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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #9851
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I did about two weeks in a call centre as a stopgap job once, the subject matter wasn't as bad as in your place but it was still by far the worst job I have ever done, and I've cleaned out a kitchen fridge on my hands and knees while an enormous Frenchman stands behind me shouting plus vite! plus vite!.

  2. #9852
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    One of the phonecalls was from a lady with a blocked toilet and I honestly think I would rather deal with her shit filled toilet than her shit filled mouth.

    It did shine a light on the way call centre staff are treated by the public though. People are generally fairly polite when they get through to me in my normal role, but working as a call centre agent your mere existence appears to be a source of irritation. It's impressive they don't all go postal in all honesty.
    Last edited by Spikey M; 15-03-2023 at 12:46 PM.

  3. #9853
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    There's definitely a growing OI!OI! :chiefskanks: tone to your posts Jim.

  4. #9854
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    There's definitely a growing OI!OI! :chiefskanks: tone to your posts Jim.
    That's what you read into them, I am but an innocent flower.

  5. #9855

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've cleaned out a kitchen fridge on my hands and knees while an enormous Frenchman stands behind me shouting plus vite! plus vite!.
    Did he have a cheesecake that needed setting immediately or something?

  6. #9856
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It did shine a light on the way call centre staff are treated by the public though. People are generally fairly polite when they get through to me in my normal role, but working as a call centre agent your mere existence appears to be a source of irritation. It's impressive they don't all go postal in all honesty.
    I think it was working in that role and a few others like it that taught me not only never to give lip to low paid staff myself, but that the vast number of people who do are arseholes. Particularly applies to waiters, people in call centres, and service staff generally. These people are all being paid peanuts to act as a barrier between you and The Man, giving them lip is just unseemly.

    Yet I know a guy who works for *some bank* and earns six figures and the rest, and his take on this is that you're a paying customer and should expect service accordingly. I don't know, I just don't think that checks out.

  7. #9857
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben View Post
    Did he have a cheesecake that needed setting immediately or something?
    He needed to put all his meat back in before it warmed up. Oi oi, etc.

  8. #9858
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    After I'd worked for a call centre I made a point of explaining to people when they then talked about some terrible call centre experience that a) the systems and access are invariably garbage, b) no, there almost certainly wasn't a manager available (they may have been nearby but refusing to take a call) and c) and this is the most important one, if you give them shit on the phone you're at least 50% less likely to get what you wanted from the call. Why is some undertrained, undersupported, minimum wage drone going to put up with your shit for a job they're probably trying to leave anyway?

    Sure some call centre staff are just useless cunts but plenty are just ground down by 40 hours a week of being treated like shit by employers and customers.

  9. #9859
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I think it was working in that role and a few others like it that taught me not only never to give lip to low paid staff myself, but that the vast number of people who do are arseholes. Particularly applies to waiters, people in call centres, and service staff generally. These people are all being paid peanuts to act as a barrier between you and The Man, giving them lip is just unseemly.

    Yet I know a guy who works for *some bank* and earns six figures and the rest, and his take on this is that you're a paying customer and should expect service accordingly. I don't know, I just don't think that checks out.
    It just slows things down too. You can say "look mate, I Just need repairs" as many times as you please, but there isn't a repairs team. There are several different teams that deal with different types of repairs, so like it or not, you need to tell me what the problem is. And who you are. And where you live. Otherwise nobody will take the call. I know they won't, because I probably wouldn't either. People don't like being caught on the hop unnecessarily.

    People like your banker mate should have to do a day of National Service in a Call Centre to ground them a bit.

  10. #9860
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I think it was working in that role and a few others like it that taught me not only never to give lip to low paid staff myself, but that the vast number of people who do are arseholes. Particularly applies to waiters, people in call centres, and service staff generally. These people are all being paid peanuts to act as a barrier between you and The Man, giving them lip is just unseemly.
    Isn't this just called being British?

    You can only hope that the other great British trait [passive aggressiveness] leads to worse outcomes for the shit givers.

  11. #9861
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I had a meeting with the powers that be.

