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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #2201
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    It's called a decent welfare state. We don't have that.

  2. #2202
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We fund them though. #Brexit

  3. #2203
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    I am moving to Norwich.

  4. #2204
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    They already have a random legend.

  5. #2205
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    I am moving to Norwich.
    One of the best places in England, that.
    I'm a twit

  6. #2206
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    They already have a random legend.
    Sama is pretty great, it's true.

  7. #2207
    Fuck like you cook.
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    13 hours travelling on buses isn't my idea of fun in today's heat. Jesus.

    I arrived in Dorset for my new job and wow, it's beautiful. Durdle Door just a couple of miles down the road. I definitely prefer this beach to Talacre which is nearest to mine. Hopefully I'll stay here now until November, take December off and then January 2020 I'm going it alone. Not Blackpool but I'm going to have somewhere.

    Monthly pay is gonna be a bitch though, it's been a while.

  8. #2208
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Just finished at my job there. Start the new one on the 16th. Feel quite sad.

  9. #2209
    Senior Member Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smjffy View Post
    13 hours travelling on buses isn't my idea of fun in today's heat. Jesus.

    I arrived in Dorset for my new job and wow, it's beautiful. Durdle Door just a couple of miles down the road. I definitely prefer this beach to Talacre which is nearest to mine. Hopefully I'll stay here now until November, take December off and then January 2020 I'm going it alone. Not Blackpool but I'm going to have somewhere.

    Monthly pay is gonna be a bitch though, it's been a while.
    Where are you? Weymouth?

  10. #2210
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Swanage but I'm leaving today to go back to Oxford. It's a nice cushy job, 8-2, 6-9.30 with weekends off but this entire week has been so slow that I think I'll go out my mind. I like to keep busy and you can't do that after breakfast in the place I'm currently at.

  11. #2211
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I used to go to Swanage loads as a kid. Is it still a nice seaside town, or is it a druggy toilet now?

  12. #2212
    Fuck like you cook.
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    It's very nice to be honest, nice and clean which is pleasant. Hard to gauge in a week when the weather has been spot on though.

    I had intended to message you at some point as I saw on that map you were near ish. I was going to get us both out for an evening just to break TTH if anything. Alas it's not to be!

  13. #2213
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    We could both make the end of summer kickabout.

  14. #2214
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Next meet I'll make a conscious effort to attend. It's well overdue.

  15. #2215
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    When my till was over two of my colleagues were saying I needed to withdraw to fix it, to which I was like "nah if you're over, you need to pay IN, cus, like, the till is telling me there's 500 quid more than should be there - if i pay that into an account it accounts for it", and they were not having it. Eventually it got to the point where they were doing Lineker re: Gazza "he's fucking lost it" looks at each other as I tried to insist, correctly, that if your till is over you need to pay in not withdraw. The only way I managed to convince them was to withdraw like they said, run a balance, then show I was even more over. At which point they just went like "oh yeah". FFs
    Last edited by igor_balis; 05-07-2019 at 06:12 PM.

  16. #2216
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    I'm sure you've said this before but which bank?

    The bank I use in my town only has one manned till and 3 self service and there's still way too much shit that needs to be done by an actual person so there's always a queue. They always have someone asking everyone in the queue what their business is to potentially shift them to the machines but I've never seen someone get moved over.
    Last edited by Sir Andy Mahowry; 06-07-2019 at 01:46 AM.

  17. #2217
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Just in the door after a whore of a week. Haven't seen the gaff since last Monday morning.

  18. #2218
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Haven't been in NI in ages and have two days booked in for this week, of all fucking weeks. Two of the worst places to be going too.

  19. #2219
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Why of all weeks? Is this marching season?

  20. #2220
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niko_cee View Post
    Why of all weeks? Is this marching season?
    Marching season is about 4 months up there but this Thursday to Saturday are the big ones. They're extra militant this time of year.

  21. #2221
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You might want to leave the buckle hat and shillelagh in the passenger footwell.

  22. #2222
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'll be stopping for nothing. Come across Glenanne Snake and the lads doing a fake checkpoint and you'd end up as kindling on Thursday.

    Might just pull a dose and let someone else go.

    .

  23. #2223
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Whereabouts are you meant to be going?

  24. #2224
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Whereabouts are you meant to be going?
    Portadown tomorrow and Ballymena Wednesday.

  25. #2225
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Get your checkpoint clobbber out Boydy.

