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Thread: Depression

  1. #151
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    Jesus fuck I was half expecting this to be your mum saying you were no longer with us.

  2. #152
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It'd be my brother if anyone. My mum can barely use email and still goes through the program guide on sky to change from BBC1 to BBC2.

  3. #153
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    The younger one or the mental one?

    I think the mental one would fit in well here.

  4. #154
    I used to be funny.
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    That's a plus. I never felt that way inclined either. Life is the longest (and only?) thing you'll go through and you might as well stick it out because it always ends in death. Persevere. Something positive will come of it. The further away I get from my depressive spell, the more I start thinking I'll never hit that point again.

    Brains are weird.

  5. #155
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    Can you get your brother on here? If you don't feel comfortable just off yourself and leave one of Baz's calling cards in your pocket.

  6. #156
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    Also why didn't you reply to my supportive PM? I was genuinely worried.

  7. #157
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    That's a plus. I never felt that way inclined either. Life is the longest (and only?) thing you'll go through and you might as well stick it out because it always ends in death. Persevere. Something positive will come of it. The further away I get from my depressive spell, the more I start thinking I'll never hit that point again.

    Brains are weird.
    The problem is, I don't know if I'm ever going to be happy doing medicine. But after all this time and effort and fighting I've done to get through it, it feels incredibly hard to leave and basically throw it away.

  8. #158
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Can you get your brother on here? If you don't feel comfortable just off yourself and leave one of Baz's calling cards in your pocket.
    Older one? There's no way he'd cope

    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Also why didn't you reply to my supportive PM? I was genuinely worried.
    I was crying too much, to be honest.

  9. #159
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    If you were my doctor I'd probably get a second opinion.

  10. #160
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Same.

  11. #161
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    Good to have you back kidda.

  12. #162
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    Didn't realize you weren't doing so well RL, hope you feel better as meaningless as this post is

    We are a community at the end of the day. TTH has got me through a lot over the years (however much I haven't discussed it).

  13. #163
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Is it migraines that are your problem, RL? I'm assuming the medications you're on don't work?

  14. #164
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7om View Post
    Is it migraines that are your problem, RL? I'm assuming the medications you're on don't work?
    I think the fact I have the migraines has really not helped, but whether I'd be enjoying medicine without them I really don't know.

    I've just had so many years now of health problems stopping me doing what I want to do and being what I want to be and achieving what I'm capable of and it's EXHAUSTING. The migraines started at sixth form which was a nightmare - my attendance was barely 50% through my A-levels - but they were pretty decently controlled for the first couple of years of Uni. Then I had chronic fatigue and had a year out with that.

    Since then migraines have been a varying but constant problem. I'll have a good spell but then it'll all go to shit and I'll have 5 days off in 2 weeks and feel shit and under pressure to catch up and I don't know...it just takes so much effort to pick yourself back up after every shit run with it. It's affected how well I've done - particularly on the clinical side - and given me a bit of a mental block with clinical exams. I have really crippling anxiety for them now (written ones are alright) whereas when I was 15 my self-belief in my ability to perform in exams/academically knew no bounds to be honest. I still know I'm capable, but I constantly get knocked down and have it taken away from me by something I don't have a lot of control over and it's really, really hard to deal with.

    It's just stupid things as well, like I really love sport and in particular I've really got into playing badminton to a higher level in the last year or so. If all things were well I could get to a decent county standard I think. But then I get arthritis in my toes. And then I get diagnosed with chronic exertional compartment syndrome and I've got to have surgery for that, and it's just another thing I love that I can't get to my potential in and it's so frustrating. And I can't exercise much because of it (and I comfort eat) so I've put on weight.

    On the topic of migraines and medications and stuff, I've tried everything anyone's ever heard of and ten things they haven't. I've seen GPs, neurologists, headache and facial pain clinics and been to the national migraine centre in London. The advice and treatment I'm on now helps massively - without it I have 2 or 3 migraines a week, every week and each one is a full day out with the headache and then another day being useless from the 'hangover' - but it doesn't take them away, and I still have really shitty spells as I said. Stress/tiredness is a big trigger for me and medicine is stressful and makes you tired - I'm just not sure I'm ever going to be able to sufficiently manage them whilst I'm doing it and to be able to do it.

    So as I started off saying, whether I would have come to feel like this about medicine had it all been relatively smooth sailing, I don't know. Probably not, since it wouldn't have been anywhere near as stressful and I'd have had more opportunity to find the enjoyment in it (I did enjoy it in the dim and distant past). But I do have them, and this is how it's happened and this is how I now feel.

    It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. Every option has a million "Yeah, but...."s attached and I just don't know. I don't know whether I'll feel better about medicine if I'm on a whacking great dose on sertraline. I don't know if my migraines will ever be manageable enough to do it, even if I want to. I don't know if if I quit, I'll just hate something else just as much because the same issues will affect me. I don't know if I even can push on to the end....I've seriously felt like I was going to just fucking lose it at points over the last month or so. Maybe I'll fail anyway.

