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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1851
    I used to be funny.
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    Ah, Episode 23 of Imaginary Igor.

  2. #1852
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Ah, Episode 23 of Imaginary Igor.
    Do you genuinely think I make up these weird stories? If I was gonna go through all the effort of constructing anecdotes they wouldn't be so boring.

    Besides, I'm not even creative enough to use artistic license and slightly adjust them to be more interesting. Reading back through that post I think the only thing I possibly exaggerated is how late I stayed up watching cricket. Maybe it was more like 1.30ish.

  3. #1853
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Maybe the problem is that rather than properly opening up and sharing the mundane day to day shit that happens to me, I just cherry pick the weird stuff, so it comes across as a false attempt to create some kinda wacky persona. Basically it's up to you Shinners, either I keep popping in every three weeks or so with an instalment of Igor says the damndest things or I spam the forum with updates on what asda salad I bought. x

  4. #1854
    I used to be funny.
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    Did you eat the salad out of some bird's arse?

  5. #1855
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    no

  6. #1856
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Would you though?

  7. #1857
    Senior Member Waffdon's Avatar
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    Shindig is a nonce pass it on

  8. #1858
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    What's the market like? I'd be inclined to skip the last day, get the flight home, and see how long they take to realise you're gone.
    We're down to just three men now (from an original 13) so I figure they'd notice. Will be 2 men by the bitter end.

    If you like building machinery it is pretty amazing. Caterpillar's hangar has a dump truck the size of China.
    Last edited by Jimmy Floyd; 13-04-2019 at 05:59 AM.

  9. #1859
    I used to be funny.
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    If you're the only one that speaks any German, they'll definitely notice.

  10. #1860
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We had four Germans until yesterday, but they hopped back in their Panzer so now we have me, a fatter, older Brit, and a cut-out-and-keep Italian. For 2 days.

  11. #1861
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Jimmy. Stop being a pussy. Call your boss, tell him you're knackered and you want a couple of days off when you get back in lieu of your missed weekend.

  12. #1862
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    That igor/shinners interaction made my skin crawl.

  13. #1863
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's like a League 2 version of Giggles vs Kiko.

  14. #1864
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Jimmy. Stop being a pussy. Call your boss, tell him you're knackered and you want a couple of days off when you get back in lieu of your missed weekend.
    Oh I'll tell him that when I'm back, not sure I'll get them though.

  15. #1865
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's like a League 2 version of Giggles vs Kiko.
    Me and the self anointed man of the people are the Isthmian Premier

  16. #1866
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Job passed through my inbox advertising 'Content Creator for Branded Content at Golfing World' and I'm not sure I could think of a worse social media job than having to make viral banter videos with Sergio Garcia showing off his nike clubs.

  17. #1867
    I used to be funny.
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    There might actually be an end in sight if the upcoming automation trial works out. Can't see it, though. Not when the majority of our errors come from the professionals assessing claimants. No doubt I'll be quoting this post in six months time and taking VR.

  18. #1868
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    FY1 friend did a 12 hour on-call yesterday and then the night FY1 called in sick. The night reg told them if they didn't stay and cover (and in doing so work 24 hours straight, 60 hours across 4 days) he'd report them to the GMC.

    Thankfully she told him politely where he could shove that suggestion. This hospital wants burning down and starting again.

  19. #1869
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Goddamn Lee.
    I'm a twit

  20. #1870
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Hi,

    The speaker line-up is now live for the The National Construction Expo which is a conference and expo being held on May 1st 2019 in the Marshall Arena, Milton Keynes.
    As part of keeping you up to date with a variety of events across various sectors, I would like to offer you a free ticket to attend. Simply register on the site and a badge will be waiting for you.

    The event is also collocated with these other events. Delegates are free to move between events

    The National Construction Expo
    The Smart & Green Building Expo
    The National Engineering Expo
    Health & Safety Live Expo
    Facility Management & Maintenance Show
    Can't wait...

  21. #1871
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    2019's TTH meet will be held in the third one.

