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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #12551
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I had my promotion announced yesterday and some of the reactions were pretty funny. The Aussie (our perennial number one salesman) messaged from Brisbane or wherever he is with the words: 'Some title you've got there, but I always had you down as a silent achiever'. Erm, thanks? The boss (he of the former bungs and Spanish residency) sent me a one word message 'Congrats' and then phoned me and didn't mention it at all, which to be fair was funny as fuck, so fair play. Meanwhile the Arab, currently holed up in Riyadh, was slightly more effusive, texting me with the promise of 'a gift of your choice up to the value of £150' as congratulations. I told him that this would not be necessary and so avoided cringeing myself to death, but it was nice nonetheless to be subject to a LIV Golf style buyout attempt.

  2. #12552
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    The Arab

  3. #12553
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    What type of role?
    Ops.

  4. #12554
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just had an office debate about whether the moon landings were real. The 'yes they were real' side, led by me, lost the final vote 5-2.

    The human race is finished.

  5. #12555
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Which way did the Arab vote?

  6. #12556
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab is in Saudi but he probably thinks Mossad faked it.

  7. #12557
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Did you factor in the contrary troll vote?

  8. #12558
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Tell you what, my first two weeks of managing a team has opened my eyes a bit. All these people ever want to do is work from home or go off sick, fucking constantly. Managing is basically trying to make sure that they do those things one at a time where possible.

    'Oh, the radiator's broken in my house, someone's coming to fix it, I need to work from home'. How about no?

    I must be an absolute dream to manage.

  9. #12559
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    When you get the right people management is really rewarding and I get a genuine kick out of it. When you don't (or more likely you inherit those that aren't), well, it's as you say.

  10. #12560
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Nobody wants to work any more.

  11. #12561
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Did they ever?

  12. #12562
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Wouldn't be me.

  13. #12563
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    The owner of my new company said that today (if we didn't have to work we wouldn't) and it was quite refreshing to hear. Which is sad.

  14. #12564
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We wouldn't necessarily choose to work in a 'contractually obliged to do x' fashion, but once one is indeed contractually obliged to do x, one should do x rather than trying to get away with it constantly.

  15. #12565
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I mean, we all only work because we need money, right? Why here has a job that they would do for free? Of course nobody WANTS to work.

  16. #12566
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    We wouldn't necessarily choose to work in a 'contractually obliged to do x' fashion, but once one is indeed contractually obliged to do x, one should do x rather than trying to get away with it constantly.
    Agreed. Some people want to get paid but not hold their end of the bargain.

  17. #12567
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I mean, we all only work because we need money, right? Why here has a job that they would do for free? Of course nobody WANTS to work.
    "But you'd be bored in the house!"

    That's literally what these people think we'd do. Just sit around doing absolutely nothing like mindless idiots.

    Oh wait...

  18. #12568
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    I mean, we all only work because we need money, right? Why here has a job that they would do for free? Of course nobody WANTS to work.
    Yeah but once you're there then you need to be a professional and put the effort in.

  19. #12569
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I wouldn't work in the job I do now, but I would do something. Be it voluntary or just stocking shelves. My wifes grandad once said he didn't get old until he retired and I think he's probably right. Use it or lose it, as the saying goes.

  20. #12570
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    "But you'd be bored in the house!"

    That's literally what these people think we'd do. Just sit around doing absolutely nothing like mindless idiots.

    Oh wait...
    Many would, but they would probably choose a different job to do, if money was not a constraint. Maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Yeah but once you're there then you need to be a professional and put the effort in.
    Agreed.

  21. #12571
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I wouldn't work in the job I do now, but I would do something. Be it voluntary or just stocking shelves. My wifes grandad once said he didn't get old until he retired and I think he's probably right. Use it or lose it, as the saying goes.
    I had a few months off last year in between jobs and for a period of that I wasn't doing anything. It got boring very quickly, my sleep patterns were shot to shit, I could feel my brain bleeding out of my ears and I realised that work gives me both a purpose and a routine.

    It made me realise that if I'm lucky enough to retire reasonably early (or win a lottery I don't really play) I am going to need to do something of a working nature in order to keep me functioning. Not sure what yet, but I know it's needed.

  22. #12572
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I wouldn't work in the job I do now, but I would do something. Be it voluntary or just stocking shelves. My wifes grandad once said he didn't get old until he retired and I think he's probably right. Use it or lose it, as the saying goes.
    My dream is to have (win) enough money that I could work in a hardware shop behind the counter. Or drive the Tesco delivery van.

  23. #12573
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    People having no idea how to cultivate the time they spend not working is a huge societal failure. There are a million different things you can do that are enriching to your life and/or others, but obviously it's going to be hard to suddenly get into tapdancing when you've been down the mine for fifty years.

  24. #12574
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    Quote Originally Posted by -james- View Post
    People having no idea how to cultivate the time they spend not working is a huge societal failure. There are a million different things you can do that are enriching to your life and/or others, but obviously it's going to be hard to suddenly get into tapdancing when you've been down the mine for fifty years.
    I agree with the sentiment, but I think it's perhaps a different problem for me personally in that if I don't have a period of my day, week or month where I'm doing something that isn't just wholeheartedly enjoying myself I find the times where I am doing the latter less enjoyable. Weird, I know.

