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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #5201
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    It's just the type of shit that organisations with far too many middle managers come up with.

  2. #5202
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Baz, is there some kind of open secret going round the office about someone getting battered at home? That's the only way I could see management signing off on this.
    There is no office.
    I'm a twit

  3. #5203
    I used to be funny.
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    Black eyes all day and all night, then.

  4. #5204
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    It's just the type of shit that organisations with far too many middle managers come up with.
    Bored HR gimps who want to look busy

  5. #5205
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    It's more likely someone someone knows running the training consultancy firm.

  6. #5206
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Lewis would have loved firm our HR brought in. They're supposed to be the anonymous go-between us plebs and managment.

    So I go to their seminar and its a 45 minute presentation on, 'Unless your boss says something racist or sexist. Or several people in the company are beating you up in the hallways (they called it mobbing). The problem is you.'

  7. #5207
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    Phonics is right, the process with all of these things is:

    An issue gets media coverage - Some ambulance chasing chancers think they can monetise it - issue gets more coverage - chancers 'reach out' to company HR departments - HR love it - I end up in a course being told that having a conversation with a 'colleague' (no one is an employee these days) who suffers from a genuine mental illness (to the point of suicidal thoughts) needn't be difficult.

    It's symptomatic of the woeful approach we have to all issues as a society at the moment, in that people seem to think that if you shout about a problem loudly enough and do something, that's job done.

  8. #5208
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Spot on. Style over substance in all things.

  9. #5209
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Am I contractually obliged to converse with my manager when on sick? I've informed her when I'll be back and that I'm happy to receive any "important" updates via message. Take the hint, love.

  10. #5210
    I used to be funny.
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    I think our lot only does that on long-term sick.

  11. #5211
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    Your manager can't crawl too far up your arse if you have kept them in the loop. Union would be barbequing their kidneys by the end of the day for that at our spot.

  12. #5212
    I used to be funny.
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    A job's on the horizon I may actually consider. They're proposing every team leader has a deputy to share the workload. As long as that means no meetings, I'd probably go for it. One step up on the pay grade, too.

  13. #5213
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    First thing I'd be delegating is the meetings.

  14. #5214
    I used to be funny.
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    I know.

  15. #5215
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    I've been feeling somewhat underpaid lately (particularly given billable hours and firm performance over last 9 months) so I've actually engaged with some recruiters on LinkedIn for once.

    Potential salaries elsewhere certainly better than what I'm on atm (potentially about 60% better) but it's a mix of law firms and in-house positions (1 in London, other 2 same location).

    I was initially using this as a way to negotiate a stronger salary but the discrepancy is large enough to consider moving, albeit moving in-house at 1 year Post-Qualification is arguably not the most sensible decision.

    Decision, decisions.

  16. #5216
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Is there any harm in asking your current place first anyway? Best scenario that's one more option for you, worst case you're still looking at moving elsewhere.

    Depends on your relationship with your boss, I guess.

  17. #5217
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Personally, I'd wait until I have an offer before mentioning it. Then weigh up what it would take to stay where you are.

  18. #5218
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    How does this disgraceful ruling relate to us hard-working civil servants? I ask because the people doing my exact job at the Foreign Office earn almost twice what I do, so is the 'single source' our specific departments or the civil service generally? The different pay bands would suggest the former, but the common pension scheme the latter.

  19. #5219
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Had to go into the office yesterday for the controversial and terrifying FACE TO FACE meeting. Or it would have been, but our resident Team Panic member booked a days leave for it.

    Not a mask in sight for the rest of us. Even though we were indoors and standing up. Fuck the police. (Is that even the rules anymore? I have no idea)

  20. #5220
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Yes it’s the rules
    I'm a twit

  21. #5221
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    People (and I know loads of them) being tentative/scared about returning to the office really makes me laugh as I sit here on day 449 or whatever since the pandemic started parked at the same desk as always.

    NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

  22. #5222
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    People (and I know loads of them) being tentative/scared about returning to the office really makes me laugh as I sit here on day 449 or whatever since the pandemic started parked at the same desk as always.

    NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
    She's honestly ridiculous. Everytime we have a (Skype) meeting she sits there shaking her head whilst people talk about what they've been up to. It's a shame because she was a social butterfly before all this. She's beyond repair now.

  23. #5223
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
    Odd take.

  24. #5224
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Trust me, it hasn't. A virus has gone round. Otherwise it's all exactly as before. My workplace is exactly as per 2019 except there are a few little-used bottles of sanitiser lying around. If you're choosing to shit your pants and think that video calls are the new norm in place of human interaction, that's up to you.

  25. #5225
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    I'll look forward to shitting my pants 2/3 times a week for the foreseeable.

  26. #5226
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We live in very different worlds Jim. Nothing has changed at your place maybe, but at my place only 1 team are going into work and the 8 of them are in 4 different rooms with 3 out of every 4 desks taped off.

    The staff themselves largely don't give a shit and only follow the rules if someone is looking, but from a business perspective a fuck tonne has changed.

