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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

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    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    The All New Jobs Thread

    Looks like the old one was a fatality of the switchover. I'll see if I can restore it, but we might have to start again.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    All the Korean stories

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    The Koreans hacked it. Jimmy never existed

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    Administrator Kiků's Avatar
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    I quit my job yesterday in honour.

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    All my revenge stories.

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    Respect the point. Byron's Avatar
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    You should be glad there's no longer evidence of your shit.

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    Fair point.

    Can we delete the relationship thread too plz kthx.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    The Koreans hacked it. Jimmy never existed
    Has he posted yet?

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    I used to be funny.
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    Usually my jobs by email alerts get me some admin roles in the North East of England.

    Today, a company recommended me an Assistant Manager role in South Carolina. At a Burger King Drive-Thru.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    I got a new laptop today which would be nice (rendering times cut by 50% ) but the fan on it is immense and never shuts up.

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    Senior Member Mazuuurk's Avatar
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    Sounds much like Arsenal Fan TV.

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    Custom User Title phonics's Avatar
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    For the third time in four years there's a re-org of the company structure and job cuts imminent.

    There's no chance I'm getting turfed less than a month after they threw shares at me to keep me, but it's really fucking annoying to keep having to deal with uncertainty in job roles, functions and what the company is doing.

    There's a town hall tomorrow with some pretty senior folks in town (by no coincidence) and it's going to be a sight to behold. 3 months ago we were told me were right sized, now we're not. Lies, lies, lies!

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    For the third time in four years there's a re-org of the company structure and job cuts imminent.

    There's no chance I'm getting turfed less than a month after they threw shares at me to keep me, but it's really fucking annoying to keep having to deal with uncertainty in job roles, functions and what the company is doing.

    There's a town hall tomorrow with some pretty senior folks in town (by no coincidence) and it's going to be a sight to behold. 3 months ago we were told me were right sized, now we're not. Lies, lies, lies!

    What does "there's a town hall tomorrow" mean? Is it not there every day?

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    Omg we might be getting rid of the sales idiots.

    Remember I said they were going to employ GENERIC sales people with no industry experience and train them up? Well that's been cancelled because of 3 of us internally (3 very highly thought of employees) to potentially make a sales SUPER TEAM, from point of sale to installation.

    This could spell the end of the sales team as we know it.

    The MD and owner both couldn't believe they hadn't thought of this before (which is lol).

    Anyway...£70k p/a plus?

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    It’s just a bollocks business term for a meeting where the board talk at the minions about the company

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    It’s just a bollocks business term for a meeting where the board talk at the minions about the company

    Lots of touching base to be expected then.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    It’s just a bollocks business term for a meeting where the board talk at the minions about the company
    Pretty much.

    Senior people in the company gather the plebs and talk pish.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Anyway...£70k p/a plus?
    Engineering pays.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    Engineering pays.
    Does it fuck. Comish pays.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    As if anyone is going to give a mong £75k

    They'd be out of business in a week with decisions like that. From the stuff you say here you sound like one of the worst and most trouble making employees imaginable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    As if anyone is going to give a mong 75k
    40k basic and I will earn double that in comish. I'll leave it to the mongs to sell lines and calls. CUNTS.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Omg we might be getting rid of the sales idiots.

    Remember I said they were going to employ GENERIC sales people with no industry experience and train them up? Well that's been cancelled because of 3 of us internally (3 very highly thought of employees) to potentially make a sales SUPER TEAM, from point of sale to installation.

    This could spell the end of the sales team as we know it.

    The MD and owner both couldn't believe they hadn't thought of this before (which is lol).

    Anyway...£70k p/a plus?
    That sounds like management speak for cost cutting.

    I don't get any commission for my sales work, but my field manager is commission only. It makes it a fun relationship, with him constantly screaming GET IT OUT THE DOOR and me not caring because my figures aren't measured.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    That sounds like management speak for cost cutting.

