Why was he playing women's tennis?Originally Posted by Shindig
Why was he playing women's tennis?
I lost.
Is that not something for over 80's?
There's a comedy film being made about Pickleball, written by one of the Workaholics writers.
I presumed Kyle Newacheck (Karl in Workaholics, and also a director) would be involved but apparently he's busy directing Happy Gilmore 2. A film nobody wants, surely.
I'm a twit
Teenage Spikey loved Happy Gilmore.
So no. They probably don't.
Adam Sandler's agent probably does.
Yes.
I'm up for a promotion into a new manager role that doesn't currently exist, and they've asked me to write a business case (for the existence of the role). Obviously not being a director or whatever I don't have access to key stats and data, just a general idea of why the role should exist. Is this a normal situation?
Is anything there a normal situation?
I can picture it now: you’ll write a business case, the higher-ups will use it as a job description and advertise the post, you won’t apply cos they can get lost, someone with big nips gets the gig.
I'm a twit
They've already written and sent me the job description, so then being asked to write a business case strikes me as back to front, but I could be wrong.
That exact thing happened to a mate of mine and he had to work for two years under the numpty they recruited that phoned it in every single day, except in his case he was pushing to create the role rather than being told there was one.
I'd politely tell them to do one Jim.
Not content with shutting my department down they're now looking to sell our customers to the highest bidder. Fucking bastards.
Sounds like a job for ChatGPT
Isn't everything? I couldn't do my job without it, these days.
I'm a twit
"Tractors are a four-wheeled vehicle often used for agriculture ..."
Like swearing, it should be used sparingly for maximum impact and I despair at people who haven't even attempted to re-word what it spits out before rampantly passing it off as their own work.
This is a genuine posting for an enormous company. Role is business development manager.
What we’re looking for:
- Proactive and Driven: You should be highly motivated to find and pursue new leads and opportunities
- Exhibit relentless drive as a go-getter, with the confidence to pick up the phone and make things happen
- Excellent Communicator: You must possess strong communication skills, allowing you to quickly build rapport with potential clients, through a variety of different methods (including verbal, written and presentation)
- Innovative Thinker: Creative in your approach to sales, developing unique strategies to attract new business
- Track record of selling: Possess an unwavering "hunter" mindset with a demonstrable solid sales background
I have to give a presentation for a second round interview in a couple of weeks time. What the fuck is that? I feel like just dropping out now.
What if I have a "hunter" mindset, but it occasionally wavers?
Can you do it on micro-brewing?
Then you become the hunted.
Who are we kidding, you are a farmer.
I presume I need to do it on the job in question. I could waffle about brewing for hours.
Then you're a complete failure and don't have what it takes. You need to pick up the phone and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
Hadn't occurred to me they were referring to that old chestnut. My drive as a go-getter must have accidentally relented.
Having never heard of such claptrap this lead me here.
Chris Leader, of course. I bet his son is called Hunter Leader, whether he exists or doesn't yet exist, as is the mentality:
Rapey.Hunters view every “no” as “not yet”.
"Your body, my choice".
Sales must be the worst job of all time. You need a neck like a jockeys bollocks and even then it all depends on the mood of the cunt you're talking to.
My approach to being a salesman is to do the opposite of what sales experts / charlatans want me to do. I don't chase new leads. I don't follow up on contacts. I'm not persuasive and I'm not a people person. I simply give them what they want while talking as little as possible. Currently up 23% year on year, sales theory books on the bonfire.
Inbound is cute. The challenge is either you don't have what they want, or they don't know what they want.
If you're trying to sell things to people that don't want them, then, I mean, you're probably selling to the wrong people. It's much better to try and sell things to people who do want them.
You don't get this sort of insight in the business section at Waterstones. Read it and live it.
I meant you aren't selling something anyone wants. Hence why you need to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN and be an UNWAVERING HUNTER.
Maybe sell things someone wants?
I guess Magic isn't getting a John Deere crankshaft for Christmas, then.
Bingo.
The amount of cold calling emails I get because I sign up to a webinar drives me mental. I'm not the decision maker and even if I was, this is not the process for buying software. Fuck off and stop emailing me.
I only heard of it recently because my wife applied for a sales job and was asked if she was a hunter or a farmer, which made both of us lol.
This is the way. The number of salespeople I have contacted who then don't answer or not give me the information I need is astounding. You have a website, I know the product. Just give me the fucking price and how long it will take me to get it.
Rule no.1: Don't pitch to the bitch.
Your asking the wrong questions. You need to be asking 'where do I sign?', 'can I pay it all upfront before the project starts?' and 'do you do 10 year contracts?'.
Can we set up a time for a call to discuss your needs?
I already told you my needs. Now fuck off.
Following up on my last 15 emails,
"Just checking in."
I've just been speaking to a man that has been "basically made homeless" after assaulting his wife, mum and son and having restraining orders taken out against him.
"I slept in the car last night mate. Where am I meant to go?"
To hell, ideally. Save me the tears.
People like that should be conscripted into the army. There's my progressive, forward-thinking opinion for the day.
I'd prefer prison.
They just get packed off to hostels like the YMCA and Salvation Army, where they become addicted to substances.
I like to think of it as job security.
I'm a twit
Not down here he won't. Single straight men spend years on the street. He will eventually be picked up by HARP, but they're massively overstretched and offer very little support anymore.
There are basically no support services left in Southend. Which is normally very sad, but in this instance lol. Unlucky m8.
Last edited by Spikey M; 12-11-2024 at 11:47 AM.
Got my redundancy pay schedule (£1,400) lol.
I'll be on gardening leave for my 4 weeks' notice which starts either late next week or early Dec.
What's your next move?
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