    We were all discussing how this shit has completely jumped the shark yesterday. The disruption : risk ratio is pathetic. We now live in a world where Covid literally is "just like the flu", so why aren't we getting on with it like we do every winter.

  27. #5227
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Perhaps what I mean is nothing needs to have changed. Either you shit the bed or you don't. We are having a very very good year, that's all I can say. A couple of our main UK based competitors have gone full work from home / shut off premises and are drowning as a result.

  28. #5228
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Spoken like a true company man.

  29. #5229
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    We live in very different worlds Jim. Nothing has changed at your place maybe, but at my place only 1 team are going into work and the 8 of them are in 4 different rooms with 3 out of every 4 desks taped off.

    The staff themselves largely don't give a shit and only follow the rules if someone is looking, but from a business perspective a fuck tonne has changed.

    We were all discussing how this shit has completely jumped the shark yesterday. The disruption : risk ratio is pathetic. We now live in a world where Covid literally is "just like the flu", so why aren't we getting on with it like we do every winter.
    Well it isn't quite yet because there's still a portion who are vulnerable and unvaccinated. It's not a forever thing mind and I do agree we need to return to some sort of normality (where I can order a beer without an app).

    Our work is moving to hybrid after this 40-60% in the office working week. I'm happy enough with that. Most of us won't return until September either.

  30. #5230
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Is it not the same portion that also aren't allowed the Flu Jab though? (Aside from the allergy mob).

  31. #5231
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I have a customer who needs a head gasket for a boat. I asked her for the 8-digit engine number so I could look up the right one. She sent me first E11*97/68GA*2002/88*0235*02 , then 7CEXL0275AAF, and then, as a final salvo, when pointed out that neither of these were 8 digits and that it is 8 numbers with no letters, she offered 47202-3005.

    Upon being asked for the 4th time for an 8-digit engine number, she sent back simply: "Please! I need this head gasket today!"

    Honestly hope her boat fucking sinks.

  32. #5232
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    If I ask someone for something simple twice without receiving it, their request gets left for the full 10 working days I'm allowed to take to reply.

  33. #5233
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Sassy.

  34. #5234
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Damn straight.

  35. #5235
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    Interview at my current school yesterday for Assistant Head of Year. Found out today I got it. Definitely my best interview to date and given one of the smarmy cunts I was up against I think I would have walked if he got it and I didn't.

    Also a relief given how many interviews I've bombed to date.

  36. #5236
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    Congrats.

    Clearly something you’ve been working towards and wanting for some time.

  37. #5237
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Congrats mo.

  38. #5238
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    Cheers both. Been trying to get into Middle Leadership for a couple of years, either 2nd in subject/department or pastoral with little success. This is only 1 year fixed term so depending on how things go this role might not exist by this time next year - but a Head of Year role might come up instead and having this would put me in a good position.

  39. #5239
    I used to be funny.
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    All the best with it.

    My day almost shat the bed when windows decided it couldn't load on the thin client. It's been threatening to kill itself for weeks now but today I had to boot it back to life from a USB stick.

  40. #5240
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Well in Mo.

  41. #5241
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    Congrats Mo.

    And I sympathise Shinners, our servers keeled over at 10am and reappeared at 1pm 'fixed', by which the IT boffins meant they rolled them back to before the weekend because it's not like anyone had done any work since then...

  42. #5242
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Mo money mo problem.

  43. #5243
    Senior Member Spammer's Avatar
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    Employer have basically told me to apply for a promotion, looks certain I'll get it tbh as there's nobody else with the same skill-set.

    I am currently at the top of my wage band for my current job, as I've been there a few years. This new job is on the wage band above. Is it standard practice for me to start at the bottom of this wage band? The reason I ask is because there's not much difference in money between the top of my current band and the bottom of the next one.

    On a related note then: Is it likely to be alright for me to ask to start higher up on the wage band? I don't want to sound arrogant but I don't really need the change and they honestly probably do need me more than I need them. It can't hurt to ask, right? I've not negotaited my wages before so I don't know these things.
    THE MIGHTY BLADES

  44. #5244
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    Sounds like you hold the cards. Make the request in writing so you can't be fobbed off. Absolutely should not be a problem trying for more money.

  45. #5245
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    It's fine to negotiate (at worst they can just say no) and then you just need to be clear on your position: would you take the move for roughly the same money? If you move up, how long can you expect to stay on that salary? What are the requirements for progression etc.

  46. #5246
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    If you don't bring it up they will absolutely start you at the bottom of the next band. Negotiate now because if you are anything like what my place is unless you are delivering heaven and earth on the daily you will never get bumped up the band significantly.

  47. #5247
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I was mentioned in a linkedin post by work yesterday after an internal presentation but instead of the word lead, they've typo'd and put lad. So I'm now an AUTOMATION LAD. With all the banter and mates included.

  48. #5248
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Automation Lad and the Spreadsheet Badboy will return...

  49. #5249
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Peter Crouch's sidekicks need some work.

  50. #5250
    I used to be funny.
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    Automation Lad is my workplace nemesis.

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