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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #5801
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    There have always been kids who 'couldn't handle it' (they grew into the adults we lambast on here for being fucking melts/morons/heads have gone etc), I have no idea if indulging some of them is a good thing or not but it can't be much worse than fucking them off into the bin and hoping they work it out for themselves.

  2. #5802
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    My line manager has left and gone doing the same job at a different place. Now she's mithering me to apply for my job at her new place.

    No. I'm comfortable. Leave me be. I know you'll miss me cos I'm amazing but you're the one who left so deal with it.

    I'll have a look at the job spec.

    I'm a twit

  3. #5803
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Why though?

  4. #5804
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    My line manager has left and gone doing the same job at a different place. Now she's mithering me to apply for my job at her new place.

    No. I'm comfortable. Leave me be. I know you'll miss me cos I'm amazing but you're the one who left so deal with it.

    I'll have a look at the job spec.

    I mean, sure, look at the job spec if you want to get a raise and have more opportunities for promotion.

  5. #5805
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    I mean, sure, look at the job spec if you want to get a raise and have more opportunities for promotion.
    It’s for less starting salary and I’d have to pay transport, whereas I currently work from home full time.
    I'm a twit

  6. #5806
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Lolwut

  7. #5807
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Laugh in her face then.

  8. #5808
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    Was supposed to finish at 10ish today and have a nice relaxing weekend.

    7am that plan was screwed to due to a rogue plant issue and I’m going to be working all afternoon and periodically over the weekend.

    Fuck. Off.

  9. #5809
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I've had my work trip unilaterally moved a week sooner to save money on air fares, love it.

    Itinerary is Barcelona, Zaragoza, Valencia, Madrid, Almeria, Seville or something like that, in five days. Sounds glamorous but the reality is going to haggle over prices in various dive industrial estates on the outskirts of each city, and living out of a suitcase in five different budget hotels. Loving life.

  10. #5810
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Does that turnaround give you basically bugger all time to actually do or see anything if you also plan to sleep?

  11. #5811
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Wouldn't have thought I would have much downtime, no. Maybe the odd bit of tapas in the evenings.

  12. #5812
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Had to go into the office this morning and ended up talking to one of the heads of department. She was lamenting how there had been a "restructuring" that saw alot of the top brass reduce their workload and increase their pay packet, whilst leaving everyone else with more work and the same pay.

    I replied with "Well, shit is quick enough to roll down hill, but money trickles very slowly."

    *cough from behind me* and of course one of the board members is stood there. Awkward. But not Awkward enough.

    The head of department continued:

    "It does indeed. 2% raise again this April? Or has Covid given you an easy out on that one? Not that it matters, 2% doesn't even track inflation for goodness..."

    And with that I made my way back to my desk. The fallout from this is going to be fun. Christ I hope they sack me.

  13. #5813
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've had my work trip unilaterally moved a week sooner to save money on air fares, love it.

    Itinerary is Barcelona, Zaragoza, Valencia, Madrid, Almeria, Seville or something like that, in five days. Sounds glamorous but the reality is going to haggle over prices in various dive industrial estates on the outskirts of each city, and living out of a suitcase in five different budget hotels. Loving life.
    Got to love this shit though. Travelling when someone else is paying is excellent.

  14. #5814
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Had to go into the office this morning and ended up talking to one of the heads of department. She was lamenting how there had been a "restructuring" that saw alot of the top brass reduce their workload and increase their pay packet, whilst leaving everyone else with more work and the same pay.

    I replied with "Well, shit is quick enough to roll down hill, but money trickles very slowly."

    *cough from behind me* and of course one of the board members is stood there. Awkward. But not Awkward enough.

    The head of department continued:

    "It does indeed. 2% raise again this April? Or has Covid given you an easy out on that one? Not that it matters, 2% doesn't even track inflation for goodness..."

    And with that I made my way back to my desk. The fallout from this is going to be fun. Christ I hope they sack me.
    Amazing

    Our lot have not offered a pay rise in two years thanks to covid, if there isn't a pay rise again next year I suspect the unions will ballot for strike.

  15. #5815
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Wouldn't have thought I would have much downtime, no. Maybe the odd bit of tapas in the evenings.
    Fuck that. If you had even a couple of hours a day to properly mooch about and get some food then sure but that just sounds a slog.

  16. #5816
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Got to love this shit though. Travelling when someone else is paying is excellent.
    No, you just like the idea of it in your reality. As he described it isn’t excellent and I doubt you’ve a notion what it’s remotely like, he hasn’t a fucking minute to himself. Fuck all bollinger and cuffawing on a real work trip.

  17. #5817
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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  18. #5818
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Andy Mahowry View Post
    It reads back very angry but then again there’s not a word of it that isn’t true. He doesn’t live on any planet other than the plush one in his head.

