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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1751
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    i feel like i've watched that show at least 4 times completely and have no fucking idea what "cheese burger" is in reference to
    Pass. To add further context, he was saying something along the lines of "'You've selected Cheeeese Buuuuurgeeeer' hahaha it's so vewy funny. I love that humour"

  2. #1752
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Pass. To add further context, he was saying something along the lines of "'You've selected Cheeeese Buuuuurgeeeer' hahaha it's so vewy funny. I love that humour"
    There was an episode where they installed a vending machine but nothings coming to me.

  3. #1753
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I must have seen every episode, but I don't have any recollection of it.

  4. #1754
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I'm part Polish so you might have to have a rethink, lads.

  5. #1755
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Nah, it's the British side that fucks you over.

  6. #1756
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    'So I'm Pole-ish!'
    *gets ignored by everyone*
    'Pole-ISH. Ish. Like a...'
    *leans in and spills his pint on the pool table*

  7. #1757
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's a fold down train table.

    Get it right.

  8. #1758
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    The most wacky play on words re: my polishness was "Irritating Pole Syndrome" to honour my excessive shitting and annoying personality, but it was one of my well random mates rather than me.

    And actually me and my colleague played some pool tonight at Riley's and challenged two lads to a game of doubles, and rather than spilling my pint I made a cracking double. They said "shot, mate" and everything.

  9. #1759
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    Well, I'd like to be returning to the thread triumphant, having exceeded expectations, but it is not so. And I'm actually a little relieved.

    Firstly, they stuck an extra interview in (a 'Teaching and Learning' one, to get a handle on your classroom experience). This wasn't on the itinerary for the day so I was pretty unprepared for this. They also cocked up the timing so everything ran late, lots of waiting around in the hot, sopporific staffroom.

    They then revealed there would be a cut before the final interview, which I didn't make it to. I was up against one internal candidate (1.5 years experience) and another external who'd been doing the Head of History role at another school for 3 years already, so this was a sideways move. Both had gone to the school and the sideways move still lived there, so really he only wanted it for the commute. I get the impression he was picking up on the things that I wasn't so keen on as well, such as their draconian performance management practices.

    They also sprung a data task on us, again not in the itinerary, if kind of expected for this sort of post.

    (Oh and it fucking pissed down all day, so got soaked during the school tour. Brilliant.)

    And now, finally, I'm having to contact them for my feedback. I can't ring as the reception is closed so hoping my email gets picked up. They really should be ringing me, as a courtesy.

    So, a little bit miffed, but ultimately I think for the best. Would've been nice to experience the final interview for future, but a waste of time on their part. My main takeaway is that 1) I still am awful at interviews. To be fair, I prepared myself for the leadership aspects which would've been in the final interview, but anyone half decent should be able to get through what was a pretty tame Teaching and Learning interview, even unprepared and 2) expect the unexpected!

    Got to find the energy now for 45 Y9 assessments, planning a Y11 pre-exam lesson and afterschool revision session.

  10. #1760
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I am bored out of my tree so far in this job. I feel like I don't know much and thus don't have much to do yet.

    However my probation review was overflowing with praise and talking all about how I was ahead of where they thought I'd be for workload, etc. So the only conclusion I can draw is that either their standards for new starts are very, very low or I'm some sort of engineering prodigy.

  11. #1761
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    Hey that's ok @mo, I know you're going to get an even better opportunity soon.

  12. #1762
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Shit news @mo, but chin up.

    I was going to say 'you'll always be our Head of History' but Lewis has beaten you to that too. Sorry .

  13. #1763
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    Cheers gents. Have actually just got off the phone with one of the interviewers for my feedback, which was actually really positive. They asked me about a time I taught a successful lesson, and didn't like that I picked a Geography lesson (tbh it was the last lesson I taught on Monday so freshest in memory) which I thought was a tad harsh. They said a few more examples would have been good, but that generally I answered the questions well and my interview didn't let me down, which was pleasing to know. They just felt the other two drew on a greater range of examples.

    They still haven't decided though, which strikes me as a bit tinpot. The expectation in teaching is they let you know on the day.

  14. #1764
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    You're only going to be more prepared the next time, both in teaching experience and in interview experience. In a year and a half's time, you'll be competing against someone who's in your shoes now.

  15. #1765
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The coffee machine is broken. There's going to be killings today.

  16. #1766
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Is there no kettle?

  17. #1767
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Is there no kettle?
    There is, but there's no coffee that you can make by boiling the kettle.

  18. #1768
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    For the last half hour, one of my colleagues has been repeatedly dialling I guess west Africa and saying 'Can I speak to Adama Traoré?' with apparently no success. Must have been a good 15 calls now. It's slightly surreal.

  19. #1769
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Should try calling West Midlands instead.
    I'm a twit

  20. #1770
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I need a new fucking job.

  21. #1771
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Me too. Empire Magazine and the Premier League are looking for designers so I think I'll apply for both and see what happens. Gamespots also looking for a video editor.

  22. #1772
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Gamespot is still a thing???