    As it stands, I'm never bored in the free time I have and I enjoy almost every second of it and really want to keep that going. As Spikey suggested, volunteering may be the answer.

  25. #12575
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    When I had a few months off between jobs it was excellent. Rode my bike a ton, played football, read a bunch, played videogames, studied some French, improved my CFD skills. I would be very happy not working, but then I've been barely working for a while now (until recently) and have two kids, which can easily suck any free second.

  26. #12576
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    I had a few months off last year in between jobs and for a period of that I wasn't doing anything. It got boring very quickly, my sleep patterns were shot to shit, I could feel my brain bleeding out of my ears and I realised that work gives me both a purpose and a routine.

    It made me realise that if I'm lucky enough to retire reasonably early (or win a lottery I don't really play) I am going to need to do something of a working nature in order to keep me functioning. Not sure what yet, but I know it's needed.
    I lost purpose after I was made redundant (in fact it had been lost for a while) and I totally get this.

    It's not work I'm looking for but something to give me purpose. If I could get that without WORKING then I would.

    But I need money to live.

  27. #12577
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    If I didn't have to work I'd not miss it in the slightest and can't understand the notion "I'd do something" when meaning "going to work"

    We once had a training thing at work where the chair of governors announced that we're all at school because we love it and nobody is there for the money, my "I'm here for the money and the 6 weeks off" didn't go down well.

  28. #12578
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    In the same way as I hate it when corporate leaders describe the company you work for as “family”.

    Pay me my salary. If I didn’t need that salary, I wouldn’t be here.

  29. #12579

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    My retirement will hopefully allow me to get a workshop away from the house where I can build and fix shit.

  30. #12580
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Don't forget to record yourself while fixing shit and to send the videos to Giggles.

  31. #12581
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Yes I think if you have enough hobbies you don't need work for a purpose. It annoys me at work when you get some fannies bleating about needing more thanks for doing their job. My salary going into my bank every 4 weeks is all the thanks I need.

  32. #12582
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If I retired with shit tons of money, then obviously the world's your oyster. I'm not so sure about if I retired with just enough money. I think I'd end up going out picking up litter or something.

  33. #12583
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    If money was no object I'd be doing similar to Ben's idea. Big workshop with a little brewery in the corner.

  34. #12584
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If I retired with shit tons of money, then obviously the world's your oyster. I'm not so sure about if I retired with just enough money. I think I'd end up going out picking up litter or something.
    Writing prose and refining THE COMPUTER, between cricket engagements, obviously.

    The other thing to bear in mind is there is loads of cheap shit aimed at pensioners. My mum retired she's busier than when she was at work, always out doing some coffee club or exercise class, crown green bowls or some gym program that costs a quid.

    The main worry with retirement is affordability, but you just cut your cloth. My in laws are dithering about retiring despite nearly being 70 and fairly well off because my mother in law spends money like Brewster, always blowing a few grand on some shit she doesnt need and complaining about money afterwards. They were saying the other day their monthly household income would 'only' be £2600 when they retired, not bad for mortgage free and no real pension beyond standard to speak of.

  35. #12585
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    My mum has been retired for about 10 years now and she spends more than when she was working - and that includes the fact that the mortgage is now paid off. She doesn't really have any hobbies other than mooching at shops and buying tat.

  36. #12586
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    Yeah, to equate that to Lofty's example, you could blow through £2,600 between two of you, even with no mortgage, pretty damn easily.

  37. #12587
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    My wife's parents are spending their retirement trying to complete every country walk in Essex. It's both free and probably more interesting than spaffing your life's work on Mark's and Spencers coffee and cardigans. Although they do a fair bit of that too.

  38. #12588
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yevrah View Post
    Yeah, to equate that to Lofty's example, you could blow through £2,600 between two of you, even with no mortgage, pretty damn easily.
    Of course, things still need replacing, transport etc

  39. #12589
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Not only have the Japs rejected to interview me, but when I've pressed for further feedback, they've refused to elaborate. "Not quite the right fit." Does this mean I'm not yellow enough?

  40. #12590
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Yes, I can see how it might not be the right fit.

  41. #12591
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    They mean it literally, they haven't got a headband in your size.

  42. #12592
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    If I won the euromillions I'd still do my current job but go part time (60%).

    I'd also buy a shop in Cambridge and make chocolates or bake stuff to sell, but only when I could arsed and not care if it lost loads of money.

  43. #12593
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Look at him, leeching off the taxpayer even if he doesn't need the money.

    I'll take some chocolates.

  44. #12594
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    The tax payer more than gets their value out of me.

  45. #12595
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Doubt it, children don't pay tax. Leeching little fucks.

  46. #12596
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I'd imagine the parents would assign some value to them not being dead though.

  47. #12597
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd travel more with the free time and the money. Life is for seeing things.

  48. #12598
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Worst nightmare.

  49. #12599
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Gen Z guy at work (only 10 minutes late today, fair play) has just been explaining that he's subject to a life ban by Sony from Playstation and all its games/products, for 'trolling'. What? He was happy to tell us about this, but won't reveal any details. I had no idea this could happen.

  50. #12600
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I've only heard of that happening where people have hacked systems and leaked games that are in testing / development.

    Potentially he made some kind of mod that was damaging for other players or something, too.

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