  19. #5819
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Since I posted that, Pamplona has been added to the list. Pamplona to Almeria is 941 kilometres before you even start going to all the other places as well. Whole thing will be about 2,000km in six days I think. Me and a wheezing bloke in his mid 60s. I'll have to go and play some simulator or something to get used to driving on the right.

  20. #5820
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Since I posted that, Pamplona has been added to the list. Pamplona to Almeria is 941 kilometres before you even start going to all the other places as well. Whole thing will be about 2,000km in six days I think. Me and a wheezing bloke in his mid 60s. I'll have to go and play some simulator or something to get used to driving on the right.
    But yeah, travel, class. Maybe you’ll buy some properties.

  21. #5821
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    It reads back very angry but then again there’s not a word of it that isn’t true. He doesn’t live on any planet other than the plush one in his head.
    And when he does descend to mortal level it's to spread covid all over two families.

  22. #5822
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    And when he does descend to mortal level it's to spread covid all over two families.
    The elite don’t get covid.

  23. #5823
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    No, you just like the idea of it in your reality. As he described it isn’t excellent and I doubt you’ve a notion what it’s remotely like, he hasn’t a fucking minute to himself. Fuck all bollinger and cuffawing on a real work trip.
    Do you actually think that's what my work trips are like? I don't make money for the organisation, there's no 5* hotels or Michelin star restaurants on my trips. I just like the adventure even if what Jim's explained might be too much on the day to day because of travel.

  24. #5824
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I've missed the bizarre fantasy you have of my actual life.

  25. #5825
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Yeah can't see just one Michelin star cutting it.

  26. #5826
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Do you actually think that's what my work trips are like? I don't make money for the organisation, there's no 5* hotels or Michelin star restaurants on my trips. I just like the adventure even if what Jim's explained might be too much on the day to day because of travel.
    He’ll be shit hotel to shit hotel after working all day every day. It’ll hardly be a magical travel experience of connecting or whatever it is that happens on planet kiko.

  27. #5827
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Yeah can't see just one Michelin star cutting it.
    As if he’d lower himself.

  28. #5828
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    He’ll be shit hotel to shit hotel after working all day every day. It’ll hardly be a magical travel experience of connecting or whatever it is that happens on planet kiko.
    Ok mate chill out. It's just a message board.

  29. #5829
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Ok mate chill out. It's just a message board.
    Christ I’ve landed on 2009 Reddit.

  30. #5830
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    You have Reddit??? [/ @Boydy ]

  31. #5831
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Anyway, what's your favourite perk of work trips? Mine is the jacuzzi in the room and steak dinners in business class.

  32. #5832
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Putting hookers on the expenses tab

  33. #5833
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I like the lobster and making the locals feel inferior.

  34. #5834
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    I reckon Jimmy should take Igor along with him to help turn it into an ADVENTURE. You know the stories would be worth reading, even if it's just Jimmy lying in the bins getting churros thrown at him.

  35. #5835
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Me and Igor going round Spain would be a six-parter on Channel 4. Possible BAFTAs.

  36. #5836
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    I reckon Jimmy should take Igor along with him to help turn it into an ADVENTURE. You know the stories would be worth reading, even if it's just Jimmy lying in the bins getting churros thrown at him.
    It's a good idea, because I do of course get into all sorts of wacky and zany japes, but @Jimmy Floyd's excellent writing skills might lead to a more positive and engaged response than the usual everyone calling me a cunt.

  37. #5837
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    He’s good but he’s not that good.

  38. #5838
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It would be very, very Peep Show.

  39. #5839
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I've literally never seen Kiko post anything that even gives me a hint as to where Giggles got his view of him from.

  40. #5840
    I used to be funny.
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    I think Giggles went turbo as soon as he twigged on he worked in banking.

  41. #5841
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    He’s good but he’s not that good.

  42. #5842
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    I love me a bit of Giggles (see below) but his hatred of Kiko is odd.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    He’s good but he’s not that good.

  43. #5843
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    He’s good but he’s not that good.


    Are you doing a thread for it, Jim? Better than my ill fated solo Egypt jaunt.

  44. #5844
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    I am in Germany with work this week, via a redeye flight to the dam Monday morning. It is a trip upon which it is likely there could be schmoozing in the form of a couple of nights on the piss coming my way... but I'm off the beer unfortunately so it'll be a fairly straight affair.

    Down your way weds-fri Lewis. If I can clear the final hurdle in the pass office and get my new access pass that is.

  45. #5845
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Who's the one smashing it now?

  46. #5846
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    It's a good idea, because I do of course get into all sorts of wacky and zany japes, but @Jimmy Floyd's excellent writing skills might lead to a more positive and engaged response than the usual everyone calling me a cunt.
    FWIW I've never understood people doubting your stories; they all ring true to me.

  47. #5847
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    RL wants a starring role in the next one.

  48. #5848
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Does anybody other than Manc say they think he's full of shit?

  49. #5849
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Shindig did for a while as well, I think.

  50. #5850
    I used to be funny.
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    I hated the stories more than him, to be honest.

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