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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #1401
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Do you have 'benefits' such as buying shopping vouchers pre-tax etc? If so, I would be doing that to make your take home pay as low as possible.
    Nope. I'm going to pay her exactly what the CSA recommends, so you can look at it like I pay the mortgage or I pay £350 a month + £250 towards the mortgage.

  2. #1402
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I had my review today (after waiting outside for 20 minutes listening to the big boss take my line manager to pieces, which wasn't too much fun).

    Anyway, after a load of fluff about how good I am he said 'Average company raise this year is 2%, but your manager has recommended 8% for you'. Now I'm a novice at these things as the Koreans did self reviews only and you took what you were told with no discussion. So should I have negotiated?

    I didn't, because I thought the raise was fair, and the guy is 80 years old and a proper Jewish patriarch, but should I have done? I'm sure 2% raises is horseshit.
    Seems decent to me, but I am a Civil Servant. 1.5% is the best I've had (without changing role)

    Next Friday is my last day in this dump.

  3. #1403
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Obv the private sector has actual payrises rather than the government reluctantly allowing you to continue feeding your kids.

  4. #1404
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Never again Jim. Never again.

  5. #1405
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    My guess is that the standard raise is 10% and he just mind gamed the fuck out of you.

  6. #1406
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I have no idea what raise I'll be getting (if any) until the new year - around the time bonuses are discussed. I've had a good few months here so hoping to continue.

    Shame the media news is so desperate.

  7. #1407
    I used to be funny.
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    Mine's been all over the place. I missed my first rise due to my start date, got 2% the next year and then this year saw a massive £1.5k rise. Plus the working wage has stepped in with a couple of rises so I've gone up four grand since I started in 2015.

  8. #1408
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    I think I got that 1.5% or whatever payrise in my wages the other month. I told them I should be paid more when I had my three month review and they just laughed it off, so maybe I have to build a case against all the twats still getting their London weighting for doing nothing.

  9. #1409
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Last job I had you had to wait for the general wage for your role across the business to go up which basically never happened. Dunno what this new lot will be like but even a paltry payrise will be better than "Fuck all, ever" so fingers crossed.

  10. #1410
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    You got a raise. Be happy about it.
    I'm a twit

  11. #1411
    I used to be funny.
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    I think I'd hate working with Lewis.

  12. #1412
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Had a review today with the team lead and his second in command. Was told I've been doing really well so that was nice.

    One of my favourite people in the office (and the team) is leaving though which is a bit crap. He'll be gone by the end of next week when his Christmas leave is taken into consideration.

    Also heard my manager (the aforementioned team lead) bitching about our project/client this morning to someone else and saying he wants to move to something else (like a different client team within the company) once the current project is done for this client. That'll be around April, I think. It might just be him letting off steam but it'll shit if he does move to a different team as he's really sound.

  13. #1413
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    A 2% pay rise isn't actually a pay rise, once you take inflation into account. 8% is good, but implies they weren't paying you fairly to start with/you're smashing it.

    I've got a trip to NYC in the new year and then LA around my birthday

  14. #1414
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    They've replaced the sugar bowl at work with sugar packets that seem to be the weakest sugar of all time. I plopped like 4 of them in there and my tea tastes like a 1 spooner.

  15. #1415
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    #firstworldprobs
    I'm a twit

  16. #1416
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    My colleague just related to me with a face like a pig in shit how last night he saw Barry Chuckle in Woking town centre, standing outside the theatre. Doing a panto gig there all month, he says.

    I didn't have the strength to break it to him, so I just smiled and walked away.

  17. #1417
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I had a senior director beeline towards me last night and say she knows who I am. Didn't listen to a word I said after it but still, the compliment was nice.

    (night because it was christmas drinks)

  18. #1418
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Sounds like a threat tbh.

  19. #1419
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Sounds like your office has a phantom shitter.

  20. #1420
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    I bet it is her.

  21. #1421
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    You sound like a proper bell.

  22. #1422
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Guess where I'm working today, @Lewis

  23. #1423
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Rugby.

  24. #1424
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Your name is Steve, you cunt.

  25. #1425
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Somewhere with one more twat in it than usual.

  26. #1426
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I was the only person in the hospital responsible for surgical admissions last Friday and had no senior support as they were all in theatre. Good stuff.

