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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3851
    Just Luca, but still a DJ Luca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    They're now listing all the non-white employees and speculating on what their reactions might be if the guy isn't sacked. They really need to work on getting a thicker office door so I can't hear all this.


    Straight out of The Office (US). You could see Michael and Dwight trying to figure out how the decision might be accepted by Stanley/Kelly/Oscar.
    Last edited by Luca; 15-06-2020 at 10:41 PM.

  2. #3852
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    not to abuse my powers but if it worked i did your timestamp for you
    You can't timestamp when it's embedded, which is why I linked (I don't manually edit urls post 11pm).

  3. #3853
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    You can't timestamp when it's embedded, which is why I linked (I don't manually edit urls post 11pm).
    I’ll look into that functionality. Seems weird it doesn’t react like every other site ever.

  4. #3854
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luca View Post


    Straight out of The Office (US). You could see Michael and Dwight trying to figure out how the decision might be accepted by Stanley/Kelly/Oscar.
    Better Off Ted had a great bit on this where the automatic doors wouldn't recognise black people so they did a cost benefit analysis on whether to remove the doors or fire all the black people.

  5. #3855
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    You're doing that episode a disservice there. It's more complex than that, and I don't think it's ever suggested that they get rid of all the black employees. The joke underpinning it is that it's cheaper to hire a minimum wage white guy to follow each black employee around and activate the sensors for them than address the problem with the sensors.

  6. #3856
    I used to be funny.
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    They've stopped repairing the automatic door in the office on this basis as well. For the sake of two disabled members of staff, it's not worth it.

  7. #3857
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Alright Tory.

  8. #3858
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Massive flood in the server room at work.

  9. #3859
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Officially requested to work from home until 22nd July today, as that’s the start of the summer holidays. I don’t see why it won’t be approved.

    Then even beyond then I reckon I’ll wfh on Tuesdays and Thursdays anyways, just because.

    Also had to jump start my car again last night. Make sure you’re taking yours out for a regular spin (every 5 days is my minimum aim) if yours is just sitting there.
    I'm a twit

  10. #3860
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    A job has come up that I really want to go for, but the deadline for handing in my notice for the academic year was the end of May. So going to suck it up and ask the head tomorrow if he'll waive my notice period in the event I'm offered the job. Nothing to lose really as I was resigned to staying another year anyway, so if he says no it's no big deal.
    So I chickened out of that and asked about notice periods in a roundabout way and got my answer (‘no’, basically). Emailed the school I’m applying to and asked if they’d consider my application if I had a later start date and they said yes. Told my Head of Department and Head Teacher today I was going to apply, and coincidentally they announce this afternoon that the position of Second in Department is going to be advertised. I feel a bit conceited saying this but that’s a pretty big coincidence (they know I want to progress but the opportunities haven’t been there at my current school). So going to apply for both and see what happens.

  11. #3861
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Come on then Giggles. 'Co Laois'. How the hell do you say that?

  12. #3862
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Come on then Giggles. 'Co Laois'. How the hell do you say that?
    You keep someone on a tight _______.

  13. #3863
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My biggest German customer yesterday put in an urgent order for 78 of a particular type of dipstick - MUST BE WITH US TOMORROW. Now, we've never sold this dipstick, and can only locate 10 of them in the world (all in India). When I explained this, the woman in Bremen sounded like she was almost in tears of frustrated anger. 'WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR TOMORROW?'

    Why would you need 78 of a certain dipstick TOMORROW? I just don't get it. Aren't dipsticks all the same anyway?

  14. #3864
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    It's almost always that their customer has placed the order and nobody can be bothered to manage their expectations. For us it's the drippy wet ones that clearly won't give their customers a proper lead time.

  15. #3865
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If you ever find a customer who isn't 'drippy wet', please do send them my way. The hand-to-mouth type trading setups are the worst.

    I love certain well-rehearsed conversation streams.

    'Do you have this item?'
    'No.'
    'When will you have it?'
    'Never.'
    'But... our customer has a requirement.'
    'Does he?'
    'We need it delivered within three weeks for a tender contract.'
    'Do you?'
    'PLEASE GIVE AN UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE'
    'There is no update. We still don't do it.'
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 18-06-2020 at 09:48 AM.

  16. #3866
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    The furlough dream is over for me. Back to work on the 23rd.

  17. #3867
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Customers sending WhatsApp messages

  18. #3868
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Fucking tell me about it. I have a guy in Zaragoza who'll send me a picture of an engine at 10pm on a weeknight and then complain at 9am that I never quoted him. Fuck off mate.

  19. #3869
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I’ve an out of office on my email and on my voice mail so these cunts are just waiting on a reply now because they don’t know I’m unavailable. If I even message back to just say I’m not in then they’ll latch and torment me for the rest of the day.

  20. #3870
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Are you using your personal phone for work? If so, you need a work phone pronto and it needs to go off if you're not working. Fuck that shit.

  21. #3871
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Work pays for my phone and I can use it as a personal one so it’s the only one I use and I don’t have to answer it out of hours or anything like that. It’s just really unprofessional to send a WhatsApp, he’ll lose hours before he realises I’m not working today or tomorrow.

  22. #3872
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Block them on whatsapp.

  23. #3873
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Not a bad should but wouldn’t they still think they’ve sent it?

  24. #3874
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Even if he's the only one doing it type out a text that looks like you're sending it to a bunch of folk saying you'll no longer be responding the Whatsapp messages, they should direct any messages / requests / whatever to whichever form of contact you prefer.

  25. #3875
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I'm not sure.

    Edit: Ian's idea is good.

  26. #3876
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/sec...ked-by-someone

    Any messages sent to a contact who has blocked you will always show one check mark (message sent), and never show a second check mark (message delivered).

