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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #4251
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    No claps for those consigned to the plague holes unless it's in place of a payrise, safety equipment, etc.

  2. #4252
    I used to be funny.
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    One bright spot of yesterday's news is it might finally see the end of the alcoholic. And there's a couple of long serving staff that might take the chance to retire. Or the long term sick.

    Look at me playing redundancy bingo.

  3. #4253
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baz View Post
    Nah that’s strictly for NHS staff, not key workers. Fuck you teachers, bankers, postal workers, social workers, supermarket staff, etc.
    agreed

  4. #4254
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    Got verbal confirmation today of new role. All the Spanish-speaking countries of Latin America, 4 trips a year (covid permitting) for 2 weeks each time. Particular brief to build a customer base in Chile, which has as yet been resistant to our charms. 'Improved package' whatever that means (no numbers yet), which sounds like it will have a commission element. Company credit card, laptop, the works.

    When you get an opportunity like this, about a billion miles outside my comfort zone, the only answer is where do I fucking sign.

  5. #4255
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    Got verbal confirmation today of new role. All the Spanish-speaking countries of Latin America, 4 trips a year (covid permitting) for 2 weeks each time. Particular brief to build a customer base in Chile, which has as yet been resistant to our charms. 'Improved package' whatever that means (no numbers yet), which sounds like it will have a commission element. Company credit card, laptop, the works.

    When you get an opportunity like this, about a billion miles outside my comfort zone, the only answer is where do I fucking sign.
    Congrats - sounds pretty ace overall, but surely only accept once you've found out what the "improved package" is? They're not doing this out of the kindness of their hearts I assume, so it'll be worth far more to them.

    I'd have thought you should really be looking for around £10-15k improvement and a better title for all that. Is there any other comparable role within your company/the market?

  6. #4256
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If it's even a bit better than what I'm on now - and it will be - then I'll more than take it.

    It's not like tech or other booming sectors with people bouncing around everywhere. It's an old fashioned industry, we are probably the only company in the UK that offers our product range and they're giving me the job because it's convenient for them - the outgoing incumbent is 77 years old, I'm 32, I 'know the club' and I speak Spanish. The only other source they have of recruiting outside guys is Italy. They've done that before, it's way more expensive than promoting me, and it always fails anyway, the latest guy crawling back to Milan at the start of the year.

    In the current situation and given this opportunity suddenly thrown into my lap, it's an absolute no brainer, even if the rise ends up being £5k rather than £15k or whatever. I basically walked in here off the street 2.5 years ago (or out of Korea), and it's the sort of place where you sink or swim, so I'm happy to swim, all the way to Venezuela. Currently I'm a minion, but if I make a success of this, I'll be part of the firm and be much better able to dictate things down the line.

  7. #4257
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    From what you've said there it sounds like you're in a pretty good position to be dictating things now.

  8. #4258
    I used to be funny.
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    Good job, Jimmy. Pity this couldn't come full circle with some trips to Korea.

  9. #4259
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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  10. #4260
    Senior Member niko_cee's Avatar
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    That's spot on.

  11. #4261
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Congrats Jimmy. Ask for £5k more than whatever they offer you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post

  12. #4262
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Work is in crisis response mode. Looking likely I’m gonna get pulled in.
    I'm a twit

  13. #4263
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    After news that one of our customers had died, conversation in the office quickly turned to whether you can DHL a body. You see, we need to get his next shipment out to him ASAP, but now his premises will be closed until he's been repatriated, but we really need his goods out the door this month.

    Capitalism

  14. #4264
    Senior Member Disco's Avatar
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    You can't, they have rules about that. Assuming you tell them what's in it of course.

  15. #4265
    Fuck like you cook.
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    BBC Wales Radio today.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000mqmg

    16 minutes in if anyone is interested. I can't believe it's been six months fighting the same shit.

    Tomorrow is my last day and I return to Wales. Family!

  16. #4266
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    If there was ever an opportunity to plug the board.

  17. #4267
    I used to be funny.
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    Yeah but How bad did it get, Tim?

