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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2351
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    My new consultant is baller. She apologised to me today because she's not managed to let me go home early many days yet

  2. #2352
    Fuck like you cook.
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    My last post said it was my day off before I got called in. Today was also meant to be my day off until I got called again in to make it 13 on the spin. I am absolutely broken physically.

    I haven't started on the sauce section as planned but Wednesday I will be so that should be fun



    I do feel like I'm learning more and getting better but not as fast as I would like. I still need to work in a cleaner manner whilst maintaining my current speed during service but it's hard. I also need to stop overlooking little things. We don't run a lunch menu on Sunday for example so I didn't need to unwrap a certain gastro, today I got caught short finding out I didn't make Tzatziki which goes on one of the dishes.
    Last edited by Smjffy; 15-09-2019 at 12:10 AM.

  3. #2353
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    Is there a reason why you can't say "no"?

  4. #2354
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    I currently have a desktop PC but was recently told I had a choice between a Surface Pro Tablet or Surface Laptop. Obviously I’m gonna choose a laptop cos I’m at a desk 99% of the time and I’m not a child. Was on holiday when the choice was made and my line manager “isn’t sure” which she picked.
    I'm a twit

  5. #2355
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The tablet will have a keyboard attachment.

  6. #2356
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It does, I’ve seen them cos lots of people have them already but they seem like floppy pieces of rubbish that always fall down. Plus you can’t have it on your lap and type, should the need arise.
    I'm a twit

  7. #2357
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    Surface pro tablet is shite as a work pc. More problems than it's worth. Better just having a laptop.

  8. #2358
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Or even better, a PC like a normal person.

  9. #2359
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    You won’t put a PC on your knee.

  10. #2360
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Not if you are a normal person.

  11. #2361
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    See that's America right there. Have a desktop so it's a 9-5 attitude.

    Over here it's laptop central so we can work from home. Aye. Good one.

  12. #2362
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Are you only allowed to have one computer or what? Also, lol at the US having a 9-5 attitude. I wish.

  13. #2363
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    What’s wrong with the Surface Pro as a work laptop anyway? It has Windows 10 and from looking at specs you can get exactly the same numbers as the Surface Laptop. Is the detachable keyboard really bad or is it just too small?

  14. #2364
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    It doesn’t stay open if it’s on your knee. You need it on a table.

    And yeah it’s with a view to working from home, which I don’t mind cos I can skive more easily.
    I'm a twit

  15. #2365
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    I think they gave us an early version and it's a sack of shit.

    Had to restart it twice today after taking it to a meeting.

    The little box connector you need is a pain too. The tablet only has one USB.

    For light email use it'd be fine. If you're ramming a load of software and digital security stuff on there it's horrid.

  16. #2366
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Ah yes that makes sense. When I was looking at specs I hadn’t thought of ports.

  17. #2367
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    If its a Pro 6 it should be fine as long they invest in a dock for you.

    I have the 15in Book 2 set up with the dock and two monitors on it and really like it.

  18. #2368
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I've got a surface book 2 and it's superb. Only downside is having three monitors seriously impacts performance so I've reduced down to two.

  19. #2369
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I've got a surface book 2 and it's superb. Only downside is having three monitors seriously impacts performance so I've reduced down to two.
    It does? Although I suppose you will tax it more for work than I do sat at home with occasional gaming on it!

    I use mine with two monitors + the book screen but was contemplating upgrading to a 3rd actual monitor. I have the one with the 1060 in it if it makes any difference.

  20. #2370
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    It does? Although I suppose you will tax it more for work than I do sat at home with occasional gaming on it!

    I use mine with two monitors + the book screen but was contemplating upgrading to a 3rd actual monitor. I have the one with the 1060 in it if it makes any difference.
    Does your machine handle games ok with the 1060? Mine’s a complete shit heap even without an external monitor.

  21. #2371
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    I have never been a PC gamer but yeah I would say it does ok.

    I have played PUBG with a few people on here and handled that pretty well, it has been a while though. Recently I have tried Siege, CSGO and Rocket League and they all ran well. It is just fiddly to ensure its using the Nvidia GPU.