  27. #3877
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/sec...ked-by-someone

    Any messages sent to a contact who has blocked you will always show one check mark (message sent), and never show a second check mark (message delivered).
    Good to know. I have the blue ticks turned off completely but that would at least show someone it hasn’t sent. Might go through my list and block all customers on it.
    I might put Ian’s one in future out of office outlook replies and eventually they’d all get used to it anyway.

    For now I’ve changed my ‘status’ to say I’m off and to call the office number.

  28. #3878
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    So as you can imagine, as someone that organises an Internatioanl conference, COVID wasn't the best news.

    It means my life has been hell for 8 weeks trying to get people to understand bad technology that they picked because they ignored anyone who knew anything. It's been 8:30 starts and 1am finishes for most of that time. Although sometimes I found gaps in the endless meetings and WFH meant I could get a nap in every once in a while. The opening is 10 days from now, same as it would be if COVID never happened.

    Meanwhile, Trump, current president of the country our conference was in, has implemented an immigration executive order that would have torn up my and 95% of the staffs VISAs, 100% of our scholarship recipients and 50% of our fee-paying delegates.

    I think COVID actually saved us from obilivion whereas now it's just possible bankruptcy.

  29. #3879
    I used to be funny.
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    Wild idea: Host it on the board.

  30. #3880
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Finally. 4th July.

    What a pussy that I am actually crying with happiness.

  31. #3881
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Cunt rang me twice again this morning (despite me having an out of office phone message) and only rang the office this afternoon according to the Teams group. Imbecile has lost a whole day there

  32. #3882
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    We've been told today that most of us won't be returning to the office until early September at the earliest and by the sounds of it, it might not happen this year. Excellent.

  33. #3883
    I used to be funny.
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    Our lot have put in place procedures to make it really hard to pop back into the office.

  34. #3884
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    First day back yesterday. No laptop, no emails, no phone calls. Grand.

  35. #3885
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Our office is pretty much back at full capacity. Owner knows the value of TEAM WORK so lol @ those sticking with WFH.

  36. #3886
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I am getting buttfucked by workload at the moment to the point that I've half given up. I went in to the MD's office to ask when the others are coming back because this is not sustainable. I found him having changed into his golf gear and about to set off for the course having booked a short notice half day. He said 'It's all a bit up in the air at the moment' and headed for the first tee. Great.

  37. #3887
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Another secondment opportunity has come up; this time as a data analyst for the local test and trace thingy.

    Doing actual helpful work that would look good on my CV vs carry on doing the bare minimum and getting paid to sunbathe

    Ehhh I’ll skip this one.
    I'm a twit

  38. #3888
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Our office is pretty much back at full capacity. Owner knows the value of TEAM WORK so lol @ those sticking with WFH.
    I bet your office is full of sales wankers who unironically say shit like "team work makes the dream work".


  39. #3889
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I am getting buttfucked by workload at the moment to the point that I've half given up. I went in to the MD's office to ask when the others are coming back because this is not sustainable. I found him having changed into his golf gear and about to set off for the course having booked a short notice half day. He said 'It's all a bit up in the air at the moment' and headed for the first tee. Great.
    Is there any way you can join him for a round? I'm picturing a Goldfinger scenario.

  40. #3890
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I am getting buttfucked by workload at the moment to the point that I've half given up. I went in to the MD's office to ask when the others are coming back because this is not sustainable. I found him having changed into his golf gear and about to set off for the course having booked a short notice half day. He said 'It's all a bit up in the air at the moment' and headed for the first tee. Great.
    It'll all be worth it when your sitcom about it hits the air.

  41. #3891
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The Koreans wouldn't have left you in the lurch like this, Jim.

  42. #3892
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    No, they wouldn't, bless their little hearts. They also would still have me on 1% annual rises negotiated by the no doubt tigerish trade union over there, so it's swings and roundabouts. And at least here you can talk to colleagues during the working day without it being the most awkward thing ever.

  43. #3893
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I bet your office is full of sales wankers who unironically say shit like "team work makes the dream work".

    No the sales team are all remote obviously, but I'd expect nothing less from someone which such little understanding of capitalism.

  44. #3894
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    How long have you been there? If it's > 1 yr then just find something else and leave

  45. #3895
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I am getting buttfucked by workload at the moment to the point that I've half given up. I went in to the MD's office to ask when the others are coming back because this is not sustainable. I found him having changed into his golf gear and about to set off for the course having booked a short notice half day. He said 'It's all a bit up in the air at the moment' and headed for the first tee. Great.
    Permanent furlough for more. This is your new work load.

  46. #3896
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I am getting buttfucked by workload at the moment to the point that I've half given up. I went in to the MD's office to ask when the others are coming back because this is not sustainable. I found him having changed into his golf gear and about to set off for the course having booked a short notice half day. He said 'It's all a bit up in the air at the moment' and headed for the first tee. Great.
    I was in the same position this time last week, I absolutely gave up and just let it all pile up. Sure enough once my boss realised I was ignoring the emails he was sending me and customers started bitching at him we had a little sit down where I refused to do the work of three people anymore and a temp (his daughter) started yesterday to cover most of the menial stuff.

  47. #3897
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm kind of doing that now. Inbox is up to 51 at time of writing (normally try to end each day on <5). There's just no way of controlling it without someone else to answer the phone.

  48. #3898
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    Mine were up at nearly 200 but that is across 5 or 6 inboxes, most of which were for departments I'm not even supposed to be working in.

  49. #3899
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Jimmy taking the knee.

  50. #3900
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    I have hundreds and thousands of unread emails.

    If it’s that important they’ll email again.

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