  18. #4268
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    "Well, we thought about unbanning Harold"

  19. #4269
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    "My mate Havey attended high level meetings and they thought it was the end times."

  20. #4270
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Six months ago we were told the curve would be flattened in fourteen days. It now feels like we’re somehow approaching The Third Half of the pandemic.
    I'm a twit

  21. #4271
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    Service sector is supposed to be somewhat quiet but my team is as busy as ever. Granted some of our work is directly Covid related but, considering commercial lawyers are primarily transactional, we're much busier than I'd expect us to be in this climate.

    There's some life in the economy yet.

  22. #4272
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    Found out yesterday that we're going to ditch the students stay where they are, teachers go to them method we've been using, which is great news because it's been a fucking ball ache. Back to our own rooms week after next, spraying down tables between lesson, still using the one way system etc.

  23. #4273
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Dreamt I had my old job. Woke up and was the most relieved I’ve been in years.
    I'm a twit

  24. #4274
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Currently being paid locum rates (about £35 an hour I think) to watch video game streams

  25. #4275
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    Currently being paid locum rates (about £35 an hour I think) to watch video game streams
    Any vacancies?

  26. #4276
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    Oklahoma. Jesus

    Guess Spencer rattler isn’t as good as he thinks he is. 3 picks against Kansas state and a big old L.

  27. #4277
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    Watching the lsu game and it’s early days but they, as you’d expect, look a completely different team.

    Brennan doesn’t have the same charisma and presence as burrow and the receivers aren’t a patch on Jefferson, chase etc. Going to be a tricky season for them not drifting as reigning champs into obscurity again.

  28. #4278
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It's rare that you see two posts in the wrong thread.

  29. #4279
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    Ha. Oops.

    If someone can move them to the NFL thread that would be great.

  30. #4280
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty View Post
    Any vacancies?
    Plenty if you've got a medical degree or want to go to Uni for 5 years.

  31. #4281
    Senior Member Lofty's Avatar
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    I'll stick with the iron road.

  32. #4282
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Was handling inbound customer service calls today. This bloke had his card retained by a self service machine and was apoplectic that someone wouldn't hand deliver it to his house. He didn't even ask someone in the branch if they could get it for him, just went home and phoned up customer service.

    I actually went to the trouble of finding the branch's direct contact number and asked if he could collect it from them tomorrow, just cus i was so amused by the cheek of him, but when i said his two options were picking it up tomorrow or us sending him a replacement in the post he went mental. NOT GOOD ENOUGH, SOMEONE CAN BRING IT ME TONIGHT.

    I could barely stop myself laughing. We can't do that mate.

    "CAN'T OR WON'T ?"

    well, we absolutely won't. Then he hung up. I wasn't even annoyed cus it was so funny.

  33. #4283
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    I love those sort of people. We got them all the time when I worked for the Court.

    YOU'RE TAKING THE FOOD FROM MY DAUGHTERS MOUTH!

    We prefer Direct Debit

  34. #4284
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    Poor people are the worst.

  35. #4285
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    I’m 2 weeks into my 4 week “risk assessment” and it’s absolutely gruelling.

    Doing it digitally will be one of those things people claim as a massive success embracing the new normal etc. In reality it’s crap because I’m having to eat my own business, and I switch my camera off whenever I’m really bored and play with my phone.

    Got a week off in October though which is great. Lockdown annual leave no doubt.

  36. #4286
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    I get customers like that. Ten to five on a Friday, we're locking up in ten minutes, someone rings up from the Norfolk coast or whatever. 'We need a water pump, pre 9am delivery for tomorrow.' Sorry mate, the courier's already been. 'You can organise a special service.' We cannot, and even if we could, you're only spending forty quid, it isn't worth it. 'Well, mate, I don't know if you want our business, but we need this pump for tomorrow morning mate.' Not possible old bean, you needed to ring about six hours ago. 'Can we come in and collect tomorrow morning?' We're not open. 'Why aren't you open?' Because it's a Saturday. 'Are you telling me you don't open on Saturdays?' Yes I am. 'I don't understand how you do any business, mate, with that attitude.' By selling to organised outfits and not useless cunts like you.

