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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #5701
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Who cares.

  2. #5702
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Dunno ask them.

  3. #5703
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    why didn't your company provide you a proper headshot on a white background? why did you have to edit out the background yourself?! why?!!
    If your employer is sorting out your LinkedIn profile for you then they may be trying to send a message.

  4. #5704
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panda Bear View Post
    why didn't your company provide you a proper headshot on a white background? why did you have to edit out the background yourself?! why?!!
    They did provide a proper headshot. He wore that coat on the first day and hasn't taken it off since.

  5. #5705
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Who cares.
    you'd imagine people who post on linkedin

  6. #5706
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    How many complaints have you had about your profile picture from LinkedIn users Kiko?

  7. #5707
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Atleast 1.

  8. #5708
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I don't think people who can't use capital letters count.

    Then again perhaps they're all at that on linkedin.

  9. #5709
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    can't or wOn't

  10. #5710
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Do more people have a linked in profile, than not?

    I really don't understand it. Like, I can't get my head around social media that's just about work stuff. Do people really like their jobs that much that they want to comment on conferences and lame workstuff while they're not at work? Is that what it takes to reach a certain level of paygrade? F that S.

    I genuinely cannot get my head around it. If those of you who use Linked In, or at least have a profile you've filled in, please explain why and what you do on it.
    I'm a twit

  11. #5711
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Isn't it just for recruitment? I do not know as I do not have one.

  12. #5712
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Depends what field you're in, I suppose. I have one with no photo but my work history on it. When I'm looking for a new job, I turn the little "open to new opportunities" thing on and watch the recruiters come running.

    That's all I use it for.

    Edit: that sounds like such a dickhead brag. :kiko:
    It's just what software is like though.

  13. #5713
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    When I'm looking for a new job, I turn the little "open to new opportunities" thing on and watch the recruiters come running.
    And then what happens? I presume they can DM (RIP "PM") you and send you links to job advertisements, inviting you to apply? Or is it more forward/personal than that and an actual person is like 'so I see you worked for 3 years at...' ?
    I'm a twit

  14. #5714
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    They don't send you links for jobs to apply for. They'll have roles they're recruiting for (some of which the companies don't bother to advertise themselves or if they do they'll do it somewhere stupid and obscure). They'll call you up, have a quick chat with you (basically to gauge that you're not a complete bellend) then send your CV over to whatever they have that you said you'd be interested in and get you an interview. They can be useful in pushing salary negotiations and shit too.

    They're pretty much all dickheads (they're essentially salesmen who make their money off commission from placing people in jobs) but they can be useful.

  15. #5715
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    How many complaints have you had about your profile picture from LinkedIn users Kiko?
    Until this point...

    They used to have a roaming photographer when we were in the office which could take one but I haven't worked in an office so used a picture when I was with phonics as then it reminds me of the informality of life.


    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Do more people have a linked in profile, than not?

    I really don't understand it. Like, I can't get my head around social media that's just about work stuff. Do people really like their jobs that much that they want to comment on conferences and lame workstuff while they're not at work? Is that what it takes to reach a certain level of paygrade? F that S.

    I genuinely cannot get my head around it. If those of you who use Linked In, or at least have a profile you've filled in, please explain why and what you do on it.
    As Boydy says, Linkedin can provide a use from a recruitment pov. As much as this makes me sound like a :kiko:, you can use it to brand yourself to people who might employ you or look to employ you. It's a self promotion tool (which might not be that necessary if you have real skills like First Aid Champion or Mental Aid Superdog under your belt).

  16. #5716
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Sticking up someone’s profile picture is a bit of a scum move but kiko probably doesn’t care so whatever.
    LinkedIn is grand when you’re looking for something, more and more are advertising on it rather than job sites. Good for running a company page too, nobody even knew it existed before I took it over.
    You have to ignore the news feed though as it’s gone into a complete Facebook style cesspit these days.

  17. #5717
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Sticking up someone’s profile picture is a bit of a scum move but kiko probably doesn’t care so whatever.
    I thought it was a bit off tbh.

  18. #5718
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Dont be fooled, Giggles. The posting of the picture was agreed in THE GROUP beforehand.

  19. #5719
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    It's acceptable to browse LinkedIn during work hours and it has a chat function, so you can talk shit with mates whilst pretending it's work related.

    Writing blogs is a bit much but I can see how someone might get dragged into it if they liked their job.

  20. #5720
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Dont be fooled, Giggles. The posting of the picture was agreed in THE GROUP beforehand.
    Getting Pavel in to take the picture was the real genius of the move.

  21. #5721
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    It can be a bit like this sometimes:


  22. #5722
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    Is that a good or a bad thing?

  23. #5723
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Kiko probably isn't too far from using Giggles to write a post on strength and resilience.

  24. #5724
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I just post pictures which say "double tap if you want something amazing to happen" to rack up those sweet sweet likes.

  25. #5725
    I used to be funny.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Getting Pavel in to take the picture was the real genius of the move.
    Nope. Pavel's gig photos were all in black and white. Mr. 'I can see colours better because I've got Aspergers' only does monochrome.

  26. #5726
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshore Toon View Post
    Kiko probably isn't too far from using Giggles to write a post on strength and resilience.
    "As a young farm hand in rural Ireland, I never dreamed I could be more than a minor cog in the Farming industry, never mind a major cog in the worlds financial machine. Then one day my Da took me to the abattoir; I saw the stun guns and circular saws in action. it all clicked into place. I still use these principles daily."

  27. #5727
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Not what I had in mind but I much prefer it this way. Someone Photoshop the Ireland flag in behind Kikó's mugshot so he can update his profile picture.

