I’ve a spreadsheet that moves down a cell, then back up, every 5 seconds or so. Stops me from ever showing as Away.Originally Posted by Manc
The project I'm currently on has run out of work and the expectation is that I just stare at my fucking screen until the end of my shift.
Is there any way to amend Teams so it appears that I'm active? God I miss Skype.
I'm a twit
Apparently all it takes is setting up a status message. Now I just need to stop my SP falling asleep.
Wonderful work.
I have a macro to filter information. If I'm super specific I can make it last an hour.
I occasionally check my stats for the year too. That takes an age to process the report.
I tried this in my last job just with a little exe that does nothing other than keep the screen on when I was presenting stuff because the Sleep time was unhelpfully low and we weren't allowed to change it.
Had it about a year and then corporate IT noticed and had a proper hissy fit, bypassing any initial "Hello sorry we'll need you to uninstall that security amirite?" requests to bin it and straight to the REMOVE IT RIGHT NOW OR WE'LL TELL YOUR MANAGER AND FIRE YOU AND KILL YOUR FAMILY stage of the process.
I remember years ago I got caught on http://codereddit.com
Oscillating fan attached to the mouse, untraceable.
I've been caught shopping twice on the clock.
The project has collapsed.
I forgot my mask today so I kindly asked the office manager if I could have one of the ones kept locked in a cupboard here.
She was like " :/ well Igor they're not there to just... give out, they're just there for the first aid supplies". If they're not there to just 'give out', I'm not entirely sure what fucking eventuality they're being kept for? There's like fifty of the fucking things, and only about ten of us regularly in the office. She's usually alright as well.
Nobody even wears a mask in our office.
We don't! I only needed it to go to the shop and get the milk. Which makes it even more confusing.
Office milk bitch.
"Would you like a little bickie with that, Laura?"
"...go on then"
"Oh you are naughty."
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Last edited by Spikey M; 05-07-2021 at 10:57 AM.
lol at igor being the milk monitor
I'm a twit
*Milk bad boy.
Milf monitor, perhaps.
"Send him for some milk please, he's staring again"
Reckon he's been sent out to pick up some tartan paint and a long weight a few times too
Our team ran out of milk and I offered to replace it you horrible bullies.
"We're out of milk, who's going to get some?"
Don't be rude to him or he'll give you your milk last.
Two internal jobs applied for. I forgot how annoying it is to fiddle with cover letters and CV's after 6 years. Worth it to go up a grade or two, though.
Back in the office next week, too.
Last edited by Shindig; 06-07-2021 at 05:16 PM.
The bloke who sits next to me has just asked if I believe in evolution.
A quick exchange of views has been had. I've put my position forward, but he's just not having it. 'You can't prove it', he says. More as we get it.
I'm going to need more information.
What prompted this conversation?
What does he believe? Standard creationism or something more mental?
I'd love if that was just completely out of the blue.
He isn't religious at all. He just doesn't believe it, much in the same way that people don't believe in the moon landings or whatever. He accepts that animals adapt, but he says there's no evidence of the 'switch' from one species to the next.
He also refuses my definition of a species, which isn't helping. Still, I think he has room to grow. We'll get there.
It came about because I knew what the main sea port was in Ecuador (work stuff), which made someone else, amazed at this knowledge, ask me what came first, the chicken or the egg. I said probably the egg. Then he went full evolution.
Has to be the egg. The first chicken had to come out of something.
Also if that's the question they asked because you knew a port in Ecuador the bants in your office must be even more mental than I had previously assumed.
Slip a TTH card in his drawer.
It's the egg because there were egg laying animals around millions of years before the chicken.
Yep, the chickens genes and evolutionary mutations come from the parents. They combine in the egg.
It’s deadline day for the team leader jobs. Last I heard, I was the only applicant.
And whatever laid the egg would have been very, very, very close to being a chicken, but not quite a chicken.
I thought everyone but the American fringe of Christianity accepted Evolution these days? Even the Catholic fucking Church does through the lense of "but God made it happen".
Things other than chickens came in eggs for quite a while.
What they did in their own time is none of our business.
It probably isn't the best (echo chamber innit) but I'm glad my team is all pretty much on the same page regarding these basic measures of intelligence.
I felt well behind with work but smashed a load in today and it feels good.
I spend most of my day chatting about Love Island onMSNTeams.
I'm a twit
I fucking love Love Island at the moment.
Don't get me wrong, it's a sack of shit and any man watching it is a mong, but the wife watching it has me being massively productive. I built half the garden shed this evening while she was catching up. I'll do the roof and the door tomorrow while she watches tonight's installment.
Spikey.
starting a masters in october
Bit much for a milk bitch isn't it?starting a masters in october
Milk Master.
Milk Attendant (MA).
even getting dunked on by mo ffs
Oh well, no need to cry over spilt milk.
Tell us about the degree.
Shan't
Male nurse?
Despite a year and a bit out of the office, it came back pretty quick. Bringing us back for the phone cover is a bit daft though. We had phone cover but they're roped into other telephone tasks. Makes it all feel rather pointless so anyone answering the DWP queries gets 20 calls a day.
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