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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #7701
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    The missus got mild COVID (little headache and cough for a couple days) during our holiday in Turkey and she's just gone up to HR and requested her annual leave back, the cheeky fuck. They said 'we don't do that here, love' but immediately changed their tune when she linked to GOV.UK guidance. I didn't know this was a thing.

  2. #7702
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Where are you now? I'm going to Germany in a couple of months

    You're deifntely well off out of that whole setup though. She sounds like a head case.
    If you do end up in Frankfurt, we can definitely have an informal pint.

  3. #7703
    Senior Member igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Went to talk to the MD yesterday about something else, he dropped in that we'll be moving to flexi time soon.

    This is like Mr Banks buying the kids an ounce of weed each.
    Want my cousin to knock up a couple of memes?

  4. #7704
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don View Post
    The missus got mild COVID (little headache and cough for a couple days) during our holiday in Turkey and she's just gone up to HR and requested her annual leave back, the cheeky fuck. They said 'we don't do that here, love' but immediately changed their tune when she linked to GOV.UK guidance. I didn't know this was a thing.
    It's standard at big companies but can be a bit of a grift. Same way you accrue holidays when you are on the sick.


    It's a massive bone of contention on the railway because someone will be off full pay for 6 months then come back to work and take all their owed holidays. I did it once and they basically said 'take the rest of the month off' to clear my outstanding holiday allowance
    Last edited by Lofty; 18-05-2022 at 06:44 AM.

  5. #7705
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiků View Post
    If you do end up in Frankfurt, we can definitely have an informal pint.
    Will be Munich. Was actually due to go to Frankfurt earlier this year but it was knocked on the head and covered remotely.

  6. #7706
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I really need my old manager back from beyond the grave. Her counterpart is currently juggling the whole team and she has one mode: Panic Stations. I don't really do Panic Stations, so we butt heads a bit. Not Kiko levels of butting heads, but I can tell my matter of fact ways get her back up a bit. Not enough drama when "it is what it is" is my default setting.

    Anyway, a few weeks ago we heard from a neighbour that there was a putrid smell coming from one of the properties. She said the immortal words "it smells like death". Further investigation confirmed it was indeed death, and the 8 weeks without payment suggested it had been a while.

    Well, the Council now want 12 weeks of Housing Benefit back and my manager is having kittens. "This is going to be a huge arrears case, what are we going to tell *big boss*?!"

    I don't know, we could start with "she died and nobody knew". I imagine that would probably do it tbh.

    Calm down ffs.

  7. #7707
    Senior Member CJay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    I really need my old manager back from beyond the grave. Her counterpart is currently juggling the whole team and she has one mode: Panic Stations. I don't really do Panic Stations, so we butt heads a bit. Not Kiko levels of butting heads, but I can tell my matter of fact ways get her back up a bit. Not enough drama when "it is what it is" is my default setting.

    Anyway, a few weeks ago we heard from a neighbour that there was a putrid smell coming from one of the properties. She said the immortal words "it smells like death". Further investigation confirmed it was indeed death, and the 8 weeks without payment suggested it had been a while.

    Well, the Council now want 12 weeks of Housing Benefit back and my manager is having kittens. "This is going to be a huge arrears case, what are we going to tell *big boss*?!"

    I don't know, we could start with "she died and nobody knew". I imagine that would probably do it tbh.

    Calm down ffs.
    Won't they just write it off? She's hardly sitting on much money (for an estate to pay off the debt) if no one noticed she was gone for 8 weeks. Your manager sounds like a head case.

  8. #7708
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJay View Post
    Won't they just write it off? She's hardly sitting on much money (for an estate to pay off the debt) if no one noticed she was gone for 8 weeks. Your manager sounds like a head case.
    Yeah, it'll be written off. I have never known us try to claim from an estate, largely because pretty much nobody we house is likely to have one anyway.

    At worse the boss will ask why her death went undetected for so long and why no welfare check was carried out, to which the answer is "people that stop paying also usually stop taking our phonecalls and opening the door to us. It's normal. We can't exactly get the police to force entry everytime that happens or we'd need Essex police on a permanent retainer".

  9. #7709
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    This has all gone absolutely horribly wrong. They are making me claim mileage from HQ (Glasgow) so I've lost out on £750 of expenses since I started.

    They've also told me to stay away from Glasgow. Absolute nightmare situation. Totally bombed it lads. Left a £65-75k job for a complete nightmare. Fucked it. I sent the MD who hired me an email saying it needs to be sorted otherwise my position is untenable and he's ignoring my calls and texts etc.

  10. #7710
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Has he paid his rent recently?

  11. #7711
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Nah, he's living in Magics head rent free.

  12. #7712
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    This has all gone absolutely horribly wrong. They are making me claim mileage from HQ (Glasgow) so I've lost out on £750 of expenses since I started.

    They've also told me to stay away from Glasgow. Absolute nightmare situation. Totally bombed it lads. Left a £65-75k job for a complete nightmare. Fucked it. I sent the MD who hired me an email saying it needs to be sorted otherwise my position is untenable and he's ignoring my calls and texts etc.
    Shite one, that.
    I'm a twit

  13. #7713
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    What's wrng with staying away from Glasglow? Because it means you can't claim mileage?