    It's the ones who try to bully you that wind me up. With a bank, it's probably different as you're a fucking bank and so anyone who doesn't like it is ultimately screaming into the sea.

  37. #4287
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    The best part is that they obviously think that they know how to run your business better than you do. If you are so good at it, why do you find yourself in such a predicament?

  38. #4288
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Poor people are the worst.
    The v poor and v rich people are generally a piece of piss to deal with. I am sure it comes as no surprise that, by a pretty huge margin, the most awkward customers are middle-class middle-aged people. Karens, basically.

  39. #4289
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    With a bank, it's probably different as you're a fucking bank and so anyone who doesn't like it is ultimately screaming into the sea.
    Tbf, one of the things i like most about my job is how we don't have to follow the American customer service model. I basically have free reign to shrug and tell customers to get fucked if they're being unreasonable. You sometimes get customers being all "WELL I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING MOVING TO A DIFFERENT BANK", and i am allowed to respond by telling them how easy it is to move banks and tell them i can either close their account myself or they can go to another bank and do the 7 day switch.

  40. #4290
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foe View Post
    Poor people are the worst.
    Agree with Igor, it's not the poor. They're usually so down trodden by years of Government shafting that they're now apathetic to pretty much anything.

    Although I disagree with him when it comes to the rich.

  41. #4291
    Man(c) of the People igor_balis's Avatar
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    Even better one today. Phonecall from some woman in Australia.

    She told me she had been talking to a director of ours. I spent about 5 mins looking on our internal phonebook etc, and even tried googling "his name" "bank i work for" and got fuck all.

    Eventually i was like "er, what email address have you been interacting with?"

    "[nameofthebankiworkfor]_uk@yahoo.com"


    Err...you haven't sent them any money have you?

    "NO THEY ARE GOING TO SEND ME MONEY "

    I just said I'm afraid they're not, nd transferred her to the fraud department. Fucking hell.

  42. #4292
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    You won't be laughing when she's dripping with bling, mate.

  43. #4293
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Worked from the office today as we have some work being done at home and had the head of another department more or less tell me that if I apply for a vacancy in their department it's mine and I'm conflicted as fuck.

    Financially, it only pays £5k more before tax with 5 more days holiday. Nothing world altering, but;

    Pro's:
    No more court hearings
    No more chasing debt
    More chance of promotion

    Cons:
    Less working from home
    More travelling
    More stress

    It's basically a toss up between staying bored but comfortable and learning something new that MIGHT be going somewhere.

  44. #4294
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    The thing to look at is: what's the step after this one? If the new thing makes it easier to advance then it might be worth the short-term pain

  45. #4295
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    Is the WFH negotiable or is that change directly a result of the more travelling aspect?

    Rumors going around we wont be back in the office until Q2 next year. I am seriously going to push for either full time WFH or a majority WFH when the discussion comes up.

  46. #4296
    I used to be funny.
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    I think Spikey's job requires a fair amount of face-to-face stuff. I mean, he's talking about court meetings and such in his current role.

  47. #4297
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    Is the WFH negotiable or is that change directly a result of the more travelling aspect?

    Rumors going around we wont be back in the office until Q2 next year. I am seriously going to push for either full time WFH or a majority WFH when the discussion comes up.
    Not negotiable. I'd be moving from the enforcement side of things to the prevention side of things.

  48. #4298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    I think Spikey's job requires a fair amount of face-to-face stuff. I mean, he's talking about court meetings and such in his current role.
    The new role mentioned no more court hearings. I would probably take it just to not do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Spikey M View Post
    Not negotiable. I'd be moving from the enforcement side of things to the prevention side of things.
    Oof.

  49. #4299
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    What if moving you out of enforcement is the prevention?

  50. #4300
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    We've just had a team meeting and one of the managers accused a black colleague of having a "bad work ethnic". Skype having a mute button has never been more appreciated.

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