  22. #1872
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Have any of you got any tips in regards to having an appraisal at work? I’ve been working for nearly 13 years but only ever really worked for franchises run by cowboys who run the show however they can get away with, and I honestly can’t remember ever having a proper appraisal. I’ve been at this job since September and most of my colleagues (with a different line manager) have been having their appraisals lately. I presume mine is coming soon, and want to be prepared.

    My jobs great, mostly. I've mentioned her before but there's one colleague who constantly takes credit for my work but as she’s best mates with our line manager, I feel it’s best not to even mention it in my appraisal. Right? She’s somehow made a career out of digging out previous colleagues old work, briefly updating it and taking credit for it by presenting it as a brand new creation she’s been working on for ages. Then because it quickly goes out of date (and it’s mostly really bad) my line manager’s manager (big boss) asked me to update it, so I took nearly all day yesterday making it actually functional (one of the cells in the spreadsheet literally said =SUM(C53) ffs) and painstakingly updating the annual budgets. Then about 20 minutes after she realised I’d finished, emailed it to our line manager as if to say she’d done it. It’s not been mentioned yet but if she gets credited with this one in a big team meeting, like previously, I’m gonna struggle not to speak up.

    Anyway, appraisals! Yeah I’ll be positive about everything, I reckon. I generally just sit quietly and get on with my job while the other 8 people in the office chat rubbish about Game of Thrones, Marvel movies, old Friends episodes, that sort of stuff. I mean I’m not some loser who sits silent all day and doesn’t join in with any conversation, but I’m sure everyone knows I’m there to do my job well, and not much else. Ironically I somehow got put in charge of sorting out “workplace health and wellbeing” so there’s staff from all over the company coming to meetings to discuss how we can support the workforce and what changes need to be made to deal with pressure and stress and worry and whatever else people get caught up about at work. As someone who has never felt stressed in his life, and whose approach to everything is “just get on with it” I’m definitely not the best person to come up with “workplace initiatives” and create a “mental health pledge.” But here I am, nine months later, pretending I think that workplace wellbeing is an issue I’m passionate about, and so far haven’t told anyone to pipe down and just do what they’re paid to do. Phew! I mean I understand people have problems at work, but I don’t, and never have, because I just get on with it. Why can’t everyone have this outlook? It would make work a lot easier to deal with, for those people.

    Anyway, appraisals! I’ve created a list of my “responsibilities” and it is surprisingly long, actually, and have listed the various training/development I’ve had in my nine months of working here. I honestly couldn’t tell you what my job is though. Like I do so many bits in lots of areas that I can’t really pinpoint my actual job. My Facebook profile lists my job title as “Best At Spreadsheets,” and thankfully I can back that up, because everyone else is very bad at them, but I don’t just do them. I mean, I could happily sit and just process invoices all day everyday but that’s not really an option because of all the other stuff.

    It seems like nobody ever really recognises that someone might be happy just doing what they’re doing. Appraisals seem to be about short term and long term goals; what you hope to achieve and where you wish to be in twelve months’ time. I wanna be sat in a nice big house in a nice area with nice possessions and a happy family and good friends and lots of hair and a tan, but realistically only two of those will come true. Obviously I want to be making more money (who doesn’t?) but as for work stuff, I dunno? Potter on, continue as is, something about status quo. Sure if you offer me the job of big boss I’ll take it, or even a slight promotion to whatever’s next, but I don’t strive for success and aspire to be the top gun.

    I hated my previous job with a passion. I was there for over four years and the last two where like torture (but I didn’t get stressed over it, I must, er, stress). I’ve finally got a job I not only don’t hate, but actually enjoy. I can roll in at practically whenever I want and go home at four o’clock everyday if I want; it’s about five minutes’ drive from my house; the office is really nice and everyone who works here, within my team and across the whole office, is really friendly. It’s great. I even organised the Grand National Sweepstake, which felt like a bit of a risk considering I work in Public Health, but everyone lapped it up – brill. So in twelve months’ time I hope everything’s the same.