  14. #7714
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    What's wrng with staying away from Glasglow? Because it means you can't claim mileage?
    Yep, they are saying my 'starting point' is HQ so I can't have any meetings near there...but they have a caveat to say 'or home if it means less miles'.

    So if I go to Aberdeen I can't claim from Glasgow, has to be my house.

    The MD is ignoring me.

  15. #7715
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    At least you invested in Mellin, @Magic.

  16. #7716
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Iím broke and the local shitty pub just had a walk out and I said Iíd fill some hours, blagging that id done it before. Anything I need to learn outside of learning how to change a keg?

  17. #7717
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    The Arab turned up in Ferrari shoes today. Like, black loafers with a prancing horse stitched into the top. I'm not sure if it was his most alpha move yet or his most beta.

  18. #7718
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    Iím broke and the local shitty pub just had a walk out and I said Iíd fill some hours, blagging that id done it before. Anything I need to learn outside of learning how to change a keg?
    If you can pour a pint you'll be grand. Even if you can't, just blame it on the tap until you get the hang of it.

  19. #7719
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    The Arab turned up in Ferrari shoes today. Like, black loafers with a prancing horse stitched into the top. I'm not sure if it was his most alpha move yet or his most beta.
    You must have some Formula 1 clobber knocking about to challenge him.

  20. #7720
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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  21. #7721
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I had a (fake) Ferrari jacket when I was a young'un. Bright red with a black logo on the breast. I went between thinking it was the coolest thing ever to being embarrassed by it on an hourly basis.

  22. #7722
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I've got a video call with the new MD called 'mileage' at 1000.

    Think I might just jack it, because if there was any chance of this being resolved it would have been an apology, an adhoc credit in my bank and confirmation it's all sorted going forward.

  23. #7723
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This flexi time rollout is one of the great shambles, even by this company's standards. First of all we were told that it constituted starting an hour earlier to finish an hour later or vice versa on the same day, and had to be pre-arranged in advance for a good reason (i.e. non-flexi flexitime). Then one of the department managers started saying it was the opposite, and you could rock up 20 minutes late if you finished 20 minutes late whenever you want, and could accumulate time across multiple days etc. Others then went into uproar that their department had been told differently. Everyone is claiming they want to change their hours to 7-4 or whatever, as if any of these fucks are capable of getting up that early.

    Then this morning we were all handed forms to sign agreeing to move onto 'the new Flexible Working Hours Policy', without stating what it actually was. I said I can't sign it until I know what it is. The MD looked at me like I'd stepped on his toe. Then he went around collecting the forms and shredded them, saying 'the policy needs amending'. Not heard anything since.

  24. #7724
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    Lol. Amazing shitshow which clearly hasn't been thought through properly. It surely isn't that hard to be coherent?
    @Boydy what's your programming language and what did you use to get up to speed?

  25. #7725
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I've got a video call with the new MD called 'mileage' at 1000.

    Think I might just jack it, because if there was any chance of this being resolved it would have been an apology, an adhoc credit in my bank and confirmation it's all sorted going forward.
    Well?

  26. #7726
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    This flexi time rollout is one of the great shambles, even by this company's standards. First of all we were told that it constituted starting an hour earlier to finish an hour later or vice versa on the same day, and had to be pre-arranged in advance for a good reason (i.e. non-flexi flexitime). Then one of the department managers started saying it was the opposite, and you could rock up 20 minutes late if you finished 20 minutes late whenever you want, and could accumulate time across multiple days etc. Others then went into uproar that their department had been told differently. Everyone is claiming they want to change their hours to 7-4 or whatever, as if any of these fucks are capable of getting up that early.

    Then this morning we were all handed forms to sign agreeing to move onto 'the new Flexible Working Hours Policy', without stating what it actually was. I said I can't sign it until I know what it is. The MD looked at me like I'd stepped on his toe. Then he went around collecting the forms and shredded them, saying 'the policy needs amending'. Not heard anything since.
    Donning the MD

  27. #7727
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiků View Post
    Lol. Amazing shitshow which clearly hasn't been thought through properly. It surely isn't that hard to be coherent?
    @Boydy what's your programming language and what did you use to get up to speed?
    Learning programming from scratch or just moving from one language to another?

    Learnt from scratch on a masters conversion course where my first language was Java.

    I've picked up Javascript, Go and recently Python along the way. Udemy is normally pretty good for courses. I'll go through a course (or at least a bit of one) when picking up a new language or framework on there and then just pick up the rest from the existing codebase I'm working on. There's enough on there to learn it all on your own though.

    Anything in particular you want to learn? I can have a look at what courses are good and try to give you some advice if you like.

  28. #7728
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    SQL and probably machine learning more generally. Both will be used in my new job pretty much so trying to get up to speed.

    Appreciate it!