  28. #5728
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    Until this point...

    They used to have a roaming photographer when we were in the office which could take one but I haven't worked in an office so used a picture when I was with phonics as then it reminds me of the informality of life.




    As Boydy says, Linkedin can provide a use from a recruitment pov. As much as this makes me sound like a :kiko:, you can use it to brand yourself to people who might employ you or look to employ you. It's a self promotion tool (which might not be that necessary if you have real skills like First Aid Champion or Mental Aid Superdog under your belt).
    They have posters up at work asking people to apply to be "domestic abuse champions", which just sounds to me like the person who's best at domestic abuse.

  29. #5729
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Unfortunately Wullie beat you to it when this came up before with a better joke:

    Quote Originally Posted by wullie View Post
    Being domestic abuse champion comes with a title belt that you have to threaten to take off.

  30. #5730
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I didn't make a joke.

  31. #5731
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Alright Dr Serious.

  32. #5732
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    HERE WE GO!
    x

  33. #5733
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Dr Acula?

  34. #5734
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    My mate has gotten proper addicted to it, it seems like he spends half his time posting shit like "wow yes this is really interesting @boring cunt original poster, I can see how important this will be for optimizing data analysis", to which they only ever like or put something like "yeah cheers mate".

    He even posts his own shit like "here are 5 principles I follow on a daily basis to.." blah blah and I'm pretty sure his job is mostly fannying around on excel. Bit culty, but I can see how it would be useful if you're actively looking for work/employees.

  35. #5735
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Desperately trying to engage with LinkedIn influencers is probably even lamer and thirstier than those middle aged weirdos who use Twitter solely to post shit like "wow baby you are really gorgeous today" to random pornstars and bots.

  36. #5736
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    My old gaff asked us to post stuff and also comment with that nicey nice bollocks as well. It was usually only the psychopaths and autists that actually did it.

  37. #5737
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kikó View Post
    I thought it was a bit off tbh.
    shit. sorry dude.

  38. #5738
    Senior Member Offshore Toon's Avatar
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    Here's a pic of the new and improved Kikó anyway:

    Toggle Spoiler

  39. #5739
    Fuck like you cook.
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    Concentration face.

    Toggle Spoiler


    Today I had a spiced Tomato soup, Salmon with garlic/herb mash, courgettes, kale and a creamy white wine sauce, Lemon Sole with sauted potato, green beans and lemon butter, Sirloin with tomato, mushroom, peas and potato wedges and finally, my curry of the day which was meant to be a Madras but I fucked it, played with it, came up with something pretty nice tbh.





    I'll take it to the food thread if need be but do throw out some ideas and I'll do my take on it for next week.
    Last edited by Smjffy; 25-09-2021 at 09:20 PM.

  40. #5740
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Just had a cracking call from one of our semi-regulars, a guy who repairs boat engines and often orders parts from us. I've always thought he sounded a bit unhinged, but then a lot of these guys are, working stupid hours to put engines right. He wanted a cylinder head worth two grand, but he has five grand overdue for payment, so I said we couldn't sell him any more until he paid up.

    He said listen, I'm having a tough time at the moment. I said well, I'm sorry about that, but... He said I've had a row with the missus. I'm living out of a hotel room. I said well, that sounds a pain, but... He said you know how it is, with women. I said not really. He said well, the problem is, my credit card's in her house, and I can't get in. I said can't you get her to send it by post? He said the problem is, she won't speak to me, and the police have been involved. I said the police? He said yeah, the police.

    This went on for another five minutes before he got in a massive huff and put the phone down because I wouldn't send him a brand new cylinder head without payment.

  41. #5741
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    If you knew how it is with women you would've sent him the cylinder head for free.

  42. #5742
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Not sure if "the police have been involved" is part of his catch-all "You know how it is with women" (maybe it is always that way for him) or if he was just hoping at that stage you'd go "Ah, no further questions!" and send him the part at that stage.

  43. #5743
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I'm guessing that if he's the one claiming that the police have been involved then she might be the axe murderer of the pair, but you never quite know with these people.

  44. #5744
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    "You kick in one door brandishing a baseball bat and 'er indoors gets all mardy and phones the law."

  45. #5745
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Just had a cracking call from one of our semi-regulars, a guy who repairs boat engines and often orders parts from us. I've always thought he sounded a bit unhinged, but then a lot of these guys are, working stupid hours to put engines right. He wanted a cylinder head worth two grand, but he has five grand overdue for payment, so I said we couldn't sell him any more until he paid up.

    He said listen, I'm having a tough time at the moment. I said well, I'm sorry about that, but... He said I've had a row with the missus. I'm living out of a hotel room. I said well, that sounds a pain, but... He said you know how it is, with women. I said not really. He said well, the problem is, my credit card's in her house, and I can't get in. I said can't you get her to send it by post? He said the problem is, she won't speak to me, and the police have been involved. I said the police? He said yeah, the police.

    This went on for another five minutes before he got in a massive huff and put the phone down because I wouldn't send him a brand new cylinder head without payment.


    Heh.

  46. #5746
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    "You kick in one door brandishing a baseball bat and 'er indoors gets all mardy and phones the law."
    Typical woman.

  47. #5747
    I used to be funny.
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    I love the fact Jim gets all these. Hates the public but they pour their hearts out.

  48. #5748
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    In the office today for the first time at this job. Decided to walk in as it wasn't raining when I left the house but it started pissing down on my way and I got drenched.

    Also not being able to vape at my desk is annoying.

  49. #5749
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Think people returning to offices will definitely produce a few of these scenes.


  50. #5750
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    The music in the office is starting to drive me mad.

    I also miss the cat.

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