Just to complete my transition into a boring old bastard - 'Glasto' looks absolutely shit. I can't even imagine paying £100 odd to listen to some sub-standard pop then camp in a flooded field full of pissed up wankers pissing in bottles.
Just to complete my transition into a boring old bastard - 'Glasto' looks absolutely shit. I can't even imagine paying £100 odd to listen to some sub-standard pop then camp in a flooded field full of pissed up wankers pissing in bottles.
The idea of a festival with mates is one that appeals, but I doubt I'd enjoy much of the music. Plus, now I'm 30, I sort of feel like I've missed the boat.
I got to hear most of Saturday night of electric picnic from a friends back yard this year and apart from Noel Gallagher it was all horseshite.
I've never seen the appeal personally.Originally Posted by Spikey M
Glastonbury at 24 is better than Glastonbury at any prior age tbh.
Absolutely seething and miserable so far. Great start! Forgot the electric toothbrush as well.
If I was going to go to a festival now, I'd go in some poncy VIP tent thing. Fuck sleeping in a shitty Argos job with the plebs.
Just come back from York. It was easier than the other walk on the whole as it was 10km shorter, although there was about an hour of walking through uneven grass along the side of the A64 in the dark, which was a bit shit. It also rained a couple of times. I didn't really meet anyone this time either.
On the other hand, I went for a curry at a place Leeds that id not been to before and it turned out to be a right little number. Was very happy with that.
In a few weeks there's going to be a Crimewatch Special about some bloke lurking in the northern countryside offering to duct tape, but not rape, passers by.
'Members of the public are advised to approach with caution, as he can get very defensive.'
Saw Taylor swift perform after the qualifying at the formula 1 last night (amazing) and the race rot day.
Bloody roasting too. no Sunday night fear ahead for me.
I'm in Norwich.
I'm a twit
Ok so the wife is away this weekend sucking off loads of refugee cock in Amsterdam on a hen do with someone who's getting married to a convicted paedophile with two children, a terribly unhappy wife who has threatened to run away three times, a single mother who has a lust for Turkish cock for some reason even though the dad was a filthy Turk who hasn't paid a penny or even acknowledges his daughter, and a girl who's been in a long term relationship which involved a 'short break' of two weeks, during which time she had had basically an orgy with 4 guys.
What could go wrong? Anyway I've dropped a clanger because my daughter has a party tomorrow lunchtime, I added the mum on Facebook about 2 hours ago, we know each other by first name so it's not DREADFUL but my excuse was rather than be a creeper that I lost the invitation and needed to get the address and I didn't have her number. Of course, it never occurred to me she wouldn't accept my request for whatever reason. Now I am facing the possibility of turning up to the correct place (I know exactly where it is) and having that totally awkward thing where she knows I've creeped her on Facebook and added her for no reason. Fuck.
You've mentioned your wife twice in that list of people who are going.
At least twice.
Just say you got the address from someone else. Or just don't bring it up. It's not that hard, no need to shit your pants for everything.
I'm a catastrophiser. But thanks for dismissing my feelings. Tell me, would you tell someone with a severed limb to stop shitting their pants over everything? Because it's the same thing. Just because you can't see it.
Oh, and who else? I don't fucking know anyone else that's going.
Which body part are you missing?
If someone with a severed limb shat his pants over everything then I would tell him the same because having a severed limb has nothing to do with it.
Hmm. Better to not go then, I think.
Did you just add her on facebook to perv around?
Also
'I found the invitation in the end. It was in the dildo drawer lololol.'
Even I wouldn't be shitting my pants at this.
No I did not. I added her with that excuse in the hope of actually trying to become friends over and above 'Hi' and for someone to talk to at all these shit fucking gay parties with screaming bastard children. There are a few cliques because the catchment area is so small. I've been to quite a few before but always with the wife never on my own so I'm facing 2 hours of isolation or drawing teeth. Maybe I'm just a prick. No I definitely am.
"I did find the invitation. It was hiding at the back of the bottom drawer, along with my self esteem and self worth...though they remain there"
*awkward pause*
"But let me tell you about this guy I know called Mahow"
You'll shag her in the ball pit. In your mind, that is.
Nah. In fact there are very few milfs there. Most of them come from successful families so a lot are only children with older mums and dads.
Aren't there other dads there you can talk with about football or something?
They take bets on how long it takes you to mention Sainsbury's trying to fit in.