    You’ve probably not read it but there are some kids books about a cat called Mog. Out of all the kids books I’ve read with my daughter, they’re some of the few I’ll happily go back to and read over and over. But this cat, Mog, notoriously doesn’t like things to be exciting. She likes things to be the same. Me too, Mog; me too.

    So what should I do to prepare for my appraisal? And what should I do during it? Pretend I want to be the top gun, right? Lie about made up aspirations of progressing to the top and taking ownership of my own projects and portfolios? Eurgh, I just wanna dick about with spreadsheets, pay doctors for doing chlamydia tests. encourage people to gamble once a year, then go home and enjoy my actual life.
    I'm a twit

  23. #1873
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Depends how formal it is, in my experience.

    But make sure they actually know everything you're doing, if you can dig up emails and shit that prove it all the better. I don't think there's any point pretending to have aspirations you don't have because if they're not a cunt then they may put stuff in place to help you achieve them. If they push you for what you're thinking regarding next steps or whatever just be vague. Obviously it varies depending on the organisation you're working for but I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you're happy where you are just now if you have solid reasons (the hours, the team, etc.) to back it up rather than it just sounding like you're aimless and want to progress but don't know what to.

  24. #1874
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    "This woman keeps taking credit for the work I do but she's actually useless."

    "I've never had any problems at work."

    Hmm.

  25. #1875
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    Someone get me a job in Europe I'm bored.

  26. #1876
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    My boss has been telling my he's going to give me a raise every week for the last month. Still no raise and it's been two pay-cycles. I'm not sure what I do at this stage...

  27. #1877
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quit.

  28. #1878
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    Be assertive you fuckin pansy.

  29. #1879
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Open a kebab shop in Leeds.

  30. #1880
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    Quote Originally Posted by bruhnaldo View Post
    Be assertive you fuckin pansy.
    What do I even say? I went to him yesterday, and I was like "hey can I have some clarification on my new salary and when I'll start receiving it" and he said "I have to confirm the exact figure with the other partners, it's on my list of things to do"....which is pretty much what he said two weeks ago. If I'm honest it feels like he's delaying which worries me...this is America after all and I'm gone after two weeks notice in theory...

  31. #1881
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Open a kebab shop in Leeds.


    The dream.

    I was going to get the one from Teh 'Fuge but the bastards Taptalk have removed all our fucking smileys.

  32. #1882
    Pretty Much Amazing Mike's Avatar
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    We have that stupid ‘what do you want to do in the next year’ thing in ours, and after 10 years of making up rubbish I answered exactly like Baz wants to in my last one, then sat there until after a while they moved on. Was asked to go away and really think about it and if I come up with something go back. I didn’t.

    We also have to think up a way to improve the school.

  33. #1883
    I used to be funny.
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    Sweet ramps and an airport.

  34. #1884
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The senior guy on my team (second to the manager on a team of 7), who I've always thought was a bit consdescending and kinda unapproachable for help said something which I think stepped way over the fucking line to me on Slack today when I was asking for help with a problem. I'm still pissed off about it tonight and it happened this morning. Was considering raising a complaint with someone above him throughout the day. But then the only people above him really are the manager of the team who's really sound but they've been there together for about three years and are good friends or the project manager who doesn't seem to like me much.

    Not really sure what to do. Probably just ignore it and try to interact with him as little as possible. That project's ended now anyway so our team's breaking up as well move onto other things anyway so avoiding hm shouldn't be too hard. Also planning to leave in the summer anyway.

  35. #1885
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    *doesn't even include the quote*

  36. #1886
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    I couldn't be arsed typing out all the context around it.

  37. #1887
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.

  38. #1888
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My appraisal involved me going into a room, being told by El Presidente how long the company has been running for, and then walking out again with a decent pay hike. Was a bit tougher in the Korean days where you had to fill in endless online forms full of their gibberish.

  39. #1889
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    The senior guy on my team (second to the manager on a team of 7), who I've always thought was a bit consdescending and kinda unapproachable for help said something which I think stepped way over the fucking line to me on Slack today when I was asking for help with a problem. I'm still pissed off about it tonight and it happened this morning. Was considering raising a complaint with someone above him throughout the day. But then the only people above him really are the manager of the team who's really sound but they've been there together for about three years and are good friends or the project manager who doesn't seem to like me much.

