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Thread: The All New Jobs Thread

  1. #3251
    Administrator Kikó's Avatar
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    First time I saw it used was at my last place but apparently it's pretty common in Banking. Usually used when they put contractors into a forced absence (end of year cost saving).

  2. #3252
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    It's common in prison.

    Usually to let prisoners leave to attend a funeral.

  3. #3253
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    /ˈfərlō/

  4. #3254
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    Oil price is looking a bit ropey

  5. #3255
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Apparently it's an American term.

  6. #3256
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    So stop using it!

  7. #3257
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    I've got a call today with my prospective employer to discuss my onboarding and other things like furlough, holidays, car, laptop, etc, before submission of my notice tomorrow.

    Trust me to be put on furlough as the same day as being put on gardening leave, FFS.

  8. #3258
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Glorious phone call earlier. Notice being handed in tomorrow.

  9. #3259
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    I nominated myself for an in-year reward before Christmas, and my line manager tried pushing it today, but apparently our overall manager blocked it because of how I 'conduct myself'. There is nothing work-related to complain about, because I do my work and then all of the shit that other departments send me; but apparently things like glazing over in meetings and then lolling out loud at 'e-mail-free Fridays' counts as not buying into the departmental way of doing things. This is Mark and Faggotgate all over again.
    This appears to have been approved, despite telling them I'd rather not have it if it meant suiting up and shaking Mr McMahon's hand, so I've obviously double-swerved the lot of them. #governmentexpert

  10. #3260
    I used to be funny.
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    Your speech is already written, right?

  11. #3261
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    This is hardly the time for the government to be shedding its top experts.

  12. #3262
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    This appears to have been approved, despite telling them I'd rather not have it if it meant suiting up and shaking Mr McMahon's hand, so I've obviously double-swerved the lot of them. #governmentexpert
    What sort of reward are we talking here? Significant enough that you’re surprised it was approved?

    Energy companies culling contractors all over the shop. Being staff

  13. #3263
    I used to be funny.
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    Social distancing at work now seems to extend to the rather sensible notion you should move desks. For us that means dragging all our desktop units with us. We used to be able to work everywhere in the office. Now we're tied to machinery.

  14. #3264
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It was only a few hundred quid (after tax/student loan increase), which was why I felt able to act the big man over it. I would probably have wound it in if it was worthwhile.

  15. #3265
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It was only a few hundred quid (after tax/student loan increase), which was why I felt able to act the big man over it. I would probably have wound it in if it was worthwhile.
    Yeah that’s not bad man, congrats. Buy a house in hull with that.

  16. #3266
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Post-LOCKDOWN TTH Meet fund.

  17. #3267
    More successful than most Magic's Avatar
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    Handed in my notice over video call. Embarrassing tbh, MD told me he didn't understand why I was moving, my new company is shit, would never expect any of his guys to end up there etc. Guess that makes me even more confident I've made the right move.


  18. #3268
    I used to be funny.
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    You know shit's serious when the NHS are offering secondments to our staff.

  19. #3269
    Isn't he banned? Baz's Avatar
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    Been told today that I won’t be getting redeployed. I’ve plenty of work to do until the second week of April and then I’m full embracing the piss-take territory a lot of my colleagues have been flouncing in for these past few weeks.
    I'm a twit

  20. #3270
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    How was working in the office Jim?

    Or did you manage to convince you knob of an MD otherwise?

  21. #3271
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    No, I'm still there, now every day again. So many people have been furloughed that it feels a bit safer now, it's four people in a 20 man office setup. Would still rather be at home but if this is what it takes to have an income then so be it.

    'Born survivor', as one of my mates rather presumptuously put it.

  22. #3272
    I used to be funny.
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    With the India lockdown a chunk of our skeleton crew are being drafted in to sub for the offshore guys on another contract. I'm sure that's just what you need when claims are at a high.

  23. #3273
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    One of our headteachers (yeah we have two, don't ask) has announced he's off for pastures new today. I guess there is no ideal time to announce this but in a time of massive uncertainty in schools, not knowing what our leadership model looks like is another straw removed from the game of life that is Kerplunk.

  24. #3274
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    My work is now saying my 'OFFICIAL CONTRACT' I signed when I joined 6 years ago says I only need to give 1 weeks' notice, not 1 month like the HR online dashboard (which was an admin error). It was changed to 1 month in 2015 and they didn't issue me a re-vised contract.

    Now they say my end date is 8th of April, and after that I can't use the car and I won't be paid (even though my wage is being paid by HMRC). I asked if they couldn't just say I handed in my notice on the 23rd so I still get furlough and they refused.

    WOW.

  25. #3275
    Webly Ian's Avatar
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    Surely a week is the minimum notice period, not the maximum? When I left my last job I handed it in earlier than I needed to just so it was absolutely clear that I was definitely fucking off and when it was happening.

  26. #3276
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    It just says 'If you wish to terminate your employment you must give 1 weeks' notice in writing'.

    Also my restrictive covenant says:


    • You shall not, after termination of your employment, use the name of the company or any group company in any advertising or promotional material
    • You shall not, for a period of 3 months after the date of termination of your employment, howsoever occasioned, including breach by the company, either directly or indirectly, in relation to any like or similar business to that carried out by the company:
      • Within a 10 mile radius of your normal place of work be employed or engaged in the service of any employer or person or persons concerned with any like or similar business to that carried out by the company, or
      • You will not set up, whether alone or in partnership or as a director of a limited company any like or similar business within a radius of 10 mile of any company locations at which you have been employed within the last 12 months without the written consent of the company, or
      • Canvass or solicit, deal with or entice away from the company any customer or supplier of the company or any group company with whom you have had contact or dealings within the 12 month period prior to the termination of your employment, or
      • Approach any employee of the company or any group company with whom you have had contact or dealings within the 12 months period prior to termination of your employment, with a view to enticing them away or employing them


    Does the bit that says 3 months not invalidate the bits that say 12 months?