Not really. There was one but he knew some of the mums, when we did get talking he liked hockey and he's ginger to boot. The other one is one of those over enthusiastic prats who is like GO SON GO! FANTASTIC SON! and looks like he's the son of a farmer but wishes he was the son of a banker. A class A twat that nonces about in a checked shirt and a bodywarmer. Expensive stuff like, but still a gimp. The dad of the kid who's party it is is a really nice bloke, but he'll either be offshore or too busy doing party stuff to stand and chat for ages. I might just charge my phone fully and ignore everyone. That seems like the best/Giggles option.
Oh actually yeah, there is a couple who went last year to the same party, I thought they were losers but I go to Twisting Tots with the mum and she's actually alright (if a bit weird, they co-sleep with their kids?! but she's a GP so whatevs). Her husband is a bit of a loser (and a fireman so lol). I might just chat to him, knowing I hold the social upper ground. Anyone else is free to join that party.
Also there's another couple who were quite sound, the guy used to work the for the sister company of the original company I worked for. Anyway his wife I'm sure doesn't acknowledge me anymore since she caught me staring at her breastfeeding their youngest at yet another party last year.
So...scenes.
They probably have names for me like Breasty McStare Feed or the Facebook Killer. I'll fucking carve them up.
This is why kids ruin happy solitude.
Sounds like a dreadful way to spend an afternoon, even if you were friends with some of the others. I can't even imagine how bad it must be either not knowing anyone, or knowing and actively disliking them. Good luck, Magic.
Yesterday was spent having a guided tour around Norwich for the third time. Had to drive somewhere at 4:30 so couldn't even suggest nipping into a few pubs through the day. Today there's talk of driving to "the coast" but it sounds like it's just pretty, rather than there being anything there. So long as I'm back in town with the car parked at the hotel for 5:25 and in a pub watching the Reds by half past, I'm not too bothered. Need to find a Betfred before 1:30 to put a Goals Galore on though.
I'm a twit
Fireman trumps phone monkey every day of the week.
There's this fat girl I have added on facebook from somewhere who is always posting about how depressed she is, and I've matched with her on tinder from spamming right swipe with the intention of doing quality control after I get matches. I saw her in town last night, and it is probably not having sex for 2 months and the fact I was quite pissed but my main feeling at the time was that she wasn't as fat as I thought and fuck it maybe I should try to shag her.
Plenty of mutual friends and we live in a small town so I'd feel bad if I everyone found out I used her for sex and sent her into a suicidal spiral by breaking her heart, but I'm gonna spend today considering a CHEEKY tinder message.
Oh, and there's a small chance that the person I saw wasn't actually her.
What could possibly go wrong.
As soon as Igor opens with 'there's this' you know a tragic tale is about to unfold.
Have you been to your party yet?
Bonus points on offer for getting as many thinly veiled refferences to her weight into the CHEEKY message as possible.
"There's this Scottish bloke on this Football Manager forum I post on..."
I've looked at her facebook photos again and either she's lost a lot of weight in the last few months or the person I saw last night was someone else entirely. Or I was more drunk than I realised.
Future Mrs Balis.
Went the pub for tea for a mates birthday, was a bit dull until Tom (from Baz's rugby lad stag do thread) arrived and cheered us all up.
I'm going a wedding tonight where I will not know a single person other than who I am going with, should be fun though, we're staying in some weird house thing I found on AirBnB.
Tomorrow I shall be sulking over it being the last day of half term.
It was actually decent. I was dreading it, sat next to people I didn't know and my daughter was pulling the i wasnt to go home bullshit. However we got talking and she was alright. Then i went and talked to a couple i know for the last hour. Still thank God I'm not going to the one tomorrow. Grandparents because I'm on dinner. Woop.
What about the one you were creeping on Facebook?
Oh yeah she was fine. Accepted me after midnight last night. I sent her a PM this morning and she replied. Breasty McStare Face ignored me though, the sour cunt.
Edit: did I mention I was holding her other son at the time?
Edit 2: and I had a boner?
Going to look at a possible new house. The whole thought of it is making me tired...can't be arsed with the hassle, but am keen to get a bigger place.
Also want to get away from my next door neighbour. She's a fucking mentalist who hoovers probably 4 times a day, at least.
I was at my friends 30th last night for a Mexican then karaoke. The food was brilliant but it was in Leicester square which is horrendous. So many fucking people.
Then into Soho for this karaoke and is there anything shitter? 12 people in a small room murdering songs for hours. Fucking hell.
Is that Salsa? Nice food but fucking shit otherwise.
Lucky Voice? Absolute shambles that place. Horrific.
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