  26. #2226
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I didn't get sacked today which was nice.

  27. #2227
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    I did wonder that. Was sure that's who you said you were working for.

    What's the atmosphere like? We did a raft of redundancies the last few years but they were with months of warning. This seems very abrup, or has it been rumoured?

  28. #2228
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    Glad you weren't sacked though. Obvs.

  29. #2229
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I think it's been a different story over in that part of the business where poor market conditions has been prevalent for a while. The press have been reporting these rumours for a while and I imagine if you were in those businesses, you'd probably have feared the worst.

    I wasn't really over there so can't tell you anything you haven't read in the press. I think I'm okay but this sort of transformation is painful.

  30. #2230
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    You work for DB?

  31. #2231
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Lol not so smug now are you. Looking forward to asking you to open my account in a local building society.

  32. #2232
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I think it's been a different story over in that part of the business where poor market conditions has been prevalent for a while. The press have been reporting these rumours for a while and I imagine if you were in those businesses, you'd probably have feared the worst.

    I wasn't really over there so can't tell you anything you haven't read in the press. I think I'm okay but this sort of transformation is painful.
    Yeah it's hideous when this sort of thing is going on.

  33. #2233
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Have a glass of vinho verde to relax mate.

  34. #2234
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Lol not so smug now are you. Looking forward to asking you to open my account in a local building society.

  35. #2235
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Lol not so smug now are you. Looking forward to asking you to open my account in a local building society.
    Fuck that.

  36. #2236
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Leave Igor alone.
    I'm a twit

  37. #2237
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Fuck that.
    I know. Will need an offshore account soon with my comish levels.

  38. #2238
    I used to be funny.
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    I'd imagine redundancies of that size don't feel out of the blue. My two banking ones had years of wind up.

  39. #2239
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    When you live in an independent Scotland, you can open an offshore one in the free city of Bristol.

  40. #2240
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    When you live in an independent Scotland, you can open an offshore one in the free city of Bristol.
    Quoting for prophecy.

    Enjoy Bristol.

  41. #2241
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I'd imagine redundancies of that size don't feel out of the blue. My two banking ones had years of wind up.
    Your teller job in Gateshead is not the same as a global private banking/"wealth management" business being outed as the biggest crooks in a game full of crooks. They're dismantling before the cops come through the door. They'll have completed the shredding process so now time to sack anyone that didn't know enough and pay-off anyone that did.

  42. #2242
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Your teller job in Gateshead is not the same as a global private banking/"wealth management" business being outed as the biggest crooks in a game full of crooks. They're dismantling before the cops come through the door. They'll have completed the shredding process so now time to sack anyone that didn't know enough and pay-off anyone that did.
    Lol nice assessment from the black and white reactionary tin man.

  43. #2243
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    That's not really what's happened and the description is incorrect. It's DB's equity trading desks that are being wound up which has nothing to do with private banking or wealth management (two areas which are part of the core business).

    The problem is lack of profitability and they're not the only European bank struggling e.g. Credit Suisse and a whole raft here . The trade wars between US and China have had an impact as have negative interest rates in Europe.

  44. #2244
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Lol nice assessment from the black and white reactionary tin man.
    I'm going off what happened at HSBC when my then room-mate was working there. Cops went to the wrong building (they've got two) and it was shredders a gogo.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    That's not really what's happened and the description is incorrect. It's DB's equity trading desks that are being wound up which has nothing to do with private banking or wealth management (two areas which are part of the core business).

    The problem is lack of profitability and they're not the only European bank struggling e.g. Credit Suisse and a whole raft here . The trade wars between US and China have had an impact as have negative interest rates in Europe.
    Yeah I'm sure the huge swathes of money laundering have nothing to do with it. You can only get away with doing it in the US for so long before you fall out of favour, look at UBS and our 'Americans hide your money here' scheme.

  45. #2245
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Didn't the Germans just postpone the reckoning up that London/New York had ten years ago by killing Greece?

  46. #2246
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    HSBC are the dirtiest I reckon. There's the obvious reason why, then there's also what I know from working there.

  47. #2247
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    If Tronald puts some big banks out of business I might even vote for him next time.

  48. #2248
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Having Donald as a customer probably hasn't helped.

  49. #2249
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Are you sure your room mate didn't get arrested for being a nonce.

  50. #2250
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Are you sure your room mate didn't get arrested for being a nonce.
    How was your adventure smoke?

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