    Not really sure what to do. Probably just ignore it and try to interact with him as little as possible. That project's ended now anyway so our team's breaking up as well move onto other things anyway so avoiding hm shouldn't be too hard. Also planning to leave in the summer anyway.
    When I have problems/need help I ask down in the hierarchy not up for exactly this reason and the juniors are happy to google along with you.

  40. #1890
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.
    Your apathy towards the real world is on the same level as my anger at Boyd prior to him going full Code monkey in 'things that don't affect me but I think about'. So much unfulfilled potential due to not giving a shit.

  41. #1891
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    When I have problems/need help I ask down in the hierarchy not up for exactly this reason and the juniors are happy to google along with you.
    It wasn't really a googleable problem though. I was trying to connect to something that he'd built but it wasn't working. Turned out I was using the wrong URL. I'd taken one from the database which all the other services connecting to it were using. But they worked because they were connecting from a specific server that worked via that URL. I was connecting from elsewhere and needed a URL that was meant for external connections. I eventually figured it out myself but he could have saved me half an hour by just telling me.

    When I told him I'd worked it out he said 'correct'. Then I replied with 'you could have just told me' and an exasperated emoji. He then said 'no', 'you need to learn to think critically' (fine so far, bit annoying but fair enough) then said 'that part of your degree is going to be lacking'. I've been finishing off the conversion course in software development I was doing part time alongside this job because they wanted me to start before it was over and I've been talking about it recently because I'm finishing off my dissertation at the minute. I was fucking fuming.

  42. #1892
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    My job is mega. It's laughably under-paid (for now at least), but it will serve its purpose.

  43. #1893
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    My job is mega. It's laughably under-paid (for now at least), but it will serve its purpose.
    I'm sure, but look at the state of the gaffe. You could be running things if you had half the drive of your Gavin Williamsons.

  44. #1894
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I put 'I like my job and I'm good at it' for my appraisal and my line manager asked me to do it again.

  45. #1895
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Boyd got donned senseless. I'd be fuming too.

  46. #1896
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    It wasn't really a googleable problem though. I was trying to connect to something that he'd built but it wasn't working. Turned out I was using the wrong URL. I'd taken one from the database which all the other services connecting to it were using. But they worked because they were connecting from a specific server that worked via that URL. I was connecting from elsewhere and needed a URL that was meant for external connections. I eventually figured it out myself but he could have saved me half an hour by just telling me.

    When I told him I'd worked it out he said 'correct'. Then I replied with 'you could have just told me' and an exasperated emoji. He then said 'no', 'you need to learn to think critically' (fine so far, bit annoying but fair enough) then said 'that part of your degree is going to be lacking'. I've been finishing off the conversion course in software development I was doing part time alongside this job because they wanted me to start before it was over and I've been talking about it recently because I'm finishing off my dissertation at the minute. I was fucking fuming.
    Tbf that's just bizarrely rude (although your initial message was also pretty off-the-charts unprofessional as well). I've never encountered anything like that in my life, either you're extremely consistently incompetent or you guys have unresolved personal conflicts going back that you might not even be aware of...

    For the record, I don't think it was unreasonable for him not to have told you in the first place. As a rule you need to learn to resolve things without asking your superior and wasting his time.
    Last edited by Bartholomert; 02-05-2019 at 12:55 AM.

  47. #1897
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I'm sure, but look at the state of the gaffe. You could be running things if you had half the drive of your Gavin Williamsons.
    Sounds to me like he has the right attitude. Apathy is where all civil servants wind up.

  48. #1898
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is the return of unnecessarily long posts directly linked to Mer...Barts return?

  49. #1899
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Sounds to me like he has the right attitude. Apathy is where all civil servants wind up.
    At best. I was at the 'thinly-veiled hatred' stage before I left.

  50. #1900
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bartholomert View Post
    although your initial message was also pretty off-the-charts unprofessional as well
    We're not a law office. We use slack to send memes and gifs to each other half the time.

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