    They presented to me the plan. There was a list of countries being given to me with a total profit target of £140k. If I were to meet this profit I would get commission of 2.5% of what I make. Against each country was a column showing the number of times I am expected to visit each year. Suriname, Trinidad and (not sure where this came from) the Cape Verde Islands showed zero visits expected. All the others - the Dominican Republic, the seven small Central American republics, Jamaica, Barbados, Argentina and Brazil - showed one visit expected per year. My salary will remain the same. I will also consider shadowing Europe for the other boss.

    There is an expectation that the old man will get axed and I will then inherit his countries as well, which include the more lucrative selection of Mexico, Guyana and the ones I've just been to in S Am. That would net me 2.5% of a total target around £700k if I met it, with visits due to all those as well.

    I began to express some quite mild concerns about the extent of travel expected versus the rewards on offer. The MD immediately lost his temper and said 'I hope you haven't come here to lay down roadblocks or make demands. This is a great opportunity'. I thought, well, there is no point turning this into a fight. I told him I was disappointed he was using such language as he has employed me for five years and I have never made salary or bonus demands or tried to leverage him for anything. I said I just am not sure whether this is an offer that makes sense to me and need some time to go away and consider it.

    (I don't even have a contract or anything on the table even now, just some verbal proposals and a spreadsheet on the sales director's laptop).

    We had a long and annoying discussion about life priorities. He told a story about when he had young children and kept having to make month long trips to the US and Far East, and how he didn't want to do it but realised that it would be in his long term interests to do so and that he had no choice but to say yes or his worth to the company would have been shot. I said ok, but your worth to other companies would still have been high. At this point his face turned into a kind of Alien-style hybrid between human and extra-terrestrial as the realisation kicked in.

    It went on and on with me continuing to emphasise that this level of travel, to these countries, is a massive undertaking. He alternated between saying Listen Mate, I Know It's Hard and making veiled threats. First he started saying that the US office are building up their export capacity and if I don't take this now I won't get the opportunity again. I said well they'll obviously take over the Americas anyway, so where does that leave me in two years? He said well, you'll have proved yourself and can move on to better things.

    I left it by saying I'd have to think about it properly and will come back to him next week.

    I don't think it's a good offer tbh.

  12. #9862
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Time to run.

  13. #9863
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Tell him to get fucked.

  14. #9864
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Not that I know anything about anything on these matters, but he sounds like an absolute prick who's taking you for a ride.

  15. #9865
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Nb, a propos of nothing, I think they think the Cape Verde Islands are in the Caribbean.

  16. #9866
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I thought, well, there is no point turning this into a fight.

    That's as far as I got. Own worst enemy and probably deserves the shite hole.

  17. #9867
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I mean, I went on to turn it into a bit of a fight. But there's no point being aggressive, rude and unprofessional in response to your MD doing the same. Then you're just as bad as him and you close doors that may otherwise open to you.

  18. #9868
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wait until they add Madagascar to your route. For 2.5% of £1.5k, worth it.

  19. #9869
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    They're taking the piss out of you Jim.

  20. #9870
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Imagine doing all that work for a whopping commission of... *gets the calculator out* 17 grand.

  21. #9871
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    If he meets the targets. What if he doesn't? Zero commission?

  22. #9872
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Imagine doing all that work for a whopping commission of... *gets the calculator out* 17 grand.
    That's only after they get rid of the old man too.

  23. #9873
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    TBF 17 grand probably goes far on Bolivian Slum Hookers.

  24. #9874
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    Putting that kind of 'opportunity' to someone while offering a £0 increase in basic salary and then getting aggressive about it when you question it is genuinely disgusting behaviour.

    Get out of there as soon as you can Jim, they are awful, awful people.

  25. #9875
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Imagine seeing an experience to do business in that many different cultures purely as some fucking £ figure. You've all been reading Shindig's posts too much.

    Edit: That timing, yo.

  26. #9876
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Imagine seeing an experience to do business in that many different cultures purely as some fucking £ figure. You've all been reading Shindig's posts too much.

