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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #251
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Lol so everything has taken a tragic turn for the worse. On friday, we got an email from the HR director saying she was about to tell our boss about the upcoming restructuring and us leaving the team having applied for sales jobs (< NOT what happened).

    We were together and both just looked in disbelief. Technically we haven't signed or agreed to anything, and we most certainly didn't apply for any positions.

    So that's it. It seems to be set in stone. But if I can't agree personal terms (of which I have no idea what they will be, I've seen no commission plan, wages, anything), then I'm fucked. The board will dislike me for having stopped their recruitment and thinking they'd sorted the new roles, my boss will hate me because he thinks I'm a sneaky weasel that went behind his back, and the team will hate me for abandoning ship.

    I'll be ostracised and become a pariah, and my position will no longer be tenable. I'll have destroyed my career at this company at least, 4 years of hard work down the drain.

    I can't believe the wheels have been put in motion by the executives without us having agreed anything. Fuck sake.
    If only there was some way to talk things through and clarify misunderstandings. Bear in mind until your contract is changed then you're doing the job you were hired to do...

    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Amazing start to the week.

    Had to push a website update live for an important client. I told the devs well in advance and they made a total pigs ear of it for some reason. It was meant to go live at 9am and the client had social media posts all automatically firing out promoting the update. It's now 9:29 and it's JUST gone live.

    Now I await the excuse, because I can't think of any that would be reasonable.
    Why don't you have some alpha/beta deployment pipeline sorted to ensure that the change is tested in dev beforehand?

  2. #252
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    That's terrific.

  3. #253
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Agreed, but lose the goatee Smiff.
    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Buy an iron.
    ;-)
    Toggle Spoiler


    I've had a good week this week. I've managed to try my hand at a few new things and the current acting head chef is pretty decent in putting up with my mistakes which has stopped me flapping from time to time.

    I really wish I continued writing about it all to be honest. It's fascinating at times watching how others work. I find the 'calmer' chefs more to my liking. 9-12 will always be the most important time of the day. No more will I think I can make something to order without seeking confirmation either.

  4. #254
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post

    Why don't you have some alpha/beta deployment pipeline sorted to ensure that the change is tested in dev beforehand?
    We do, and it was meant to be. But when it came to pushing the change live, it was delegated to someone who has never done it before for some reason, and he had no idea what he was doing.

  5. #255
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    Have that tooth crushing phone call about my PERSONAL TERMS later today. Tears.

  6. #256
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I hope you didn't spend your 100% raise already.

  7. #257
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    LOL this is ridiculous. Keeping a good basic was a no goer which is disappointing, but I'll be keeping my basic and commission until there's a big overlap then it;ll begin to reduce. I however will be in a good bargaining position because I can argue I do what I do and also do what they wanted me to do, therefore proving I'm more valuable.

    There's no limit on commission either.

    There's a target of X amount of new customers, and this is a multiplier to see if you get 100% (or less/more) of the kickers if you come under or go over that.

  8. #258
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I'm unclear from reading that, but does that mean your take-home will at least stay the same?

  9. #259
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    I'm unclear from reading that, but does that mean your take-home will at least stay the same?
    Yes, until there's a crossover where my commission is consistently greater than the reduction in wage.

    Unfortunately my time, definitely for the next 6 months, won't be 100% spent on selling, which is frustrating because the entire sales team does fuck all else.

  10. #260
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    So not a total disaster then, but not the massive payrise you were expecting. Could be worse. If I were you, I'd seriously start looking at other jobs.

  11. #261
    Senior Member wullie's Avatar
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    I was rooting for you Magic.

  12. #262
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    So when your commission is consistently greater than the potential reduction in your wage, they'll reduce your wage? That sounds like a bad deal.

  13. #263
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    "Oh you're performing well? Congratulations, have a pay cut as a reward."

  14. #264
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yeah, absolutely fuck that.

  15. #265
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    "Oh you're performing well? Congratulations, have a pay cut as a reward."
    This is it, and I think it's open for discussion at that point when I can prove I can do both the technical piece and the sales piece. Hard to justify at the moment because I haven't sold anything and it could be a disaster.

    I'd even take a commission reduction to keep my basic.

  16. #266
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Are there many other opportunities in your field in your area? Because I would be seriously looking elsewhere. Sounds like an absolute shitshow.

    @SvN, you have PM.

  17. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Are there many other opportunities in your field in your area? Because I would be seriously looking elsewhere. Sounds like an absolute shitshow.

    @SvN, you have PM.
    No. It was strange to hear 'you have the full backing of the board and me and the old man (owner and MD) think it's the best idea we've never had'...but lol 25k.

    As I said, I think once I can prove I can do it I'll be in a better position. That also said, if I'm bringing in 70k will I care?

    That said, I did say I will double my wage in a year, if it drops then it's easier.

