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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2051
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    Bumped into one of the other candidates from the Head of History job I went for back in Feb. Turns out they offered him the job but on about £3k less than what he was already on, so he told them where to go. Just confirms what I thought before about it being something of a blessing in disguise that I didn’t get it.

  2. #2052
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Or he’s lying to you because he’s heard about the toilet cubicle incident.
    I'm a twit

  3. #2053
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've been sat at court since 10am, somehow my first hearing didn't go in until 11:45. My next one is meant to be at 2 but unless they make up time my - already hour long - commute home is going to hit rush hour square in the face.

    Nobody turned up for this mornings and I'm not expecting anyone this afternoon, which makes my life very easy but I will have sat here for 4/5/6 hours for less than 10 minutes of actual work. Fucking hell. I could be with the lads drinking to Eazy.

  4. #2054
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    What did you do?

  5. #2055
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your mum

  6. #2056
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Sad.

  7. #2057
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I think you meant "Lad."

  8. #2058
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    She is a bit but all the bits are in the right places.

  9. #2059
    I used to be funny.
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    I can't even begin to describe what the fuck happened today. Just know that it now involves a Monday morning of getting witness statements for a grievance case.

  10. #2060
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Fridays are class.

    Usually my line manager is off; the gimpy woman who steals my work is off; and the girl who sits opposite me who likes to give me “projects” (her work which she can’t be arsed to do) is off. So the rest of us spend most of the day sitting around chatting.

    However usually my bosses boss is usually in, and he sits next to me. But he’s now working his notice so, despite being laid back anyway (honestly he’s proper awesome) he bow clearly gives zero l fucks so Fridays are the ultra doss.
    I'm a twit

  11. #2061
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Had a job interview this evening. Bit weird but I'd had a skype interview with them on Friday and was meant to go to their office this afternoon but couldn't get off for it. So they asked if I could meet them for coffee this evening.

    Anyway, pretty sure the CEO (it's a start up, I met with the CEO and the CTO) was on coke. He kept sniffing and touching/rubbing his nose loads. He was very animated - lots of gesticulation - and he did nearly all the talking for just over an hour when showing me their product.

  12. #2062
    I used to be funny.
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    Well, that grievance nonsense vanished quickly. Back to normal until he decides to lose his shit again.

  13. #2063
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I get Wednesday off because the Secret Service have basically asked us to close Portsmouth and nobody can be arsed to battle the traffic. #MAGA #TrumpTrain

  14. #2064
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Are you going to the RALLY then?

  15. #2065
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Had a job interview this evening. Bit weird but I'd had a skype interview with them on Friday and was meant to go to their office this afternoon but couldn't get off for it. So they asked if I could meet them for coffee this evening.

    Anyway, pretty sure the CEO (it's a start up, I met with the CEO and the CTO) was on coke. He kept sniffing and touching/rubbing his nose loads. He was very animated - lots of gesticulation - and he did nearly all the talking for just over an hour when showing me their product.
    Hay fever? My nose is really itchy and runny of late. He might just be really enthusiastic?

  16. #2066
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The woman who steals my work has handed her notice in.
    I'm a twit

  17. #2067
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Time to shine.

  18. #2068
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Probably off to a lovely promotion off the back of a CV filled with your achievements.

  19. #2069
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Are you going to the RALLY then?
    Took me twice as long to get into work today. Fuck him. #GreenNewDeal

  20. #2070
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mo View Post
    Hay fever? My nose is really itchy and runny of late. He might just be really enthusiastic?
    I considered this but surely if you had bad hayfever you'd have a tissue with you to blow your nose at some point? Or you'd sneeze at some point if your nose was that irritated. Or you'd rub your eyes because they'd be itchy.

  21. #2071
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    I considered this but surely if you had bad hayfever you'd have a tissue with you to blow your nose at some point? Or you'd sneeze at some point if your nose was that irritated. Or you'd rub your eyes because they'd be itchy.
    More than likely a coke fiend. Be very careful about working for them - I've done so in the past and it was a fucking nightmare.

    "I've been awake for four days"

  22. #2072
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    More than likely a coke fiend. Be very careful about working for them - I've done so in the past and it was a fucking nightmare.

    "I've been awake for four days"
    Yeah. They told me last night they'd be making me an offer and spoke to the recruiter today. He's obviously pressuring me towards them and then the coke fiend himself texted me today saying to come see their office today after work.

    I had another final stage interview with another start-up today though and if they offer me the job (which I'm hoping they will, they were very enthusiastic after the first interview and today was just a chance to meet their CEO who was over from the states), I'll be taking it. The two guys who interviewed me there seemed far more wholesome, what they do is more interesting and I was even impressed by the CEO today (I thought he might be a bit of a gimp because he was American but he seemed really sound).

    Also, the guy who I thought was on coke used to live in Sydney and lived and worked in Silicon Valley for a while too. So definitely the right background for it.

  23. #2073
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Bouldy turning in to the wolf of Ballymoney Street is an interesting and unexpected development.

    Even him mentioning a 'CEO' without him wanting to turn in to the burning monk is quite something.

  24. #2074
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Taking about 'wholesomeness' too. Dem conservative values.

  25. #2075
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Bouldy turning in to the wolf of Ballymoney Street is an interesting and unexpected development.

    Even him mentioning a 'CEO' without him wanting to turn in to the burning monk is quite something.