  23. #1773
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Yeah, they're way less relevant now but could be a useful way to get into working in the US.

  24. #1774
    I used to be funny.
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    If you can deal with San Francisco's cost of living. I suspect you can. I'm finished for a fortnight and another lad left today. He's going to Japan for six months which means he's not coming back.

  25. #1775
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    Got a job alert this morning. They’ve re-advertised the job I went for. No idea what happened there, but given they couldn’t make a decision on the day I guess it’s not that surprising.

    I always wonder when schools re-advertise jobs, who they think will apply this time around if they didn’t before?

  26. #1776
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Worth chancing your arm with a quick phone call?
    Last edited by Spikey M; 16-03-2019 at 08:42 AM.

  27. #1777
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Couldn't hurt.

  28. #1778
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    It has crossed my mind. They don’t normally take applications from previous candidates, and I think I mentioned before that there were a few red flags. This would be another to be honest.

  29. #1779
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I've been on holiday today, get several frantic texts from my boss that I have 'NOT COMPLETED TASKS BEFORE SIGNING OUT' only to find out that the task I have 'FAILED TO COMPLETE MY EXPECTED DUTIES' on is that there's a label on the contents page that says HIV Vaccine instead of HIV Vaccines (which is what was in the text provided to me), something that would take literally anyone about 5 seconds to fix in inDesign, but because everyone is terrified of non-Microsoft Office products means I'm in the shitter for.

    I'm quitting. Back to the UK for me. Can't be bothered with the drama that happens every time I leave the office for 12 hours. Yet whenever I need anything, I'm supposed to wait for up to a week for a response because 'there's a lot going on'. Sick of it.

  30. #1780
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Welcome home, please do try the tinned tuna.

  31. #1781
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Welcome home, please do try the tinned tuna.
    At least it won't cost 6 quid.

  32. #1782
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    And the hot cross buns.

  33. #1783
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I got five-hundred quid out of the 'In Year Reward Scheme' for all of my hard work and other fictions.

  34. #1784
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    Profit share bonus came in today, 8% which is the highest it has been in the past decade according to some of the old hats. Nice little surprise for a Friday.

  35. #1785
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    The main forum index page has been blocked in work

    It’s been nice knowing you.
    I'm a twit

  36. #1786
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    You got the tournament finished before it happened, that's the important thing.

  37. #1787
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    The main forum index page has been blocked in work

    It’s been nice knowing you.
    Here's an alternate URL - does this work?

    http://dev.thethirdhalf.co.uk/forumd...The-Third-Half

  38. #1788
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Im done.

    Just got an e-mail from someone requesting a web-banner to advertise on a partners website. So I reply back asking for the resolution at which point my boss who was cc'd in replies just to me and says 'They probably don't know, just make several and they can choose which one they like best'.

    What a fucking idiot. I have no idea why content creation is under communications because she doesn't have a fucking clue when it comes to any of it.

  39. #1789
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Do them at ridiculous sizes like 120 x 5000

  40. #1790
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.

  41. #1791
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.
    Winner.

  42. #1792
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Just do all of the sizes, how hard can it be.
    I just did variations of 420*69 and 69*420

  43. #1793
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    My shite company car adds 12k on to my wage, so I paid £1,250 tax this month. Bastard. 8k at 40%.

  44. #1794
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Is there literally anything about this promotion/raise that you 'd at us with that is actually good?

  45. #1795
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    Bonus pay day today.

    Great for the number received. Depressing for the number lost to tax.

    /

  46. #1796
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Unlucky, in Geneva all the trading companies pay the juniors nearly half the yearly salary (on top of their normal salary so effectively 1.5x per annum) in as a bonus as it counts as an un-taxed donation. Friend of mine paid off his entire student loan in one go.

    The bastard.

  47. #1797
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    Guess the jokes on me for my taxable 17.5% bonus.

    Celebrated with weetabix for tea.

  48. #1798
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Guess the jokes on me for my taxable 17.5% bonus.

    Celebrated with weetabix for tea.
    You should list the oilrig as your home address and claim you're offshore. HMRC'll never see it coming.

  49. #1799
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Claim Foe is just a character you're playing.

  50. #1800
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I just had a job advert appear in one of my 7 daily emails from Indeed. I still look at them, because whilst my job ain't bad, I wouldn't mind fucking off asap.

    Anyway, the advert states:

    "An exciting opportunity as Lead Compliance Officer, has arisen within the Gypsy and Traveller Service (GTS).


    Our (KCC owned) sites are home to over 550 members of the Gypsy and Traveller community, and GTS is responsible for providing them with a safe environment in which to live, whilst promoting the integration and diversity of these communities in Kent.


    The role of the Lead Compliance Officer is: To develop, implement and review standards and policies for the Gypsy and Traveller Service leading enforcement and compliance activity work."

    So, telling travellers how to live and enforcing fines issued against them? Cracking stuff. Sounds suicidal, but I bet the wage is good.

    "Starting salary £28,413 per annum | Fixed Term for 18 months, Full Time 37 hours per week"


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