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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3901
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Who can see the slight flaw in that system?

  2. #3902
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Who can see the slight flaw in that system?
    Depends on his function within the organisation.

  3. #3903
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    At least 90% of emails have no need to be sent anyway. People just filling in their day fabricating the illusion that they're busy.

  4. #3904
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Stop describing me you bastard.

  5. #3905
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    In a buying/selling job, most emails are pretty necessary.

    Chase-up phone calls, on the other hand...

  6. #3906
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Giggles might just be the great mind of our time.

  7. #3907
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    One of the bints has decided to come back to work and implement social distancing like she’s just thought of it.

  8. #3908
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just got called into the MD's office, he tells me the company are 'very appreciative of my efforts', but he can't guarantee there will be any bonus available at the end of the year so he's convinced the chairman to allow up to 10 days' holiday to be paid rather than taken.

    Trying to work out if that's as good an offer as he says it is; having taken 1 day's holiday in 2020 thus far, I suspect the answer is no.

  9. #3909
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I'm sure I'm being stupid here. Are they saying they'll pay you extra for holidays you won't get to take?

  10. #3910
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Take all ten of them now and find out.

  11. #3911
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Yeah, take the ten days essentially at double pay and also book ten days of your actual holiday.

  12. #3912
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They're saying they'll pay me the time (so double I guess) instead of being able to take up to 10 days of my existing holiday (I have 16 left to take + 3 mandatory at Christmas).

    So if I took them up on this I would have 6 days off available this year but a bit more money (payable in December).

  13. #3913
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I think I'd actually take the days off out of principle.

  14. #3914
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Yeah. Fuck that.

  15. #3915
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    'You get no bonus this year, but at least you get less vacation days!'

    Deal of the century.

  16. #3916
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    He was offering it to me quite earnestly as a really generous deal, so good to know I'm not as gullible as I might be.

  17. #3917
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    It never works out as much as you'd think, either.

    Someone at my place did the same and came back to me asking if I'd made an error, as the extra pay was hardly anything.

  18. #3918
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Given I'll end the year with about 247 days of annual leave left over as will most others, you can see the sense behind it.

  19. #3919
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Can’t you carry it forward?
    I'm a twit

  20. #3920
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    You can never carry anything forward here, it's use it or lose it. The chairman is from another era and just doesn't like the idea of anyone being off work, he also 'doesn't believe in' working from home even in the current circumstances.

  21. #3921
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    I can only carry forward 10. Thankfully that's been eased due to COVID so I will be semi-retired next year.

  22. #3922
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah, I have about forty days to use by next year. On fucking what?

  23. #3923
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    'You get no bonus this year, but at least you get less vacation days!'

    Deal of the century.

  24. #3924
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Yeah, I have about forty days to use by next year. On fucking what?
    Not being at work.

  25. #3925
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I can do that at work.

  26. #3926
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    We'll now you can do it at home for a bit of a change of scenery.

  27. #3927
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    19 days left to take, sadly with the house needing doing and my holiday down the shitter any time off taken will be me doing DIY I imagine.

  28. #3928
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Drill yourself silly.

  29. #3929
    I used to be funny.
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    I've got 5 days left. I was thinking about booking them in but I've had so much time off already with furloughs and 4 day weeks. I can carry them over and then might sell them in February. Or book in a three week SUPERHOLIDAY somewhere in 2021.

  30. #3930
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I just heard one of the warehouse people come into the manager's office and ask to borrow money because he's skint. Is that a thing? Surely not. People really are useless.

  31. #3931
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    People being skint is a thing, yes.

  32. #3932
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    Yes people get advances on their wages all the time.

  33. #3933
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've never heard of that and I've been in some skanky places. Shows what I know.

  34. #3934
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've heard of it, but I've never known it happen.

  35. #3935
    I used to be funny.
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    Unprecedented times. I've not seen it happen.

  36. #3936
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    One of my mates at the same company got it because he was needing a final push for his house deposit (so he got his annual wage upfront and just lived off commission).

    Another pal needed an advance to save him from a payday loan. Happens much more often than you think.

    For what it's worth I'd never engage it as it's embarrassing and hard to turn around.

  37. #3937
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    One of my mates at the same company got it because he was needing a final push for his house deposit (so he got his annual wage upfront and just lived off commission).
    That sounds like about the most stressful thing imaginable.

  38. #3938
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    That sounds like about the most stressful thing imaginable.
    It gets worse as he had a no-pay month so had to take a 'loan' from the company which he's still paying back 13 months later.

  39. #3939
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I'm taking part in a web-seminar today with an MP but I have to use Zoom for the first time. Does anyone know how I can connect my microphone via Bluetooth on a laptop as talking into the laptop itself sounds distorted and crackled?

  40. #3940
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I'm taking part in a web-seminar today with an MP but I have to use Zoom for the first time. Does anyone know how I can connect my microphone via Bluetooth on a laptop as talking into the laptop itself sounds distorted and crackled?
    If your laptop has built in bluetooth use that, if it doesn't you'll need a dongle for it.

    Failing that just use your smartphone as that'll have bluetooth and you don't need a massive screen for a VC.

    Also you can dial in as well and just use the laptop for video only.

  41. #3941
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Oh, there's an app for the phone?!

  42. #3942
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I just heard one of the warehouse people come into the manager's office and ask to borrow money because he's skint. Is that a thing? Surely not. People really are useless.
    Or maybe he just doesn't get paid much and got hit by an unexpected bill?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    Oh, there's an app for the phone?!
    Yeah they have apps. Work fine for this stuff.

  43. #3943
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I've figured it out with the app. Thanks, guys.

    My question is going to be:

    The hospitality industry is the sector with the most new starters excluded from Rishi Sunak's schemes with HospitalityUK placing the number at nearly 500,000 but there is estimated to be between 1.6 to over 2M excluded from the Job Retention Scheme, I am but one of them. March was the last wage I earned, April I received nothing from the Universal Credit because my payment from the job HMRC couldn't prove was mine wiped all of out it. Since May I have received just short of £400 a month thus leaving me nearly £4,000 in debt. With accommodation refunds over £35K and £25K winter debt, my employer was able to furlough some staff but not others due to the RTI cut off but then she was refused the CBILS loan after a four week wait and she did not qualify for any grant as the rates are over £51K. As a result she has had to personally borrow over £107,000K to be able to reopen so together we can contribute to the economy whilst retaining jobs that many are going to lose. The schemes are great, we know this, they have helped many out, including some of my team mates but why have they not helped me or my employer?
    It's been selected out of a fair few hundred as we only get to ask ten. OOF! Bring it on.

  44. #3944
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Good luck.


  45. #3945
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    "And that's all we have time for today".

  46. #3946
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Or maybe he just doesn't get paid much and got hit by an unexpected bill?
    He's a known idiot, but my point was more that I'd assumed companies would never agree to such a thing.

  47. #3947
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Of course they would, it means they've got them by the balls.

  48. #3948
    Fuck like you cook.
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    I couldn't connect my mic so the host asked my question.

    BBC News at 6pm and 10pm if anyone wants to see the sort of stuff I've moaned about.

  49. #3949
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Work would be the last place I’d ever go looking for a sun for exactly the reason SvN said. You’d be better off with some lad after your knees.

  50. #3950
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    I couldn't connect my mic so the host asked my question.

    BBC News at 6pm and 10pm if anyone wants to see the sort of stuff I've moaned about.
    Tim, tip for the future, get a hands free headphone/mic combo for your phone. At this point they're better than a laptop mic/cam set-up.

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