The All New Jobs Thread

[Spikey M]

Rearranging your flight
If your cancelled flight is covered by UK law, your airline must let you choose between two options:

1. Receive a refund
You can get your money back for all parts of the ticket you haven’t used. For instance, if you have booked a return flight and the outbound leg is cancelled, you can get the full cost of the return ticket back from your airline.
If you are a transfer passenger and you have already completed part of your journey, you are also entitled to a flight back to your original departure point when your connecting flight is cancelled and you decide not to continue your journey.

2. Choose an alternative flight
If you still want to travel, your airline must find you an alternative flight. It’s up to you whether to fly as soon as possible after the cancelled flight, or at a later date that suits you.
Although most airlines will book you onto another of their flights to the same destination, if an alternative airline is flying there significantly sooner or other suitable modes of transport are available then you may have the right to be booked onto that alternative transport instead. You can discuss this with your airline.

https://www.caa.co.uk/passengers/res...cancellations/

[Jimmy Floyd]

They offered me 5.55am via Split and 9pm+ for which I would have to stay in Amsterdam and wouldn't make my morning meeting tomorrow. So the only viable option was to go from Bristol.

And I really don't have the time or inclination to start ringing them up and entering negotiations, it's stressful enough as it is.

[Baz]

At least you’re not with that old geezer.

[Boydy]

Your train to Bristol will probably end up getting cancelled.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Yeah, it will, or the flight from Bristol will.

I'd give literally anything not to go on this trip. The French one at least there was some actual interesting work to do, this one is completely pointless. Icelandic volcano, pandemic outbreak, make it happen.

[niko_cee]

You should have just driven there through the chunnel.

Does the Eurostar not do Amsterdam any more?

[Magic]

Think that's a nightmare for business insurance.

[Jimmy Floyd]

It does, but no seats available until the one that arrrives at 11pm tonight.

Remarkably, I'm pretty sure that what I'm doing is the path of least resistance.

[Giggles]

I tried it today, hate it, not doing it again.

[Mike]

What did you do while skiving off?

[Giggles]

Listened to incompetent cunts on the phone.

[Magic]

Listened to incompetent cunts on the phone.

Conference call with the home nations teams?

[Jimmy Floyd]

I got in to Groningen via Bristol and Amsterdam at 11pm local, after getting up at 4am. All of it was a ballache but when I got hauled over by some dope-schmoking coppers, in a clear good cop/bad cop formation, in an unmarked car 15 mins out of Schiphol airport, I thought they were taking the piss. I asked them why they had pulled me over and they said they had reaschonsch. The searched the car and asked me if I had drugsch or weaponsch. I said 'Er, no' (in a total daze by this point) and bad cop said 'You had to think about it, yesch?'

Anyway, 10 mins later the one who had been searching the car told me that it was all a mischtake and that he was schorry for the inconveniensch and hoped I enjoy the Netherlandsch. Bad cop was fucking steaming. They didn't even breathalyse me or anything.

Maybe they just randomly follow cars leaving the airport for drug stops? I dunno. Either way, 24/6/2024 is down in the history books as 'not my day'.

[Spikey M]

If I was a cop trying to take down drug mules in Holland (fuck off Nether Netherland), I think I'd focus on people going TO the airport. What kind of thick cunt is smuggling drugs IN to Holland?

[Waffdon]

[randomlegend]

Saw my first dead kid at work the other day. I've been very lucky it's taken this long. It was less bad because they were brought in by ambulance already long dead; would've been much worse if we'd been trying to treat them and they'd died.

2 year old. No previous hospital attendances or significant illnesses to speak of. Parents put them to bed with a bit of a cold, went in in the morning and they were long dead. Fucking grim.

[Spikey M]

Every now and then - and I mean, this is a very rare occurrence - one of my kids will still be asleep when I wake up. It's an occasion that fills me with both joy and dread. It's mostly a positive, because it means I got a bit more sleep usually. But at the same time, the image of them laying in bed, eyes open, foaming at the mouth swims in my mind. I don't think there's any coming back from that becoming a reality.