    Did you look that street name up?

  26. #2076
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Taking about 'wholesomeness' too. Dem conservative values.
    One of them was an older guy in his fifties probably and he just seemed like he'd be a nice fatherly figure type.

    Whereas the other place, well, y'know, the cokehead.

  27. #2077
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Had the first of two difficult meetings today. Had to tell a long serving employee that they had to start bucking their ideas up. He was fairly agreeable and admitted he'd made some serious errors lately, which almost had me backracking and defending him. He seemed devestated by the fact that he'd cost the business more than he'd earned in revenue last year. I hope he starts improving, because he's a really good guy, and a talented developer. He's just had a bad year for some reason - perhaps it's my shit management.

    Tomorrow I'm speaking to a member of staff that I think is completely useless. I'm handing them a bunch of new responsibilities - they don't know it, but it's their chance to save their job. They've been so poor at their actual job that other people have ended up taking on a lot of their responsibilies over the last few years, leaving them with very little to actually do. The problem is, she's the one member of staff that's been here longer than me. I have backing from the co-owner to get rid of her if needed, but I'd rather she just stop being so fucking lazy.

  28. #2078
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post


    Did you look that street name up?
    I did.

  29. #2079
    I used to be funny.
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    Couple of opportunities have come up. Not good opportunities, just those inter-departmental ones that means the same money but a chance to add to your skills. Problem being that one of them means talking to the DWP regularly to sort shit out. Might be a nice way to see how the other half live but I've overheard too many conversations where the DWP staff simply hasn't got a clue how their job works. Still, there's very little left in this job for me to learn.

  30. #2080
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Does moving sideways, even as a means of improving your knowledge, skills, etc., hamper your chances of moving up? Or is there not much chance of that in the immediate future anyway?

  31. #2081
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Time to shine.
    At the very least, I hope to move to her desk. It’s by the window and nobody can see your screen.
    I'm a twit

  32. #2082
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    Does moving sideways, even as a means of improving your knowledge, skills, etc., hamper your chances of moving up? Or is there not much chance of that in the immediate future anyway?
    I've never really fancied progressing upwards there. We're a sister site and progression usually means working out of Teesside. We've not taken any new staff on for about four years and our contract has two years left. We've got plenty of work to do but head office really like to push for automation, even if it means claimants are inconvenienced. I might put in for this for the sake of doing something new-ish. I troubleshoot on most of the calls that come my way and this just focuses more on that.

    In other news, the alcoholic came back to the office today. There was definitely a point where she smelt of hot sick.

  33. #2083
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I actually enjoy enterprise level stuff. There's much more opportunity to build trust and value. Fuck SMEs.

  34. #2084
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I find SMEs all to be quite desperate people living stressful lives. Sod that for a game of soldiers. I'll take the corporate dollar any day.

  35. #2085
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Bar the Civil Service there can't be much worse that working for a 'start up'.

    "Wage: £50k*

    *if we can afford it. Lol"

  36. #2086
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    https://www.caterer.com/job/bar-mana...medium=organic

    Just one snippet from this mesmerising train-wreck of a job ad:
    "Present; in the soul of house, in the action, happy moving from the RED Sky Bar alive with music, to the events areas and a book reading, over to the lobby where a group are looking for a restaurant recommendation. The phone rings reservation, you’ve got it and now you are flipping an omelette, catch it! This place is alive and you love it. Smile. Photo."
    Fuck off.

  37. #2087
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    It's sad that the term curator has been lost to the abyss of modern bullshit.

  38. #2088
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Reads a bit like Allen Ginsberg, which is never a good thing.

  39. #2089
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    Had a 2nd interview yesterday for a job much closer to home, on better pay. I'm feeling fairly positive about it, and it seems like a good opportunity.

    Cuts a 100 mile round commute down to about 4 miles if all goes well.

  40. #2090
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    https://www.caterer.com/job/bar-mana...medium=organic

    Just one snippet from this mesmerising train-wreck of a job ad:


    Fuck off.
    That might be the worst thing I have ever read.

  41. #2091
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    -'We don't have cooks or busboys, we have CREATIVES!'

    -'Our SOPs must be followed to the letter, no deviating from them EVER.'

    Alright lads.

  42. #2092
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Every time I click on that it says it's no longer available so I can't see the actual ad.

  43. #2093
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Every time I click on that it says it's no longer available so I can't see the actual ad.
    It was Smiffy recruiting for his B&B.
    I'm a twit

  44. #2094
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Every time I click on that it says it's no longer available so I can't see the actual ad.
    Keep scrolling.

  45. #2095
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    It was Smiffy recruiting for his B&B.
    Imagine having Smiffy as a boss. You'd really be hit with motivation to turn your life around.

  46. #2096
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Webly seething because he knows he isn't cool enough for that bar.

  47. #2097
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    He can't handle the mischief.

  48. #2098
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I don't need to take this sort of cheek from the mere 3rd best poster on the board.

  49. #2099
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Imagine having Smiffy as a boss. You'd really be hit with motivation to turn your life around.
    I'm an awesome boss. I decided against taking the Blackpool offer anyway and gave myself a month off instead.

  50. #2100
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Got the job at the 'wholesome' place. Had to ring the recruiter there and tell him I wasn't taking the other one. He was actually really sound about it.

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