    Really what I need is a break, but I've now got a 4 week elective on a forensic psychiatric ward. Perhaps one of them will do me in and make my decision for me.

  15. #165
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Lyme disease, mate.

  16. #166
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    There was a girl in my school who was never well and it was always to do with some migraine bullshit. We just assumed she was a needy lesbian. I guess that's also the case here.

  17. #167
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I was about to post something for you in the babes thread but you can go fuck yourself.

    I'm not sure whether that just sounds creepier than it's meant to, or whether it really, really is.

  18. #168
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    There was a girl in my school who was never well and it was always to do with some migraine bullshit. We just assumed she was a needy lesbian. I guess that's also the case here.
    Quote Originally Posted by randomlegend View Post
    I was about to post something for you in the babes thread but you can go fuck yourself.

    I'm not sure whether that just sounds creepier than it's meant to, or whether it really, really is.
    Although I suppose fucking yourself is what you'll be doing if I do post it anyway, so:

    Toggle Spoiler

  19. #169
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    It was Benny who was madly in love with her, was it not?

  20. #170
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    Really? I could have sworn it was magic.

  21. #171
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Lyme disease, yeah?

  22. #172
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    I'll get tested, mate, thanks.

  23. #173
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    Has it ever been suggested? I am actually being serious. John Caudwell was bealing all over the radio about it last year because his son spent years doing what you have described, moping around like a mimsy and thinking he was depressed, and it turned out to be that.

  24. #174
    Senior Member randomlegend's Avatar
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    It's never been suggested, no. I think it's pretty unlikely for a number of reasons, but I'll mention it next time I see the GP.

  25. #175
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    If it is I expect a hamper full of bakery things.

  26. #176
    I used to be funny.
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    If Greggs don't do gift baskets, they fucking should.

  27. #177
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    Lyme disease is something we have to be wary of here. That certain tick is rife around here. I did a bit of gardening s few weeks back and when I was getting into the shower I noticed one of the little bastards digging into my arm. Got him out pronto.

    On the subject of headaches, I've started developing them often. Usually on the right side of my head going into my neck and shoulder and there is always a bit of vertigo thrown in for good measure as well. I'm not sure if it can be classed as migraine though because I don't get photophobia or nausea. I don't even know what the trigger is either, if there is one. I saw a doctor last year and had an MRI and CT scan and found nothing so kind of fucked it off and tried to forget about except it's persistent. Dot really know what to do about it.

    Don't even bother with "grow up" either, Lewis, you pleb.

  28. #178
    Senior Member John's Avatar
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    Maybe you didn't get the tick out quickly enough.

  29. #179
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It's all that squinting at family gatherings.

  30. #180
    Senior Member 7om's Avatar
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    You twat.

  31. #181
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic View Post
    Can you get your brother on here? If you don't feel comfortable just off yourself and leave one of Baz's calling cards in your pocket.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's all that squinting at family gatherings.

  32. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    It's all that squinting at family gatherings.

  33. #183
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    These CBT sessions really are making me realise just how fucking mental I am.

  34. #184
    Senior Member Boydy's Avatar
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    Go on, give us an example.

  35. #185
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    We could have told you that for free.

  36. #186
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boydy View Post
    Go on, give us an example.
    TTH has had plenty of examples.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pepe View Post
    We could have told you that for free.
    I'm not paying for it (the tax payers are, so lol at them) and I'm hoping they can fix me.

  37. #187
    Senior Member Pepe's Avatar
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    I know you're not paying for them you parasite. It is the hard working Brits I worry for.

  38. #188
    Bookie Sir Andy Mahowry's Avatar
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    Don't worry, Chinny will have me shipped out soon enough

  39. #189
    mischamischaracterisation Dquincy's Avatar
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    Stop attention seeking Moam. Just cheer up and stop dwelling on things.

  40. #190
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Prescribed some antidepressants today with some cbt to follow. Fucking brilliant.

  41. #191
    leedsrevolution
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manc View Post
    Prescribed some antidepressants today with some cbt to follow. Fucking brilliant.
    Join the fucking club. Is everyone on these nowadays?

  42. #192
    Senior Member Manc's Avatar
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    Everyone in my immediate family has at some point or another. Them genes.

  43. #193
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    .....

  44. #194
    leedsrevolution
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smiffy View Post
    Nope.

    I've found that eating healthier, exercising more and generally countering negative thoughts with positive ones has worked better than any tablets I've had.
    I'm not taking mental health advice from you, you fucking fruitcake.

  45. #195
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    I love the word mimsy. I'm gonna call my flatmate one when I get a chance.

  46. #196
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    .....

  47. #197
    Won the Old Board Lewis's Avatar
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    It was good advice as well, given what a state he is.

  48. #198
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    I'm just wondering why smiffy hasn't sold his magic cure to the NHS yet.

  49. #199
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    Maybe he has. He's a mental health nurse, isn't he?

  50. #200
    ram it up your shitpipe Giggles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shindig View Post
    Maybe he has. He's a mental health nurse, isn't he?
    Just remove the health nurse.

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