[Magic]

Saw my first dead kid at work the other day. I've been very lucky it's taken this long. It was less bad because they were brought in by ambulance already long dead; would've been much worse if we'd been trying to treat them and they'd died.

2 year old. No previous hospital attendances or significant illnesses to speak of. Parents put them to bed with a bit of a cold, went in in the morning and they were long dead. Fucking grim.

Shut up man we're trying to hear about Jim's awful day.

[Waffdon]

You definitely don’t sleep enough Mr Spikey.

[Jimmy Floyd]

Cot death (or whatever the proper word for it is) is about the worst thing ever. One of my childhood friends was a child who came after a cot death and I remember all over his house there were little mini-shrines to the 1 year old brother who preceded him, mother still regularly in bits a decade later with two more kids around, absolutely grim.

[Spikey M]

You definitely don’t sleep enough Mr Spikey.

Probably not. 6 or 7 hours a night since I was a teenager.

[Giggles]

That's over sleeping.

[Ian]

I got in to Groningen via Bristol and Amsterdam at 11pm local, after getting up at 4am. All of it was a ballache but when I got hauled over by some dope-schmoking coppers, in a clear good cop/bad cop formation, in an unmarked car 15 mins out of Schiphol airport, I thought they were taking the piss. I asked them why they had pulled me over and they said they had reaschonsch. The searched the car and asked me if I had drugsch or weaponsch. I said 'Er, no' (in a total daze by this point) and bad cop said 'You had to think about it, yesch?'

Anyway, 10 mins later the one who had been searching the car told me that it was all a mischtake and that he was schorry for the inconveniensch and hoped I enjoy the Netherlandsch. Bad cop was fucking steaming. They didn't even breathalyse me or anything.

Maybe they just randomly follow cars leaving the airport for drug stops? I dunno. Either way, 24/6/2024 is down in the history books as 'not my day'.

Once flying back from wherever my dad was working at the time the flight I'd got brought me back via Amsterdam. Some Glasgow airport customs guy saw a young bloke on his own coming back with a big case "from Amsterdam" (actually with stuff for a month in the UAE or whereverthefuck) and thought he was onto something. Saunters up to me.

"Good afternoon, sir."
"Hello."
"Ahem. Are you aware that it's illegal to bring drugs or firearms into the country?"
"Yep."
"................good."

And then he sauntered off. Didn't even bother to then inspect my case out of spite so I clearly RATTLED him with my steely, "of course I know that's illegal, dumbass" demeanour.

Either that or because ah dinnae speak like a puir wee mad jakey bastart and thus he thought I must be an upstanding pillar of society.

[Pepe]

Just making sure that you knew the rule of the law like a proper citizen, as opposed to some illegal immigrant.

[Ian]

"I'm sorry officer, it is the custom of my people to bring a suitcase full of meth and AK47s into the country with you, is that not the done thing in Scotland?"

[mo]

Real men sleep a maximum of six or seven minutes a night, don't you know.

[niko_cee]

"I'm sorry officer, it is the custom of my people to bring a suitcase full of meth and AK47s into the country with you, is that not the done thing in Scotland?"

It'd be Ket and, I dunno, what type of gun sounds good in Scotch? Uzi?

[Baz]

They take fish tranquillisers in Scotland, rather than horse. Dunno what it’s called but they soak paper in it, wait for it to dry and then smoke it.

Thats a lot of fish medication sir
Yep.

[Baz]

Had an email from someone wanting to run some nonsense campaign and, within his pitch, said how much of a failure the 'Just Say No' campaign was in the 80s. Was it a failure? I feel like most people have heard of it.

[Spikey M]

Hasn't worked though, has it?

That said, is there a way of stopping people from doing it? Telling some people what not to do, just makes them want to do it more and showing people the harsh reality of drug consumption by forcing dealers to put meth-sore pictures on their packaging seems... unlikely to work.

[Baz]

Hmm I suppose. I think I’m just resigned to the fact that my job means nothing, so someone purely knowing about something I’ve done means I would deem it a success, regardless of any outcomes.