    Edit: That timing, yo.
    More guaranteed responsibility = more guaranteed money. It really is (or should be) as simple as that.

  27. #9877
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Sounds like a ridiculous amount of extra work for a relatively tiny commission bonus, and the same salary is proper cheek.

    The main issue you have now is only having one data point - you need alternative (realistic) comparable jobs to weigh it against.

    The vibe is definitely horrific, from your description.

  28. #9878
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    From what I've seen so far I can walk into hundreds of similar jobs to the one I'm in now at the same salary, and then the progression doesn't involve spending 15-20% of your life in Guatemala.

    I've tried to scout out what people do get paid for travelling to Latin America this often but the truth is (at least from the UK) I don't think they do.

  29. #9879
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    Just tell them no, don’t ask for an improvement or give them reasons. Just ‘no thanks; I don’t want to’

  30. #9880
    I used to be funny.
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    So ... that doesn't sound like 10 weeks of travels if you've got like a dozen+ countries under your belt. You'll never see home again.

  31. #9881
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It is a rough deal but the threads will be banging.

    Think of TTH.

  32. #9882
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    They're taking the piss out of you Jim.
    Massively. As soon as he isn't needed he's gone.

  33. #9883
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    Imagine seeing an experience to do business in that many different cultures purely as some fucking £ figure. You've all been reading Shindig's posts too much.

    Edit: That timing, yo.
    Oh hello, it's me again. I'll see what everyone else says so then I can say the exact opposite. I hope that will get me noticed. Gammon gammon gammon gammon

  34. #9884
    I used to be funny.
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    We really have to get you two to meet up.

  35. #9885
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just get out Jimbo. Plain and simple it's the only real advice and the only real course of action. Never mind comparisons, that place is a shite hole.

  36. #9886
    Senior Member Gray Fox's Avatar
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    I think he well knows he's got to go now, it's just getting that courage to leave a job he's quite comfy in. Or was until very recently.

  37. #9887
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Fast forward 12 months and we’ll be reading about his trip to Jamaica to sell diggers.
    I'm a twit

  38. #9888
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    Yeah, I wouldn’t be accepting that deal.

    Mike isn’t far off. Those terms aren’t appropriate for that level of commitment.

    Start answering those recruitment calls.

    2.5% of £140k is £3.5k pre tax. All that shit for if being well, an extra £2k cash in hand. You’d be better off just cutting Camembert out of your life and doubling your system betting stakes.

  39. #9889
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    The MD is fuming because they thought they had you by the balls, but little did he know about the secret council of retards that is TTH. Another fantastic victory over Asia.

    Who needs rescuing next then? This could lead to the greatest series of threads we've ever seen.

  40. #9890
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    They've groomed you to be their gimp Jim, this is why the MD is having an anuerysm, all his lolling about old soppy bollocks Floyd shovelling the unsociable hours shit in closed doors meetings is leaving him with egg on his face now you've developed a spine.

  41. #9891
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    As someone who has been both a junior and senior employee, the response of Jim's MD genuinely makes me annoyed from both perspectives. It's such unbelievably poor form and indicative of an organisation that are both shit with people and don't understand them.

  42. #9892
    I used to be funny.
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    They've literally being bunging him for like a year. I'd be mad too if I'd laid those backhanders down only to get told they wanted more money.

  43. #9893
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    Bunging him what?

    EDIT: Opportunity with no actual increase in salary at the end of it? Amazing.

  44. #9894
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The MD (IIRC) has given him a few brown envelopes.

  45. #9895
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    Seriously? I missed that amongst all the general bad management, foreign lols and his door getting kicked in.

  46. #9896
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I don't think there's anybody Shindig wouldn't bend over for. He probably wishes he'd been born in 17th century West Africa.

  47. #9897
    I used to be funny.
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    I've quit half the jobs I've ever had.

  48. #9898
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I've quit half the jobs I've ever had.
    I wouldn’t worry about the twat, he just needs to log off for good for his own brain.

  49. #9899
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Giggles, go do a jig and calm down lad.

  50. #9900
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    It was his line manager bunging him.

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