  27. #3277
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    In fairness, you’re leaving. I wouldn’t expect anything from any company you’re leaving.

  28. #3278
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggles View Post
    In fairness, you’re leaving. I wouldn’t expect anything from any company you’re leaving.
    I'm not, the government is paying my wage. This is pure 100% sour grapes.

  29. #3279
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    So they're fucking you over and you'll have no pay for three weeks of April?

  30. #3280
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    To use the car and all or to even keep you on the books longer than they want to. Why would they bother doing anything when you’re off?

  31. #3281
    DEATH TO THE WEIRD Raoul Duke's Avatar
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    They're obviously going to bin you off ASAP.

    This is why you should never be loyal to an employer - they will happily piss on your shoes and tell you it's raining when it suits them

  32. #3282
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    So they're fucking you over and you'll have no pay for three weeks of April?
    Yes, even though they aren't even paying my wages for that period.

  33. #3283
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    @Shindig can you sort out some sweet Universal Credit for my man?

  34. #3284
    I used to be funny.
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    Nope. I don't work UC.

  35. #3285
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    What can you hook him up with?

  36. #3286
    I used to be funny.
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    Baz's affiliate links.

  37. #3287
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    I don't know what you expected Magic. Obviously the discrepancy between a month and a week is annoying, but your employers have always sounded like cunts. Based on your MD's reaction, they're quite obviously not going to help you out, even if it's no skin off their nose.

  38. #3288
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If they changed the contract in 2015 why is that not valid?

  39. #3289
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    The only real option here is to fuck shit up as much as possible before you leave. Put some key customers noses out of joint, cancel some sales, don't renew any existing deals coming to an end.

    DAMAGE MAXIMISATION.

  40. #3290
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Because he wasn't issued with an updated contract, from the sounds of it.

  41. #3291
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    Quote Originally Posted by SvN View Post
    Because he wasn't issued with an updated contract, from the sounds of it.
    Yep. And the ONE MONTH 'mistake' in my HR portal isn't valid. So is the entire HR portal invalid then? Why didn't they issue me with a new contract? I've had three different jobs...

    Yes damage maximisation. I'm touting our downstream dealers now to become re-sellers at my new place. And I'm letting my key accounts know I'm leaving.

  42. #3292
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Mad Men tactics.

  43. #3293
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    If they admit a contract existed at a certain date, does it matter whether or not you were issued with it? Sounds like clear bad faith to me, but I guess they think you won't sue them for three weeks' pay.

  44. #3294
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    LOL our MD is contacting my downstream channel and trying to find out what we were working on, then telling them at the end I'm leaving and I'll be on gardening leave from Monday...I know this because they are telling me. What a foolish man.

  45. #3295
    Administrator SvN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimmy Floyd View Post
    If they admit a contract existed at a certain date, does it matter whether or not you were issued with it? Sounds like clear bad faith to me, but I guess they think you won't sue them for three weeks' pay.
    It's one of those that you could easily argue, but it's a bit of a grey area I'd say. Plus, we don't know the circumstances - how did the contract exist? Was it for all other people at his level? Did a manager mention the new notice period verbally?

    Either way, the fact that he wasn't issued with a new contract shows what a shambles they are as a company.

  46. #3296
    I used to be funny.
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    Another week off. They're wanting to ramp up bringing people back though now that we're getting people poached for the other side of the building.

  47. #3297
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Our CEO suggested some sort of online social distslancing get-together the other day. He's booked it for this evening (afternoon their time as him and three others are US-based). I wasn't particularly keen on the idea but then he said it would have a 'gameshow format' and I thought maybe a quiz and that'd be fine as I love a good quiz. He's sent through some scorecard thing with 'best drink', 'best drink presentation' and 'best joke' so now I'm expecting some lame 'ice-breaker' style bullshit.

    Fuck's sake.

  48. #3298
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Companies should just leave people alone once they’re doing their work.

  49. #3299
    Senior Member Spikey M's Avatar
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    Before we started working from home our manager floated the idea of 'lunch time group skype calls'. We lol'd at the time, but apparently not enough for her to get that it was a big no.

    She tried to get it going twice at first. Nobody answered, so we received a shirty email later in the day about keeping morale up within the team and helping to prevent loneliness. Then 2 people replied asking why that couldn't be done during working hours and she's dropped it all together now. Loneliness.

  50. #3300
    Senior Member Jimmy Floyd's Avatar
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    We had some sitcom-esque antics yesterday. Our owner, having furloughed about 50% of the workforce in 24 hours, then sent out an email out to the surviving staff that he and the two other directors with stakes in the company would be taking 20% salary cuts (not likely to get the bailiffs sniffing, but whatever).

    Hours later, the chief exec of the Houston branch replies to all on that email and pompously declares 'I, too, will be...'. 15 more minutes elapse, and another email comes in. This time it's the US sales director also volunteering for a 20% pay cut. By this time our MD has come into the now near-empty office shrieking a pained cry asking what is going on and why all these people are volunteering pay cuts all of a sudden. Literally as he's speaking, another email pops in - the director in Miami has taken a pay cut, too, leaving our humble MD as the last one not to have done so.

    A couple of people start lolling at him, and he stomps off back to his office with the parting shot 'I'm not rich, you know. I've got a family to feed'. As of now he still hasn't joined them. I hope he doesn't, to be fair, the yanks are all idiots for doing it.

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