time.

Alright for some. I'll give your number to Marcus Rashford. Maybe you can help him out.

[Dark Soldier]

Alright for some. I'll give your number to Marcus Rashford. Maybe you can help him out.

He a Resi fan?

[Pen]

I had 51 in France. Which would have been insane, had it not coincided exactly with the pandemic (I started work 1 day before the first lockdown). In Greece I'm back to a pitiful 22.

This is pretty obscene if you get public holidays on top of that (even if they're included in that it's good). Could work a 4 day week all year.

I think I had 33 last time. I usually trade my holiday pay (is that a common thing? I.e you get roughly 50% of your monthly wage on top of your wage every July) to as many extra days as possible.

[Jimmy Floyd]

You see why the frogspawn are out launching le creuset lids into shop windows any time a politician suggests cutting holiday to just 12 weeks a year or raising the retirement age above 39. It's not the anglo-saxon way.

[Foe]

My friend works for a French company and seemingly one of his colleagues was surprised and appalled that having a child in the UK was not a financial benefit, and was in fact financial suicide.

It doesn’t surprise me that their holiday allowance is obscene also.

[Adramelch]

This is pretty obscene if you get public holidays on top of that (even if they're included in that it's good). Could work a 4 day week all year.

I think I had 33 last time. I usually trade my holiday pay (is that a common thing? I.e you get roughly 50% of your monthly wage on top of your wage every July) to as many extra days as possible.

You do get public holidays on top of that.

That said I was in a research center which sort of followed the public sector rules, where you get an extra X amount of days (I think it was 21 out of the 51) if your contract had you working more than 35 hours a week, or something along those lines. I doubt the private sector jobs include that, but 30 days a year seemed to be the starting point even in the private sector, which is quite good.

Holiday pay is pretty common yeah. In Spain it was 50% in July and 50% on Christmas, but in Greece and France it's commonly a full monthly wage extra in both July and Christams (although it's obviously used as a "bargaining chip" to pay you a lower wage altogether).

[igor_balis]

the Microsoft outlook grammar corrections continue to baffle me, "thanks kat, that's really helpful" got the blue squiggle and the suggestion to change it to "thanks kat, that's helpful" as it's more concise.

I know I generally would benefit from being more fucking concise, but cmon.

[Kikó]

You can turn that off in the settings.

[randomlegend]

the Microsoft outlook grammar corrections continue to baffle me, "thanks kat, that's really helpful" got the blue squiggle and the suggestion to change it to "thanks kat, that's helpful" as it's more concise.

I know I generally would benefit from being more fucking concise, but cmon.

It always tries to get rid of verys and reallys. It's (really) annoying.

[Giggles]

Fit them better to sort out that whole OneDrive/sharepoint/sites/etc/etc hellscape.

[Jimmy Floyd]

The Arab has been going around the office this morning with his jacket turned inside out, saying 'People are calling me the Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. Think he's finally lost it.

[Lofty]

Say 'smell ya later' to him.

[Ian]

The Arab has been going around the office this morning with his jacket turned inside out, saying 'People are calling me the Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. Think he's finally lost it.

[Mike]

Amazing!

[Lofty]

Has Barney recovered from his Eire gaffe, Jim?

[Jimmy Floyd]

He's doing alright. The Arab is completely off his face though. Just went for lunch with him and a few others, he spent the whole thing just going off on one with a big smile on his face and not listening to any of our replies/acknowledgements or attempts at participating in the conversation, like he was talking to himself in an empty room. He once told me he takes these special upper pills you can only get in the Middle East, wasn't hard to see them in effect. Also it's Eid so he must be happy that he doesn't have to pretend to be fasting anymore while actually chomping crisps in his office all day.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

Taz could do with those pills.

[Manc]

Ominous department wide meeting booked in for next Tuesday. Hopefully heads will roll.

[Baz]

We had an “away day” yesterday to discuss our business plan and come up with ideas to improve workplace wellbeing. My only contribution was we should get free rugby tickets and a subsidised Christmas Do.

[Giggles]

We are supposed to be going to do a fucking team building exercise in a few weeks and we’re not even a stupid yank multinational.

[Lofty]

My work had leadership conferences scheduled for two days but I was already annual leave for both