  27. #1427
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    Somewhere with one more twat in it than usual.
    Correct.


  28. #1428
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    So I've been in this new job a week and as well as things working out such that I'm now off for a fortnight the managers have between them given me for Christmas a bottle of red wine, 3 bottles of craft beer and a box of Green and Blacks chocolate.

    Engineering.

  29. #1429
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I spent most of today delivering bottles to customers. Must have gave out at least 25 in total, though 10 were to one place.
    That said, between one thing and another I've definitely finally set myself on getting something new in the new year. It's a class job in a lot of ways but the bad parts just have my head melted.

  30. #1430
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    I'm off until the 7th.

  31. #1431
    I used to be funny.
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    Christmas Eve now has potentially more faff. Good job that's a three-day week.

  32. #1432
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian View Post
    So I've been in this new job a week and as well as things working out such that I'm now off for a fortnight the managers have between them given me for Christmas a bottle of red wine, 3 bottles of craft beer and a box of Green and Blacks chocolate.

    Engineering.
    Yeah I got presents off my boss and off her boss, on top of my secret santa present off a colleague. Not used to working with nice people after my last job of working for absolute dickheads.

    Also still feels very strange not only not hating work, but actually enjoying spending my day there.
    I'm a twit

  33. #1433
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I got a bottle of rioja from one of my Spanish customers, mailed straight from Getafe. I'd love to say we sent them a box of custard creams or something in return but sadly I don't believe we did.

  34. #1434
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    Buckfast, maybe?

  35. #1435
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Had a 3 month review for our new junior today. It was almost entirely positive, and despite coming to us with pretty much fuck all knowledge, she's already blasted past the guy she replaced (the pleb I sacked in July). It's amazing how much difference a decent work ethic can make, even to technical roles.

    The only downside is that the work for her is drying up a bit because we've been getting more technical, back-end heavy projects the last 6 months. I think she could be a real star striker in future though, so I'll keep her around even if it means keeping her busy on internal stuff. If anything, I just hope she doesn't get bored and start looking elsewhere.

  36. #1436
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Pulled in 5k this month (3 after tax).

  37. #1437
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Well done, is this typically a good time for sales, or is it fairly even throughout the year?

  38. #1438
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Last day as a Civil Servant tomorrow.

  39. #1439
    I used to be funny.
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    Our share buying site opened. Glad I avoided it last year. The value's been halved since then. Suppose it offers a decent entry price but even the previous spikes don't offer much in a return.

  40. #1440
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Well done, is this typically a good time for sales, or is it fairly even throughout the year?
    Not particularly, ups and down throughout the year. The big deals especially can take months to close.

    So that was basically £2,000 basic and £1,000 commission post-tax.

    Next month I'll be £1,500 basic so will need to get at least £500 commission to make it worthwhile, and anything over and above that is a bonus. I could have kept my wage...but I have been moved to double commission instead.

    That wasn't a particularly good month either. This month has been awful. Currently sitting on £150 pre-tax...

  41. #1441
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This is a serious question rather than lolling at you, but how does an irregular income like that alter the money you will have to stump up post-divorce? Will it flow with your wages, or could you end up short at the end of some months?

  42. #1442
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    There's no solicitors involved so it's an honest and open arrangement.

    I'll have her just as much as she will.

  43. #1443
    I used to be funny.
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    Well, that's ... brave.

  44. #1444
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    There's no solicitors involved so it's an honest and open arrangement.

    I'll have her just as much as she will.
    None of my business but keep one on retainer. Just from what you've presented to us it doesn't seem she's the most honest upfront person.

  45. #1445
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I'm sending all my extra money in ti my dad's account.

  46. #1446
    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    I'm sending all my extra money in ti my dad's account.
    Keep all transfers to 999 or under to stop them from getting flagged.

  47. #1447
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Who's back tomorrow?


  48. #1448
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yep.

  49. #1449
    I used to be funny.
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    Aye. At least it's a day shift.

  50. #1450
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm going to go in at 7 to get the heating back on and get settled in and relaxed before anyone else lands at half 8. I uninstalled Outlook from my phone so I can read through all the bullshit while nailing multiple coffees if they remembered to seal the beans up properly on the last day.

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