Nah. I'm imagining The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. Except the prison talky bit is just an hour of Jimmy talking to his boss en route to Cadiz.
Nah. I'm imagining The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. Except the prison talky bit is just an hour of Jimmy talking to his boss en route to Cadiz.
How much backhand cheddar have you trousered since this began?
Unless it's shit from pulling the finger out.Originally Posted by Spikey M
Not very much. It's in a tupperware in the third drawer down, if anyone fancies burgling my flat.
Again?
I dunno. All that time with the force and you get corrupted by some tractor peddling geezer.
Last edited by Shindig; 28-01-2022 at 09:18 AM.
One of my Champion titles is being changed to Ambassador. Not sure if I’m keen.
I'm a twit
Not the class mobility you were looking for?
Off shifts on 16th Feb. Hopefully that’s it after over a decade of the fuckers
This place has descended into cloak and dagger madness. I'm essentially in a team of three - me, Barney, and the Arab. Barney left the room for a minute just now, and the Arab instantly jumped on me to tell me that Barney was spreading rumours that I'm on £44k. (I'm on 32, I'd guess Barney is on about 29, or somewhere slightly less than me).
Barney plays really nice to my face, so fuck him, he's going down. Me and the Arab are now an official terrorist cell.
This year's Christmas Special is going to be amazing.
Plot twist when poor old Barney has said nothing and the Arab has been spreading the rumours and is trying to lay the groundwork for his defence if it comes out.
Very good point. Arabs are habitual liars.
Had a proper blow out argument with the boss today. Could go two ways but hopefully it just clears the air.
A few nights on the couch will do you good.
Burn
She just let me book Madrid. She's a good boss.
One way ticket?
Imagine 🤤
He knows about the backhanders.
Impossible. Even on the phone, the boss only refers to them in code as 'our little drink'.
That post with that avatar. Cosmic.
Vague.
Our Client wants to bring in a vaccine mandate to get onto site. Lots of the workforce is unvaccinated apparently. Even though I'm vaccinated, I'm still wading in on their behalf.
It's bollocks.
Damn right. Mandates won't change anybody's minds and you run the risk of losing staff long-term.
Basically, not been getting on very well with my new boss mainly because of her communication style over emails which has lead to us having some resentment. We had a pretty big argument about it yesterday which hopefully has reset it all.
Barney (I don't know why I called him Barney, it's a dreadful name) is 'working from home' with a 'migraine' today, and tried to fob some impossibly dull task of his off onto me 'because you're in the office'. When I told him where to stick it he went crying to the Arab on Teams, who then reported the conversation back to me. Full on schoolyard fucking bullshit from Barney, and I've no idea what's brought it on. He drove the Arab home yesterday and repeated to him that it's 'really unfair' that I'm on £44k (to be clear, I am absolutely nowhere near on 44k, and have no idea where he might have come by this 'info').
Think his head might have gone.
I'd still be dropping him subtle hints that I might be on £44k though.
They both sound like cretins to be fair with the other enjoying stirring the pot.
Nah up the ante and hint at £54k, see if you can send him over the edge.
Also let him know that you should be getting a nice raise when you take the South America job too.
Tell him his dads 44.
I'm a twit
Propose a fancy dress event and come as Forrest Gump in full football gear.
I'm a twit
I'd spend my lunchtimes browsing holiday homes in Barbados (when he's back in the office, obviously).
This is developing rather quickly.
Someone high up has got wind of the discontent and issued an anonymous survey to gauge the general consensus/concerns. Everyone is taking the opportunity to brand them Nazis and greedy capitalists whilst the unvaccinated now have a pedestal for their various conspiracy theories. It's the Client dictating this, not our own employer, so it's kind of a free shot even if it weren't anonymous. I think they might regret this one. It's certainly not vaccinated vs. unvaccinated here.
I might just accidentally leave my payslip out. Cut to the chase.
Re Ben, corporates still shitting themselves about covid are going to get found out more and more as time goes on. The public is very quickly moving on now.
While muttering to himself about the scandalous cost of refuelling a private jet these days.
Buy a Lewis Hamilton #44 cap then bounce into the office with it on, making sure you doff it to Barney.
"I'm fucking sick of the higher tax rate. What's your accountant recommending Barney?"
In other news, the boss just rang me from Calais to tell me that our biggest French customer's wife has 'committed hari fackin' kari'. When I asked him what he meant, imagining some business disaster, he said no, she blew her brains out in the woods.
What an industry this is.
Fucking hell.
Just spent 36 minutes trying to explain to an adult that 4 weeks and one month are not the same thing.
Picked a bad month to do that.
indeed.
Ran out of work today so we're all doing the shit Harvard training modules that full of tanned bastards talking about the customer experience. And a bloke from Lego with an appropriately Lego haircut.
Found a howler at work last week and have spent the time since frantically trying to work out how much of an issue it is and if I can solve it.
Massive, and no.
Supposed to be back to the office tomorrow, but going to fuck it off until next week. Looking forward to the canteen chips.
How much responsibility do you bear for it?
I should’ve caught it long ago if I really understood the plant in detail (which I didn’t as I was responsible for two and this one is massive and new). It’s an odd scenario that seems to have caught everyone off guard and we’ve got the absolute worst case of it which would be very unlikely to be repeated.
As with all these things though - trying to find a potential solution to share or suggest is far better than just screaming it’s fucked.
I’ve identified some plasters, but ultimately I think we are going to have to change our plans, or accept a whole lot of risk later in the year having utilised our contingencies very early in the year.
My new boss told me privately that he was gonna announce my appointment in our whole organisation weekly zoom call.
I said "if you're worried about pronouncing my mental polish surname you can just go with a-jones rather than akwkkwyskskski-jones instead"
He confidently said "nah I'll give it a go"
He absolutely butchered it. On one hand I massively respect his zero fucks given confidence, but this wasn't an earnest attempt that went wrong, he even pronounced the w as a w instead of a v. It's not that I'm offended, more that im slightly concerned that it might be indicative of generally chaotic vibes in his team.
I did enjoy him saying how I'd been doing excellent work in my current team, and one of my middle aged female colleagues immediately shouting "who the fuck has been talking to?!". The only thing that would have improved it is if she'd accidentally turned her microphone on.
Whats so hard about Balis?
Decent progress in the move from Cambridge to London.
All but received my first job offer from one firm and have a second interview (w/ skills test) for a different firm tomorrow, which will hopefully lead to a second job offer.
I'm expecting the second firm will win on a few measures - basically all but salary - so fingers crossed there, but feels good to at least have a job offer in the bag.
Bring on the tube.
The Tube is one of the best things about London. Pretty fast, basically always works, evocative and predictable noises, the smell of 200 years of shoe dust, the best map ever designed by humans, and absolutely everyone respects everyone else's boundaries (upskirters aside).
The only downside is that for most journeys you should walk instead.
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