I started Bob Mortimer’s “And Away” book today and there’s quite a fitting part that definitely rings true to me, and no offence is intended Spikey but:

I quite like hospitals. They have such a purposeful vibe. In the past I’ve had jobs in the civil service and local government and hated the general malaise that permeated those institutions, due, I suspect, to the lack of a real sense of purpose or direction. The ever-present nagging feeling that you are achieving absolutely nothing. Whereas a hospital is a full-on, in-your-face, achievement factory.

[Spikey M]

Even hospitals are only delaying the inevitable and sweet sweet embrace of death.

And they can't WFH.

[Baz]

Had an email about some kind of audit which included:

Unfortunately, this may mean that office space may need to be booked at last minute to accommodate this inspection, which we will require your support should this affect you in the future.

That's basically 'you might have to stop coming in the office for a bit' right?

I've already stopped going in, while I can get away with it, and Thursdays are so much better without having to faff about with idle chit chat and basically everything else that's great about being at home vs being in an office.

[mo]

My line manager is a spineless appeaser, who when tasked with sorting staffing for the pastoral team for next year, royally fucked it up. Each Head of Year has a non-teaching 'Pastoral Lead' who deals with a lot of the issues that come up day-to-day that HoY can't because we teach quite a lot (little Timmy threw a sandwich at me, Sarah's giving me dirty looks, Mark has a rape list on a Discord server, you know the type of thing). We've got a new HoY coming in with Y8 so he decided to move my pastoral lead to them because a) the HoY is new and b) my pastoral lead is fucking ace. Like literally brilliant. Knows when to take stuff off me, does stuff without being asked, knows when to give kids time and when to tell them to fuck off and stop being so wet. So this infuriated me because I'm going to be Head of Y11 in September and myself and the students could do with the continuity. Myself and Pastoral Lead both unhappy about it, plus the Y8s are fucking feral.

So today my Pastoral Lead told us all she'd just accepted a new job at the private school down the road. Less hours, more money, not treated like a mug. I was losing her anyway so it doesn't directly affect me, but totally fucks up my line manager's plans. And that has been some small crumb of comfort.

[Danny]

One of that list is worryingly specific

[Lofty]

Yeah are rape lists just the new panini sticker swap lists in today's schools? You've made that seem more mundane than it should be.

[Jimmy Floyd]

That was the joke wasn't it? Rule of three, well executed.

[Pepe]

Sorry to inform you, but the UK dream is over. I took another job in the US instead for almost 4x more than what your lot offered.

[Spikey M]

I still think less of you for even considering this dump.

[Pepe]

I just wanted to be close to you.

[Sir Andy Mahowry]

I just wanted to be close to you.

Lol, gay.

[Spikey M]

Good taste though.

[Lewis]

In recent weeks our manager has Lost the Dressing Room, and it's been fascinating to watch it unfold. In short, she committed us to a completely arbitrary yet unrealistic timetable on something with no idea how it was going to be done, refused to let us decide amongst ourselves how to manage it but also refused to make decisions on anything, and it has since become an increasingly desperate scramble to get it done which nobody is engaged with in any way. Proper third season Jose Mourinho stuff. Half-expecting Willian to walk in on Monday and beg us to do overtime.

[Pepe]

Lewis player-manager.

[Lewis]

I proposed a better way of doing it early doors, and offered to oversee it all myself, and she ended up getting shirty with me in a recent crisis meeting when I said there was still time to consider it. To be honest I think she's still seething about me whipping everybody up into signing an open letter claiming that we aren't graded (paid) appropriately.

[Pepe]

You should suggest a union.

[Lofty]

Lewis would be a brutally effective union rep

[Lewis]

I've been pointing out for years that my responsibilities should have me at least a grade higher, and they just tell me to go and work somewhere else (which I have tried to), so I did my own assessment of what everybody in the office does and then set about explaining to them all how they are being stiffed as well. The union claimed that they could only get involved if there was a 'policy breach', which I discovered that there was for some people, so I dropped that into informal conversations outside of the open letter to panic the management a bit. They have promised to do a new assessment of what everybody does, so let's see how it pans out. Probably with me not being re-hired as a pain in the arse when they upgrade everyone.

[Baz]

I get notifications whenever anyone dies and it involves substances. Someone's just died who shares a name with a certain Tekken character.

[phonics]

Jin Kazuya?