    The SurfaceGaming subreddit has people testing games on various machines and has some tips.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/SurfaceGaming/

  22. #2372
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    I have never been a PC gamer but yeah I would say it does ok.

    I have played PUBG with a few people on here and handled that pretty well, it has been a while though. Recently I have tried Siege, CSGO and Rocket League and they all ran well. It is just fiddly to ensure its using the Nvidia GPU.

    The SurfaceGaming subreddit has people testing games on various machines and has some tips.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/SurfaceGaming/
    Mine’s an XPS but has the same graphics card. Which is, as you say, if it’s actually using it at all. It’s a fiddly piece of crap so I just bought an Xbox instead.

  23. #2373
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    It does? Although I suppose you will tax it more for work than I do sat at home with occasional gaming on it!

    I use mine with two monitors + the book screen but was contemplating upgrading to a 3rd actual monitor. I have the one with the 1060 in it if it makes any difference.
    I run 2 external monitors and the built in screen. However, mine are all running in 4K mode - perhaps that's why? It seems to be more of a power issue than anything, as everything is powered by the single power cable.

  24. #2374
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    Yeah I think there is issues with running two external 4K monitors at 60hz.

    There is a guy on the surface subreddit who sells docks and he wrote up a decent guide on it. I likely wont get a 4k monitor for a little while yet so will likely be something to worry about if/when they bring out the Book 3.

    https://dancharblog.wordpress.com/20...iple-monitors/

  25. #2375
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Have any of you done PRINCE2? Or have any opinions on it.
    I'm a twit

  26. #2376
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Have any of you done PRINCE2? Or have any opinions on it.
    I think Kiko and/or Adamski have. It's pretty well known and respected across the tech industry.

  27. #2377
    I used to be funny.
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    They're stepping up their efforts on the automated stuff now. Should deal with about a third of the stuff coming in. Thank fuck I'm trained on other things.

  28. #2378
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Absolutely haven't done Prince 2. Fuck project managers.

  29. #2379
    Senior Member Adamski's Avatar
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    Thanks pal.

    I’ve done it, yeah. I guess it’s something employers look for but I’ve never applied anything I learned from it in any job.

    It’s not flexible at all so when you come across something a little out of the ordinary it falls on its arse as a methodology IMO.

  30. #2380
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    All those things are impractical and just another line for the CV.

  31. #2381
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I did a Prince2 foundation thing about a decade ago and had entirely forgotten about it until reading it there.

  32. #2382
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    All those things are impractical and just another line for the CV.
    Thats my sole intention.

    Work are either stopping being involved with everything I do, or giving it to other people to work on. So before they realise I am surplus, I figured I’d use some of their budget to make my CV look a bit better.

    Not quite as bad as the bloke who left in July who authorised payment for himself to attend a “well-being at work” course, while working his notice period, who then left to become Head Of Wellbeing (or something as equally hippie) at some big utility company.
    I'm a twit

  33. #2383
    I used to be funny.
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    Personally, I think it's great we have a booking system that allows two or more people to reserve the same appointment slot.

  34. #2384
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We have a right dick head of a manager at work. She's about 97 and she enjoys belittling people. Well, on Wednesday she did it to one of the team for asking 'have we sorted lunch breaks out?'. It's a fair question, we've always been told to sort them out to ensure we don't all go at the same time. Anyway, for no reason at all she huffed and puffed before saying 'well it's pretty obvious who is going when. Why do you always have to panic about it?'.

    No idea what her problem is, but it pissed the whole team off,. So in an act of defiance we deliberately didn't sort out lunch breaks yesterday, ignored her in beautiful, blistering silence when she asked if it had been sorted, and all went to lunch the second she got back from hers.

    The proper manager is in today, so we'll pay for it, but it's the first revolt I've ever been involved in.