    I don't get any commission for my sales work, but my field manager is commission only. It makes it a fun relationship, with him constantly screaming GET IT OUT THE DOOR and me not caring because my figures aren't measured.
    How so? I won't be doing just sales so I'll get on a good basic. I'll be selling, and delivering the service. Only thing I won't be doing is supporting. I will also be handing over post-sale to other engineers.

    They could get rid of at least 3 idiot sales people, that's potentially up to 6. And they won't be employing the 4 sales people they are advertising for just now.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    And most importantly their overall payroll will be cut.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    And most importantly their overall payroll will be cut.
    Absolutely, and they'll probably make far more money too.

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    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    When Magic realizes he will now have to do twice the work for the same money.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    When Magic realizes he will now have to do twice the work for the same money.
    Absolutely not, as I said I'm salaried at the moment, but will be moving on to a commission based package.

    Imagine dealing with a technical sales person. Unreal, right? Unfortunately we are pretty well behind the times because of this. We are coming right backatcha.

  29. #29
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    This is like when my dog reckons she'll get a walk and breakfast, but actually I'm just going to work.

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    On this day, in 2019, I will post a picture of my payslip. Quote me.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    If work can sort a transfer, it looks like I'm moving to Falmouth. Something to do ennit.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    If work can sort a transfer, it looks like I'm moving to Falmouth. Something to do ennit.
    Never heard of it but it looks a nice place. Is it far from where you are now?

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Never heard of it but it looks a nice place. Is it far from where you are now?
    About 300 miles, lol. My mate is living there, and his flatmate is moving out in a few months. I've visited and it's really nice, my walk to work would be 0.3 miles, literally along the seafront. It's quite twee and hoity toity but that's alright cus so am I. It's pretty small, but it's a student town with good pubs and restaurants and something of a night life, so I'm sold.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    The flat is nowt special, but it's in a lovely, well located area. You can see the sea from the front door! Rent is just under 400/month inc bills for a room which is affordable if not cheap.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    We're still thinking of that whole area for summer hols as it's about the only place the Mrs hasn't been yet. If we do, then that place is on the list after a quick skim on Google.

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    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Igor could give you a tour.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by igor_balis View Post
    If work can sort a transfer, it looks like I'm moving to Falmouth. Something to do ennit.
    I've been. Bring a book. Going there is the last 'something to do' you'll be encountering for a while.

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    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    RIP Igor, lost to darkest Cornwall.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    I've been. Bring a book. Going there is the last 'something to do' you'll be encountering for a while.


    I dunno, I don't really do stuff anyway. There's nice pubs and nice places to eat and I matched with pretty art student girls on tinder when I visited before and my flatmate-to-be likes watching football and getting rat arsed on booze and occasionally other stuff every few weekends or so, so that's already a significant improvement on my current situation.

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    It beats having to feign interest in my mum's anecdotes about the thermostat or whatever.

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    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    If you're still living at home then move anywhere to move out.

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    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If you like cold wind and long grass, it's pretty good I suppose.

  43. #43
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Does that SW bit not get proper weather in the summer?

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    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    If you're still living at home then move anywhere to move out.
    Well, quite. I really don't want to be stuck in Rugby long term, so I'm absolutely not going to waste rent on a shithole flat here, especially as my mum is incredibly easy to live with by parent standards, but I'm up for taking a gamble on anywhere half-decent. My basic plan is to move around from flat-share to flat-share with various pals around the UK until I find somewhere I want to settle, moving back home during the gaps between them.

    Manchester mate and Sheffield mate are always moving from flat to flat on a nearly yearly basis, so that'll be the next move if I don't want to live in Cornwall forever.

  45. #45
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Does that SW bit not get proper weather in the summer?
    It does yeah. Good for holidays. Living there is another story.

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    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    You can just learn the accordion or something you twee, hoity-toity faggot.

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    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Thought you were gonna come to Belfast?

  48. #48
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Are you in Belfast now?

  49. #49
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Yeah.

  50. #50
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    Does that SW bit not get proper weather in the summer?
    South East gets the best. Driest part of the country.

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