  29. #7729
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    You probably can't go wrong with datacamp if that's the sort of thing you're after. The data scientists at my last place were big fans of it. I assume you'll be using Python for ML?

  30. #7730
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    I'm not actually sure - will learn in the coming months when I join. I'm on freecodeCamp at the moment.

  31. #7731
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I thought about offering Flexi time, but it means I'd probably end up having to man the phones if the receptionist decided to start/finish early. And fuck that for a game.

  32. #7732
    The Artist Formerly Known as Taz
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    Was thinking about giving Python a go for bants (without any prior background in this shit), is uDemy the place?

  33. #7733
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    There's tons of stuff everywhere online and much of it free but although udemy costs (it's usually cheap/has a "sale" on or there should be voucher codes if you google - never pay more than £15 for a course), you can't go wrong with the more popular, higher-rated courses on there.

  34. #7734
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    Well?
    Ambiguous answer and I've still not got my money back...

  35. #7735
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    This flexi time rollout is one of the great shambles, even by this company's standards. First of all we were told that it constituted starting an hour earlier to finish an hour later or vice versa on the same day, and had to be pre-arranged in advance for a good reason (i.e. non-flexi flexitime). Then one of the department managers started saying it was the opposite, and you could rock up 20 minutes late if you finished 20 minutes late whenever you want, and could accumulate time across multiple days etc. Others then went into uproar that their department had been told differently. Everyone is claiming they want to change their hours to 7-4 or whatever, as if any of these fucks are capable of getting up that early.

    Then this morning we were all handed forms to sign agreeing to move onto 'the new Flexible Working Hours Policy', without stating what it actually was. I said I can't sign it until I know what it is. The MD looked at me like I'd stepped on his toe. Then he went around collecting the forms and shredded them, saying 'the policy needs amending'. Not heard anything since.
    The most predictable outcome.

  36. #7736
    Senior Member -james-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiků View Post
    SQL and probably machine learning more generally. Both will be used in my new job pretty much so trying to get up to speed.

    Appreciate it!
    There are loads of courses on udemy and the like that probably teach you similar stuff, and are generally very good. I did this one and then started building small projects of my own. For ML and data-y stuff you'll eventually want to get good with certain libraries, numpy (maths), pandas (analysis/manipulation), matplotlib (visualisation) and scikit-learn (ML).

    These might be obvious but I found the best way to get good at coding is getting stuck in and actually coding (rather than reading about coding) and knowing how to get help when stuck (google, and the reddit and discord python groups are great).

  37. #7737
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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  38. #7738
    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    Thanks both. This job will be a bit of a technical leap but agree that it's a lot easier to get hands on rather than being theoretical.

  39. #7739
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Python isnít too hard to pick up. I got an arduino kit and started with the manuals and samples there and then did some udemy stuff. Applied it a few times for work for a few things, seriously handy to know.

  40. #7740
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Python isn’t too hard to pick up. I got an arduino kit and started with the manuals and samples there and then did some udemy stuff. Applied it a few times for work for a few things, seriously handy to know.
    You realise this is going to be Boydy's new "Wait, Giggles uses Instagram!? "

  41. #7741
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I worked at a pub on trial today. I passed with flying colours. It's such a disgusting shithole I'm never drinking there again but I'll take the money.

  42. #7742
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Instagram is easily the best form of social media.

  43. #7743

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    Quote Originally Posted by phonics View Post
    I worked at a pub on trial today. I passed with flying colours. It's such a disgusting shithole I'm never drinking there again but I'll take the money.
    Shitholes are the best boozers.

  44. #7744
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Iím fine with shitholes but this is Ďreusing plastic glassesí levels of gross.

  45. #7745
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    You realise this is going to be Boydy's new "Wait, Giggles uses Instagram!? "
    Nah, I remember Giggles posting about coding before.

  46. #7746
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Nah, I remember Giggles posting about coding before.
    I have an arduino controlling my brewing system now too. Itís savage stuff.

  47. #7747
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Instagram is easily the best form of social media.
    Is Reddit social media? If so lol at suggesting instagram.

    80% of instagram is reposts from TikTok anyway.
    I'm a twit

  48. #7748
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Is Reddit social media? If so lol at suggesting instagram.

    80% of instagram is reposts from TikTok anyway.
    Reddit is turd.

  49. #7749
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    I have an arduino controlling my brewing system now too. Itís savage stuff.
    Class. I bought one of them away back at the start of the pandemic and never did anything with it. Just like the painting set and the keyboard.

  50. #7750
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Reddit is turd.
    How? Genuinely, why do you think this?

    You can opt in to follow content about literally ANYTHING you’re interested in. Home brewing? Yeah join that. Angry courier memes? Sign me up. Dragons shagging cars? You’re in.

    Need to find an answer to something but Google is coming up dry? Add Reddit to the end of your search and before you know if you’ve found a post from 2016 explaining the best way to descale your specific brand of camping kettle.

    And if you’re bored and it’s 3am and you’re doing a night feed, just scroll the Popular section and let it’s greatness wash over you.

    Reddits great. Up there with transfermarkt for best website ever.
    I'm a twit

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