  35. #2385
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    One of my colleagues lost Germany to me a few months ago and has been a bit resentful ever since, as he only got puny Holland in return and so often has nothing to do when the UK is quiet. After several weeks of quiet seething, he went in to see the big boss about it. In response the big boss has given him a new task which is to go out into the warehouse when it's quiet and work on the photography catalogue of every single item in our range.

    I tried not to laugh when he was complaining about that as well.

  36. #2386
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I didn't get the policy job, and here is the lol feedback:

    Lewis expressed some interesting views around challenges facing Defence, showing that he could provide challenge. However, the board felt that his views would have been more persuasive if they had been better supported by a logical or evidence-based argument - his points came across as opinion-based, even when given the opportunity to expand his views. Lewis may wish to consider ways to demonstrate competencies and interpersonal skills, both through good interview preparation, but potentially through other means such as involvement in non-work related activities for example voluntary work, sports or other hobbies.
    The opinion stuff annoys me given that 1) they specifically asked for my opinion[s]; and 2) I kept referring back to actual published academic work that I've done all by myself, which obviously met logical and 'evidence-based' standards otherwise it wouldn't exist and they wouldn't have greeted me as 'Dr Betts'. The rest of it though get fucked it's not Love Island.

  37. #2387
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Maybe switch it up from milk to orange juice at the bar to show off your spontaneous side.

  38. #2388
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The second bit is lol. People always love the cricket stuff on my CV. I added 'ECB qualified umpire' to it recently and had a sudden vision of bathing in gold coins as employers will finally have real evidence of my decision-making skills under pressure.

  39. #2389
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I don't put any personal stuff on my CV. Partly because I'm supremely boring and "I had a really nice saison the other day" isn't going to help matters and the only interviews I've done where I've ever thought to use that stuff from other people's CVs is where they're giving me so little while not seeming like a dickhead that I'm just trying to get them talking about something to find out if they're going to be any good or not.

  40. #2390
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Lewis getting done by the bureaucracy is pretty lol. I do love the 'be evidence-based' shit on one side, and 'be a better lad' on the other.

  41. #2391
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've got too fat to get away with 'going to the gym' as my stock answer to the hobbies question, so I can never apply for a job again.

  42. #2392
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    The only personal stuff they asked me was what I did to 'keep going' during my unemployment (which is shorter on my CV than it was in reality), and I basically said that I was unemployed not ill so I just cracked on with life because I'm not a mimsy cunt. Whatever. I think my face just didn't fit, which I thought might have been the case. But I'm old enough to hear that. I don't need two out of seven for 'delivering at pace' after I told you I'm nine months ahead of my current annual targets just so you can give me a crap overall score.

  43. #2393
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    Did I read that right? On your feedback, they rated you as a candidate to be a 2/7?

  44. #2394
    I used to be funny.
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    I think the only time I've put personal stuff on my CV is when I was applying for moderator jobs with Tombola. Even had DM as a reference. Thank fuck I found some proper work.

  45. #2395
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    Did I read that right? On your feedback, they rated you as a candidate to be a 2/7?
    No, I got two out of seven for that specific competency. I also got one out of seven for teamwork, which is wank because 1) I'm a one man band in my current role (and obviously was in academic terms); and 2) they then gave me six out of seven for 'experience', even though those two things form part of the overall experience criteria along with general subject knowledge and that. It's a bit nonsensical overall I think.

  46. #2396
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    What shithole scores out of 7?

    Jesus

    Head up though wee man. You’ll get the next one.

  47. #2397
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    lolled at "wee man".

  48. #2398
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd rather hear about the make-up of Lewis' office. The ex-civil service lot in our place are the biggest whoppers by miles. This week off couldn't have come at a better time.

  49. #2399
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's half ex-services doing it as a semi-retirement doss job, half civil servants re-deployed from elsewhere working around them, and then a couple of wallies creating problems out of thin air and calling it management.

  50. #2400
    I used to be funny.
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    Sounds about right. It's always odd how the worst ones survive because the decent managers simply don't want to deal with them. So they put them with a manager equally inept. Seniority should count for nowt when you're down to 40% productivity and loudly trying to rearrange your smear test.

    Yeah, that's how my week went.

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