  18. #268
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Not sure I like the idea of losing an engineer to a salesperson. Sort it out.

    At least you're not going into accounting.

  19. #269
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Leave it to a Scotsman to sell a pay cut as a reward. Outstanding.

  20. #270
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I got a promotion yesterday which means a pay rise of about 10%. I mean I'm still not exactly raking it in but a lot of the stuff I'll be doing is stuff I've been doing anyway so it's nice to get some more for it

  21. #271
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    I got a promotion yesterday which means a pay rise of about 10%. I mean I'm still not exactly raking it in but a lot of the stuff I'll be doing is stuff I've been doing anyway so it's nice to get some more for it
    Pay cuts are where it's at mate.

  22. #272
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    They clearly don't value me highly enough for that.

  23. #273
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Had my interview today (fucked off the one on Wednesday) and it went well. The interviewer wanted me to meet someone today but he was in a meeting so chances are I will have to go back for another one. Annoying to say the least, with their current gaff an hour and a half drive away.

  24. #274
    I used to be funny.
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    GPDR is doing my nut.

  25. #275
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I love sending off things to our copy editor and getting back design ideas. Stay in your lane fuck boy. Correct the typos and get back in your box.

  26. #276
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    We did some logo concepts for a client we have on retainer a few weeks ago. We sent them over as a PDF presentation and he said he liked the one on the cover. There wasn't one on the cover, so I was a bit confused, and asked if he meant the first one.

    No, he literally meant the company named spelled out in a font on the title page.

  27. #277
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    how much is that costing them?

  28. #278
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    They pay us £3k per month so it just comes out of that.

  29. #279
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    ‘Kin ‘ell

  30. #280
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    I hope it was Comic Sans.

  31. #281
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    2nd interview tomorrow at 2pm. Another 4 hour round trip. /o\

  32. #282
    I used to be funny.
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    Sweet. You can get two practice runs in.

  33. #283
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Are you going to do a 4 hour round trip every day if you get it?

  34. #284
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Are you going to do a 4 hour round trip every day if you get it?
    They’re moving 45 minutes from me next month, but they’re conducting the interviews from their current office.

  35. #285
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    That's better than the interviews I had with Tesco Bank that were conducted in a hotel because their office wasn't finished.

  36. #286
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    We did some logo concepts for a client we have on retainer a few weeks ago. We sent them over as a PDF presentation and he said he liked the one on the cover. There wasn't one on the cover, so I was a bit confused, and asked if he meant the first one.

    No, he literally meant the company named spelled out in a font on the title page.
    One of our marketing team told me the other day that rounded corners were "better".

    They same guy also asked me to get our devs to make a fresh deployment because we had hyperlinked too much of a sentence. I literally just sent this back as my reply.

  37. #287
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    Marketing people are cunts but if done well it's invaluable.

  38. #288
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    You should write a book with pearls like that, m8.

    #thoughtleader

  39. #289
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    #bluesky

  40. #290
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Rounded corners are better tbf.

  41. #291
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Rounded corners are better tbf.
    Settle down pal NQ Higher and you're suddenly the next Tim Berners Lee.

  42. #292
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Rounded corners are better tbf.
    Not when you need a full bleed image on a coloured background.

  43. #293
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Not when you need a full bleed image on a coloured background.


    Cunt. He'll be using that in Thursday's lecture to don his teacher.

  44. #294
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Not when you need a full bleed image on a coloured background.
    https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-conf...-oQorEbDgYhSI8

  45. #295
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Called in sick and I've spent the last half an hour watching clips of Pete Burns on celebrity big brother. What a fucking guy.

  46. #296
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Is there anything better than when you're worried about hitting a deadline and the boss walks in and goes 'I've got an off-site meeting, can we move that to tomorrow?'

  47. #297
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Is there anything better than when you're worried about hitting a deadline and the boss walks in and goes 'I've got an off-site meeting, can we move that to tomorrow?'
    Anal.

  48. #298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Anal.
    That's such an unexpected answer from you especially. Like it.

  49. #299
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Got the job and pretty sure I’m going to have to turn it down. It was advertised as shifts between 8-8 but they told me today it’s actually 9-5, which leaves me hitting rush hour in both directions every day, so I’d have to leave before she got up and get home after she went to bed.

    I’m not being a weekend dad, so unless they can be flexible they can stick it and my feedback will be pretty shitty. If you don’t advertise your correct working hours, how can you expect people to make an informed decision when applying.

  50. #300
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My car is being rebranded tomorrow and was asked what time I’d like to go in so only getting there for 9, and then the [pregnant] person I’m working with has an appointment at 9:45 so not really gonna start Work will about 10:30 tomorrow. And we always call it a day at 4:30, so tomorrow’s a proper skive.

    And then working on my own on Wednesday so can get home nice and early and start to get excited about the game.
    I'm a twit

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